Wading in muddy water

Christmas Eve happened to be Friday, and the school organized a masquerade party.

I reported to Liufang in advance that she was reluctant to let me participate, but after hesitating for two days, she finally agreed. I guess Liufang was also afraid that I would get crazy sooner or later when I was by her side every day.We quarreled three times during this week, and she screamed suddenly at two o'clock in the middle of the night. I couldn't get in her door, so I could only listen to her yelling crazy things like "don't come here" at the door.

Liu Fang would really go crazy.

I have a strong premonition that I'm getting closer to spying on Liufang's secret.Her mental state became more and more unstable. During the few days when my brother and I lived together, I made it clear that I loved Zhou Boxin. To prevent Zhou Boxin and I from continuing to meet.

She could hardly hide her secret.

The scale of the dance is not very large. Although it is an event for the whole school from the first to the third year of high school, one venue is enough.After all, they are still high school students, and there are many people who concentrate on studying and never bother to dress themselves up, and well-behaved children are rarely interested in such activities.

I picked a black mask that only covered the eyes, I didn't want to dress too exaggeratedly, and I wore a well-proportioned suit.I seldom dress so formally. Dacheng and the third son have more chances to wear formal clothes than me. After all, they are the serious young masters of the family, and they have more chances to meet people than me.

The girl in front of her was wearing an exquisite little dress, with a beige long-haired shawl around her shoulders, elegant and playful.She clinked glasses with me generously, and I wanted to be more generous, but I couldn't find the state of mind that I used to be able to pretend to be a decent young master no matter what.I don't know if I can still see the smile on my face, so I said "sorry", and she carried her skirt to the next target.

The third son stood next to me with a glass of red wine, shaking the glass in his hand not too distracted, and he was looking at Dacheng who volunteered to help my third son and me pick gifts from a distance.The school prepared a Christmas tree with all kinds of blind box gifts hanging on it.After watching it for a long time, he sighed, "You stand here like a bandit collecting tolls. You are soft on receiving gifts, and you still need a gift from the school?"

After finishing speaking, she turned to look at me again, "You dark circles, when can you move out of Liufang? Don't feel too guilty about Liufang. To be honest, whether she is sick or not is not caused by you. It's one thing for you to be willing to take care of her, but don't put too much pressure on yourself."

I leaned against the bar counter behind me with my elbows, and didn't speak for a while.

It's been a long time since I've been to such a lively place. During this period of time, my life was only for schizophrenic patients, screaming, depression, and uncontrollable longing.Zhou Boxin might have played a trick on me, I couldn't finish masturbating even thinking about him, I always felt something was wrong.The smell is wrong, the atmosphere is wrong, the touch is wrong, it's a fucking dog.

The Christmas tree was shining brightly, and on the tip of the tree hung a huge star.There was excitement in the air, wrapped around me like a ribbon of red and green, and made me feel a little stuffy.

"I know. Just wait, wait a little longer," I said.

Private schools have many tricks, and they don’t seem to worry about the students’ puppy love. The last link is to freely choose a partner for dancing. The third son was taken away by a cute-looking school girl, and Dacheng and I were left to drink together.

I was not interested, and Dacheng also suddenly started to keep himself clean, because he was chasing Internet celebrities recently.I heard him mention it before, it was Zhou Qingluo's school lecture on the day of Zhou Qingluo's death, the cheerleader he missed because he didn't go to play basketball, and the Internet celebrity of my brother's company.His progress in chasing people is pretty hip, and he has been steadily hanging in the live broadcast room to reward No. 1 for a week, and he hasn't seen him yet.

"Wechat has been added, but she doesn't pay much attention to me. Are all Internet celebrities so indifferent to the money owner's father?" Dacheng touched a cigarette and bit it in his mouth. Smoking is still prohibited in the dance venue, so he can only bite it. Then she looked at me, "Brother Li, can I tell her that I am your brother, the brother of her big boss' brother."

I wanted to laugh, "Say it, I didn't lie to her."

"Tsk, I'm not afraid... You haven't caught up with anyone, so I'm going to take advantage of your relationship to chase someone, isn't it kind of rude." Dacheng felt a little bit sorry.

"You are borrowing a brotherly relationship, not a lover's relationship." I replied casually, and after thinking about it, I checked his phone again, "Didn't her Moments block you?"

"Fuck! I'm her No. [-] list, No. [-] list! Her No. [-] list cost me a lot of money, so it's really hard to get it down. But I've seen it. Most of her circle of friends are trivial things in life. Why did I meet a cat downstairs?" Stray cats and the like don't mention much about the company, let alone your brother, I guess she has never seen your brother."

"Oh." I was a little disappointed and looked away.

"If I can chat with someone, I will remember to help you find out about your brother's movements. I think you are going to be depressed. Can you smile?" Dacheng poked me with his elbow.

I turned to look at him and smiled, "I'm not smiling anymore?"

He was speechless, "It's too ugly to smile my brother."

Dacheng is right, I am really going to get depression.

The driver was waiting for me at the school gate after the dance, and he waited for so long that I couldn't even go to a bar to relax.I had no choice but to be kidnapped into a square car and locked tightly by four doors. The invisible oppression forced me to unbutton the two buttons on my shirt and throw my coat beside me.I took a lot of deep breaths. At first I was counting and wanted to take three deep breaths, but then I couldn't help but kept inhaling and exhaling.

The night is dyed orange by the street lamps. Looking out of the car window, the street lamps are connected to form an orange line.Watching Journey to the West when I was a child, Monkey King always liked to draw a circle for Tang Seng, telling him that it was absolutely safe inside, as long as he didn't go out, he could survive.In the past, I was always very angry when I saw Tang Seng doing all kinds of death, calling him troublesome, calling him disobedient, and calling him what he deserved if he was eaten by monsters.

Now I am in this circle by myself, and Liu Fang and Zhou Boxin told me that as long as I don't go out, I will be safe.

For their so-called "safety", I have to sacrifice my lover and my freedom. I have to be overwhelmed every day like a living dead, and I don't even know what the danger is.I know what a "circle" is. In the eyes of the protected people, it will never be a guarantee, but a straight high wall, impenetrable. After seeing it, I will not feel any gratitude in my heart, but just want to cross it.

It was quite late when I got home, around ten o'clock.Although the light was on in the living room, Liu Fang should have fallen asleep.She doesn't sleep very well at night, so she usually goes to bed early and wakes up early in the morning. She has been awake for a long time since I woke up at six o'clock.

I tried my best to keep my movements light, but luckily I didn't alarm Liu Fang.

It took a long time to take a bath. I stood in the bathroom holding back for a long time. I really wanted to have some worldly desires. After all, I was depressed during this period of time.But the bathroom is too easy to remind me of the last time, in Zhou Boxin's bathroom, it was hard, it just didn't feel right, it didn't feel right anywhere.Grass, I cursed secretly in my heart, but finally gave up and let the bottom stick up.

When I got out of the bathroom door, I was irritable and couldn't control the strength in my hand, and slammed the door shut with a "bang".

While rubbing his wet hair with a towel, he passed the door of Liufang, only thinking about whether Liufang would be woken up just now, so he stopped and listened to the movement inside.Fortunately, she must have fallen asleep and didn't wake her up.I just breathed a sigh of relief and wanted to leave, when I suddenly heard a dull crashing sound, I was startled, and didn't dare to speak out rashly.

The room was not specially soundproofed, and the sound of breathing gradually became heavier and heavier, and even gradually began to tremble, and finally two mournful cries were vaguely rubbed in.I raised my hand and knocked on the door, and raised my voice, "Mom?"

With a "bang", something hit the door.

I was startled by the tremor and loud noise of the wooden door in front of me, and subconsciously took two steps back.No, Liufang fell ill, I didn't care too much, reached out to twist the doorknob, and it was locked.Liu Fang knew that he would sometimes get sick, and the first thing he did after returning to his room at night was to lock it.I knocked on the door twice, "Mom! Mom! Liufang!"

"Don't come here! Don't come here, what else do you want?"

The last time she fell ill, she was not sober this time, and she only spoke a few vague nonsense, more like being haunted by a nightmare.But this time it was more like a hallucination, maybe I was mistaken for someone else, I could only shout into the room again, "Mom, open the door! I'm Chen Li!"

But the crying inside showed no sign of stopping. The woman's sharp cry hit the eardrums, and the air seemed to be twisted into thin threads, strangling my neck.I stopped knocking on the door and listened quietly to the movement inside.

"Don't lean in, please, please, please!"

"I'll help you with my mouth, I can use anything, as long as don't... Please, I beg you, I really can't do it!"

"Beast! Beast!!! I will definitely kill you! I will kill you one day sooner or later, you... you must die!!!"

The night at this time should be silent, and it is winter again, with much less insect chirping than in midsummer, as if no matter how noisy the mind is, it can be covered by a layer of falling snow.I kept listening to it, and Liu Fang's eyes flashed in front of my eyes from time to time, those eyes that should always be affectionate on other beautiful women.

Liu Fang's eyes are very beautiful, most of the time she is elegant and gentle, her eyes bend down when she smiles, but she is lifeless.I used to think that Liufang's eyes would rain, and I thought there were many secrets in them that made her just be a dumb and bullied.I only thought that her concept of right and wrong was different from ordinary people, and I never felt that there was anything wrong with being a mistress, and I was born to be a villain.

No matter how pitiful the villain is, it will only make people feel disgusted. I thought in my heart not to clean up, and no matter what sad things she has, I won't give her any sympathy.

But why have I never thought about it?

It never occurred to me that Liufang might have been raped.She always said that she was a woman and a mother, and looked at me with desperate and mournful eyes. These words were meaningful, and she was asking for help.How come I never heard it?

I suddenly felt quite intense anger, and I didn't even know why.

Maybe it was because of Liufang, why didn't she call the police?Why not abort?And why do you want to be a junior?It may also be because of me, I lived for 18 years, and Liufang protected me for 18 years. I never knew that I was the son of a rapist, but I still thought Liufang was a lunatic and a bad woman.

Liu Fang's cries are inside this door, as long as I go in, her hallucinations may regard me as the rapist.Just let me know the person's name...

I know that my brain is extremely excited now, I can hardly control it, it manipulates me to get up, kick open the door of Liufang hard.The wooden door slammed open and slammed into the wall with a loud bang.I saw Liu Fang huddled on the bedside, her hair was covered with tears, she looked at me trembling all over, she shook her head while stepping back.

There was a huge rush of pleasure in my head that even woke me up to the fact that something was wrong with me.A secret that has been kept under wraps for a long time is about to be revealed by my own hands. The price is that Liufang’s blood and flesh are attached to it, but I really want to spy on it, and subconsciously I know that this must be a very unbearable The secret is so unbearable that Liu Fang and Zhou Boxin need to work together to keep it from me.

I was so unbearable that Zhou Boxin didn't want to love me.

As long as I uncover it, as long as I uncover it, I can stand in front of Zhou Boxin without any scruples.

But I was suddenly a little scared, Liu Fang's state was something I had never seen before, and it clearly showed how serious this secret was.I stared at her tightly, and my legs began to tremble a little, and also a little soft.Breathing started to mess up, I kind of regretted it, I...

Liufang suddenly exploded, I didn't have time to react, and it was too late to run away.She rushed forward and strangled my neck, very hard, she really wanted to strangle the person in front of her.My eyes widened, sporadic black spots flashed before my eyes from time to time due to the suffocation, and I desperately tried to break her hand.

"I tell you! I will strangle this child to death!"

"Did you think I'd give birth to it? It's a monster!"

"It eats my flesh and drinks my blood! So do you! You will die, you will all die!"

Liu Fang gritted her hatred between her teeth, she stared at me, watching me suffocate and struggling, her breathing became more and more rapid, tears slammed on my face crazily, her eyes were empty but crazily, pinching me fiercely, and Call out the name of "I" like blood and tears, with a shrill and tearing tone.

I can hear my own breathing, slow and clear.Liu Fang was still talking, her lips opened and closed very fast, but I couldn't seem to hear, and suddenly I didn't feel that she was pinching my neck so hard that it didn't hurt at all.

You can only hear your own breathing.

It seems that I am the only one breathing in this world, and my loud voice is enough to startle the entire quiet night.

I think it's not bad for Liu Fang to just strangle me to death like this, she should try harder and strangle me to death earlier, before I hear Liu Yuan's name from her mouth, strangle me to death.

Liu Yuan.

The author says:

Today’s update will not be updated tomorrow, because the last double update was a bit disrupted!After that, it will resume Monday and Thursday without updates! (Takes out the bowl to contact the sea