Like Love But Not

When I woke up, it was not surprising that I was in the hospital with salt water... Isn't it already in the hospital, why is it still hurting and depressed.

"That...the person who brought me here..." I stopped the passing doctor. The doctor was very busy and not very patient: "I went downstairs before, so I should have left."

Really... I'm already like this, so I'm willing to leave?Too much, too much, too much... I was thinking about it in my heart, but he miraculously appeared at the door and frowned slightly: "Are you awake?" His expression was very cold and his attitude was very reluctant, but I was still very moved, after all, he still did not give up. Get off me.

"Xiao Heng, where have you been?"

"I'll go and pay for you," he replied lightly, paused for a moment, suddenly thought about being too pleasant to me again, and his expression became serious again: "Hey, how many times have I told you that your stomach needs three meals a day?" Eat on time and take good care of it? It’s fine if you don’t listen, can you stop coming in front of me and ruining it deliberately? Luo Yuchen, I don’t know what you want, but can I ask you..."

"Xiao Heng..." I interrupted and held out a hand to him.

He was indifferent: "what do you want?"

"I love you."

What is this, I feel that my brain must be broken.Before, when I was dying on the street, I would hesitate to say it after thinking about it, but now, in a small nearby hospital, I said it without romance or even thoughtlessness.But I'm serious, I hold out my hand like a puppy begging for mercy, but I also know it's a bit of a fantasy.

I still didn't expect, didn't expect him to have such a big reaction.He went from being surprised, to stunned, and then to extremely hurt and angry. At that moment, I knew that I had done something wrong again.That's something I've never said, or even touched the bottom line. Even if I don't say it all my life, it definitely shouldn't be so casual.

But I didn't have a casual attitude, I just saw that he didn't leave, I was so thankful and grateful, and I couldn't help it when the overflowing flow came to fruition at that moment.

Really just can't help it.

"I...I love you..." I repeated it again, my voice was trembling, I didn't dare to laugh anymore, while I looked at him deeply, I reached out and secretly pulled out the infusion tube, if he turns around now Just go, I jumped out of bed to chase, the misunderstanding and hurt are deep enough, I can't allow more, even just a little bit.

He didn't leave, and it can even be said that he suppressed his emotions quite well. He opened his mouth slowly, sighed and said, "If you stayed by my side at that time, I would have believed you. Luo Yuchen, do you know , How uncomfortable is radiotherapy? But having you by my side is like saving me. Seeing you smiling at me outside the glass window, and seeing you falling asleep on a chair because you are so tired, I can't help being grateful, no There is no way to be moved."

"Didn't I tell you that even if you don't have to do this, I will be strong. Why do you still insist on staying by my side and coaxing me until the operation is over? Although I survived, thank you very much...but I clearly said no I need your sympathy, but you still took pity on me in the cruelest way, Luo Yuchen, do you really think that this is for my own good, do you really think that I will not hurt?"

He said and wept.

I rushed forward and hugged him, knowing that I was continuing to make mistakes, he struggled, and I pressed him hard.He couldn't beat me, because this time he was just venting, and I was desperate to hold him, and I fell to the floor together.

I can't let you escape anymore, I can't let me escape anymore, that's enough, don't let it go, just hold it tight and never let it go again.

He is in my arms, so real, suffocating that I feel that I have enough strength and temperature to protect him from getting hurt again.I love you, I didn't leave without saying goodbye!I told him myself.But I feel that he knows him, he actually knows that there is something wrong, he clearly knows what Fang Shuyi is hiding, but he doesn't check it out, just torturing himself like this!

Torture yourself because you can't believe it.Because I'm not firm enough or strong enough to make him feel at ease to trust me and this relationship.

That night I went back to where he lives now with him.

Originally, I wanted to drag him home, and even thought about carrying him home even if I passed out, but my strength was too strong. He kept looking at me with a gloomy face, clearly resisting me, but I had already passed out. Made up his mind, he held on to one of his arms and followed him all the way to the door.

Of course it was impossible for him to let me in, but I just didn't want to let me go. He had no choice but to sit by the door and stop going in. He stared at the ground and didn't speak.It's December weather.Although we were not sitting on the street, the corridor of this single-family house was also very cold. I took off my coat and put it on him. He was indifferent and just sat and watched me suffer from the cold.

The cold is really uncomfortable, my hands and feet are shaking, and the doctor said that I should stay in the hospital for two days, but I just ran out, and now my stomach is also aching.At this moment, he stood up suddenly, and my hand that was holding him before was empty, and a dazzling light came, he had already opened the door, threw my coat back on me, and walked in.

The door was not closed, but he didn't say whether he would let me in or not. After a pause, there was the sound of a shower, and then there were only some slight movements, and then everything was silent.

I dawdled for a while, then stood up and gently opened the door. The warmth of the two worlds inside and outside the door made me shiver.I thought he had already fallen asleep, but I didn’t expect that in the dark nearby, he was wearing a bathrobe and sitting on a chair in the corner drinking water. There were still some wet drops on his chest protruding from the robe. I swallowed my saliva.He seemed to realize it too, and threw me a bath towel with a fierce attitude, and went to the bedroom without saying anything else.

I rinsed it hastily, changed into the bathrobe in the bathroom closet, and probed into the bedroom. He actually covered a thin sheet and fell asleep just like that. The belt of the bathrobe had already been undone. The slender legs were unobstructed, and he clearly knew that he wasn't trying to seduce me, but, since he let me in, he shouldn't be so defenseless, it was very different from the indifference before.

When I approached him, he seemed to be in a daze of sleep. When I woke him up, he opened his eyes slightly and seemed to be smiling.I was pleasantly surprised and a little confused, but he grabbed my bathrobe and kissed me with my clothes on. The smell of alcohol made me understand instantly that he was not You're drinking water, but you're pouring wine!

Why?I do not understand.Was he purely down, or did he have to be drunk to make something happen?For example, tearing off my bathrobe and kissing my head like this is not something he can do when he is sober. I am overwhelmed but dare not distract myself at the same time. I try to think about what he does. What, is it through the catalysis of alcohol to have the courage to try to forgive me again, or is it only when you are unconscious that you can forget all the past and accept me again?