God can see my jokes, see me helplessly watching the one I love hurt, see his heart break but cannot hug him, watch him cry but cannot comfort him, but he cannot let me watch him die.

I have nothing left, all I have left is - I love him.

I could be gone, just one last time, in exchange for being able to touch him one last time.

I yelled into the sky, hoping someone could hear me.I can not enter the six realms of reincarnation, I can exchange all my afterlife, I can choose eternal death in exchange for such a last chance.

Let me touch him one last time.My obsession, my greed, and my love will all come to an end forever this time.

For the first time, God heard my wish.

I feel the coldness of the water, I feel his heavy body and his hair floating in the water, his necklace hooked around my fingers.

I hugged him tightly, the water soaked his clothes and made him very heavy. I dragged him, dragged him to the shore with great effort, and pressed his chest hard to make him spit out the water he drank.

His whole body was as cold as a river in April, his bangs were stuck to his forehead, his breathing was slight, and his lips were trembling.

I kissed him and I slowly breathed into his mouth.This time, God was so merciful that he gave me not only texture, but also warmth.Now I am warmer than him.I held him and pressed his head against my chest, relieved that I could still keep him out of the cold.

I carried him into his car, turned on the heat, and helped him remove his wet clothes.There was a big towel in the trunk, I grabbed it out to help him dry himself, and put his cold hands in mine to keep him warm.

He coughed a few times, woke up leisurely, and saw me.I have nowhere to escape but to be exposed to his gaze.

I know this is wrong, I'm dead, I shouldn't let him see it, not only seems to be alive, but also the temperature.

I shouldn't let him misunderstand anymore, let him think that there is still a chance, and let him continue to be crazy and abnormal in the eyes of people around him.

However, it was too late. Although he had just woken up, his mind was clear.He gritted his teeth hoarsely and said, "Xiao Heng, you really are not dead."

I was at a loss, and didn't know what to say to him, so he rushed forward, actually extremely weak, and hugged me all at once, but I couldn't break free.

He cried and said you don't scare me anymore.

He hugged me tightly and bit my shoulder hard.He kissed my forehead, the bridge of my nose, my lips, tears made every kiss salty and astringent.

Every kiss makes my heart beat, every kiss makes my heart shudder, every kiss makes my heart ache, every kiss makes me sad.

He pinched my face, as if confirming that I was a living creature, then he smiled and said, "No mistake, this is my Xiao Heng."

I don't know what to say, I don't know what to do, he's here, he's holding me, he loves me, and I love him.

But I know that no matter how beautiful it is, it will only turn into a bubble.Maybe it will be over in the next second, maybe I will be wiped out in the next second.

And Luo Yuchen was still immersed in incomparable joy. He was pushed down by me to rest on the car seat, but he still held my hand tightly.

"I'm not letting you go this time," he said.

I never knew that the way Luo Yuchen lay obediently with tears in his eyes was so touching.He is no longer cold and aggressive, full of charm, but another kind of extreme beauty, fragility makes people heartbreak.

"I always thought that you would never leave me." His voice was hoarse and dry, and it was difficult to say every word, but he still tried to say: "You are always by my side, preparing everything for me, what Do everything for me, so that I can't do anything without you...I'm so stupid, why didn't I find out. You knew it a long time ago, you must have planned it a long time ago, you know you left me, I won't be able to live...you're so cunning, look, you've got it..."

He looked at me, murmured with a tearful smile.

My heart ached, and tears fell uncontrollably.

When I was in the spirit body, I had no tears, no matter how sad I was, it could only accumulate in my heart and I couldn't vent it.

The dead can no longer cry, which is probably why people yearn for life so much.

"Xiao Heng, don't cry..." He saw me crying, and wiped my tears distressedly: "I'm just joking. Don't cry, you're not wrong, you're fine, I'm not, it's all because of me Well... I'm cunning, I always knew you were good to me, so I wanted to take advantage of you, and thought that even if I didn't do anything, you would still be good to me..."

"I won't be like this in the future, I will treat you well, I will cherish you and take care of you, don't cry, Xiao Heng, Xiao Heng?"

I heard him call me, so unreal, but the panic in his tone forced me to open my eyes. I saw that he wanted to wipe my tears, but I couldn't feel him touching me.

I looked down at my hands, which were becoming unreally transparent.

God... in front of him? ... so cruel!

Luo Yuchen's eyes widened, he jumped up from the chair, he tried to hug me, but it was in vain.His hands passed through my translucent body, looking extremely weird and ridiculous.

He said, "Xiao Heng, Xiao Heng, you're kidding me, right?"

He slapped himself hard, as if he had a nightmare and wanted to wake himself up.

I wanted to laugh one last time, but I could only cry like rain.

He rushed over to hug me again, but fell beside me, and he looked at me with aching fear and darkness in his eyes.

Everything is coming to an end.No matter how reluctantly, no matter how reluctantly to say goodbye, finally came the day to leave.

I looked into his eyes, looked at his panic, helplessness and powerlessness, and said softly, "Luo Yuchen, take care."

My hand can no longer touch him, but I still insist on covering his hand, I think this is enough, I don't want a hug and kiss in vain, I just want to see my hand in his palm at last .

Years of bitter love and obsession, thousands of words, can only be turned into a sentence to take care.

Hurt and wronged, unwilling and remorse, love and apology, everything finally came to an end.

From then on, I no longer exist. Will my thoughts still haunt you forever?

I want to disappear, where will I go, where will my love for you go?

I have given up the afterlife, shall we meet again forever and ever?

I can no longer hear his voice, only see his frantic expression, his unbelievable attempts to grab me, his flood of tears.

Luo Yuchen, Luo Yuchen...

I can't bear it, I can't bear it.

I really want to hug him one last time.

I was still so greedy in the end.

But finally there is no last time.At last the dust settled and it was irrevocable.

Did you discover it too late, or did I give up too early?

Or was it just an evil joke made by someone watching us from the beginning to the end?

I have never been smart enough, and I seldom discarded the indecision. Why was I so decisive only at the most irreversible time?

I will ask this question, whether it is visible or invisible, I will keep asking it, because I will never be reconciled.

I have no soul, no afterlife, no chance of any kind.I can't even push away the old lady who sells tea by the Naihe Bridge, wait for him, and promise him the next life.

So I will never be reconciled, but I still hope, Luo Yuchen, that you can be happy.In a world without me, in a world where I can't continue watching you silently, forget me as soon as possible and live happily.

In this way, I may be able to smile away, because I can finally feel at ease.

When I can no longer be selfish, I can finally smile and wish you and others happiness.

Everything in front of me blurred, became grotesque, became unrecognizable to me, I could no longer feel myself.

But I can feel that there are water droplets, hot drops hitting my heart one by one.

Even if I can never love again, never hurt again, only this, I will never forget.

Luo Yuchen, the tears you shed for me.

I was finally loose and clean, turned into wind and dust, and fell into eternal loneliness and darkness.

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