Deep Cabinet Licking Dog Diary

Saturday, March [-]th is cloudy

I spent another week peacefully in school, either busy with part-time work or studying in the library dormitory, preparing to make up all the courses I owed.

I even took the time to play ball with Liu Xiong twice, and once I played the iron; I played King Baboon a few times with Wang Baboon. Outfits, successful assists...

There are still a few moments, and I will click on the top of my WeChat, look at it, and close it again.

Lu Bei shared a song at [-] o'clock the night before yesterday, Zhang Zihao's "Is It Possible?"With an expression: [broken heart] [broken heart]

A fellow friend asked him: Brother Lu, what's the matter?Break up again?

He didn't return.

He seldom shares Chinese songs. As soon as I saw it, my dog-licking nature was exposed, and I immediately searched for the lyrics:

I promised to take you wandering, but I returned halfway;

Falling into the ocean of self-blame, I found that I couldn't do without you;

I began to decide to go back, you are no longer in place;

……

Fuck! Fuck!This, this, this is not for me! ! !Is this what I think it means? !

Is it so fast?Lu Bei finally found out about me! !

Is this showing favor and asking for reunion?

Uuuuuuuuuuu Can I also have the qualifications of male gods to post moans on Moments at night?

I jumped out of the sea like a drowning fish and took a big breath, my heart was about to explode with excitement!

But after reading a few more lines of the lyrics, my heart sank:

Can I be with you, there are too many memories between us;

Falling in love with you makes no sense,

Just happened to meet you at the beginning of love;

……

So many memories...... Do we have any?

Falling in love with you....... Love?

The beginning of love......... 噫......

I stared at these words.

I feel like these words have nothing to do with me.Probably not for my viewing.

Originally, I was calm these days, but now I started to think wildly again.

... He, he should contact Shen Jing again, right?No way no way? ?

After Shen Jing came back last time, although this name never came out of his mouth again, thinking about it, it seems that it is not impossible for them to keep in touch again.

The fish drowned.

My heart is numb.

I listened to that song on loop all day long, woo woo woo, it's obviously a movie of three people, but it doesn't have my name.

It is a small theater in which Lu Bei is lonely and cold after being single again, looking back on the past with his respectful avatar, and looking for spiritual comfort.

I was angry and distressed.Annoyed that he still thinks that no one is as good as that man after all, as soon as we broke up, he moved his mind back, garbage big pig's hooves; but now I feel distressed that no one can understand his mind like me and comfort him, there is only one person beside me Not at all, it is even more impossible for Shen Jing to look for him back, he is still waiting with illusions in his heart.

After all, I can't let go that much, the only thing I can do is to control myself not to go to him.

It's the only little thing I can do for myself.Maybe I still don't love myself more than I love him.

But I am slowly learning to protect myself, and slowly trying to forget.When it comes to feelings, there is no other choice. Even if I force myself hard, it is only a temporary self-deception.So I'm not in a hurry, I believe I can do it.

But my sadness also comes and goes.

In the middle of the night, I put down the bed curtain, listened to the snoring of Liu Xiongwang's baboon, got under the covers and read the lyrics repeatedly, and began to wonder whether this song was actually specially for me to read.

After all, there seems to be a bit of self-blame and regret in the lyrics, and he has never been sorry to Shen Jing, so there is no need.

Besides, according to common sense, he already knew that Shen Jing had a fiancé, and he bid farewell with dignity last time, and never mentioned it again after that, so he couldn't be so obsessed with it!

So!Maybe he was expressing his feelings to me in a subtle way!

I'm not worried about Lu Bei's other exes at all, I still have this confidence!In Lu Bei's world, as long as there is no Shen Jing, Lao Tzu is number one!

Of course, I went around such a big circle, disconnected and separated emotionally. The ultimate goal is not to separate, but to tame Lu Bei.

I can live my life well, I can pay less attention to you, I can not contact you, I can pretend to have left, as long as I can make you love me in the end, I am willing to try all methods.

Although I can't figure out what Lu Bei is thinking now, maybe he is still hesitating in his relationship, but after all, I am closer to him than Shen Jing, occupying the geographical advantage, and at the same time dumping him in the same way, which made him feel regretful.

That's a good start.

Secondly, my contact information with Lu Bei has not been deleted, so he can see my latest updates.So I followed the instructions of the online emotional mentor, and tried to create a positive attitude of "I can live well or even better without you" in the circle of friends.

But as smart as I am, I don't naturally show how happy I am.

When appropriate, I will also show a pitiful image of "I've been hurt emotionally, and I'm really nostalgic, but I have to let go" in the dead of night.

I have thoroughly analyzed that although Lu Bei seems to change boyfriends frequently, he seldom takes the initiative to get rid of others.So I think, maybe every time before, he had the idea of ​​wanting to have a good relationship, but before their emotional foundation was solid, he was betrayed by Green again and again, so that in the end he became insensitive .

But in the final analysis, he is a long-lasting person after all. I knocked on his heart so hard before, but now it seems that I have some difficulties, and I keep hinting that he "still loves you even after we are separated", so that he There is an illusion that many obstacles hinder the deep love of sadomasochism.

In fact, people are all the same. At this time, the more painful, the more affectionate, and the more you will fall into the bondage of "making love against the world".

The more I can't let go.

After all, what you can't get is the most precious.

After all, it is only when a broken mirror is reunited that it is lost and found again is it precious.

So I set up this chain of links, just to allow myself to gradually take the initiative, please enter the urn, and let him enter my rhythm step by step.

I want to completely fill his heart.Totally, own him.

I want him to have nothing but me.

Although before I went to sleep, I thought to myself a little bit, "boyfriend loves me wholeheartedly", this should be the starting point of love between many ordinary people, it is the most trivial necessary condition for the beginning of love between two people, but it has become my goal.

But, who called him Lu Bei?

He is all the exceptions and specials in my world, so I am willing to be much, much slower than others, to fall in love slowly, to be passionate slowly, to get used to it slowly, and to eat and drink slowly, so that in the end, will he be bored with me? getting late and slow?