Like Love But Not

Like Love But Not by Luo Yuchen

Today, he left.Coming home for the first time in so many years, the house feels empty.

I pushed open his door, and even the quilt was gone.Empty beds and clean bookshelves, it seems that no one has ever lived here.

The ten-year contract is finally over.

Has it been this long?I don't feel much in it, I just feel that ten years should be a long time, but I didn't expect that there will be a day when it will end.

Ever since Xiao Heng said the phrase "The exchange is that you will be my lover for ten years", I knew that everything between me and him was over.

We have met since the first day of junior high school, and we have been classmates for six years. I believe in him so much. As best friends and best teammates, we have walked hand in hand for so long. He actually used such despicable means to ask me to stay by his side.

In fact, it's not that I don't know that he likes me. I have been aware of it since he secretly kissed me in the hotel in the first year of high school, or earlier.Because I didn't want to destroy the brotherhood, I pretended not to know. Who knew that the evil relationship really started when everyone was separated and alienated.

It all started when I fell in love with Xia Mingxiu, and he became Xiao Kai of a big company.

I started singing in college, mostly for money, but I don’t know when this job became a part of my life.At that time, I needed money to help Xia Mingxiu through the difficulties.For his surgery, their family owed 50 yuan in debt, and they were almost cornered. Xia Mingxiu foolishly refused my help. I had no choice but to bring him into the showbiz. He didn't want to use my money. You can make money by yourself.

I have never regretted that I helped Xia Mingxiu, although the price was that I sold myself to Xiao Heng in a disguised form, and since then I have changed from a "lover" to an "underground love" with Xia Mingxiu.It was really sad at first, thinking that Xia Mingxiu hated Xiao Heng very much, but then I gradually got used to it.Later, I found that I could still do whatever I wanted, and I didn't have to follow Xiao Heng's wishes at all, because he was too obsessed with me, so on the surface he won by tying me up, but in fact he lost so badly.

After living together with Xiao Heng, the first time I was with Xia Mingxiu was when I was on the show.In the show, we had to hug each other for the sake of effect, and even made an ambiguous kiss. In fact, it was just a photographic effect, and we didn't really kiss.

One day when I got home, it happened to be on TV. I wanted to explain it, but Xiao Heng smiled, lowered his head and said first: "It's okay." With a snort, he slammed the door and entered the room.

Xiao Heng has always shown a high degree of tolerance, and often thinks he is great.After being with me, Xia Mingxiu was called to play with us during Christmas and New Years.When I saw Xia Mingxiu, how could I still remember him? Occasionally, I saw him with a wry smile, which made me feel a little guilty, but when I thought about it again, I felt weird. If you don’t want to see him, don’t call him. He came, and who would show him a bitter face after inviting him?

So every time he looked at us, I deliberately kept it more ambiguous with Xia Mingxiu, and I also rejected Valentine's Day openly, so that Xiao Heng knew clearly that he could keep my people, but I didn't even think about it in my heart.

My behavior was dissatisfied by many people, including Xiao Heng's brother Fang Shuyi, Xiao Heng's friend LU, and my Xia Mingxiu.

Fang Shuyi and Lu, a short-sighted fox and an idiot foreigner, we always look at each other and hate each other, but Xia Mingxiu, in fact, he is the least qualified to blame me. I did everything for him, but he turned around and blamed me Too cruel to Xiao Heng.

It's always been difficult for us to quarrel, but recently we actually quarreled a few times, each time because of Xiao Heng.When I can't stand him complaining, I will threaten him: "Okay, since you love him so much, why don't I break up with you, and I'll go live with Xiao Heng for the rest of my life."

Xia Mingxiu will shut up obediently at this time, but I won't say such cruel words unless it pushes me into a hurry.

Arguing with Xia Mingxiu is mainly based on reasoning, and you can use Xiao Heng to vent your anger. I can clearly distinguish this point.I'm not so irrational that there is such a Xiao Heng who can be bullied at will, who is not fierce, and vents my anger on the people who are really important to me.

But Xia Mingxiu didn't seem to understand my thoughts very well. We broke up again a week ago because Xiao Heng was finally moving out and I asked him to move in. After he nodded in agreement, he actually said to me: "Luo Yuchen, you Think about it carefully, did you really just let Xiao Heng go?"

I thought his question was quite ridiculous and asked him: "Do you not want to be with me anymore?"

Xia Mingxiu shook his head and said, "I just think...in ten years, maybe you've slowly fallen in love with him, but you haven't noticed it yourself. I've always had this feeling recently, Luo Yuchen, I'll tell you For a week, you should be quiet and think about your own heart."

I was really frightened by what he said at the time, because Xia Mingxiu usually speaks with good reason. When I returned home in a trance, I saw Xiao Heng sitting in the living room with his head buried in his knees and seemed to be crying, so I got angry again. up.

He always acted like he was wronged, but in fact it was me who wanted to cry all the time.How many brothers a person can have in life, but he got us to this point; how many decades can a person have in a lifetime, I was consumed by him the best part of my life, and I didn’t even ask He wants some compensation.

"What are you doing!" I walked up to him and pushed him rudely.

He raised his head, and I couldn't see if he was crying without turning on the light, but his voice was normal, and he asked me: "Luo Yuchen, I'm leaving, will you miss me?"

This question is a typical "Xiao Heng-style fantasy", and it is a question that I will never give an answer. Even so, this person still likes to ask. Similar questions include "Luo Yuchen, if time goes back to high school, stop How nice it is there", "Luo Yuchen, it would be great if it snowed all year round", "If possible, I hope you can care about me a little bit"...these are all neurological problems.

Every time I hear it, I feel uncomfortable all over and want to yell at him: "Stop dreaming!"

Seeing that I didn't answer, he asked again. I wanted to tell him that of course I wouldn't miss him, but this answer was too straightforward, so I said: "Since we won't meet again in the future, I still remember him occasionally." Yes."

"...Okay." Xiao Heng replied, as if he was relieved, he continued to bury his head in his knees and stopped talking.

I don't think he needs to be hypocritical. It's just a joke to say that we will never meet again. We are in the same company and he is my boss. There are many opportunities for unexpected embarrassment in the future.I don't care, anyway, Xiao Heng is unlikely to run on me, if he can't think about it and block me, I will immediately quit the show business circle, so that he can really never find me again.

I saw that he had nothing to say, so I went to take a shower, and just after taking off his clothes, he opened the door and came in.

The light in the bathroom was very dim, and he was quite handsome looking at the way he was holding the door frame in such a dim light.

He was already tall and strong, with distinct facial features and a good temperament.The eyes are not too big, but the shape is slender. When looking at people, it can reflect the mood of the owner. As a peer, the sense of vicissitudes between his brows does not know where it came from, adding a cool masculinity.When he is not in a daze, crazy or pestering, he can actually be regarded as a person with good conditions.

Of course I was not afraid of him watching, and I knew what he was going to do. I smiled, stretched out my arms to hug him, pulled off his tie and unbuttoned his white shirt. He didn't have a lot of chest meat, but recently he lost weight. It's all obvious, but it's not too unsightly. I lowered my head to hold the brown fruit on his chest, and continued to peel off his clothes.

"Ah..." He groaned, his voice was slightly hoarse and seductive, which made my brain a little congested, I thought about what Xia Mingxiu said before, and shook my head, I know that the feelings that burst out when lust is in the lead are very unreliable It's right, let's do it first.

We entered the spacious bathtub together, absurd in the foam.Xiao Heng is not a lewd person, and he rarely asks for sex. I used to hold him away from the bed when I was excited. Today, he took the initiative to come to take a bath with me, which is quite rare.

I immediately wanted to understand why, because there were only a few days between us.When I thought of his sacrificial mood, I was a little bit sullen again, and pushed him against the edge of the bathtub, he screamed a little miserably, as if he was desperately enduring something, and then he wrapped himself around me, tears streaming down my face , I don’t know if it’s painful or cool.

From the bathroom to the living room, we both collapsed on the large and soft white sofa.Recently, Xiao Heng seems to be in a bad mood and gets tired easily. He only did it twice, and he lay beside me half-drowsy with his head down.I didn't want to torment him anymore, so I pulled the blanket over the two of us, and I haven't hugged him to sleep for a long time, once in a while, as a souvenir.