back to 20 years old

(Continued from the previous chapter...)

I went to the school concert again this New Year, and this time it felt different. You always looked at me as if you knew I was in the audience.You came to our bar on New Year's Eve, I was very surprised by your appearance, if I wasn't singing, I think I would rush down to find you.The first time I saw you sleeping on the train back to Beijing with you, like a doll, I kept staring at you on the screen, how I wished time could stop at that moment.You obediently let me hold your hand in the shopping mall in Beijing. Do you also like me a little bit?

When you foolishly said that that person was also a girl in the bar, I knew that you were a little girl who didn't know the dangers of society at all, and that girls sometimes do bad things to girls, you little idiot.But when you were crying about your father, my heart was also crying, blaming myself for making you sad, and I don’t want to see you sad in the future.You said you would contact me on WeChat but you didn't.You posted the roses that Zhao Zhi sent you, I know that you are happy is enough, and I will be happy when you are happy.

But I still guess, when you bow your head and think about things, have you ever thought of me, even if it's just a shadow.After you left my house angrily, I really wanted to chase you, but I knew I was not qualified to chase you.I'm angry at myself for not protecting you, why I didn't tell you earlier, why I made you so sad, and why I'm making you angry again.

If Tomoko brings me peaceful happiness, I will miss it and be hurt after I leave.

Then you, from the beginning to the end, brought me full of joy, a kind of worry and reluctance, afraid that you would be wronged, and afraid that you would not be able to take good care of yourself.Always ask yourself, how are you doing now?

The fireworks that appeared in the sky of Macau, that is your name, because there is no room for the second XY in my heart.If what I have expressed to you with fireworks is not clear enough, the song I wrote for you is full of my heartfelt voice. I hope that one day I can be loved by you, and I hope that there is a corner in your heart that belongs to me.

do you know?How much courage did I take to kiss you, I was afraid that you would be scared away, I was afraid that you would look at me at a loss like watching fireworks, I was afraid that you and I would not even be friends, I am afraid that you will disappear, I am afraid that you will ignore me again.

Eileen Chang said - if you like someone, you will be humbled into the dust.When I look at you, I feel very low, low in the dust, but I like it in my heart, so flowers bloom from the dust.Among thousands of people, you meet the person you want to meet. Among thousands of years, in the boundless wilderness of time, there are two people who meet like this, neither one step earlier nor one step later. All that can be said is a soft voice: Hi, are you here too?

Shenyue, there used to be a person named Xinyu Tomoko in my heart, but that heart is dead, I don't hate her or blame her because they are both in the past tense.

There is a girl named Zhang Shenyue living in my heart now, she is self-willed, loves to laugh, and loves to get angry, she will smile foolishly when she is happy, and poke her little mouth when she is angry.The words that come out of this mouth can sometimes make people angry, and sometimes make people laugh out loud.She has completely occupied my heart, I can't live without her, I think I have fallen in love with her, deeply in love with her. I_love_you_than_anything_in_the_world.

Shen Yue, let me protect you, stay by your side, love you silently, I don't want to care about what will happen in the future, I just want to have your company now.

Give me a chance, give me an equal and fair chance, a chance to start as a friend, a chance for me to take care of you, okay?

If you have ever had a slight heartbeat, a little bit of liking, then give me this chance, I will wait for you on the steps in front of the music hall for a week until 7 o'clock in the evening.Now that you have opened my bill, you cannot go back on your word.

Of course