Stockholm syndrome

I never thought that Li Weiran would disappear so suddenly, he didn't even say hello to me.Maybe from the moment I say break up, everything between us has nothing to do with each other.He even moved up the time to go to England, should I thank him for his thoughtfulness.

When I go home from study at night, I will lock myself in the room.I lay on my small desk, staring at the box of scalpels at the foot of the table in a daze.My dad inspires me by keeping his favorite set of scalpels on my desk, which I have to admit is really beautiful and incredibly sharp.When I was young, holding a pencil sharpener, I accidentally scratched my hand.That scar is still on my finger, faintly visible.I was stunned for a while, and finally couldn't bear to open the box containing the knives, took out a knife with the shortest blade, pulled up the sleeve, and scratched my arm.

Don't get me wrong, I'm still actively loving life, it just makes me feel better doing so.It's like most people have the habit of smoking and drinking when they are in a bad mood and under heavy pressure.Knowing that it's bad for your health, you can't help but do it.Looking back now, this was probably the most stupid thing I did when I was young.There are many ways to vent, and I chose the worst one.

Then something happened. Since then, I have always cherished my body very much. No matter what happens, I will not choose to abuse myself.

This is the last thing I want to mention. In March 2003, SARS broke out in Beijing.

I remember very clearly that it was not long after the school started, and the school had just organized the registration for the college entrance examination.When I got home that day, my mother unexpectedly did not work overtime, and my father was also there.It was the first time I saw them look so serious.The announcer’s voice came from the TV. They don’t like to watch TV when I’m at home, for fear of affecting my study. Actually, I’m not very obsessed with TV.I like reading books more than TV, of course they are books that have nothing to do with study.

"Achen, come and sit." My mother patted the seat between her and my father.I changed my slippers and walked over, and the TV camera flashed a scene of a relatively famous hospital in Beijing.Then the announcer began to introduce the SARS.That was the first time I heard the name of SARS, the word was still very foreign to me.

Just as I was staring at the TV screen, trying to figure out what SARS was, I suddenly heard a clicking sound in my ears.It was the sound of a lighter, and my dad actually smoked at home.He doesn't drink alcohol, and he smokes when he feels uncomfortable or under great pressure. Sometimes he has a relatively large operation, and he can even smoke a pack because of nervousness.It's just that he has never smoked in front of my mother, what happened today.

My first reaction at the time was that my dad was going to divorce my mom, and I scared myself to death.Immediately shook my hand to shake my mother's hand, carefully checking her reaction.Surprisingly, my mother didn't say anything, just sighed.

"Mom, what's wrong?"

"Achen, have you seen the case mentioned on TV?"

"I see. What's the matter?"

"This is an infectious disease for which there is currently no vaccine or effective treatment."

"It's okay. You saw on TV that there were only ten fatal cases in Beijing. It may be that the elderly have poor immunity." My dad didn't explain to me systematically what infectious diseases are, and my understanding of medicine is still limited. layer stuff.But it is still very clear what an infectious disease is, maybe it is because I am used to living a comfortable life.I will never believe that there will be a large-scale lethal epidemic.

"The broadcast on TV is too conservative. Our hospital has treated nine cases of this kind, and four of them died, all young people. The remaining five are not good enough." After finishing this sentence, my mother said, Hold my hand instead.

"Mom, are you in danger!?" I grabbed my mother's shoulder. My father is a surgeon, so it's safe not to have direct contact with infectious diseases.But my mother is the head nurse of the upper respiratory department.

"I will be careful. The above has issued instructions that this is a high-risk infectious disease. The patients are all isolated. I should go to the dormitory of the hospital soon. The school should also be the same, and you may be allowed to live on campus together."

"Xiaomei." After a long silence, my dad spoke.He stubbed out the cigarette and looked back at my mother. "Why don't we quit, the family has enough money. You don't want to go to work, okay?" My dad's eyes were a little red, I don't know if it was from the smoke or because of excitement.

"Lao Ye..." My mother held my father's hand, I don't know how long I haven't looked at them carefully.The busy life makes me not in the mood to pay attention to these trivial details.I don't know when an age spot appeared on the back of my mother's hand.Seeing this scene, I felt a sharp pain in my heart.I put my hand over their intertwined hands.My mother's hands are very thin, and I stick to her protruding knuckles.Wrap her hand tightly.

"We're all fine." My dad opened his arms and held me and my mom in his arms.My dad hasn't hugged me since I went to junior high school. The three of us stick together so tightly that we don't seem to be afraid of anything anymore.No matter how horrible the epidemic is, it will pass.In this small house, our family just snuggled together, just like when I was very young, I was sandwiched between them, hugged tightly by my parents.The heart is filled to the brim. "Xiaomei, you must be careful. When Chen'er is admitted to university, we still have a table for guests. You must be careful."

"I know. You two too. Ah Chen, there are a lot of people in the school. If you see someone who is coughing and catching a cold, stay away. Mom brought you some masks, and you will wear them later. You must be fine, you are a mother." Lifeblood." My mother turned around and raised her hand to draw on my face.

"Mom..." I wanted to speak to reassure my mother, but suddenly I found myself speechless.Those words are stuck in the throat.I looked at my mother, and there were more wrinkles on her face.She is a native of the south, and was assigned to Beijing after graduating from nursing school.There is no one in the family anymore. Back then, her family was a landlord, and life was difficult when she was young.Grandpa left early, and it was grandma who brought her up alone. As a result, my grandma died just after my mother graduated.

My mother only told me about this once, when I was 14 years old, when I went back to my hometown in Suzhou with her to visit my grandma’s grave.She said that their house was like a heavy broken carriage, she sat on it, and my grandma was always pulling it.Finally, she came to pull the cart, and when grandma was sitting on it to rest, grandma disappeared.My mom is the strongest woman I've ever met.Maybe she is greedy for money, loves vanity, and has all kinds of small problems, but she can't hide her forbearing and kind nature.

That day our family hugged each other and sat on the small sofa in the living room.Listening to the TV announcer repeating the SARS epidemic.Guangzhou has been designated as an epidemic area.It won't be long before Beijing is about the same.My mother's job is too dangerous. She is old and in poor health. If she gets sick, the consequences will be disastrous.If I could, I wish I could work for her and she would stay at home instead.For a moment, I even wanted to be with my dad and lock my mom in the house, not letting her go anywhere, not letting her touch that horrible thing, no job, no shame.As long as you can live well, it doesn't matter.I'm afraid of death, terribly afraid.

The next week, my mother moved into the dormitory of the unit, and the epidemic became more serious, and everyone in their department was quarantined.Only my dad has a cell phone at home, and he gave it to my mom.Call us father and son every day to report that we are safe.During that time, the happiest thing every day was hearing my mother say that I was fine from the phone.

In April, the epidemic in Beijing completely broke out. There are not many day students in X Middle School, and the school vacated a half-sized dormitory building to take in all the day students.This can ensure the safety of students to the greatest extent.My dad took me to school with my luggage, took my temperature, and I was let in.Through the iron gate, my dad held my hand tightly. His voice was not very clear with the mask on, but I could still feel the excitement. "Chen'er, you have to study hard. Take care of yourself and call home." In the end, he just called my name over and over again.

"Dad, my mother and I are not at home, what do you do?"

"Silly boy, your dad is so grown up, can he still starve himself to death?" My dad winked his eyes, probably wanting to smile at me and put on a reassuring expression.But nothing can be done.

A parent next to him who came to see off his daughter suddenly started crying in his arms. Hearing her cry, I suddenly thought of my mother, how is she doing now, I haven't received her safety call today. "Dad! Or I won't go to school." I wanted to run out the door, but was dragged away by the security guard.

"Dad, I can learn at home. I study well, not necessarily at school. I will cook for you. Okay." I reached out to grab my dad's arm, and his eyes were also red.Taking a few deep breaths, I forced my fingers apart.

"Study hard. I'm leaving." My dad turned his head and left. No matter how I called him behind him, he didn't look back.I know he is doing it for my own good. Our building is basically filled with doctors and nurses from Hospital M, and the hospital is the place where infections are most likely to occur.How can he let me rest assured when he left me and went back alone.