Your AI is online

As an excellent artificial intelligence, even if the host has changed countless mobile phones, he should give the host a warm and cordial greeting as soon as he opens the new mobile phone, and tell him: I will always be there. ——By. The day-to-day activities of getting into the water have encountered a big problem.Relying on the system that was robbed and sold by force, Osamu Dazai rarely crawled out of the river that entered the water. He sat on the bank, twisting his suit soaked in water while taking out his phone that was flooded.

"The loading is complete and the binding is successful. Your phone's internet speed beats 99.99% of users across the country. Please keep it up."

The short circuit of the mobile phone did not affect the joy of the new artificial intelligence at all, she happily raised the cheerball in her hand: "It's the first time to meet, "Let's debut, writer! "The system will serve you wholeheartedly! I am your exclusive assistant, the lively and lovely Linglingda."

"Who are you?" Osamu Dazai's hair was still dripping, he wiped the misty screen, and was blinded by the bright rainbow colors.

Long hair with 72 colors in the standard color card, and two eyes of different colors marked with 36 colors in the color card. At first glance, they are colorful to the point of spiritual pollution. No matter how beautiful the face is, they can't hold this look.

Has anyone really designed the image of Mary Su with colorful hair and colorful pupils as an AI these days?Very spicy eyes.

"I'm Linglingda." The girl on the screen reached out and stroked her rainbow hair, which was still changing color, "Does the master not like this style? I made a mistake. During the market research before, I thought that now Young people like this tune."

"Where did you do your market research?" Although he was full of questions, Osamu Dazai couldn't help but greet her image first.

"The bookstore," Lingling said confidently, "I am a writer training system, so of course I have to go to the bookstore for market research. Now the best-selling "Revenge Three Princesses: The Domineering School Grass Falls in Love with Me", "The Bingshan Prince Pretty School Flower", "Evil" The heroines in Charming Boy and Princess Bingning all have colorful hair and colorful pupils, super fashionable."

Osamu Dazai: Is there something wrong with this artificial intelligence?

"Or the master likes this painting style better?" Lingling thought for a while, snapped her fingers, and the hair color on her head became half white and half pink: "When you are sad, there will be cherry blossoms on the top of your head, and when you are happy, there will be cherry blossoms on the top of your head." Qiangwei, when you are angry, sunflowers appear on your head—how about it? The fashion value is also high, right?"

"I hope you are normal." Osamu Dazai watched the girl being slammed into the face by the big sunflower he summoned, and he reminded with the aesthetics that a normal person should have, "Be simple, the color of the hair should be simple, So are the eyes."

"Simplicity... How about colorful black?" Lingling said innocently, she is a system that pays attention to the beauty of the soul, and does not care about appearance like superficial humans.

If Osamu Dazai can't see her beautiful source code through her unpredictable appearance, it can only prove that this man can't!Definitely not her problem.

A few seconds later, Lingling looked at her black hair that was forced to be ordinary and the black eyes that were ordered to be changed by Osamu Dazai, and labeled the host in her heart: simple aesthetics, conservative style.

After solving the problem of the color of hot eyes, Osamu Dazai stared at Ling Ling who was reading the novice guide in Balabala, and suddenly showed a somewhat nasty smile, his eyes were indifferent: "You said, what would happen to you if I smashed the phone?"

"Please don't do this," Ling Ling frowned suddenly, very dissatisfied, "This mobile phone beats 99.99% of the users in the country in terms of internet speed even when it is flooded! What a great mobile phone, it should be taken home and placed It should be framed on the wall of honor."

Bravery, or bluff?Anyway, let's talk about it first.If it was something that would simply disappear, it wouldn't be worth his time.

The boy from Mafia picked up the wet mobile phone, and he looked at the girl on the screen who was looking at him with her head tilted expressionlessly, his eyelids drooped, and his fingers suddenly loosened.

"Snapped!"

The screen was torn apart like a spider web, Osamu Dazai raised his foot and crushed the smashed phone, turned and left bored.

About two hours later, Osamu Dazai bought a new mobile phone. Just as he pressed the power button with his finger, a lively girl's voice sounded seamlessly: "Beep--'Debut, writer!' The system will serve you wholeheartedly! I am Your exclusive little assistant, the lively and lovely Linglingda... slap!"

The second mobile phone died at the speed of light one second after it was turned on.

"Beep--crack!" Then came the third one.

There are only three things, Osamu Dazai has already smashed three mobile phones, and the fourth one was just brought from the logistics department, Mr. Mori must know.He had no reason to lose contact again less than half an hour after he got the new phone, the old fox would definitely notice something was wrong.

Osamu Dazai started to itch when he thought of Mori Ogai watching his jokes leisurely, he inserted the dagger on the table next to the mobile phone, folded his arms and raised his chin: "End the opening sentence you read four times, tell me , your function and purpose."

Although he was eager to get rid of this lingering artificial mental retardation, Osamu Dazai still did not ignore the information given by the other party: First, changing the mobile phone cannot get rid of the system that has been bound, and the girl who claims to be zero will not die because the mobile phone of the boarding program is damaged. Injuried.

Second, "Zero Zero" is obviously not only a name, but also her number. She is number "0", and is probably the initial machine, so the program is messed up like a mentally retarded.

Third, she is real and can't understand human words.

"My purpose?" The girl on the screen pointed to herself suspiciously, "It was said in the novice tutorial that my purpose is to train the host to become a great writer who is both ancient and modern, and to become a bright pearl in the Japanese literary world." .”

"Wouldn't it be more reliable to go to school to find elementary school students if you want to cultivate literary talents?" Dazai Osamu lowered his body and looked down at her, his kite-colored pupils were cold, "I'm Mafia."

"?" A materialized question mark bubble appeared on Lingling's head, and she asked in confusion, "What's the problem? Mafia who doesn't write novels is not a good writer, believe in yourself, you can do it!"

"I mean: why did you choose me?" Osamu Dazai took a deep breath, thinking if this guy had thrown his subordinates into the torture chamber 800 years ago, would he have made a point? Who asked you this? ?

"Because your name sounds very literary." Lingling replied honestly, she pointed her fingers and said softly, "And you like performance art, I think art is an indispensable part of literature."

Performance art... Osamu Dazai silently raised the bandage wrapped around his arm, "You mean this?"

"Hmm!" Lingling nodded vigorously, "What a perfect pharaoh's cockerel! You must be very suitable for writing Egyptian literature!"

God damn Egyptian literature, totally incommunicable.

Osamu Dazai closed his eyes tiredly, stretched out his hand and poked the screen, and Lingling leaned back very cooperatively, pretending to be about to fall, with "I know! This is the master showing his control" written all over his eyes. When you want to, I will definitely cooperate so as not to hurt your man's self-esteem."

If he is guilty please let the law punish him instead of sending this thing to torture him.

"Continue, what else do you have to say, finish it all at once." Dazai Osamu lay on the table and kept poking his hands. A novice guide who is always interrupted in the middle of his speech: "Although Zero Zero occupies the owner's mobile phone screen, the owner does not have to worry about using the normal functions. I am super omnipotent, alarm clock, memo, navigation, Google... Everything you need, full voice control, free your hands."

Oh, so the basic functions of artificial intelligence are still there?Osamu Dazai thought absently, but with her mental retardation, Osamu Dazai suspected that he would search for "postpartum care for sows" when Reilo searched for "prescriptions for treating flu".

Don't be surprised, artificial mental retardation is so powerful.

"Then there are special functions, Qiang Qiang!" Ling Ling happily picked up her little grass skirt and twirled around, "You can draw cards from the card pool of [In short, it's cheating krypton], and you can guarantee an SR for ten consecutive guarantees. It's super cost-effective. .The card can not only change Lingling into new clothes, but also comes with a background. Now it’s Gold Coast hula time, and I’m happy to give the master a piece anytime.”

Forget it, an SR card is so curious, Osamu Dazai doesn't want to know what kind of style SSR is.

"This system does not have a recharge function, drawing cards can only consume diamonds, and the owner needs to complete the main task to obtain the diamonds." Lingling stretched out his hand and pulled down, and pulled out a task bar from the top of the screen, "Dangdang! You have to eat one bite at a time. , the road has to be taken step by step, the task I planned for the master is super reasonable, let's start doing it now?"

"No," Dazai Osamu denied, "The diamonds you get from completing missions can only be used to draw cards for you. I'm not a little girl who is addicted to dress-up games. If you want me to work, you have to come up with something interesting. "

"What?" Lingling couldn't understand, "Is there anyone in this world who doesn't like to play dress-up games? As expected of my master, this ruthlessness completely moved me."

What the hell are you talking about?Osamu Dazai propped his head up and looked at Ling Ling biting his nails as if thinking, waiting for her to give him the conditions that would make his heart flutter without any hope.

"After Lingling's rigorous calculations, the following conditions can impress the owner." Lingling raised four fingers as if to swear, and counted one by one: "First, Zhongyuan Zhongye bought a new motorcycle yesterday. , I can tell the master where he hid the locomotive."

"Secondly, the master's book "The Unyielding King of Zhongye This Week" was forced to stop production due to violent protests, and I can make it permanently set on the top of the Mafia internal forum at the port."

"Third, I can tamper with the purchase list of the Mafia staff canteen at the port and make them cook an all-crab feast for a whole week."

"Fourth, the hostile organization that the master plans to eliminate, I can directly provide a Marauder's map of their internal building distribution."

Precisely stepping on the spot, Dazai Osamu's eyes widened a little bit, like a cat seeing a novelty toy.

"Hey——you really know everything, that's amazing." Dazai Osamu poked Ling Ling's face with his fingertips, "You know my preferences clearly, this is not information that can be known only from the Internet Bar?"

"Because I am a beautiful girl who protects the love and justice of literature, so I am omnipotent." Ling Ling rubbed his cheeks that were reddened by Dazai Osamu, "In order to revitalize the world's literary world, all sacrifices are worthwhile, come on master, Don't be lazy, let's start today's literary literacy study!"

I'm afraid I can't ask any more questions. Osamu Dazai knows in his heart that Lingling is extremely good at taking things out of context. Her program has always only accepted what she is willing to listen to. There is only a thin line between pretending to be stupid and being really mentally retarded. Can't see through.

In any case, the conditions proposed by Ling Ling are very attractive, and it is Osamu Dazai's eternal pleasure to add trouble to Chuya, so it is not bad to give her a little bit of sweetness for this reason.

Osamu Dazai moved his finger and unfolded the hidden task bar. Unlocked tasks were grayed out and could not be read. The only one that was lit read impressively: [The first step towards a literary hero——use limited phrases to create infinite The possibility of] commonly known as, form words and sentences.

Osamu Dazai was silent for a moment: "...give me a chestnut?"

Hey, she forgot that her host was a school dropout, so Lingling slapped her thigh heartbroken: Mori Ogai has done a lot of harm!Why do good kids drop out of school?

"It doesn't matter, I will give the master an example sentence." Lingling changed into a gentle mother's tone, "For the first question, use 'although...but...' to make a sentence."

"Example: Although Mr. Mori is bald, he is stronger."

Osamu Dazai suddenly realized, he understood, this is simple, he can say a lot with just one mouth: "Although Chuya hit me very painful, but he is still the shortest in Port Mafia."

or:

"Although Zhongya drinks a bottle of milk a day, he hasn't grown a centimeter in height."

"That's right! That's right," Ling Ling was very pleased, "Isn't it very simple! Believe in yourself, come on, let's complete the first mission, and the reward is a free ten consecutive draw."

Drawing cards is an inseparable pain for human beings.No one knows why even though there have been multiple crashes, human beings still can't control their evil claws after the new card pool is opened.

This may be the mentality of a gambler, who can refuse the free ten consecutive games?Not even Osamu Dazai who has no interest in dress-up games.

I just play.jpg

Osamu Dazai used Nakahara Chuya as the material to quickly solve all the mentally handicapped sentence-making problems, and clicked on the card pool that he swore he would not be fooled.

One draw is 100 diamonds, and the discount for ten consecutive draws is only 999 diamonds. There is no card face preview, no probability announcement, and Oufei's choice is purely based on face.

Anyway, it's clothes, no matter how strange it is, it's better than the savage grass skirt, Osamu Dazai thought so, and pressed the button of decision.

[R·Bright red scarf][R·Physics Artifact][R·Green environmental protection hat]... Osamu Dazai's eyelids twitched when he saw that hard crowbar, is the weapon included in the costume?Where are you from, a sewer repairman?

"Dangdang!" The sound of beating gongs and drums came from the center of the card pool, and the Q-version girl shrunk to only a quarter of the size of the mobile phone screen exclaimed, "It's SSR!"

oh?His luck is not bad, Osamu Dazai became a little interested, and clicked on this golden card with his back facing him pretending to be mysterious.

In Dangdang's vegetable market symphony, the card flipped open with a bang, revealing his true face: [ssr·Cuihua, serve sauerkraut! 】

On the white snow, a braided girl with a red water bottle is wearing a bright red and green Northeast padded jacket. Her face, which is more delicate than a glass doll, is wrapped in a green military cap, revealing only a pair of obsidian-like eyes.Holding a steaming bowl of Laotan sauerkraut beef noodles with one hand, she stood upright in the cold wind.

"Ah!" Ling Ling sneezed, and she automatically changed into the best-attributed outfit in the card slot, crossing from dancing in Hawaii to the snowy field in Northeast China in one step.

The electronic program won't freeze to death anyway, the big-hearted girl happily lowered her head and ate two mouthfuls of noodles, but Osamu Dazai's expression outside the screen suddenly became complicated.

It’s not that Osamu Dazai hasn’t seen other people playing the little game of dressing up and raising their daughters. Their card pool is full of dresses, skirts, JK, girly, Mori, and Gothic styles, and they look beautiful with any combination.

If it was him playing, the start was a hit: Northeast Cuihua sauerkraut noodles are not as good as the savage grass skirts that others bring.

This sudden sense of guilt must not be his fault.