欢乐 今宵

When I woke up, Lu Shengze was sitting beside my bed.I was lying in a single ward in the hospital, there was no one else in the room except me and Lu Shengze.

He looked at me, and I looked at him, and neither of them spoke for a moment.

What to say?I don't know either.

sorry?I didn't feel sorry for him in any way. I just wanted to save him at the beginning, and no one could have expected what happened afterwards.

If you want to talk about love, I really love him. The turbulent love that has been accumulated for many years has never disappeared, but it has only been temporarily sealed. At this time, along with the restored memory, it is like a torrent of eruption in my chest. It hurts my heart.

But at the same time, there is also hatred, hating the teasing of fate, and hating him.

We looked at each other in silence for a while.Lu Shengze was still wearing a hospital gown, his face was haggard, his eyes were red, and he was staring at me with complex and deep eyes, full of affection and guilt that was about to overflow.

I opened my mouth, my throat, which I hadn't uttered for a long time, was extremely dry, and finally I just whispered a name.

"Ozawa..."

The moment Lu Shengze heard these two words, his eyes widened in disbelief, and then he was ecstatic. He didn't even know where to put his hands, and finally fell on me trembling and hugged me, and buried his face in me. neck fossa.

I just felt a burst of warmth and moisture on the skin, and he cried.

"Chenchen, my Chenchen..." The man's voice was hoarse and dull, intermittent, like crying and laughing, "I'm really happy that you are still alive."

"It was my second brother who tampered with the brakes, I thought you were gone - I want to avenge you, and then I will come to you..."

His hot skin and breath pressed against the side of my neck, I didn't move, listening to him continue to speak, but there was no confidence in his words, and there was vague panic: "I'm so stupid, really! Why didn't I Do you recognize that it is you?"

Lu Shengze straightened up again, looking at me with wet eyes: "I have dogs and cats, and the layout and decoration of the villa are all your favorite. I always remember what you said..."

Yes, I also remembered, those wishes of Lin Xia and I were not the future I had imagined with Xia Ze.

The large hospital gown hung on the man, revealing a pale neck, and I noticed that he seemed to have lost a lot of weight suddenly.

I don't know how long I was in a coma this time. During my coma, whether he bumped into Ms. Cheng who came to see me, and then learned the truth.

Lu Shengze said to me almost in a begging tone: "Chenchen, I'm the one who's sorry for you...Give me a chance, let's start again, okay?"

restart?It's so easy to say.

Too many emotions were tangled in my mind, I just felt tired, I didn't even have the strength to raise my hands, I just rolled my eyes and lowered them.

Life is not about making movies, and there is no chance to do it all over again.

No matter what the reason is, our time has passed, there is an 11-year gap between us, I have forgotten those memories, and then I have my new life, my ideal, and my lover.

Even if I think about it now and realize that I still love him, I already have other responsibilities.

If I give Lu Shengze a chance to start over with him, what will Lin Xia do?What did Lin Xia do wrong again?

Lin Xia never did anything wrong.He shouldn't pay for my past with Lu Shengze, he belongs to the present, and I'm no longer the old me.

Lu Shengze has changed, he is no longer the shining young man back then, my Xia Ze, he will never do the nasty things Lu Shengze did to me.

In 11 years, too many things can really change.

For a moment, I couldn't help but wonder, if Lu Shengze had shown me more respect before, and didn't force me to do those things in that extreme way, if we meet again in a different way, would there be other possibilities? ...

But I quickly denied this possibility. This is a paradox. Destiny is like a cogwheel that runs meticulously. A slight deviation may lead to a completely different ending.

If Lu Shengze hadn't thought that way about me, he wouldn't have seen me again, there would have been no humiliation and nurturing, Lin Xia wouldn't have been involved, and this kidnapping case wouldn't have happened.

I may never regain my memory.

Lin Xia and I will go on smoothly according to the plan and live a simple and happy life unconsciously.

And Lu Shengze will also successfully avenge his "passed" lover, maybe he will let go of everything and live a good life, or maybe he will have no interest in life because of his obsession.

However, I don't know about those. A movie with three people may be destined to have one person without a name.

But if I really want to push Lu Shengze away immediately, I can't do it. The reason why he became like this is in the final analysis because of me.

If it weren't for my "death", my boy would not have gone to the dark abyss, he would always be like the summer wind and spring rain, gentle and kind.

A sense of powerlessness overwhelmed me.

I'm almost 30 years old, and I've lived my life in a well-behaved manner, and I've never done a single bad thing. Why is fate always refusing to let me go?

In the silence of the room, Lu Shengze's sobs were extremely clear: "I'm sorry, I was wrong...I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

He didn't feel sorry for me in the past, but he was really sorry for me now.

Love is never sinful, but it is wrong to hurt innocent people in the name of love, and there is no room for excuse.

I reluctantly propped up my body and wanted to sit up, but Lu Shengze quickly came to help me, his movements were cautious as if he was afraid of breaking me, he half-rolled the hospital bed, and put a pillow behind me for me to lean on, tears still hanging down On the eyelashes, a pitiful face.

"What if I'm not me?" I realized that I was so stingy at this moment that I couldn't shed a tear, and I could still ask this sentence cruelly.

Lu Shengze understood my question, and shook his head in panic: "No, no..."

"I will only fall in love with you—" he explained swearingly, reaching out to hold my face in his hands, like holding a rare treasure.The cuffs of the hospital gown couldn't hang and slid back, and I suddenly noticed his wrist.

After taking off the expensive wristwatch that he had been wearing all the year round, the man's wrists revealed layer upon layer of scars, new ones covering the old ones, entrenched on the thin and fair wrist, looking hideous and terrifying.

My breath was stagnant: "You cut your wrist? When did it happen?"

Lu Shengze seemed to have discovered some unbearable secret, he quickly retracted his hand to cover the mark, stood up abruptly and took a step back.

Probably because he cried emotionally just now, his face was still flushed abnormally, his voice was choked and hoarse: "...No, you read it wrong."

Of course I wouldn't believe it. I straightened up and wanted to grab his hand, but he subconsciously took a step back, staggered for some reason, and his whole body was on the verge of falling.

I watched his body sway, and then he fell to the ground as if he couldn't support it—he fainted.

"Ozawa!" I called his name, but he didn't respond. Only then did I realize his abnormal body temperature and sick complexion.

Lu Shengze probably still had injuries on his body, but he insisted on guarding me, and maybe he had a dispute with his mother because of me; as a result of the dispute, he won.

It would be a lie to say that I don't feel distressed, but I also remembered that more than a month ago, on the night of New Year's Day, Lu Shengze's assistant came to me and told me that he was drunk. I rushed to see him, but he hugged me and cried like a child.

Lu Shengze thought I was dead, although I don't know what kind of misunderstanding happened in the middle, but it should be my "death day" that day.

I can hardly imagine how sad he must have been during those days and nights when I "died".

He will go to rescue the kidnapped Lin Xia, which shows that he is not completely broken, he is still that lonely boy in his bones——

I tried my best to press the paging bell on the bedside, and tears finally began to flow down my cheeks and into the corners of my mouth, giving me a bitter taste.

The door seemed to be touched by something, and there was a slight sound. I thought it was someone coming, and said with difficulty: "Doctor! He fainted, hurry up...cough cough..."

I choked and coughed twice for speaking too quickly, and then I found that there was no one, but the wind knocked the door.

Lu Shengze's tall body fell to the ground motionless, I was a little anxious, and pressed the paging bell several times in a row.

After a few minutes, the doctors and nurses hurriedly opened the door and came in, followed by several other people.

I saw Ms. Cheng supported by Lin Xia, and Mrs. Lu with two bodyguards. The two ladies looked like old acquaintances, and they all looked tired.

As soon as Mrs. Lu came in and saw her son lying on the ground, she asked two bodyguards to carry him back to her ward, and the doctors and nurses followed him halfway.

In the chaos, I vaguely heard her crying and saying to the unconscious Lu Shengze: "Shengze, mom will never force you anymore, mom is wrong..."

A group of people left my ward, and Lin Xia and Ms. Cheng stayed behind.The rest of the nurses did a routine examination for me. After confirming that I was recovering well, the attending doctor talked with Ms. Cheng for a while and explained the precautions.

When the doctor was talking to Ms. Cheng, I was looking at Lin Xia, and Lin Xia was also looking at me.

He seemed to be in good spirits. His half-length hair was tied neatly behind his head, revealing a young and handsome face. The bruises on his face had almost dissipated, and only his neck was still wrapped with a bandage.

After these days, he seems to have matured a lot suddenly, with a layer of melancholy hanging between his brows, and an incomprehensible light flickering in his eyes.

Before I could speak to him, Ms. Cheng had finished communicating with the doctor. The doctor opened the door to go out. She walked towards me and said to Lin Xia who was beside me, "Xiao Lin, can you go out first?"

Her tone was unprecedentedly gentle, Lin Xia looked at me again, then turned to her, nodded and said: "Okay, Auntie. Pay attention to your body, don't get too excited, and call me if you need something."

After he finished speaking, he turned around and left the ward, his steps were fast, as if some kind of escape.

I looked away from the closed door, Ms. Cheng stroked Weishuang's temples, pulled a chair and sat down beside my bed.

"You remember." Her tone was sure.

With nothing to deny, I nodded: "Yes."

Ms. Cheng looked at me with a distant gaze, and calmly recalled: "I was the one who took you away back then."

"It was Mrs. Lu who asked someone to forge a copy of your death record, forged a new identity for us, and gave me a large sum of money." Ms. Cheng's eyes seemed to have tears, and I suddenly realized that you were so close. Surprisingly, she was so old that there were deep lines at the end of her eyes.

She continued, her voice choked with sobs: "We are mothers with the same disease, Madam Lu doesn't want her son to be gay, and I can't accept that you are like Ji Li... I thought you might not be able to wake up, but I I still want to take you away."

"I didn't expect you to wake up and forget about that little bastard—I'm so happy, I thought God opened my eyes..." She stopped and wiped the corners of her eyes with her hand.

"But Xiao Lin is right, love cannot be changed." My mother, Ms. Cheng, a strong woman who never smiles, mentioned the word "love" in front of me for the first time.

She shed tears silently, with a bitter and gentle smile on her face: "Mom loves you. Mom has made mistakes many times. This time, you make your own choice. Xiao Lin, he is a good boy."

Ms. Cheng laughed while crying, held my hand tightly and continued: "And Xia Ze...Lu Shengze, he really loves you too—my son is so outstanding, he deserves to be loved by everyone."

Hearing this, I couldn't help the nasal pantothenic acid.I opened my arms towards her, and she leaned over to hug me knowingly, and whispered in my ear: "It's my mother who is sorry for you."

I took a deep breath, shook my head, and hugged her tighter: "Mom...it's all over."

At this time, it is meaningless to pursue who is right and who is wrong. Time has given us the truth, but there will be no compensation. We still have to bear all the consequences.

Ms. Cheng was held by me to calm down for a while, and then let me go. She smiled at me with red eyes: "I'll ask Xiao Lin to come in."

When Lin Xia came in, her eye circles were also red, as if she had just cried.

"You know that too." I said almost with certainty.

Lin Xia tilted her head in confusion, and asked me: "Know what?"

His acting skills have always been very good, and I couldn't tell for a while whether he really didn't know, or he was pretending not to know.