Like Love But Not

I gasped for breath, and saw the surprised expression on Fang Shuyi's face, and immediately relieved my hatred.I never expected him to smile sinisterly again, patted my shoulder and said, "That's right, I want to give you a new look."

This sentence is really indistinguishable, I don’t know what the fox’s intentions are, I can only watch him leave, and then realize that it’s midnight, who is he who doesn’t sleep at this time.

I didn't feel like lying down in this hospital, so I took a taxi and went home to take a shower and change clothes.Today, Tianming can only look at him from the glass window. I was really not prepared for this, but he is very strong, so what qualifications do I not have to force my aura.

Do you want to continue to annoy him?Even if he doesn't love me anymore, even if he doesn't intend to forgive me.Maybe if I choose to let go, can he be happier than now, than in the past?So, should I follow his example and try to be selfless at least once?

I took the big flannel dog that was said to be very similar to me. Before washing the marrow, Xiao Heng looked at me holding that thing and tilted his head and smiled.I'm satisfied, it's right to bring it, it's good enough to make him laugh.I still can't just let go, I can't be so lenient, I went to the kind nurse and asked for white paper and crayons, drew a big love heart in red and wrote "LOVEYA", I wanted to wait for him to come out Stick it on the glass for him to see.

This is really not something I can do, maybe it is true... I don't understand what kind of tenderness he wants, so I can only learn from what he used to be and imitate what he might have done in the past .

All day long, I was excited and uneasy because of that blank piece of paper. I didn’t even think about what it would be like to see him through the glass again, so when I saw him, my heart was like being cut by a knife. Opened, so painful that I couldn't help myself.

Xiao Heng was lying on the hospital bed as if he was dying, his lips were white, and there were black shadows under his eyes. He seemed to be awake, but also seemed to be in a coma, and the light in his slightly opened eyes was completely lost.He was fine yesterday, he was still alive and arguing with me yesterday, but he turned into this in one day. I took two steps back, squatted against the wall behind me, and buried my head in the toy in my hand. In the plush, tears flowed sideways.

Why... make him suffer like this.I'm terrified, terrified, terrified.I thought he wouldn't die, but now I'm not sure, I'm afraid, I'm afraid, I'm afraid...

"Sir, the dose of drugs used in the first chemotherapy is very high, which is already a good response." The doctor passing by saw me like this and came to persuade me, but I just buried my head in useless tears, and there was no way to stop.

Who came and went in the middle, and what happened around, I didn't know.Anyway, I was in a daze and sat in the corner until late at night, but no one came to chase me away. Suddenly I saw Xiao Heng move, and quickly stuck to the front of the glass wall.

He was more awake than before, but his face didn't look good at all. When he saw me, he smiled hard. I almost cried again. I endured it, took out the piece of paper from my body, and slapped it on the glass wall vigorously. .

He looked at the words with difficulty and tried hard to identify them, but they were still too small and too far away.In a hurry, I took out the crayons from my pocket, but the glass couldn’t be colored at all. I turned my head and saw that there was half a pack of red medicine in the medical waste basket. I didn’t know what it was, so I picked it up and poured it on the glass. Draw a giant heart shape.

I don't think I've ever been this romantic in my life.The things drawn with the potion quickly flowed down the glass, making a bloody heart look like a murder scene, but I looked at my masterpiece very proudly, and I saw Xiao Heng in it also Looked at the heart, smiled, and tears flowed from the corners of his eyes.

The next day, of course, I would be severely scolded by the hospital staff, and... judging by the expressions of those little nurses who knew me, this matter might be reported in the newspapers.I didn't care, but Fang Shuyi smiled strangely while watching the hospital cleaner cleaning the glass.

Every night after that, I stayed with him like this.In the dead of night, candles are lit through a layer of glass, and there is the most reassuring existence in the world just across the wall.I actually sleep less than three hours a night, and I want him to be the first to see me when he opens his eyes.

That's all I can do for him right now.

Day by day, he was on and off during the course of the medication, sometimes he was awake all day, and sometimes he slept for a day or two, and I too was in the dark, in fear and anticipation, and finally On the day of surgery.

Although he is weak, he is not as critical as he was during the first chemotherapy. On the way from the sterile ward to the operating room, I followed him closely. He was calling my name in a very weak voice. What, there is fog rising from the oxygen mask, but I can't hear it.But I can see his smile, he is smiling at me, his smile is gentle and touching, as if he is very happy.

What is he muttering with such a happy expression, what could it be about me?

I don't know, I think he is still promising me that he will survive... Or, he is telling me with a smile that even in a world where he doesn't exist, he hopes that I can be well?

I said I wouldn't cry, but...

I was sitting outside the operating room with my head down, Fang Shuyi stood in front of me at some point, with an expression very similar to Huang Shiren looking at Yang Bailao. "Aren't you kidding? At least wait until the operation is over!" I stood up, wondering if this guy had any humanity.

"I found the most advanced expert team from Germany, so you don't have to worry too much about the result of the operation." He leaned against the wall next to him, not afraid of getting his expensive clothes dirty: "I'm here to tell you , before the operation, Xiaoheng asked me to bring you a message, saying that you are free, and you can get out no matter what the result is."

"Freedom ass, don't you just turn black and white here!"

"Yeah, Xiao Heng really said that, although I added 'you can get out'." As he said that, the damn fox took a letter from his arms and gave it to me.I knew it couldn't be a good thing, so if I didn't pick it up, he started to read it to me!After reading a few sentences, I realized that Xiao Heng was right, but what he said was all nonsense, such as I am free, and maybe it would be better to separate for a while, the words were so euphemistic, and they all sounded so fake.

Alas, the result still has to drive me away.He...has already made up his mind.

This feeling of being put on death reprieve... so fucking bad.

I really don't want to separate, and he seems to really want me to go, should I go or stay?He should still accept me, because I can still make him feel bad, or make him care, but who knows if it's just his soft heart or his habit?But if I leave...can I come back?

I was always by his side, never left, and made it impossible for him to escape every day.gone?What if I was forgotten?

At this time, Fox Fang actually changed his temper. He patted me reassuringly and persuaded him, "Maybe you should listen to Xiao Heng once. Think about it carefully. After all, you have had more than half a year to figure out what you want." , but Xiaoheng has been haunted by you since he woke up. Just give him a little time, for example...a year, let him figure out what he wants, isn't it good? "

Not good...a long time.I know I'm cheap, the previous ten years have been wasted, but...

"What are you afraid of? You know that Xiao Heng is not such a person who changes his mind easily. What's more...if he really changes, you can only accept what you have done before?" Fang Shuiyi looked at me hesitantly. Just smiled: "Give him some time to test you, so that when you come back, he will believe in your heart again."

I think he seems to have a point this time.I think I really need time to prove something. One year is already very short. After all, he spent ten times as long to prove that relationship. It is not long to ask me for one year.

I am obliged to give him this time.

"If you reflect well this year, and Xiao Heng has figured it out, I can discuss it with the boss of FA and get the contract back for you. Then pretend it never happened." Fang Shuyi tilted his head and continued to seduce with words I, said again: "Don't worry, I will definitely take good care of Xiao Heng. And I have a sentence that needs to be revised, what is the love brother plot, I am a little overprotective of my family, but you are not going to come to eat My flying vinegar."

It's a love brother at all, I swear in my heart.However, regardless of the previous convictions of threats and murders, Fang Shuyi finally revealed his rare and kind side at this time.