Every day I feel like I'm going to be confused [entertainment circle]

The dumb girl's notebook and pen were thrown into the ditch. Paper and pens are not cheap things. She hurriedly searched for them, and did not return home until night accompanied by the sound of insects. On the side, she bowed her head and wrote a sentence: "If I was better, would they like me?"

"Yes." The teacher smiled palely, with lingering fears in his heart, "just don't run around like this again."

The dumb girl nodded, but didn't say why she went to such a remote and remote place. Naturally, the teacher didn't ask. They didn't have too much effort to find out the truth, they just thought it was an accident.

Xiao Yanjiao held Xu Liao's hand and walked back together with him, with her head lowered. The little girl was suppressed by the heavy story. When the show was over, she was sitting with the crew, already a little tired, shrunk in the Xu Liao asked softly under his arm: "Little Daddy." She called sweetly, it was the regret of the mute girl's death, and choked up in a low voice, "There is no such thing in the world, right?"

"Yes." Xu Liao replied softly, "There is no such thing."

Xiao Yanjiao was relieved, she fell asleep easily, this drama was nothing but a nightmare to her, and it disappeared without a trace when she woke up.

In the evening, Xu Liao made another phone call with Ying Su, but he was speechless. He didn't know when this suffering would end, he was out of breath, and everyone couldn't find out.He was so powerless and hated so much, the saint-like teacher was in tears, but he was full of anger, wishing to kill this useless self, wishing to hide secretly and cry, wishing to give up all this to completely liberate himself.

Really tired.

Ying Su also let him, and the sound of breathing sounded steadily at the other end.

How could he be so determined.

Xu Liao suddenly felt resentment, everyone in this world might accompany him to hell, but Ying Su was steadfast and dismissive of this.Not only the teacher, but also the malice of the villagers poured into this body. He deeply understood the teacher, filled with viciousness and hatred, wishing to give back madness and malice to this filthy world.

However, those warmth and kindness were cowardly hidden, and Xu Liao almost died.

The relationship between Xiao Yanjiao and Xu Liao quickly became better because of the filming, Wang Xiaochan would occasionally joke that the first time the two of them met did not go well, but then they were closer than anyone else.Children are sensitive by nature, aware of the fear and anxiety deeply buried in the hearts of adults, she took Xu Liao to swim in the fragrant rice, the plump grains weigh heavily, catch the fireflies that are not dead in summer, and walk in the clear stream under the canyon , she grabbed Xu Liao's hand, raised her head to look at him, blinked her big bright eyes, and said in a sweet voice, "Little Daddy, you have to be good."

Xu Liao laughed and asked her, "What's the matter, am I not well?"

Xiao Yanjiao smiled sweetly, she looked up at the distant mountains, someone in the crew came down a lot to relieve boredom, she was always likable, and those older sisters were also willing to chat with her, telling stories that were too early for her According to the plot, Xu Liao squatted down and drew his eyebrows and eyes, his voice was immature but pretending to be old-fashioned: "Look, this world's green daisy, distant mountains and green waters are all your eyebrows and eyes, if you don't show off your face Smile, this great mountain and river will all be sad."

"Where did you learn this?" Xu Liao didn't know whether to laugh or cry, and put down the small arm holding the lotus root.

Xiao Yanjiao was very puzzled: "Isn't it right?"

Xu Liao didn't know what to say, so he didn't say any more. Xiao Yanjiao leaned into his arms and said softly, "Little Papa, did you forgive them at the end of your talk?"

"Huh?" Xu Liao asked her.

"I think there is." Xiaoyan said softly, "Because the little father is so good, the dumb girl is a good boy."

will i forgive him

Xu Liao didn't know, the past was like an ugly scar planted in his heart, he didn't know if he would forgive this past, he was full of anger and pain, he coincided with the teacher, after the dumb girl died he was almost decadent and helpless, The hatred is surging, but he can't vent it, he can only die cowardly.

How similar!

"Maybe." Xu Liao heard himself say, he looked towards the sky, and gently lied, in order to preserve this innocent and precious smile.

She will eventually understand that the world is so dirty that no one can be alone.

As the filming came to an end, Xu Liao became more and more reticent. He is a good actor. He is humorous when he should be humorous, and serious when he should be serious. , the pain and despair are as subtle as he has really experienced such a painful feeling.

When the mute girl died, he carried little Yanjiao out of the river. The water in late autumn was very cold, but the little girl had strong firepower. Everyone gathered around and talked softly, and helped her wipe her hair and change her clothes. She embraced her arms tightly, praising her cute and sensible girl, and her acting was lifelike.

Xu Liao's legs were cold, and the scene where the teacher collapsed in the hut was going to be filmed next. His only pillar in this world had collapsed, and his only belief remained little.Wang Xiaochan trusted him quite a bit, let him play freely, and didn't ask to force him to follow the script. He didn't know that the monster had been raised and raised, and it almost devoured Xu Liao.

He collapsed in despair in front of the camera, like a living person completely disintegrated. Not only the dumb girl drowned in the water, but also the mentally exhausted teacher.

The camera captured his subtle expressions and body movements, and everyone surrounded him. Knowing that this was just a scene, there were still a few onlookers covering their mouths, choked up, and quickly fled the set.

No one can save him, everyone is in pain and sorrow for him, but they can't break through the barrier of the screen, and they can't even give each other the slightest bit of tenderness and kindness, which makes people desperate.

When Wang Xiaochan yelled, few people could hold on anymore, the despair and pain came so terribly, as if Xu Liao had really died here once, they watched coldly, no one was willing to reach out to redeem.Even though she appreciates it like Wang Xiaochan, she still has lingering fears. She clapped her hands and raised her smiling face. Wang Tian made ginger tea for Xu Liao to drink. actor.

Wang Tian touched his hand, which was extremely cold.

The filming was over, Wang Xiaochan and others were afraid that he would not be able to slow down, so they watched him drink a large bowl of ginger soup, and pushed him to the guest house to take a hot bath and have a good rest.

"You can cry whatever you want, just don't cry for too long, there will be a surprise later." When she took the door, Wang Tian smiled and said a word, followed the big guys to go down, they discussed playing cards together today .

Xu Liao had no tears. The monster finally broke free from his shackles. Without hesitation, he dug up the flesh and chose to eat it. He turned his head and silently stared at the distant mountains outside the window. body, cold sweat soaked the bedding, so desperate.

……

It was raining when Ying Su came, and the mountain road was not easy to walk. The suit jacket, which was enough to buy all the cars in the village, was used to keep out the rain. Wang Xiaochan held up a small broken umbrella shyly, and said a little tremblingly: "I'm sorry. , Mr. Ying."

"It's nothing." Ying Su raised his head to look at the lights dangling in the distance, and said slowly, "I took the liberty to come here."

Wang Xiaochan has stepped on countless stages, large and small, and experienced many award ceremonies, but she is still a literary young woman at heart. She is not good at dealing with elites like Ying Su in the workplace. Someone framed her for some reason, but Xu Liao cooperated too well with her, so he couldn't forget his love, and ran out to meet Su with incomparable hospitality.

Previously, Wang Xiaochan only contacted Ying Su on the phone, and felt that the other party had a serious personality, was serious in doing things, and had a tactful way of speaking, so he should be a good person to get along with. The rabbit in the mountains didn't know what to say for a moment, so he smirked dryly and talked to him about Xu Liao's behavior recently.

Shooting and movies are Wang Xiaochan's forte. She is reserved but proud of herself. She can hear her admiration for Xu Liao in both words and deeds. She thought that Ying Su would be happy, and that no matter how bad it was, she would deal with it politely. How could she know that the other party Shen Rushui, without any trace of complacency or pride, said slowly after a long time: "Really?"

"Yes... yes."

Wang Xiaochan flinched, not daring to say anything.

Xu Liao felt that he was probably dreaming, the distant mountains in the rain curtain blurred on the glass into Qingdai on the palette, his eyebrows and eyes were reflected, and another face slowly emerged, following the pattering The rain was instantly distorted.Ying Su came silently, he shouldn't be in this remote mountain village, let alone come today, but the temperature seems to be real.

"Xu Liao."

Ying Su sat beside him, stretched out his hand to hold the cold palm, Xu Liao belatedly recalled that he was covered in cold sweat, and tried to pull out his hand, but he was reluctant to part with the warmth and was unwilling to pull away.He didn't dare to speak, didn't dare to speak out, for fear that the mirage would disappear without a trace, so he didn't blink his eyes, as if he lost his voice.

"you are very brave."

He said so, then smiled slightly, stroked Xu Liao's equally cold forehead, and didn't care about the sweat. In fact, Xu Liao didn't know what the smile meant, but felt bewildered. I don't know if the other party laughed because he thought he was ridiculous, or if Ying Su just wanted to smile.

"You asked me if I have ever thought about what I want to do no matter what, yes." Ying Su's voice was clear and cold, like a spring flowing in the mountains, "But I have missed it forever, and I can never do it again, you Far stronger than I imagined, I let myself go into exile, but you broke it all and started all over again."

Xu Liao wept silently, and suddenly he felt less pain, so he stretched out his hand, begging for a hug like a baby, Ying Su bent down to hug him, and then kissed the corner of the tearing eye, warm, With a little "damp" meaning: "You will be better, and you will be better forever."

"I'll get better?" Xu Liao choked out from his throat, "Will you?"

Ying Su smiled at him, pressed his forehead and said softly: "Yes." Then he reached out to hold Xu Liao's beating heart, his lips were soft, "Look, you are already recovering."

This is probably a dream.

Xu Liao let himself embrace Ying Su, and the manager who was used to being like an iceberg didn't show any rejection at all. He smelled like moss in the cracks, rain at night, and the flame burning in the stove, moist and warm. It was fresh and cool, like a mint leaf chewed until tasteless in his mouth, so he hugged Ying Su tightly, the monster was beating in Ying Su's palm, and it was the first time he came to this place and survived.

"I can't help it." Xu Liao cried, "I can't help it, Ying Su, don't go, he only listens to you."

"It's not me." Ying Su sighed, "I'm not helping you, Xu Liao, it's you, you did it yourself."

He slowly let go.

The heart really didn't torture Xu Liao anymore.

Xu Liao stared at Ying Su, with tears in his eyelashes, and slowly calmed down, he withdrew his hands and held his heart that had been torn into shape, he had gnashed his teeth in pain, but now he calmed down slowly: "I thought I was going to die. He whispered, "It was still so painful just now, it tore me into two people, tore me to pieces, the pain was so painful, and then you came."

"No." Ying Su said softly, "You are not someone who will easily succumb to death, even if I am not around, you will be fine."

Xu Liao smiled softly, tears streaming down the corners of his eyes, he said softly: "Ying Su, I've thought about it for a long time, I want to kill him, I want to erase him, I want to dig him out, dig him out, I don't want to admit He, in the end I think...I want to forgive him, but I am so unwilling, I am unwilling."

"Then forgive him."

Ying Su sat quietly at night, guarding Xu Liao's sound sleep, the warmth from the beginning to the end.

It was sunny the next day, Xu Liao rarely had a good sleep, he had no dreams at night, he woke up covered with a thick quilt, Wang Tian called him to have breakfast outside the door.

Xu Liao got up in a daze, and suddenly realized after a while, ran back and forth along the guest house, everyone woke up one after another, saw him greeting, but there was no sign of Ying Su, so they sat blankly. I felt a little depressed, how could Ying Su come to this remote mountain village in the wilderness.

He thought it was just a dream, so he became absent-minded.

Wang Tian served porridge for him, and drank a large bowl by herself first, looking at him strangely and smiling.The corn porridge was sweet and delicious, Xu Liao's spirits improved a little, and he secretly laughed at himself for being sentimental, and he couldn't forget Ying Su even in his dreams.

Several major scenes have been filmed. The teacher's collapse last night was the most important plot, and there was another scene where the teacher drowned in the river with the mute girl.Wang Xiaochan was afraid that he was not in good condition, so he took pictures of the remaining fragments first. Xu Liao took pictures scatteredly, standing on the concrete floor of the school and looking at the high mountains shrouded in mist. He knew that he would never be able to see through this There is something hidden behind the mountains, like he never knows what will happen in the future.

The children were already familiar with him, running happily beside him, Xu Liao smiled slightly, sometimes playing with them, sometimes not.

After staying in this small mountain village for a few days, the production crew more or less learned a few dialects. Xu Liao was not allowed to learn. I warned the rest of the crew several times not to lead Xu Liao astray, but at the end of the day, Xu Liao still learned a few sweet and greasy dialects from Xiao Yanjiao.

The days passed and they filmed the last scene after winter had fallen enough snow.

The teacher drowned the dumb girl in the river.

The water was as cold as ice, and the crew tried their best to prepare in advance, and even built a bonfire nearby. The little girl, Jingui, naturally couldn't go into the water. She was currently studying hard at school, so she was holding a prop doll.Wang Xiaochan took off her down jacket and was trembling with Xu Liao in a short-sleeved piece, vowing to live and die with the lead actor both mentally and physically.

Xu Liao didn't know whether to laugh or cry, and put clothes on her. The female director was so cold that her lips were blue and white, and she didn't have time to appreciate the grand scene. funeral.

He remembered what Xiao Yanjiao said.

look!The indigo daisy in this world, the distant mountains and green waters are all your eyebrows and eyes. If you don't show your face and smile, this great mountain and river will all be sad.

The drunken monster staggered out of Xu Liao's body, Xu Liao stared at him happily, no longer shying away from his face that was as thin as a bone and looked extremely haggard, he was born so complete, with hands and feet, and bruises all over his body. , with the nervousness and exhaustion of excessive drinking, he left this body lightly.

She has the same face as Xu Liao, but not the same spirit.

It's not difficult at all.

The drunken past hugged the teacher who was more sad than dying, and warmed him as much as possible, so the other party also smiled, and the two stepped into the icy river, looking back at Xu Liao from a distance, tender and tolerant.

Death is not painful, and death is not all liberation.

Xu Liao's heart was echoing repeatedly, echoing with the valley, the river, and the snow-white mountain. The voice was high and firm, shouting back and forth with great vigor:

"I forgive you!"

Forgive me in the past, forgive everything, forgive those collapses and unbearables, forgive those ugliness and pain!

Forgive me who succumbed to death!

Forgive me who is obsessed with new students!

This pain has ended since the moment I let go.

Xu Liao walked into the icy river, the water vaguely submerged his head, and the cold penetrated his body, he was so cold, but never so warm.

The crew dragged him out of the river in a hurry, and the heat returned to this body. Xu Liao looked at the world wetly. The past him and his teacher slept in this snow mountain together, pure white and spotless. .The snowflakes suddenly grew bigger, and the staff complained grumblingly. His black hair was dyed with Mu Xue, his eyelashes carried thousands of mountains, and the myriad of things in the world came into view. He had never been so happy, never been so relaxed.

Wang Xiaochan was puzzled and asked Xu Liao, "Mr. Xu, why did you turn your head and smile at the end?"

Although the lens is amazing.

she muttered.

"Because there are still beautiful things in this world, the dumb girl is a good child." Xu Liao said slowly, then paused, "Xiao Yanjiao told me that the dumb girl never blamed anyone, she only worried about her adoptive father, so I think that if a child like a mute girl can be taught, he will not be full of hatred for this world at least at the moment of death."

Wang Xiaochan accepted the answer quite emotionally. She looked at the monitor several times and sighed: "This shot is really perfect. I watched it several times and I almost got goosebumps. I just don't understand why you want to do this. performance, now I understand."

After drowning in the river, Xu Liao developed a high fever, which is not surprising. The villagers were very worried and sent a lot of herbal medicines. Medicine, finally the situation did not get serious.

Most of the later dramas were small dramas. In the deep winter, Xu Liao was completely finished. The crew prepared a lot of dishes for Xu Liao. Bought the rice wine brewed by the locals. Sister Xue was so drunk that she put her arms around Xu Liao's neck and complained to him. She didn't know whether to praise him or belittle him.

Xu Liao smiled awkwardly, and apologized to the crew, but Wang Xiaochan was bold and said with a laugh: "This place is too far away, if it wasn't for filming, I wouldn't want to stay here, but fortunately, the filming is about to end, and the next We want to end our savage life, go to the luxury of life, and sink into the world of mortals!"

"You guys eat first, I'll take Sister Xue to rest." Xu Liao helped Sister Xue and asked Wang Tian to help her. When the crew asked if they wanted to help, Xu Liao waved her hand to say no.When he went upstairs, Xu Liao regretted that he slapped his face swollen to pretend to be a fat person. Although Sister Xue is delicate and soft, she is actually a gentleman. Rubbing against the wall and finally climbing up, Xu Liao was so tired that he was sweating profusely.

Sister Xue hiccupped, stared at Xu Liao carefully and said, "Little Liao'er." He pinched Xu Liao's cheek, huffy and shy, his voice could be wrung out, full of worry, "that day What did brother tell you? Could it be that I can't adapt to the place here, and my skin quality has deteriorated?"

"What did he tell me?" Xu Liao almost burst out laughing. He didn't know where Xue Jie's conjecture came from, so he smiled and said, "What can he say to me? Besides, you still expect Lao Ying to be a good friend. Are you a person? You can even tell if your skin is good or bad?"

Sister Xue twisted back and forth tenderly, puzzled: "Then he just stayed in your room and watched you sleep for half an hour?"

"He has been here?" Xu Liao was dumbfounded, "When?"

"I don't remember that." Sister Xue staggered, "It was raining one day, and he came in a car, and all his suits were ruined. When Xiao Chanchan talked to him, he didn't look too happy. Tiantian and I were interrogated for a while, but he was getting more and more unhappy, and I thought you two said something, but in the end Brother Su only said let us take good care of you, and he is leaving."

Xu Liao felt his head go crazy, and said anxiously, "Why didn't you tell me?"

"What is there to say, you are so energetic the next day, we just treat you as Brother Su and have a heart-to-heart talk with you." Sister Xue didn't know why the usually gentle and refined partner suddenly became agitated, and couldn't help being wronged, so she pouted He opened his mouth and said, "I'm afraid that if I ask you, you will think we are busy."

he came!

Xu Liao felt his throat was thirsty, that person didn't want to help him, but came to him through the night rain and breeze without sound, and lit a lamp in Yongye.

The author has something to say: This chapter has been written several times, and Mr. Li finally accepts, forgives, and tolerates himself.

I also breathed a sigh of relief.

There is no update at night, and it will be updated on time tomorrow at [-]:[-] pm