Like Love But Not

I choked when he said that, it was so unlike him in normal times.Premonitioning that his unusual calmness and straightforwardness would directly lead to a difficult conversation, I first tried to change the subject and asked, "Where are you going? Back to the hospital?"

"Yes." He stretched out his hand to hail a taxi as he spoke. I hurriedly stopped in front and apologized to the driver with an apologetic smile. Then he put his hands in his pockets with a dissatisfied expression. He frowned slightly and asked, "Is there anything else?"

"That...that of Xia Mingxiu just now, it's not what you think, it's just..."

"Mr. Luo Yuchen, I'm not interested in your private life." He interrupted me, paused for a moment and suddenly reached out to snatch the flannel dog back from my hand and said, "Really... it's a waste to give you things."

The first half of his sentence stabbed me solidly, which was very uncomfortable, but before I recovered from the blow, his subsequent sentence made me feel relieved as if I was angry, and I even asked Come out: "Xiao Heng, aren't you jealous?"

He immediately threw the dog back in my face, and when I caught it in my hand, Xiao Heng had already walked several meters away, and said as he walked, "I shouldn't have come to talk nonsense with you."

"Hey, Xiao Heng!" I really hated myself for always losing the chain at critical moments. After chasing after me, he quickened his pace and deliberately wanted to get rid of me. I had no choice but to run up to grab his wrist, but he still He didn't yell at me, but his eyes already had a warning of loss of patience, and he asked me again: "What else do you have?"

"What's my business? I should ask you what's your business on your special trip, right?" Through his slightly narrowed eyes, I suddenly realized that my voice was getting louder, and immediately softened and said helplessly. : "Uh... Since you are here, don't rush to leave, why don't you go home with me and sit down..."

"Don't bother me. I'm rushing back to the hospital. After all, I came out secretly. It's hard to be found out." He pursed his lips, and said with a rare smile: "Go back, no need delivered."

"Wait!...Well, after all, it's been a long time." I grabbed him again, and he looked back at me with an innocent look of doubt, as if everything had nothing to do with him being a passerby.Although I was afraid of saying the wrong thing again and didn't dare to argue with him, I was really angry in my heart.He clearly knows what I want to explain, he clearly knows that I want to reconcile with him, he may even know that the scene of Xia Mingxiu walking out of the house just now was a misunderstanding, but he deliberately misunderstands it and takes it seriously.

I'm not a patient person. He can vent or even take revenge on my dissatisfaction with my past actions. I don't care.But I didn't expect that this person could seal everything without saying a word, and this feeling was like carrying a silent time bomb on his body. On the contrary, it was a greater torture than anything else.

"Follow me home." Under this kind of irritating pressure, my thinking will be less disturbed. I dragged him back, not to ask him to see the uncleaned-up alcohol-smelling house with his own eyes. Clear him of his deliberate misunderstanding, but now I'm going to bring him home.

Humans are strange creatures. For a while, self-loathing makes me feel that this person is really worthless and I should be struck by lightning. At the same time, my self-confidence swells and I feel that the guy in my hand is mine. Why can’t I catch him and go home Raise well!

"Luo Yuchen, why should I go home with you?" He was not in the slightest embarrassment when I dragged him away, but asked me calmly as if he was at a negotiating table.I am even more upset, my Xiao Heng is not like this, he may be able to be so calm and composed when facing others, but he should never be like this when facing me.If I were to say that I am no different from anyone else to him now, I would not admit it to death.

"It's not just my home, it's your home, it's our home!"

"Oh, is it?" As expected, he was not moved at all, but thought I was ridiculous.But I didn't expect him to ask coldly after he finished laughing: "Didn't you forget? You took the key when you kicked me out. From that moment on, this is not my home, never again."

I took his key?I don't remember this incident, but... it must have happened, you can tell by his expression.It's obvious that bringing up old things has opened up his wounds, and it's no wonder he won't forgive so much hurt that has accumulated in details that I don't even remember.

One sentence is no longer, it is so unique that it is chilling, but I have nothing to say.

We froze at the corner of the road, and he lowered his head with an indifferent smile on his bleak expression, and when he looked up again, there was nothing. I was thinking about what to do next, when he suddenly said: "Actually, your The new album is good, and I was really moved when I listened to it.”

I froze for a moment, just when I had a reaction and remembered the love songs I sang over and over again under the pressure of crazy thoughts and contradictions, he interrupted me to surface a little bit The extravagant hope told me: "Luo Yuchen, I admit that I was still foolishly ignoring the lessons learned on the way here, and wanted to see if it was possible to start again like you said. I was really useless, because those few songs Song almost made a fool again in his life. In the end, you really didn't disappoint me."

"Xiao Heng!" I explained anxiously: "We drank all night, but I can swear nothing happened. He just came to say goodbye. You know it in your heart. Don't ask me to explain it on purpose. It's such a big injustice. I can't afford it."

He sneered and said sarcastically: "It seems that in your heart I have always been a very vexatious person."

I don't know how he suddenly jumped to such a conclusion. Before, my heart followed him up and down every sentence, and I couldn't figure it out. Now I am trying to remember and search for where I said something wrong again.I'm really afraid of him, maybe I've never had the upper hand in my life, so it's really challenging my nerves to care about and accommodate a person like this.

I looked at him nervously, and when he opened his mouth, what he said was "I have no position to doubt what happened between you and him, and I have no right to interfere. You don't have to explain this to me, I won't I’m so bored that I ‘deliberately’ misunderstood you.” This seemingly clarified or comforted me but was actually hurtful. I tugged on his sleeve, and he seemed to stop unbearably: “Luo Yuchen, I said This is not what you think it means."

I looked down at the cuff buttons of his shirt and said nothing, he paused for a moment, sighed and said helplessly: "I know you don't want to hear this, maybe you won't be able to accept what I have to say for a while, but I still want to tell you Some things, it’s not that I want to know what you did when I fell asleep, but that the person who was at your house just now thought you were worthless and pitiful, so he made a special trip to tell me one by one, forcing Watch me watch those videos he downloaded."

"I think he is too kind or stupid, and so are you who mistook guilt for love. Luo Yuchen, I'm really fine. I will be sad to lose you, but I will live a good life. You don't need do anything for me."

He spoke slowly, as if trying to hypnotize my heart.I'm almost driven crazy by his stubbornness, why is he suspicious?He doesn't know me well enough?After so many years by my side, how could he not know that although Luo Yuchen's reaction was a little slow, he was a little bit late, but he always liked it or liked it or didn't like it or didn't like it. I really had a hard time with him, but when did I lie to him?

"What do I have to do to make you believe me, to believe me?" I asked him, thinking that I had asked the most idiotic line I despise when watching TV dramas. If he could give me that almost impossible line at this time The condition is that I have no choice but to do a superman for him to make the impossible possible, but he shook his head, so I can only ask him stupidly in despair: "Why?"

At least give me a convincing reason to shoot me to death again. Since he woke up again, he has been relentlessly resisting with a friendly and kind attitude like this, which makes me feel very sad every time. There is hope that I will be disappointed again and again, Luo Yuchen will be finished by him within a few times if this continues, even if he hates me now, I hope he will say it straight, killing with one knife is better than cutting it into ten thousand pieces.