Like Love But Not

In the end, Luo Yuchen was dragged by Xia Mingxiu to see a psychiatrist.The conclusion is that it is mild paranoia caused by escaping reality from the subconscious and excessive guilt caused by suffering too much.

Luo Yuchen's reaction was four words, listen to his nonsense.

I know that Luo Yuchen may not be able to accept the reality, but he is not delusional yet.

The night I held him tight for the last time, that real touch only the two of us can verify.It did happen, and he remembered it seriously.

Luo Yuchen insisted on not letting the psychiatrist, who he thought was an extremely stupid liar, use any more psychological hints or hypnosis, and Xia Mingxiu couldn't force him this time.

And because of work, Xia Mingxiu had to leave for a while.

He was worried about Luo Yuchen, but Luo Yuchen said with a smile: "I'm not a child, what can happen."

We all know that there are too many things that can happen in Luo Yuchen's current state, but Xia Mingxiu is not as big-named as Luo Yuchen after all in the company's arrangement, so he can push whatever he wants.

Before leaving, he asked: "The gift you gave Xiao Heng is going to be delivered to him personally, right?"

Luo Yuchen's face lit up, and he nodded with a smile.

I know that Xia Mingxiu asked this question just to make sure that Luo Yuchen he saw when he came back before April was still alive.

Xia Mingxiu left, no one in the room could condone Luo Yuchen's nonsense, he became much quieter and looked more normal.

He would still look at the photo of him and Xia Mingxiu on the carousel on Christmas Eve, smiling mischievously, until one day I felt that something was really wrong, and when I followed him carefully, I found that his finger caressing place.

Behind the joy of the two of them laughing, the person on the wooden horse in the corner was me.Although it was a background behind the brilliance of the two beauties, unless one looked carefully, it was so clear at this moment that there was nowhere to hide.

It's too embarrassing, I secretly looked at their expressions at that time, the loneliness mixed with fascination and envy, was very clear.

The sour mood at that time, apart from my own knowing, was captured by this sensitive camera and stayed forever.

Luo Yuchen just looked at it so nostalgic, and gently stroked the me who was a long time ago.

It turned out that the person he missed while looking at the photos for so long was not Xia Mingxiu, but me, even though they were the protagonists, even though I was only a corner of their world destruction picture.

These are the only pictures I have left of my life, and I watched him burn them all.It's so ironic, even this corner is so precious now, but he was the one who burned all my photos back then.

When watching Luo Yuchen throw those memories into the incinerator, I only saw his ruthlessness.I never thought that sometimes his cruelty and his determination are precisely because he cares.

He hasn't been able to express his feelings properly since a long time ago, and he can't even see his own heart very clearly.He is very good at following his feelings, just like he fell in love with Xia Mingxiu at first sight, but sometimes he himself can't figure out what his feelings are.

Even though I understand that I may be lying to myself, I still want to believe that Luo Yuchen has really fallen in love with me a long time ago. It's just that there is a fine line between love and hate, so he foolishly confused it.

When a feeling is too strong, too strong to be scary, people will deliberately avoid it.

Whether it is love or hate, it is a strong feeling that makes people think about each other every day, and maybe he hates me too much, and one day he suddenly realizes that I am actually not bad.

In any case, it is enough for him to stare at the photo that I only exist in a silent corner.No matter what he has been like in the past, whether he loves me or feels guilty for me, it is enough.

I'm greedy and I'm never satisfied. I can't even sincerely wish him and others happiness, but I really hope he can be happy.And a long time ago, I selfishly hoped that his happiness would be brought to him by my own hands. This was my original intention for a long time, but how could I forget it?

The day Luo Yuchen promised me, the day we moved into this house together, didn't I already hold his hand and swear to him?

No matter how much effort and time, I will make Luo Yuchen fall in love with me one day, and I will make him the happiest person in the world.

From then on, I was afraid that I didn't do enough, that I really couldn't keep Luo Yuchen, and I had to let him go in the end.

In the end?It turned out that I first had the realization that he would definitely leave me.I actually forgot that I said that even if it took me a lifetime, I would make Luo Yuchen happy.

It never occurred to me that I would be the one who broke my promise in the end.

When I picked up the knife, I was filled with despair, grievance, and a dead peace.

At that time, what did I swear to give Luo Yuchen happiness?What about the happiness I promised him that I would personally bring him?

The result is that I let a lifelong knife be cut in the middle, and how can I explain to him when it happens like this.

Luo Yuchen was still looking at the photo, but his thoughts seemed to have drifted far away.

I don't know if he is recalling bits and pieces of the past between us.

Suddenly, as if thinking of something, he jumped up from the sofa and walked to the photo frame on the small cabinet in two steps.

Inside the photo frame are him and Xia Mingxiu, dressed as a cat and a dog, warm and lovely.His slender fingers trembled slightly, and he took out a pressed photo from behind the photo.

He held it in the palm of his hand like a treasure, his eyes sparkled, and he was extremely happy.

Behind him, I could only smile wryly in surprise. When Luo Yuchen was trying to kill them all, one of them slipped through the net.

His usual laziness made him directly take the photo of him and Xia Mingxiu and suppress this one, letting it be forgotten there.

Unexpectedly, the forgotten place has become the safest place.

This is a photo that has been placed in our home for ten years. In the photo, he and I are only 17 years old. We are sitting in the flowers, laughing and looking at the sunflowers together.

That was a long, long time ago.At that time, nothing had started, nothing had been done wrong, even if something was really wrong, there was enough time to recover.

At that time, we all smiled brightly without a trace of sadness.

In this world, if there is really something that can make time last forever, I hope that we will stop at that time, and I can be by his side, silently being his good friend and buddy, watching the flowers bloom and fade, and fend for ourselves.

He will always be nice to me, always smile at me, never notice me, never feel sad for me.