Inferior by Nature

The operation was arranged in the afternoon, and I had to prepare for the operation in the morning. Ran Qingzhuang personally shaved my hair.

The fader buzzed softly in the ear, and there was no grass growing where it passed.

"Do you think my hair is soft?"

Hearing my question, Ran Qingzhuang lowered the position of the fader, and the voice suddenly became quieter.

"Yes." He plucked the half of my hair that hadn't been shaved, and said, "Like wool rolls."

I was amused by his metaphor, stretched my hand out of the cloth, touched the fallen hair, and said: "Don't tell me, I was really curly when I was born. There is a saying in our place, children who don't shave their hair My hair will be soft and thin, but my mother thinks my curly hair looks good, so she insists on not shaving it for me. Who would have thought that when I grow up, my hair will become soft and the curly hair will disappear.”

Fortunately, although the hair is soft and not thin, the amount is enough. Every time I wash my hair and blow it, it will be quite fluffy.

"Then my hair is so hard, maybe it's because my grandma shaved my head too much when I was a child." He kept talking, and he kept working on his hands. After two sentences, my whole head felt chilly up.

I suppressed a smile and said, "No, your hair is stiff because of your temper."

The sound of the fader completely disappeared, Ran Qingzhuang was quiet for a while, and asked: "Am I very angry?"

My scalp tightened, and I realized that I might have said something wrong, so I answered cautiously: "...just a little."

Usually nothing, just ignore people and put on a bad face when you are angry with me, here is a little bit.

He didn't speak for a long time, but silently swept the hair on my face and neck with a dry towel.

I became more and more uneasy, and was thinking about whether to add something nice, when he untied the plastic wrap around my body and said softly, "Then I will change it later."

I almost thought I heard it wrong, everyone has their own personality, I just said it casually, I didn't think about asking him to change anything, who would have thought that he would take it seriously.

Fearing that he might misunderstand me and think he has a bad temper, I hastily explained: "I'm talking nonsense..."

In the middle of the conversation, my mother came in from the outside: "Is the shaved done yet? Oh, my son's hair is so beautiful."

I had to swallow the rest of the words.

When the operation was about to take place, everyone who should be there was there, and even Nan Xian asked for leave to come here.Everyone seemed very relaxed in words, but in fact, including myself, I was very nervous.

When I was about to be pushed into the operating room, the little girl couldn't hold back anymore, she cried and called me over and over again, and sent me in crying all the time.

In the darkness, there are strange people and voices all around.

The anesthetist said, "I'm going to anesthetize you, follow me to count to three. Come on, one, two..."

I counted to three with the other person, and then lost consciousness.

I had a very long dream.

In the dream, one moment I was wearing a suit to attend Nanxian and Fang Luosu's wedding, and the next moment I was sitting at the dining table having dinner with my mother and sister.

"Please put a ring on the other side."

Lively banquet hall, flowers, applause, salute.Witnessed by relatives and friends, the groom and the bride wear wedding rings that symbolize love and loyalty for the other half.

Nanxian is gentle and handsome, Fang Luosu is beautiful and confident. Although the couple did not get together in the end, they were indeed a very good match when they got married.

I stood aside, watched the sweet kiss between the two, and twisted the cracker in my hand. With a "bang", pink and purple notes flew all over the sky in an instant, rendering the wedding scene even more dreamy and festive.

"Brother, have you thought about what kind of girlfriend you will find in the future?" The little girl was wearing a bodysuit and doing warm-up exercises beside her.

It is rare to go back home during the Chinese New Year, because there are no relatives to go, and the daytime is too boring, so the younger sister suggested that I should accompany her, saying that she would practice dancing.

I adjusted the strings, and thought about it seriously, but my mind went blank.

"I haven't thought much about it, what about you? You are seventeen years old, is anyone chasing you?"

"I don't like them." She snorted coldly and said in an exaggerated tone, "Men will only affect my studies. I will make a lot of money in the future. How can I be dragged down by them?"

After listening to her words, I felt both funny and sad.

A few months ago, she suddenly called me crying one day, saying that she didn't want to learn to dance, didn't want to go to college, and wanted to go out to work.I knew something must have happened. After asking patiently for a long time, she told me intermittently that it was because of a pair of shoes.

Mother bought her a new pair of dancing shoes, very beautiful, she likes it very much.She took the pair of shoes and went to school happily in the morning. When she bent down to tie the shoelaces, she saw that the shoes her mother was wearing were not only washed to yellow, but also the glue on the soles of the shoes was cracked.

Mom's shoes were so bad that she didn't even think about getting new ones, but spent money to buy her new dancing shoes.The strong contrast broke her heart in an instant, making the brand-new dancing shoes in her hand feel like a red-hot soldering iron, and even holding it felt like a torment.

In the end, I persuaded her for a long time before I told her to give up the idea of ​​giving up her studies. After that, she redoubled her efforts and worked hard. Even my mother said that she seemed to be a different person and devoted herself to her studies.

She seemed to save her energy, an energy that would never allow herself to embarrass my mother and me.

"You just want to be happy, and we don't need you to make a lot of money." I pressed the strings and slowly played a tune.

The bow rubs against the strings, and the sound resonates through the piano box, forming a unique bass.

"I don't, I have to let you live a good life." When the music sounded, the little girl also tiptoed and danced lightly.

"This is the hardest way to push. It's better if you help me. I push for 2 minutes by myself and I have to rest for 5 minutes."

My mother's food stall was converted from a tricycle, with a canopy and table boards added, so it's not too small.

The night market is three or four kilometers away from my home. There is a slope on the road that must be passed. It is very easy to go downhill when I go there, but it is uphill when I come back. She can't ride. She has to push for a long time every time.

It's okay in winter, but in summer, when you push it, you will be covered with sweat, and even the clothes can wring out water.

"From now on... I will push it for you every day..." My mother was holding the front of the car, and I was pushing the buttocks. There were hardly any pedestrians on the road after two o'clock in the morning. Can't open it.

"When school starts, you go to school well. Who wants you to come every day. I work so hard to support you two brothers and sisters, so I asked you to come out with me?" She glanced back at me.

I knew she wasn't really angry, so I wiped the sweat off my face and said, "Then I'll push it for you every day during the holidays."

She didn't say anything after hearing the words, turned her eyes back to the front, and continued to push the car uphill.

After a long time, she sighed a long time, and said with some emotion: "Fortunately, there are you..."

Sweat dripped down my chin. Although she didn't finish speaking, I could probably understand what she meant—fortunately, I had you, otherwise I might not be able to hold on alone.

"One muscle and one face, full of beauty, far-sighted, and fortunate..."

Rolling up the book and reading in the morning, my eyes fell outside the window, but I didn't see the person who was always there before.

Why is it so late today?

He absent-mindedly turned one page, then another, until the morning reading was almost over, and Ran Qingzhuang came late with a broom.

Shouting something in the direction of the back door, after a while, the little black dog appeared wagging its whirlwind tail, rubbing against Ran Qingzhuang's feet.

Ran Qingzhuang knelt down, inserted his hands into the puppy's armpits, and hugged it whole.

He talked to the puppy while laughing, and touched the wet nose of the puppy with his nose.Looking at it from a distance, I also laughed unconsciously.

At that time, I didn't understand what it was that was about to move in my heart and flowed into my brain along the blood vessels. Now that I think about it, it should be "desire".

It has nothing to do with the body, and it has nothing to do with ambition. It is just a vague and obscure desire to be close and to be friends with him.

Ran Qingzhuang seemed to sense something, hugged Xiao Hei, and suddenly raised his head to look at me.

Before I could look back, I was caught by him.There was no expression on his face, and he couldn't see if he was angry because of my peeping.

Looking at each other for a moment, my heart was beating like a drum, and I was about to look away when I saw him holding Xiao Hei's paw and saying hello to me.

He seemed to think that I was watching the dog.

After saying hello, he didn't have any other interaction with me. He did what he should do afterwards. He swept the floor twice symbolically, and left with the broom before the bell rang for the end of the morning reading.

In a daze, I woke up from one dream after another. There was still darkness in front of my eyes, but I could hear many voices.

"Can you hear me?" Doctor Xie's voice sounded.

My consciousness was still a little confused, and it took me a while to recall where I was.

"Hmm..." I struggled to make a sound from my throat, "Is the operation... successful?"

"I have good news for you. We made an intraoperative pathological section and found that what you had was not a glioma, but a kind of inflammatory pseudotumor." Dr. Xie said excitedly, "This kind of inflammatory pseudotumor The imaging appearance is very similar to glioma, and because it is extremely rare and the cause of the disease is unknown, it is easy to be misdiagnosed..."

She said a lot of technical terms later on. I just woke up from the anesthesia, and I didn't understand it very well, but I still understood the most important message-I didn't have glioma.

Moreover, Dr. Xie's tone is so optimistic. This kind of inflammatory pseudotumor should be much easier to treat than glioma.

"I will push you back to the ward now, and then carry out anti-inflammatory, anti-viral and dehydration treatments. I believe your condition will improve soon."

Not long after, the push bed under him moved, and he should have left the operating room.

Just now I tried to listen to what the doctor said a lot, and I almost used up my little energy, and now I feel a little drowsy.

I could hear the little girl calling me, and I wanted to respond to her. I tried to raise my hand, and the next moment, I was held by a wider and stronger hand.

This is not my little sister's hand.

I moved my fingers and called Ran Qingzhuang's name with a smile.

"I'm here, what are you going to say?" He bent down and listened to me carefully.

In a low voice, with a volume that only the two of us can hear, I struggled word by word: "I didn't watch the dog, I have been... watching you."

After that, regardless of whether he could understand or not, he succumbed to the residual power of the anesthetic again and fell into a coma.