Like Love But Not

In a trance, I seem to feel... right now I should lie down obediently?

Is this what you mean?

Right now I really don't dare to do anything to him, although everything has been smoother than expected after entering the house, but it is hard to guarantee that he won't feel that I am taking advantage of others' danger after he wakes up, and it is safe to lie down obediently, even if he is physically injured Sin - what's so scary?It's better to suffer more, and if you can't get out of bed tomorrow, you can hang on.

I think so, but it's not like this when I actually do it.My body was shaking, shaking uncontrollably, even if the opponent was Xiao Heng, even if I felt his movements were very gentle, I was still very hopelessly scared.I don't know what he was thinking when he hugged me, whether he knew what he was doing, and how he was behaving. These kinds of worries were intertwined and my heart was empty.

What's more, there are always lingering thoughts flashing in my mind: He has never been such a proactive person, who did he learn from?What happened between him and Lu Weixi?I don’t know if I have a problem or the psychological gap between the top and the bottom is really so big. The feeling of pain goes straight to my mind. I suddenly feel that I am pitiful and insignificant. I can’t hear him call my name, call me He didn't get a response either, and the bitterness began to spread.

We rubbed to the edge of the bed, and my hand hung down from the edge of the bed, and I touched something soft, fluffy and familiar to the touch.Because I used to hold that thing for several days in fear of losing the most important person in my life, which was particularly impressive.

He still had it, it just fell under the bed, the big flannel dog.

He has been remembering me these days.

I smiled, closed my eyes, and indulged in peace of mind.

When I woke up the next day, it was already noon, with back pain and leg cramps in the actual sense, the sun was shining on the sheets from the window, and the sky was calm and clear.

I fished the velvet dog up from under the bed, it was still the same silly, but it made me feel very cute.Get out of bed, move out of the room, the person I'm looking for doesn't seem to have been up for long, and is making breakfast.

"Are you awake?" He was much more shy than me, who was thick-skinned in this kind of thing, and when he saw me, he was completely stiff.

"Well, it smells so good." Standing like this and not leaving, at least I will entertain me for breakfast and lunch.

"Go and pour it yourself." He pointed to the freshly boiled milk and handed it to me, and immediately snatched it back: "Let me do it, I always feel that you must burn yourself."

nice.I said.

"Don't you have anything to say? About last night?" I kept staring at him, and he finally opened his mouth after eating.I thought about it, and it seemed necessary to clarify: "That...you may not remember, but you took the initiative to treat me last night..."

His face was flushed, obviously I guessed the wrong direction of the conversation.

But he just blushed, not as excited and angry as yesterday, and the atmosphere now is unexpectedly good.If I don't catch him, if I'm kicked out of this door by him again, I'll be the biggest fool in the world.

"Xiao Heng." I stood up on the table and leaned my whole body to his side. Instead of hiding, he put the back of his hand against my forehead: "Well, that's great. You had a low fever last night, and now it's gone. Return."

……These are just minor obstacles.Why am I still dawdling.Grandma's, the middle table is in the way.

"Xiao Heng, I think you may have misunderstood me, I know you are angry with me, but listen to me first," I said in a low voice, and took his hand and quietly walked around the table and sat beside him: "I didn't leave this year on purpose, it was Fang Shuyi who asked me to leave."

Unexpectedly, he glanced at me and said lightly: "I know. If you stay, he will bring all the things you left behind to me."

Then I remembered the big dog, yes, everything is in his hands.I immediately clutched him tightly, scared, scared that he just simply didn't want me anymore.

"I'm sorry." He suddenly turned his head and said sorry to me.

My mind buzzed, I had a bad feeling, I didn't want to hear what he had to say next.What could be based on these three words, a showdown, a breakup, or the set of "just pretend that the past never happened"?Anyway...

"I'm sorry, I was too impulsive yesterday. In fact, even if Fang Shuyi didn't say anything when he gave me something, I can roughly guess that there is something wrong. Because you are not a person who will leave without saying goodbye."

Yes, it was he who would leave without saying goodbye, not me.Even if there have been such ten years, I have never had such a thing.

"I'm just... angry, why did you leave when he let you go," he said with his head down, "in that case, what am I? I just believed that you really love me and wanted to When I accepted you again, I found that you would be willing to leave me because you felt owed, and then I could only wait. I can wait, anyway, I am used to it, but I don’t know when you will come back, I don’t know whether I should I should go to you, do you think this life will be easy?"

"Don't show that expression." He pinched my face and smiled gently: "Anyway, everything is over, you are back, and I... have vented unreasonably, so stop hurting each other. I can feel your heart. I can distinguish clearly whether you can pretend or not. I also know that you are so stupid that you can’t say what I want to hear. So I ask you now, do you want to stay and be with me again? Together, always together?"

"You just need to nod, it's such a simple thing. Anyway... Anyway, I've been here for so many years, and the only thing I want is this."

He stopped looking at me, looked at the ground and waited for my answer, as if I could be stupid enough to say no now.

I hugged him and wrapped him in my arms. I was nodding, desperately, but the scene in front of me was blurry, and something was dripping down my cheeks.I felt that I was too worthless, so I bit my lips to keep silent, but if I kept hugging him tightly like this, he couldn't see me nodding at all, so it was very contradictory.

"Stupid." He leaned against my arms and seemed to laugh softly.

In this way, I can really stay by his side again.The first few days were very uneasy, and he was very cautious in everything he did, so he smiled, with a little helplessness and connivance that I like, and said: "What's the matter, we have only been separated for a year or two, how did we live together in the previous ten years?" Just forget?"

It's not that I forgot, it's just that I can't possibly still have the arrogant attitude of ten years ago.I had to be conscious, very, very conscious, in order for him to brush me off without regretting it.

I started to learn to cook and do all kinds of housework. Of course, the results were not satisfactory at the beginning. Xiao Heng was not angry when he saw the mess I made, but it was inevitable to make fun of me.