I only like you as a paper man

You made Osamu Dazai a cup of special tiramisu milk tea.

Dazai sat lazily on the seat by the bar, propped his face with his hands like a girl, and sipped a drink he wouldn't normally touch.

"It's more delicious than expected, what kind of milk tea is this?"

"It's the tiramisu milk tea I specially made for you, with some rum added, I think you'll like it."

"Hey——" Dazai turned sideways, put his hands on the back of the seat, looked at you with a smile and said, "Chacha knows my hobbies very well."

There is something scary in his smile, it's not a kind smile, it even seems to be hostile to you.

You know, he is not a person who feels happy when someone peeps into his heart, rather the opposite.

Dazai must have hated that.

"Huh? Don't all adult men like to drink alcohol? Most sweet things are only liked by young girls."

You pretended to be stupid and changed the topic, reminding yourself that you must not talk about the plot and setting of the literary hero Little Wild Dog in front of them in the future.

Dazai didn't dig into it.

Just like yesterday, you closed the store early because the turnover was earlier than expected.If they will stay in the real world for a long time, they will obediently listen to you in the first week. Therefore, you must instill in them the normal concept of the real world in the first week.

...Although [-]% of the effects are minimal.

Also like yesterday, you proposed to take the two of you around to get acquainted with the surroundings, and Dazai happily agreed.Before Tosi answered you, you stuffed the spare key of the staff dormitory into his hand together with a few hundred dollars in cash.

Tosi, who was thinking about how to reject your invitation: "?"

"Aren't you too hot and want to turn on the air conditioner? Here is the key, you should remember the way."

"...Well, I don't think Dazai-kun wants me to participate either."

Your action just saved him trouble.

However, he will not go back obediently.

Of course you know he's not doing nothing.

So before Dostoyev left, you repeatedly emphasized to him "don't deceive others", "don't stab people in the street", "don't commit crimes", and warned him: Dostoyevs Mr. Ji, you don't have a passport, and if the black household is caught, it will be over!

Tuo Si agreed with you on the surface, but he didn't listen to you at all.Even if you don't tell me, he won't be stupid enough to commit crimes in another world. As for the black household without a passport, he thinks he can call himself the king of stowaways.

"Where does Mr. Dazai want to go?" You locked the store door and discussed the itinerary with Dazai, "Because you don't know how long you will stay here, it would be better to buy some spare clothes and daily necessities first."

"That's right, Chacha is really thoughtful, it would be great if Chacha could work in the detective agency~"

"I don't want to travel to your world just to serve you." You puff up half of your face, thinking about whether you have become a paper man if this proposition is true, and the characters in the original book are still paper men Is this a good question anyway.

"Don't say that~ Look, look, today is a memorable first date!" Dazai put his hands on your shoulders and pushed you forward a few steps. I am really lucky to be able to date a cute girl like Chacha~ Ah, maybe if I travel to the world where the bullet X is broken, I will be the lucky one of the super high school class!"

"You should choose one of the super high school-level suicide maniac, the super high school-level bandage maniac, and the super high school-level mackerel."

"According to this, it's super tall... no, it's super short for a school-level cap stand!"

As expected of Osamu Dazai, he will never forget to drag Nakahara Chuya into the water together.

"Okay, if there is a chance, I will help you pass this sentence on to him."

"Hey...then I still hope that there will never be such an opportunity." Thinking of the possibility of crossing over from the Central Plains, Dazai's expression immediately turned into a face of disgust.

"It's not certain." You said mercilessly, "If Mr. Chuya can also cross over, maybe other people will also cross over... It's better than you and Mr. Dostoevsky here. Be nice."

"why?"

"Because I don't want to be caught between you two wolves in sheep's clothing!!!"

You cry out from your heart.

When you think of the fate of the honest man Shibusawa Tatsuhiko in the movie version, you can't help but feel sorry for yourself. How can anyone in the real world be able to fight against these two people?You don't want to be a poor little sheep who doesn't know when it will be slaughtered.

That's right.

Osamu Dazai's slaughter is the slaughter of people! ! !

"Damn it, what Chacha said is too much, even I don't want to involve ordinary girls, let alone a girl as cute as Chacha~" Dazai leaned in front of you, pointing at his face, with an innocent smile.

"...Even if you can't, it doesn't mean that Mr. Dostoevsky can't." You rolled your eyes, and then seriously thought about whether to write a suicide note, and even if you were written by Dostoevsky after you wrote the suicide note. The possibility of being destroyed, "Look at this person, he is cruel and merciless, he doesn't seem to have any emotions at all, and he just talks to fool people, so he will go and die..."

The more you talk, the more sad you become.

"..." Dazai looked at you with some doubts, and said after a while, "Chacha, are you really a fan?"

Dazai's question got to the point, you stopped in despair, turned around, raised your head suddenly, pulled down the cross-shaped tie on Dazai's chest, and shouted at Dazai: "Do you know! There is a saying! One fan! Top ten blacks!!!”

Dazai waved his hand innocently: "No, I haven't heard of it at all."

"I owe him a crush in this life because I owe him in the previous life!"

"???"

Dazai Osamu: What is going on with you girls from another world? ? ?I have the impression that fans want to blow their idols to the sky! ?

You let go of your hand, and continued walking towards the destination with Osamu Dazai, chatting while walking.

"Mr. Dazai, let me describe it to you!" You let go of your hand, "You fell in love with a girl, although you knew from the beginning that this girl was not a good person, but you have nothing to do with what she did , Her personality and way of speaking are very attractive to you, you think such a girl is very cute, and you have some beautiful fantasies about her, but..."

"But?"

"But the more you go on, the more you find out! These fantasies are all nonsense! She is really not a good person, and she is so bad to the bone!"

"and then?"

"Then... isn't this the only way to continue liking with a hate-and-love mentality!"

"But I think there is a better way~" Dazai patted his chest and said confidently.

"What is it?"

"Break up, and then immediately find the next one!"

"Where is the next one!?" If there is a table in front of you, you will definitely flip the table.

You should have known earlier that you shouldn't ask this man who answered in the official Q&A, "No matter what kind of girl I am, I have the confidence to transform her into a look that suits my preferences". Wife is too unreliable, okay?

"Isn't it right here~ Look, look~" Dazai poked his cheek, "A good quality man!"

"I'm sorry, your goods are too expensive, I really can't afford you." You solemnly rejected Dazai, this is the third time today.

And how does this person have the face to say that he is a good quality man!How dare a man who can stand in a long queue for a woman who has been made to cry by him say that he is a high-quality man!

For a while, I don't know whether I should be happy that I am worth more than Tuosi, or feel sad about Dazai who was rejected by you: ".........?"

"Besides, Mr. Dazai, look!" You continued to tell Dazai bitterly about Tosi's crimes, "Because I'm a fan of him, all my pocket money is used to buy his accessories, that's fine... he's now After crossing over, don’t I have to risk my life to serve his basic necessities!?”

Dazai, who is also waiting to be served by you, is a little guilty, but he is not panicked at all, pretending to have nothing to do with him and saying: "I think Chacha is right, girls are meant to be pampered ~ Fyodor It seems to be the one being served, and it must be a shaky S, I advise you better not to..."

"Mr. Dazai is right! If I sell him now, it will be too late!" You were instantly led astray by Dazai.

"However, I'm still very curious... Logically speaking, wouldn't you be very happy to see the deity?" Osamu Dazai recalled one of his ex-girlfriends who loved to chase stars. Every time she grabbed tickets, it was like a bloody battle. war.

"You don't understand, Mr. Dazai, the stars only shine when you look at them from the earth, don't you?"

"Indeed."

"Although Mr. Dostoevsky has done some bad things, if he can't travel through time, he won't be able to harm me, and he won't be able to affect me in any way!"

"Then if Chacha was a fan of me from the beginning, wouldn't there be such troubles?"

"..." No, I think there will be many other troubles. Although my life will not be threatened, I will definitely be hurt emotionally later.

"Mr. Dazai, you are so naive!" You clapped your hands, "No matter who the target is, my theory will not change!"

"If you want to ask why...! That's—"

"I only like paper people! It's a standard paper sex!!!"

Although he had already guessed this, Osamu Dazai was still shocked when he heard him say that: "...Huh?"

"Mr. Dazai!" You stopped again, blocking Dazai's way.

When you said that to Dazai, you recalled the cuteness of Tosi when you were a paper man. He didn’t care about his own face or other messy things, and asked Dazai——

"What do you think! How can we catch Fedya!"

"Mr. Dazai, please teach me!"

The author has something to say: Dazai: ...?Are you kidding me? ?

Chacha asked about the method of chasing paper Rentuo in the original book 2333333

Then Gogol came and the three of them discussed together (x

Gogol: I think Dazai’s nature can be changed a bit.

Dazai: No, go away.

Dazai: I think it might be okay for Gogol to have a sexual change.

Gogol: No, get out.

Tosi on the side: ...? ? ?