back to 20 years old

(Continued from the previous chapter...)

After Sophon disappeared, I mobilized all the power around me to find her. I begged my mother to help me find her, and my godfather to help me find her, but they all said they couldn't find her.As you already know, my godfather is the boss of the Mu Rong gang, and the Mu Rong gang is the largest gang in Macau. Is there anyone he can't find?It was only four years ago that I found out that my godfather had found her a long time ago and knew about her a long time ago. They were afraid that I would be sad and dare not tell me.

After graduating from high school, Tomoko was brought back to Japan by her parents. As soon as she arrived in Japan, her father forced her to marry a Japanese businessman, and that man was not good to her.My godfather and my mother, Ah Ling, they all know about this, but no one of them told me.I really hated them back then, why didn't you tell me all this earlier, if you told me earlier, Tomoko and I wouldn't be what we are now.

After Tomoko disappeared, I drank every day and didn't want to sing, because she couldn't see me singing well.I've been looking for her for a long time but I can't find her. It's been a long time. I'm not looking for her. When I see girls like her, I think they are Tomoko. I kiss them and sleep with them. I tell myself Tomoko never left.I thought you were too, and if your name was the same as hers, you would be her.

When you and your partner said that you were going to perform, I followed you to the concert hall of McGill University. This is the first time I know that there will be an inter-school alliance concert on December 12 every year.I listened to your Guzheng performance in the audience, and this was the first time I listened to such simple music seriously.

The way you perform on the stage is completely different from the way you were in the restaurant just now. When you are not smiling, you are always cold, with a cold expression and a serious look. When you close your eyes and immerse yourself in the music, you are thinking What?Your every move on stage, every frown and smile has always affected me.

After the show, I saw your boyfriend pick you up.You snuggled up to him like a child, very sweet and happy.I wonder if it would be the same if Tomoko and I were still together.

I know from the school website that your music group will have exchange performances in different universities on the 29,30,31th, [-]th, and [-]st. Maybe it’s because of you. I listen to every performance. I found you in your performance list The name - Zhang Shenyue.I just remember your name, I still live the same life as before, the difference is that I will think of your face when I hear the quaint music by chance.

When Cicada mentioned to me that she wanted to continue her graduate studies and let me study with her, the first choice we applied for was Hezhong University.In the cafeteria on the second day of graduate school, I saw you up close for the second time, but you don't remember me, maybe I never appeared in your memory.I really didn't know that you would also join the French club. I was just doing a favor to my cousin. When her cousin asked me to choose more than 30 names, I only knew your name on the list.

When I went to see my grandmother that time, I went to Tomoko's house again. After returning from Nanxun, I returned to the way I was before.In the bar at night, I saw a girl who looked like Tomoko, and I took her home like before.But when you saw her, your terrified expression, you ran out of my house in a hurry, I was really restless, I was afraid that you would be scared away.I ran to the Children's Palace to find you. What you said surprised me and let me know more about you.

You said you would come to my birthday party but you didn't come, I was so annoyed that you, like Tomoko, would leave without saying goodbye and disappear without me.But when you came to my house with chicken wings and saw you cooking for me seriously, I knew you were different.You are happy when you are happy, angry when you are angry, and never hide your emotions.

Once I was eating with a big V, and I saw Zhao Zhi intimately with another girl in the restaurant, I was very angry.You may not know that every time I see you, I have the urge to protect you, I don’t want to make you angry, I don’t want to see you worry, I just want you to be happy every day and smile heartlessly every day.I chose not to tell you about Zhao Zhi because I was afraid that you would be sad.

(Not finished, to be continued...)