perfect life

Because there is no hair dryer here, He Zihan usually just wipes his hair with a dry towel after taking a shower, and he will be all-round dry after a while.When he first came here, he wore a T-shirt and trousers every time he took a shower. Brother Yang said many times that he was "not like a man". Later, he had to get used to coming out with his upper body naked after a shower.

When Chen Qiran lived here before, the atmosphere between the two of them was still very special, and after that, Chen Qiran fell ill again, and basically never saw He Zihan's appearance when he came out of the shower.Now suddenly seeing the person he thinks about day and night standing in front of him so beautifully and deliciously, Chen Qiran felt that he was getting hotter.

Without knowing it, He Zihan wiped his hair and sat on the bed. Because he was a little tired during the day, he leaned against the head of the bed and picked up the "15 Years of Wanli" which was put aside to read.

Chen Qiran saw his relaxed and contented appearance, and wanted to just hug He Zihan and sleep peacefully, but because he hadn't showered yet, it would be very uncomfortable if he went to sleep immediately, not to mention that there is no air conditioner in this house...

Sighing helplessly, he got up and planned to take a shower, but just as he was about to go out, He Zihan suddenly called out to him.Chen Qiran turned around in puzzlement, but saw He Zihan handing over the towel he used to wipe his hair just now.

"Baby got your towel wet in the bath. You're going to use this to wipe your hair."

"okay."

When Chen Qiran took the towel, he touched He Zihan's hand.The warm feeling from the hand, and the slightly rough touch, all made him nostalgic.Afraid that he would do something impulsive if he stayed in the room for a while, Chen Qiran ran into the bathroom as if fleeing.

This small and simple bathroom with dual functions of bathroom and toilet is not much different from the house that He Zihan rented when Chen Qiran first came back from the United States many years ago.There is not even an electric water heater here, so you can only boil the water yourself and put the water in a bucket.

Regarding this troublesome way of bathing, Chen Qiran didn't have much emotion when he was sick before, but now he really feels very inconvenient.It seems that Zhang Ping will have to bring a solar water heater the next time he comes.

After taking a shower in the bathroom that couldn't be simpler, Chen Qiran wiped his hair with the half-dry towel that He Zihan had just wiped his head.Thinking of the towel that had wiped He Zihan's hair before, I felt the urge to have sex with him.But the current He Zihan, except for the night before he went back, he mentioned to him the idea of ​​letting him move back, and he hasn't contacted him since then.

He lives here, has no mobile phone or computer, and has no way to contact him.I don't know how he is doing these days. Although I know that he and Sister Yang are doing farm work and taking care of the baby together, life should be good, but I can't see him when I am in C City, and I still feel panic.

Originally, after finally finishing the work at hand, I could come here to accompany him for about a week, but suddenly I thought of the existence of Chen Zeyu.He's been here for the past few days, probably He Zihan has worried too?Thinking of his illness, Chen Qiran was also very helpless, but he couldn't do anything, he couldn't intervene in the matter between Chen Zeyu and Ouyang.

When he was young, he felt that Chen Zeyu's birth deprived him of his happiness. Later, when he got a little older, he knew that Chen Zeyu was born to his parents, and that he was just a child born to carry on the family line, but his jealousy towards Chen Zeyu gradually grew worse than knowing why. faded away.

Maybe it was because he was weak and sick from birth, and he was loved, or maybe it was because Chen Zeyu was really a very cute child, and I couldn't hate him.

Since Chen's old house was forced by the grandma not to get too close to Chen Zeyu, otherwise she would let him starve, the contact between himself and his only younger brother has become less and less.Although they have always lived in the same house, the things they have to learn are different, and the time and place of class are also different. The grandma raised herself as an heir simply because she has a strong ability to bear it.

Although I once questioned in my heart, why did Chen Zeyu get so much preferential treatment because he was born weak, and why did he keep learning so many disgusting things?Grandma Tai is also very likely to make my younger brother hungry.

Because of such a heavy burden, Chen Qiran has been studying hard.

He wanted to be a really good man, and he wanted to use his meager strength to maintain the safety of the whole family—although he was only five or six years old at that time, his nostalgia and love for his family had already been deeply rooted in his heart.The departure of his biological mother did not bring much sadness to Chen Qiran. He asked his father to have a baby with another woman because his mother was unable to have children at the beginning. This fact hit him the hardest.

There are obviously four people in the family, but every time they are separated and go back to their parents.

When Chen Qiran was growing up, he rarely saw Chen Zeyu.When Chen Zeyu was taken abroad by his parents for treatment due to illness, he faced endless homework and homework all day long, participated in one competition after another non-stop, and won countless trophies-but he didn't feel happy at all in his heart.

Sometimes I think of the child I met in the park, and remember what he said to me, "be happy", and I will smile unconsciously.

However, after that short period of relaxation, what awaited him was still a terrible day. The devilish training day after day had already made him numb.But when I think that my parents are working very hard to accompany my younger brother to see a doctor, if I don't behave well here, I may not see them in the future, and I will panic again.

In this way, Chen Qiran grew up silently in those days of worry and panic.There are countless questions in my heart: why live in the old house?Because Mom and Dad brought themselves and my brother here.

Why do mom and dad have to live separately from everyone?The housekeeper said that because they are adults, they can live with them when they grow up.

Why didn't my parents take me to a foreign country with me?Because my younger brother was sick, they had to take him to see a doctor, and it would be very troublesome to go by themselves.

Why do I have to learn so many things?Because to be an heir, you must know a lot, otherwise you will fail and lose everything.

Why wasn't he born to his mother?Why did father send himself back after giving birth to himself with another woman?It is because of having a younger brother.

Then why bring yourself back?Because my brother is sick...

But why did they let themselves be born, why didn't their father and mother give birth to themselves? !

These questions lingered in Chen Qiran's mind one after another, causing him a headache.In order to be able to concentrate on studying, and to make his mind stronger, Chen Qiran put a lot of effort into keeping these problems deep in his heart and not touching them.

Now, he looked at the person who was reading a book, and he didn't know what he would think about his life experience and experience.

He spent so much effort to hide his birth and family from He Zihan, just because he didn't want him to see his miserable side.He always wanted to maintain a good image in He Zihan's heart, he didn't want He Zihan to see his weakness, he didn't want He Zihan to worry about him, and he didn't want He Zihan's sympathy.

He wanted to reach out to touch He Zihan's face, and to sleep in his arms, but he couldn't.Now he hasn't figured out He Zihan's real thoughts, if he acts rashly, it may arouse his disgust.

With this layer of scruples, Chen Qiran dried his hair and lay down next to He Zihan.Relying on the fact that he was a patient before, he had been roguely hugging him to sleep—unknowingly, he couldn't sleep peacefully without hugging He Zihan.During his disappearance for more than a year, Chen Qiran often woke up in the middle of the night, wanting to get up soon so that he could continue to look for him.

I remembered a sentence I saw in a certain novel before: "I can't sleep all night, waiting for dawn to find you."

When I saw it for the first time, I thought it was just the author’s provocative words. When I really couldn’t sleep or eat because I couldn’t find He Zihan, I realized that there are people who can’t fall asleep every night and wait for the dawn. of.

Although that sentence is really a bit pretentious, but there has been no news of He Zihan for almost a year. At that time, when Chen Qiran was whispering alone in the middle of the night, he always said the same sentence: "Zihan, I will find you at dawn." Is it gone?"

Alone in the bedroom, naturally no one answered the question asked about the ceiling.Chen Qiran was already overloaded with work during the day, and often suffered from insomnia at night. After a year, his health had deteriorated a lot, so that day he caught a cold and had a high fever when there was a bit of wind in the Yang family's yard.

He Zihan glanced at Chen Qiran who was lying down beside him without any unnecessary movements, and suddenly asked a few words: "Are you going to sleep?"

"Ah."

"Isn't the hair all dry yet? If you sleep like this, you'll get dizzy tomorrow." He Zihan said as he wanted to get out of bed to get a towel, but suddenly remembered that the dry towel was wet by the baby, and he returned to the bed helplessly.

"It's okay, I'm a little tired, I want to go to bed early."

He Zihan thought about it, and knew that he must have driven here with Zhang Ping after work today. It is indeed a bit far from City C. Seeing his tired face, he felt guilty for him.Although he came here by himself, he knew the reason for coming here was because of himself.

If I listened to him and went back to City C to find a job with him, he probably wouldn't be running back and forth like this.

But if I go back like this, I don't feel very at ease.After all, the shadow child of those things before, lives in existence very comfortably, and does not want to return to city life for the time being.

He Zihan was silent for a while, seeing Chen Qiran's drowsy expression, and asked, "Then I turned off the light?"

"Ah."

After hearing what he said, He Zihan turned off the light and lay down on the other side of the bed.

Chen Qiran looked at He Zihan's thin back, wanted to hug him, wanted to touch him, thought of his naked upper body just now, and wanted to enter him again...

But he can't!

Chen Qiran turned over and slept with his back facing He Zihan - he was afraid that he would do something that disgusted him on impulse, if he lost He Zihan forever because of a momentary impulse, it would make him extremely regretful.

Bad childhood memories once again invaded his brain, he was shrouded in those depressive emotions, and even breathing became difficult.

At this time, Chen Qiran still didn't understand that no matter what happened to him, He Zihan would never leave his side.

No matter why he was born, no matter what he experienced when he was a child, that person will never leave him - because he is him, not others.