I only like you as a paper man

"Don't be discouraged." You patted Tuosi on the back (actually you wanted to pat him on the shoulder, but he was too tall for you to reach), "Your character settings are different, and you have specializations in skills."

"Why should I be discouraged?" Tosi didn't care at all, and stood next to another cash register, easily tricking (?) the next customer to buy 22 cups.

You don’t know whether to cry or laugh when you are making milk tea in a hurry. In short, call Tuo Papa and Zai Papa in your heart first (as long as you can make money, you are dad, after all, you can’t do it if you don’t have money).

"Can you two stop laughing and laughing at your inner mmp?" When you reached the tenth cup alone, you finally couldn't help it, "Mr. Dostoyevsky, don't you If you work hard, be careful that I will deduct your wages, or I will go to Mr. Dazai to file a complaint and tell him about your black history."

"Really? If there is such a story, I would like to hear it too." Although Tuo Si said so, he obediently listened to your words and started making milk tea with you, because he didn't want to Standing with Dazai who kept talking sweet words to customers again.

"Do you think changing clothes in the alley (drawing) in the field is black enough? If you are not careful, it can be misinterpreted as exhibitionism..."

"It's required for work." Toss paused, and explained to you, "...and wearing an underwear."

"Have you ever wondered what will happen if Mr. Dazai shows up early if you haven't put on your pants...clothes?"

"I wear underwear." Tosi emphasized again.

"Okay, after all, there are no other witnesses, so you can say whatever you want... Is it true that you won't get prickly heat if you wear such a thick underwear and underwear... No, the sniper you hired should have seen it, right? ?”

"Yokohama is different from here, it's very cool." Tosi deliberately changed the subject.

"Nonsense, it's cooler than this. Africans can suffer from heatstroke in China." You quickly sealed the cup of milk tea in your hand, put it into a bag with the one you made earlier, and packed it.

You were just about to put a large bag of milk tea on the bar counter for customers, but Osamu Dazai snatched it away.

"My dear lady, I'm sorry for making you wait so long due to the negligence of our staff, as compensation, let me—"

"It's okay, I haven't waited long, thank you..." The customer covered his mouth and lowered his head, probably already grinning from ear to ear.

"Ah...that's great, I want to be a handsome guy in my next life." You said to yourself, but Tuo Si didn't pay attention to your words.

22 cups of milk tea are only half done now, you have to keep busy.As you added some pearls to the cup, you recalled the conversation you had with Tuo Si just now.

"So the sniper you hired saw it?"

"..." Tuosi put down the empty cup in his hand, turned around to block in front of you, raised his head slightly, and looked down at you.Of course you can understand his eyes and expression at this time, it is completely a crime and punishment warning.jpg emoticon package.

"I don't think he saw it. Of course, we can't seek answers from people who have passed away." He stretched out his hand and combed the messy hair for you. "There are some things in the world that are better not to delve into."

Can I call Mr. Dazai for help?

The kind of interaction you once dreamed about now only serves to scare you.He seems to be implying that he can kill you at any time as long as he has the ability, or maybe he is implying that he can kill you at any time even if he does not have the ability.

however.

…Showing this kind of attitude on this kind of matter can only prove that he really cares about the black history of changing clothes in the alley (and was witnessed the whole process), okay? ! !

chacha!Calm down!If you say this, you will die!Hold back, Chacha! !

"I'm sorry!" You quickly took a step back, slipped to Dazai's side and made milk tea.

Being alone with either of them is a very dangerous thing, but when both are present, there seems to be a sense of check and balance that keeps each other in check.

To put it simply, the negative is the positive.

"What's the matter, Chacha, you look terrified, did Fyodor bully you?"

Maybe she was frightened by Dazai's overly enthusiastic approach to strike up a conversation, and the customers sat far away from the bar counter. This can't be her fault. In the real world, most of Dazai's sweet words would be regarded by the girls as proof of a scumbag.

That's why Osamu Dazai shifted the target of the small talk to you.

"Mr. Dazai, please don't ask questions knowingly, this is not bullying, this is intimidation, okay?"

"...That's right, this is the style of a devil."

"Who gave him the title of devil? This person must be dead."

You still remember that you discussed with your friends before that all the characters who talked to Tuo in the literary hero Little Stray Dog, except Osamu Dazai and a coffee shop clerk who has nothing to do with the world of supernatural beings, all received bento boxes.You guys also had another heated discussion about this: Tuo’s real identity is a delivery man who specializes in delivering bento to people, and his signature quote is called "Open the door! Deliver food!" (Here, "Open the door! Check the water meter !" tone).

"Probably." Dazai replied casually, he was not very interested in this topic.

"Chacha~ You really don't think about coming to follow me? Look, the deity is here!" The next second, Dazai turned into a playful smile again, and returned to the topic of the morning.

"it is done."

Tuo Si interposed | between the two of you with one hand, interrupting your conversation.He put the milk tea on the table in front of you, not too hard, but not too light.You seem to be able to smell the fire|||medicine coming from between him and Dazai.

"Are you taking an oath of sovereignty?"

"No, I just put the prepared milk tea here, Dazai-kun."

……

You slipped aside in small steps, not wanting to get involved in their disputes, and you feel that it is necessary for you to publicly announce your neutral position... Although it is probably useless, if they want to use you, they can use you There is not even a scum left.

"I don't think you will obediently work here to make milk tea."

"I don't think people who don't even work have the right to speak of me, Dazai-kun, didn't you say this is a rare vacation?"

"Well, since this is the case..." Dazai quickly switched to the daily mode, "Let me also enjoy this vacation! Fyodor, let us forget the unpleasantness of that world. In this world without supernatural powers, someone Play until you get bored in the ideal world! Just like the Love Island mode in Dangan X Break!"

No!Mr. Dazai!Let's put aside the question of why you know that the bullet X is broken. Isn't it like asking the other party for a fat time when you say this!

——You can’t stop complaining in your heart.

"Sorry." Tuo was stunned for a second, probably imagining the scene Dazai said, and replied with Dazai's words in the morning, "May I vomit first?"

...So you also know what Dangan X-Broken is!Have you all played! ! ? ? ?

You imagined the scene when Tosi played the bullet X-broken, he would probably hunch his back, press the handle in the dark room with only the screen flashing light, and whenever he saw the execution screen, a villain would appear The signature smile, and then he will talk to himself for a few comments.

You think back to the scene when you turned off the lights and hid under the quilt to play the projectile X broken years ago, and you couldn't hold on after playing for 5 minutes.The screen is so flashing that you dare not look at it, especially when the school judges.

For a moment, you worried about Tuo's eyes.

You sneaked away while Tuosi and Dazai were complimenting and criticizing each other, finished the leftover milk tea by yourself, packed it and handed it to the customer.Before she left, she would peek at the counter from time to time, and finally she couldn't help but turn back and ask you in a low voice, "Do you know if he has a girlfriend?"

"Which one are you talking about?"

"It's the one who sells my milk tea, otherwise why do you think I bought so much?"

"You said him, of course... yes!" You almost told the truth and quickly changed your words, "His girlfriend graduated from Tsinghua University with a master's degree, and I heard that she is the school belle of that class!"

In order to avoid unnecessary trouble, you made up a high-quality girlfriend for Osamu Dazai, hoping to let this customer quit.You think, maybe one day Dazai hooks up with her on a whim, and the innocent customer must be the one who gets hurt. In order to protect the peace of Shanghai, you resolutely block all of Dazai's new relationships.

Yes, even if one day Osamu Dazai is put on Weibo by girls for crimes such as "scumbag" or "tricking suicide", you will not be surprised at all.

"Hey... what about the other little brother?"

"?????"

So as long as you look good, you can!

You didn't expect her to think of Tuo Si immediately, compared to him, Osamu Dazai is considered a good citizen, okay?Of course, you have no way to drive her away directly, so you have to make up a non-existent girlfriend for Tuo Si: "He also has a partner! He graduated from Peking University... with a master's degree! I heard that his girlfriend's father is still The boss of the world's top 500!"

"...Wow, are they all so good? Then why do you still come to work in a milk tea shop?"

"Uh..." The customer lady overwhelmed you with one sentence, so you had to answer her: "They are here to experience the life of the poor."

You looked at her dingy back and comforted yourself: Chacha, you are right, although you said that they have a girlfriend is fake, but it is true that they came to experience the life of the poor!

"What are you talking to her about?" Seeing the customer walking away, Tosi asked you.

"Praise you for being handsome."

Tosi: "..."

Dazai: "Sure enough, girls in this world understand my charm better! Ah~ I really want to try it!"

Dosi looked at Dazai with contempt, probably doubting life: Why would Dazai, who was competing with him on the same stage as Dostoevsky, have such a virtue?