Wading in muddy water

Zhou Boxin wore a black sports suit and light-colored sneakers on his feet.

The tall man fully propped up the loose sports suit, not as aggressive as when he was usually dressed formally, but still had an indescribable appeal.I don’t know whether his attractiveness is just because I like him or everyone can perceive it. I think it is more inclined to the latter, that is, some people just stand there without doing anything and exude charm. Zhou Boxin is such a person.

It doesn't look like 26 years old at all, although 26 years old is not old, but if he stops on the campus of the university, he will be a senior at the school grass level.Oh, I realized that he was dressed like a student, but he also had the ability to control everything with ease. When these two temperaments collided, the charm value directly exploded.

I silently followed behind him, like his attendant or assistant.He is making a work call. If he does not go to the company today, he must still have a lot of work to deal with. He doesn't talk a lot, and occasionally "um" or "okay". The sentence with the most words is "I'll talk about it when I get back".The voice couldn't hear the emotions clearly, without any ups and downs, and without any nonsense, it belonged to his style, Zhou Bo's new style, he didn't open his mouth when he could convey it with actions, and didn't say two words when he could finish it with one word.

I lost my mind while listening, and by the time I realized he had hung up the phone, I didn't stop the car and hit his back with my nose.

Zhou Boxin turned his head and glanced at me. I always felt that he wanted to touch me, touch my face or hold my hand, but he forcibly held back.

I just went crazy, I just saw a video of him kissing me, and now watching him feels different everywhere.

I really want to hug him, grass, grass, grass.

Grass.

I raised my hand and rubbed my nose, my eyes were almost red, and I suddenly remembered the plane ticket. He didn’t even bring the driver with him to Lishuiyuan, so he drove the car back to the company and asked the driver to take it to the airport. He must have thought that I didn’t coming.I hesitated for a while, and said the first sentence of the day, "Brother, have you bought my ticket yet?"

He didn't speak, and I was a little anxious, "Do you think I won't come...you can't buy my ticket! How can I go..."

Then I watched him type out two tickets.I looked at his hands pinching two tickets, did he think I wasn't coming or did he buy two tickets?

I don't speak anymore.

Keep your mouth shut until you get off the plane, he is very annoying today, I can see that.From the moment he saw me at the gate of Lishuiyuan, he became annoyed. He smoked several cigarettes before calling the driver. The car drove like he was rushing to reincarnate. He was standing downstairs in the company like Lord Yama. The driver saw him Terrified half to death, he bowed again and again and said that he came down late.

I vaguely know why he is annoying, but I can't explain clearly.

In short, it's definitely not because he doesn't want me to follow, I know, he needs me, especially today.

Luxiang is a small place that cannot be smaller, with mountains, trees, and water.

When I came here for the first time at the age of 16, I didn’t know what this place was. I was so ignorant that I wore thick and hard boots, climbed up the mountain to Zhou Qingluo’s grave and then walked down. At night, I got several blisters on my feet.

This small town in Luxiang seems to look the same every year. With the development of tourism in Maicheng, there are more and more high-rise buildings. You can feel that time is really moving forward, but time in Luxiang seems to be stagnant.I don’t know how many years the trees on the street have grown. If it’s summer, it must be beautiful. The trees in towns have a completely different temperament from the greenery in big cities. The trees in Maicheng seem to be exquisite but dull ornaments. And the trees in Luxiang are residents of Luxiang.

The shops on the street are the same as when I first came two years ago, with holes and faded signs, walls painted with lime, and pits and holes.Children on the street ran over in groups. When they saw a car coming from outside, they squatted down to observe for a while who got out of the car.

There is still a distance from the entrance of the town to my brother's old house. We took a shabby taxi with a starting price of five yuan.

The starting price of taxis in Maicheng is [-] or [-] yuan this year!The most important thing is that it was five yuan two years ago, and it is still five yuan now.The seat covers on the seats were already black, glossy, and had been worn down by so many people's buttocks into their current appearance.This is the third time I've been here, and I may be able to sit on it without changing my face, and I will also contribute to making it out of the pan.

I don't quite understand what the driver said. Some dialects in the south sound like birdsong to northerners.Zhou Boxin must be able to understand, but he tilted his head to look out of the window and didn't answer the driver's words, so I had to apologize and answer indiscriminately with "hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm" when he refused to answer the driver's words.

The two of us actually had a miraculous conversation. I was next to Zhou Boxin, and I seemed to feel his tense nerves slowly relax in the incongruous but still enthusiastic conversation between me and the driver.The driver glanced at the two of us in the rearview mirror. I guess he couldn't see Zhou Boxin's full face, only the jawline that was so cruel and inhuman, and then he spoke again.

I didn’t understand again, I only heard a questioning tone. I guess it must be asking if we are coming back to visit relatives. After all, Luxiang is not a tourist attraction, and Zhou Boxin and I don’t have the temperament of people here, so we are a little Embarrassedly pretending to understand, "Ah...haha, yes."

Zhou Boxin turned his head suddenly, met the driver's gaze in the rearview mirror, and said in a cold voice, "No."

My brother seems to be a different person in Luxiang. Although he still doesn't speak, he always feels more depressed than when he was in Maicheng.

When I came to Luxiang with him two years ago, my own nerves were too tense, and I had no time to observe him.At that time, I still firmly believed that I had committed a heinous crime, and that the tomb of Zhou Qingluo was located on the mountain, so how could I be so careless.But today all my attention is almost on my brother, I found that Song Yiwei is really a bit of a god, what she said seems to be right, she said that my brother is making sexual hints to me, she said that my brother is a depressed people.

I always thought that Zhou Boxin had only one state, the sense of alienation that regards everything as dust, but today he is different.It seems that he would be in a daze occasionally, and when he handed me water, he would touch my hand without hesitation, and he would frown when a car drove past on the street and raised dust.

It was as if I was so depressed that I no longer had the energy to pretend to be alienated and indifferent, and my whole sense of boundaries suddenly disappeared.

It wasn't until he stood in front of Zhou Qingluo's grave and lit a cigarette that the irritability and struggle that had been tightly suppressed on his body seemed to explode suddenly, and with that spark, he detonated it.Others bought a lot of things for worship, such as fruits, paper money wreaths and so on. Zhou Boxin never brought anything. He stood quietly looking at the three characters "Zhou Qingluo" on the stone tablet, with his head down, and the mountains and plains were all on him. alone.

The soot was blown off by the wind and landed on his black sports coat, leaving white marks.

He has always "worshiped" like this, at least the few times I came here, he didn't kneel or cry, he just stood.

The two of us obviously didn't move, and we kept a distance of about two or three meters. I didn't get too close, but I felt that my brother was getting farther and farther away from me.He stood for longer this year than in the previous two years. I don't know how much time has passed. Anyway, I was about to pass out. He turned around suddenly, "Let's go."

The setting sun was hanging behind the mountain, and it was already late after going down the mountain. The town became lively, and every household opened their doors to cook. Walking at the entrance of the alley, you can smell what the whole street is eating at night.I really like this kind of atmosphere. Lishui Garden is really like a coffin. Neighbors will never disturb each other. If there is such a neighborhood in the world besides Lishui Garden, it must be a cemetery.

I followed Zhou Boxin. People in the township seemed to have no concept of smoking in public places. Everyone knew each other. There was no such thing as a "public place" at all. You can see cigarettes or cigarette butts in the street everywhere. man.I followed the Romans very quickly, just now my brother smoked half a pack in front of Zhou Qingluo's tomb, I thought it was not easy for me to smoke at that time, so I endured it.Now I finally don't have to bear it anymore, I took out the cigarette case neatly in my pocket, put it in my mouth, and lit it.

Zhou Boxin walked more and more slowly, I looked at him, I really endured it for a whole day, if I hold it back, I will go crazy.

When we turned into the alley, leaving the bustling street behind, I casually pressed the cigarette in my hand against the mottled wall, and put the cigarette butt directly into my pocket.I went up and grabbed Zhou Boxin's wrist. The old house was in front of me, and I was only a few steps away. I dragged him forward. I didn't know where I got such strength, and I didn't know where I got such courage. Go up the stairs and unscrew the door.

The light in the room was very dark, and the sun was about to disappear completely, and the curtains of the old house were closed tightly, with only a small gap showing a little bit of light.

I can't see him, and he can't see me, which is fine.

I admit that I was still a little nervous, and my breathing was a little unsteady, so I subconsciously licked my dry lips and asked him.

"When I came... did the driver ask in the last sentence, are you my brother?"

Zhou Boxin didn't lose his temper when he was dragged by me all the way, but instead of answering my question, he reached out and touched my face, his deep voice was right next to my ear, "Did you see the surveillance?"

Sure enough, he knew it, and I didn't want to lie to him, so I admitted, "I saw it."

And he actually laughed, "Do you think you've caught me?" The hand touching my face changed to pinching my chin, not intending to kiss me.My breathing was not smooth because of his fingers, and I raised my head and heard him continue to say with difficulty, "Your psychiatrist is right, I have violent tendencies, Chen Li, don't ask for trouble."

My eyes turned red in an instant, and I really wanted to scold him.Zhou Boxin, you are fucking sick, he thinks I can believe that he hates me after seeing those?He thinks I can be scared by him after seeing those?Of course I knew he was violent, masochistic, sloppy.I finally know why he can be so cruel to me. This psycho is even more cruel to himself, but he is already much gentler to me.

I broke free from his grasp, grabbed the backpack that I threw on the bed in the afternoon, and unzipped it with a "swish".Both Zhou Boxin and I were breathing heavily, but the sharp noise was not harsh. I grabbed something and stuffed it into his hand, and the next moment I heard his breathing was unsteady, as if I had ignited some terrible secret. Desire, even heard the sound of molar grinding.

His hands trembled a little, he touched my face and scolded me, "...You must be fucking sick."

In fact, I was so nervous that my legs were trembling, I just leaned my head up to kiss his lips stubbornly, and when my right hand was hanging down helplessly, I accidentally touched the edge of the belt I stuffed into his hand, it was hard and cold.I put my lips together with him, slurring my words, "I have it, do you have it?"

At this moment, I allow him to be a judge, he can control my life and death, I trust him.

Zhou Boxin held my face, which was rare and never happened before. He kissed my lips when I was awake, and then said in a soft and hoarse voice, "Turn around and kneel down, and put your hands on the bed."

(…………)

This may be the first time in my life that I said "I am afraid of pain".

If Song Yiwei knew that I took this step, she would be very happy. If she asked me what prompted me to cross this psychological hurdle, I would definitely say, thank you Zhou Boxin. If I don’t say this, I’m really afraid that I will die in his bed .

The author says:

I know you guys are waiting, so I posted it early after I finished writing it. It will be around eleven o’clock tomorrow. It won’t be so early (.

This chapter has been deleted, so I can't see it now, sorry!