Su Wei

"Heh..." Su Wei closed his eyes: "He said... he couldn't forgive me."

At this time, Rhubarb had an urge to grab his collar and slap him to wake him up, and then asked him loudly why he refused to let him go.But he knew he couldn't do it.

"If it's because of me, please don't worry, I will gradually fade out of your sight...you don't have to be troubled by me anymore."

Gao Jin's shadow faded a lot.

Su Wei shook his head subconsciously: "No..."

Gao Jin's face became clearer again.

Da Huang took a deep breath: "Okay, I have to find out all the reasons why you feel guilty. Has Gao Jin changed in any way?"

Su Wei replied while recalling: "Today, I expressed my heart to my brother... I don't hate him, I love him, but I can't agree with his actions... Gao Jin's appearance is much blurred."

Da Huang nodded: "Your disapproval of your brother's actions has always been one of the reasons why you feel guilty. He is your biological brother. You know that his purpose is for your own good. Your dislike for him violates your morals. Ethics. It solved the problem in your heart, so Gao Jin will fade away...Is there any more?"

Su Wei said: "Just now when you said you were going to leave, he faded again. But I felt sad, and he became clearer again."

Rhubarb smiled wryly: "It's faded...how clear is it?"

"It's still... more clear."

Rhubarb felt both comforted and uncomfortable in his heart.He said: "It's probably not just me. The matter between me and the doctor is very complicated. Let's solve the other things first." - He also wanted to sentence himself to death later in his heart.

He asked Su Wei many more questions, but Su Wei still couldn't remember why he felt guilty.In fact, any emotion can be repressed, including guilt.Because a person subconsciously defends his actions and finds all kinds of excuses for himself, so he is both clear and ignorant of what he has done wrong.

In the end, both of them were exhausted physically and mentally, so they had to give up temporarily.

When sleeping at night, Da Huang was about to go to the guest room, but Su Weila stopped him.

He said: "Lu Xiao, I don't want to give up on you because of my cowardice. I think I should face him—face myself."

Rhubarb was very moved, but worried: "Gao Jin..."

In fact, Gao Jin, who had just been quiet for a while, began to pant heavily again, ready to make another scene.

Su Wei gritted his teeth and grabbed Da Huang's hand: "You sleep with me."

The two were lying on the bed, Su Wei hugged Rhubarb tightly, with such strength that he wished to strangle him into his chest.At the same time, Gao Jinsen's cold gaze made him feel like a light on his back.

Rhubarb endured the discomfort of being strangled by him, and patted him on the back to comfort him: "Second brother, it doesn't matter, there is no Gao Jin, no one else, as long as you beat yourself."

Su Wei nodded vigorously, almost gritted his teeth and said, "It's been ten years, I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life because of my cowardice...why..."

Rhubarb kissed his forehead: "It's not cowardice...doctor, it's not cowardice...it's because your morality is too strong, you have too high demands on yourself, and you are too kind..." These are the education and training he has received since he was a child. It is difficult to change the results of people and things you come into contact with.

Su Wei tremblingly said: "Fuck the morality!"

Rhubarb forced a smile: "Yeah, fuck the morality, can a moral person buy a house cheaper? Civilization is something that restricts human nature."

Gao Jin stopped cursing, but began to cry softly on Su Wei's bedside.

Su Wei didn't fall asleep for a long time.Of course, rhubarb is also very sober.

Su Wei climbed out of the bed softly, opened the drawer, and took out the psychotropic drugs in it, but was stopped by Rhubarb who followed.

"Doctor, don't take medicine..." he begged, "Any mental illness has a reason, as long as the cause can be found out, it can be resolved. The role of medicine is to stimulate your body to secrete hormones, it is a temporary solution, not a permanent cure , and even affect your health."

Su Wei hesitated.

Rhubarb heated another glass of milk for Su Wei.

"I regret giving you sleeping pills. I don't know if it will aggravate your condition. From tomorrow onwards, please ask for leave. Don't participate in any work. As long as your body feels tired, you will fall asleep."

Su Wei finally stuffed the medicine back into the drawer.He drank the rhubarb milk, lay dry on the bed until the early morning, and finally fell asleep.

The next day, Rhubarb gave Su Wei a free association test.The so-called free association means that the therapist speaks a word, and the treated person can answer another word without any thought, so that the therapist has the opportunity to grasp the subconscious mind of the treated person instantly.

Rhubarb said, "Milk?"

Su Wei replied, "Sleep well."

"Flowers?"

"color."

"Mother?"

"tolerant."

"Father?"

"Busy."

"Sky?"

"blue."

"rainbow?"

"Selfish."

Rhubarb paused, then repeated after a few seconds: "Rainbow?"

Su Wei rested his forehead dejectedly: "I see..."

When he was studying in the United States, his roommate was Lin Yinran, who was also from China and had a quarter of Nordic descent.Lin Yinran is a very lively and proud person, like a beautiful peacock.There was a sharp contrast between him and Su Wei, who wrapped himself tightly with a barrier.

The two got along day and night, and Lin Yinran was quickly attracted by this melancholy young man with a tear mole in the corner of his eye.But his long-standing pride made him unable to let go of his arrogance to actively pursue Su Wei, so he had to hint frequently and create opportunities to get close to him, hoping that he would actively pursue him.

One day, Su Wei came back from class and studied hypnosis-related content by himself with a book in his hand.Lin Yinran saw it and asked deliberately: "Hypnosis can exert psychological hints on people, so can it make a person fall in love with another person?"

Su Wei replied in a daze: "Probably... yes."

Lin Yinran smiled and encouraged: "Come on, honey, I am willing to be your guinea pig. How about trying to make me fall in love with you?"

Su Wei immediately refused: "No."

Lin Yinran began to stalk: "Why not? Give it a try, I'm really interested in hypnosis. If you don't want to, I can find someone else to try. Otherwise, you can set up a scene, and when it is achieved At that scene, the psychological suggestion will automatically fail, just like a key."

The sun had just rained that day, and there was a clear rainbow in the sky.Lin Yinran pointed at the rainbow excitedly and said, "Just the rainbow. When I see the rainbow again, the psychological suggestion you made to me will be invalid."

Su Wei still refused, but couldn't stand Lin Yinran's stalking, and finally agreed.

——It has to be admitted that he has long been secretly attracted to this lively and playful roommate, and he subconsciously desires to achieve this result.

However, this impromptu and impulsive behavior completely destroyed the possibility of his and Lin Yinran's development.Su Wei felt guilty about his behavior, and he believed that it was because of his selfishness that he had hypnotized his roommate in this way.He was uneasy about the relationship between them, because he subconsciously thought that once Lin Yinran saw the rainbow again, he would start to get tired of and spurn him.

Therefore, he began to gradually alienate Lin Yinran, and involuntarily began to be indifferent to him in order to achieve some kind of atonement.

However, probably due to some kind of destiny, until now, he has never seen a rainbow again.

It was already a week after Lin Yinran saw Ren Xiaoqian again.He hasn't seen Su Wei come to class this week, and he feels very puzzled.He wanted to call that dear Yumu Liao, but no one answered it all the time, which made him wonder whether his dear Yumu Liao was sick.

He finished class absent-mindedly, and decided to visit Su Wei's house, but was stopped by Ren Xiaoqian near the teaching building.

Seeing Ren Xiaoqian at first glance, Lin Yinran's first reaction was joy, and then deliberately put on a straight face and pretended to be annoyed, and said, "Why do you want me?"

Ren Xiaoqian scratched his hair expressionlessly: "Uh, I..."

Lin Yinran snorted coldly: "Want to apologize? What did you do so early? It's too late now! Get out of the way!"

Ren Xiaoqian was stunned: "Apologize?"

Lin Yinran looked at his bewildered face, and suddenly became furious: "Damn, why did you come to me without apologizing?" After a pause, he widened his eyes and said, "I've already changed the grade for you! How dare you give it to me again?" If I raise my grades, I...I...I'll beat you up!"

Ren Xiaoqian felt a little embarrassed, but his face was still blank: "Uh, thank you teacher..."

Lin Yinran really wanted to carve a smiling face on his face with a knife, and said angrily, "Thank you for what, get out, I don't want to see you!"

Ren Xiaoqian nodded: "Oh, it was Lu Xiao who asked me to help you find you."

Lin Yinran instantly wanted to pounce on him and pinch his neck, and said angrily, "Which green onion is Lu Xiao... ah?! Lu Xiao?!"

Ren Xiaoqian pointed to a poplar tree not far away, under which Rhubarb was standing lonely.

Lin Yinran rolled his eyes, and left the look that he would settle accounts with you later, and walked towards Da Huang quickly.

The two came to a quiet teahouse.

Da Huang said straight to the point: "Mr. Lin, the doctor's condition is very bad now, and he needs your help."

Lin Yinran immediately became nervous: "What's wrong with Dolores?"

Rhubarb paused for two seconds, and said, "Dolores means sorrow, pain or regret in Latin...I think that's why the priest named the doctor that way...Doctor doesn't like you calling him that, He wants to get out of this, and I hope you don't go by that name in the future."

Lin Yinran felt displeased: "What on earth are you looking for me for? He... What happened to Avi?"

Da Huang smiled wryly: "Doctor, he has been stuck in guilt and can't extricate himself."

Lin Yinran was shocked.

After Da Huang explained what he wanted Lin Yinran to do, Lin Yinran felt extremely displeased: "Yes, when you were in the United States, there was indeed a sun and rain here, and even a rainbow appeared, and I did see it. This is what I thought at the time Tell Avi, but he didn't give me a chance. I like him, it has nothing to do with hypnotism, why do you want me to tell him that I don't love him anymore? How can you convince me that it's not out of your selfishness?"

Da Huang forced a smile: "I just want to help him out of the predicament. Don't worry, I promised to use five years to prove my feelings. During these five years, I will not cause trouble to the doctor again. If the doctor's predicament can be solved, You can still pursue him. His current mental state is indeed not very good... If you don't believe me, you can ask his brother."

Lin Yinran said a little irritably: "What is a bad mental state? Is he sick? Could it be that he has a split personality like you?"

Da Huang's face changed slightly, and then he returned to normal: "No, it's just... not very good. Mr. Lin, you don't understand, he may not have succeeded in hypnotizing you, but he hypnotized himself. The rainbow and the sun rain are not unraveling. The password of your psychological suggestion, but the key to unlock his own psychological suggestion, which locks him in self-blame. I hope you can help him."

The change of his face was captured sensitively by Lin Yinran.Lin Yinran was stunned for a long time, then clenched his fist and tapped his forehead, his attitude finally softened: "I see, let me think about it."