Like Love But Not

It wasn't until I was awakened by the clerk that I suddenly realized that the thing was unique.That's right, Xiao Heng has always put his heart into the things that he brought to me. Uniqueness is inevitable. If you lose it, you will lose it. You can't find an identical one.

This thought irritated my nerves violently and made me uneasy.Ever since I lost that earring, it was as if an invisible thread had been cut somewhere, and the crystal net that was fragilely held by it collapsed.Xiao Heng should have seen it, but he didn't stand up and try his best to repair it like before, but chose to stand by and watch.Could it be that even his heart, which he felt was riddled with holes after being repaired, has been trampled by me to the point where he can't go back to what it used to be.

So now that my clumsy feelings are exposed, and I am wholeheartedly waiting for him to come back, is it not worth mentioning for him to degenerate into a fake?

If you lose it, it will be gone, and you will never see it again?I don't believe it, I don't admit it.Isn't it just that lake, I dug three feet and drowned in it, I don't believe that I can't dig it out and get it back!

When I drove to the company, my blood was boiling, as if I was about to accomplish something great.It's a sarcastic contrast to the fact that I'm just an arrogant idiot paying for the stupid things I've done so childishly that I want to cry.

The surface of the artificial lake is sparkling, and I have already forgotten which window I left the precious cross in, so I can only look for it slowly under the water.

In a life without Xiao Heng's protection, everything is against me,

Even the river was so icy that I gritted my teeth and almost wanted to jump ashore. I bent down and touched the mud, and my fingers felt the icy windings of sand and mud floating up. There was only softness everywhere I went, and nothing could stab me hard. Let me be delighted to find that although I paid a price, I still got what I wanted.

I am an impatient person, but I have to search a little bit with anxiety, knowing that if I miss that point, it will be impossible to look back. I would rather spend double the time than wait until I have searched the entire lake and still find it. Can only get nothing.

I know it's silly to do this, the person who believes in miracles and fairy tales has always been Xiao Heng, not me.If someone told me Luo Yuchen a year ago that one day you would be an idiot and touch a small earring in an artificial lake in the middle of the night just to prove that there is such a thing as the so-called sincere heart in this world, I would not even praise him for this joke It's funny, but I will directly despise him with the most pitiful eyes.

Now... I miss Xiao Heng's simple and beautiful outlines with silly crayon lines so much that I don't believe it, but I hope to do some silly things so that I, who is too realistic and vulgar, can be qualified to return To the warm and simple world he opened up for the two of us.

When I was shivering from the cold, I recalled how warm a cup of hot milk is. In fact, a good morning kiss and a familiar breakfast are enough to live my life.Greed too much, complain too much and end up losing everything.

I still can't find anything, it's too cold, my teeth are chattering, I can't feel my feet.Every move in the water tends to be funny, I don't know what I'm standing on, my body is almost uncontrollable like my own, and my legs are even more wobbly as if I'm on stilts.

But my mind is still clear, although there is only one thought that it is too early to give up now, there is such an open lake in front of me, but I can't throw the earring across the other side, maybe I can find it if I persist.

Suddenly my finger touched something hard, it slipped, and I couldn't catch it any more.I straightened up and wanted to adjust my position, but suddenly the world spun, my body suddenly sank, and I fell heavily on my knees, my hands were still in the water trying to grab it, and I was still happy when I was stabbed by something sharp, I always felt that it was almost there , I'm about to find the thing I've been looking for.

But it was already dark in front of my eyes, I couldn't see anything, the coldness flooded my ears, and the pressure of being unable to breathe brought overwhelming fear, I was still reaching out in vain, and my consciousness had already withdrawn.

***

Waking up in the warmth, my heart is beating violently for some reason!After a while, I twitched and felt uncomfortable as if there was no place to put it back, as if it foreshadowed something bad, and I didn't want to open my eyes.

When the familiar silhouette entered through the gap of squinting, I realized that I almost and stupidly missed what I shouldn't miss.

The shoulders are broad, and I am often ridiculed that there is only a skeleton but no flesh. The short hair behind the ears feels soft to the touch, and the side face is still calm and sharp.This person... always makes people love and hate like this, isn't he right in front of me, why is he letting others curse him for being short-lived every day?

I got up and hugged him, the long-lost temperature, the long-lost fulfillment, the long-term worry and entanglement can finally be put aside temporarily, and tears flowed down again.Actually, I really didn't want to cry in front of him, but this guy... this guy completely lost my self-control and calmness.This is my Xiao Heng, who makes people hate it and feel distressed.

I squeezed him, um, luckily he didn't lose too much weight, he wasn't tortured out of shape by the disease, he still had a vicissitudes face with a bit of a sigh in his handsomeness, but why there was so much sadness in his eyes, what did I do wrong? Did it make him sad?

Sure enough, I was still stupid. I wanted to tell a joke to make him look less sad, but I made him cry when I opened my mouth. His eyebrows were twisted and tried to bear it, which made my heart ache. I stretched out my hand to wipe it off. His tears, but what his fingertips touched seemed to be nothingness, and his body became transparent like an illusion, which made me take a breath and shudder.

This kind of scene, if you have not experienced it yourself, you can't imagine it at all.It's worse than never having it, worse than losing it forever.Obviously I have lost it and found it, and I was still by my side last second. I am grateful for the hard work, and I am imagining that there will be a long way in the future that will allow me to slowly learn how to cherish and love a person, just watching the reality The most absurd and unreality appeared, but no matter what, I rushed over and couldn't catch it anymore.

He cried goodbye to me.say goodbye?I don't want to say goodbye.I still owe you happiness, you just left, who do I give it back to?

I don't remember the rest of the scene, I fell into darkness with his disappearance, and when I woke up it was still dark, and the heater in the car was turned on so hot it was annoying.I looked around, the shadows were silent, I looked down at my watch, it was 23:54 on April [-]st.

Black...black jokes.

I stared at the second hand, watching it crawl slowly around and around.Six laps, as long as six years.After midnight, April Fool's Day has passed, why no one applauded, no one bowed the curtain call?It's time to end the joke. What about mine, should he be returned to me?

I jumped out of the car, the cold wind blowing against my face made me shiver.There is a road ahead, but there is no end in sight. I stand, and the surrounding scenery turns again. I can only rely on the cold metal beside me. I think I can find him as long as I stand on the ground, but who can tell me? Edge is the right direction?

I fell back to my seat and looked at the shining starry sky on the giant glass, just watching the brightest constellations form a crooked smiling face, and I was silently mocked by them.

The heater was very hot, and it became difficult to breathe out every time, the eye sockets were dried out, and I couldn't cry when I opened my mouth.

I was finally brutally told to stop kidding myself that he was no longer in this world.

He's gone forever.