memory castration

"Self-respect?" Xu Yifei exerted a little more force on his hands, raised the corners of his mouth and began to curse, "Obviously she is a flamboyant slut, but she just likes to act like a strong woman in front of me, being pressed down like someone else all day Fucking slut, what qualifications do you have to mention these two words to me?"

It's not that I haven't been humiliated by his words of this level before, and I thought I was used to it, but now I still feel like I have been slapped a few times, and it hurts.

I have never hated someone so much in my life. If I had a knife by my side, I would really like to stab him to death with my own hands.

Seeing that I was silent all the time, Xu Yifei also stopped whining and complaining, and clasped my chin with the other hand, provocatively: "Why don't you talk?"

It's not that I don't want to talk, but I'm afraid that if I open my mouth, I will be uncontrollably greeting his ancestors for eighteen generations, so I can only try my best to suppress the hatred and put on a calm face with a poker card.

His attitude became impatient, "Speak!"

Xu Yifei is such a slut, when he spits out arrogantly, he has to be followed by the other party's hands, and he insists on wearing a willing smile on his face.

In spite of my previous personality, I had to swear a few words to get rid of my mouth addiction, and then he would swear back angrily, and when he got annoyed, he would do it, and he would swear even harder while he was fixing me.

Now I ignore him, but he is more angry than being scolded, holding my head upside down like a toy, the veins on his forehead are bulging, his fingers are pressing against my skin, ready to move, "Are you fucking deaf or dumb?"

According to the behavior of this turtle bastard, if I don't respond within ten seconds, maybe he will do something wicked.

He stepped on the point and thought for a long time, and finally wrinkled his face and squeezed out a word when he was on the verge of eruption, with a mournful voice trembling, "It hurts..."

He must have good acting skills, Xu Yifei immediately showed a choked expression, his handsome face turned pale and blue, he stared at me for a long while with hatred and anger, then turned around and left, closing the door like a bomb.

Did you just leave like that?I'm really lucky that I don't have to look at that rotten bird at last, I have to hurry up to raise my legs, and then try to escape.

After about half an hour of silence, the door was kicked open by Xu Yifei with another slam, followed by an elderly aunt with a serious face.

The aunt came over and said kindly: "I heard Mr. Xu said that you are not feeling well, did you inadvertently affect your injured leg?"

Well, the doctors have come, and at this point I have no choice but to continue pretending, "It's not the legs, it's the head... My brain is not working well, I often forget things, I can't remember anything, and sometimes it hurts badly. It’s like someone is sawing inside. Auntie, do you have any tools? Cut my head open to see if there is a malignant tumor or something inside, or why I have hallucinations all the time recently, and someone keeps talking in my ear about whether I can’t live If it grows longer... and my legs won't be limping, right? Now I don't feel like Mumu..."

No matter how serious the condition is, how can I say no matter how bad the words are, in the end I nagged and used all the poisonous curses in my life on myself.

From the corner of my eye, I occasionally caught a glimpse of Xu Yifei behind her. The corners of his mouth twitched every time I said a word, and the final twitching frequency seemed to be the sequelae of recovering from an electric shock.

Auntie seems to have a mild temper, and after I chattered for a long time, she turned to the person next to her and said, "I'm sorry, I'm not a brain doctor, and the patient's description is a bit complicated. It's recommended to go to a local big hospital for an examination first, and then find the corresponding expert in person." It's better to ask a doctor."

Xu Yifei nodded perfunctorily, and sent him out again with a few polite words.

In the afternoon, Xu Yifei asked someone to take me to the hospital again, and after going through a lot of examinations, I saw the so-called experts.

The expert looked unexpectedly young, but he was very serious and asked many insignificant questions after carefully reading the inspection report.

For example, how many bowls of rice I eat, how many hours I sleep a day, whether I often play computer games, whether I have fallen recently... etc. I have brewed a lot of illnesses, all of which are useless.

It should be because of the colder weather, I have become very sleepy recently, and I don’t have any dreams. Sometimes I lie in bed and think about something to pass the time, but I fall asleep before I think of anything, and I sleep until dawn .

He didn't eat much, and since he left Jiangcheng, he has been anorexic. What he eats is tasteless. In addition, the food made by the part-time auntie is bland, and he loses his appetite even more.

play games?There is no computer in the room at all. I eat and sleep all day long, and wake up in a daze. It is so boring to recuperate.

A few days ago I was looking for a book to read, and I was lying on the wheelchair trying to reach the shelf, but I couldn’t reach it, I almost fell but didn’t fall...

What does this have to do with illness?The expert is indeed a brick house, a vase decoration for defrauding money.

Xu Yifei didn't leave at night and had dinner with me.

Auntie uses less salt in her dishes. The braised eggplant that I asked for was steamed in a basket, shredded and mixed by hand, without any oil.Carrot broccoli, scrambled eggs with oyster mushrooms, and white soup are unappetizing.

I flipped through it twice with my chopsticks, and I felt full after smelling it. When I was about to leave, Xu Yifei stopped me.

"Why don't you eat?"

"Not hungry."

"You have to eat if you're not hungry." He stared at me like a master and said.

Damn, is this guy having a cramp in his head?I glanced at the food in disgust, "I can't eat it."

He frowned slightly, as if he was enduring my unreasonable trouble, "Then have some soup."

I don’t know what was put in the winter melon pork ribs soup, I vomited it out after taking a sip, and covered my mouth with a tissue to gag faintly.

This time I didn't pretend, I really wanted to vomit, but I didn't eat anything at noon, so I couldn't vomit anything.

Seeing that Xu Yifei had a cold face and no expression on his face, I wanted to leave, but he said again: "Drink the soup before leaving."

I was a little angry, "I don't want to drink!"

Holding the spoon, his eyes glowed, "Don't make me pour you!"

Damn it... After staring at it for a while, I picked up the bowl angrily and drank it down, then rolled the wheelchair away.

Before he walked out of the living room, his throat suddenly felt sour, and before he could cover his mouth, the soup spat out from between his fingers, splashing all over his chest and legs.

I didn't look back, I didn't want Xu Yifei to see myself in such a mess, he wanted to find pleasure from humiliating me, I couldn't let him do so.

But Xu Yifei is not me, he is in good health and his legs are sharp, he walked over leisurely in two or three steps, looked down at me with a little pity in his eyes, "Do you want me to help you?"

I can't bear his kindness, who knows if turning around will take this little charity as capital to humiliate me?

Cursing the corner of my mouth, I backed up the wheelchair and turned to go to the bathroom.

He took off his clothes and threw them into the laundry tub, then grabbed the sink and rinsed his hands, and went to the bathroom for convenience.

When I stood up from the toilet, I accidentally bumped into the wheelchair and slid down, and my two legs covered with plaster slapped and knelt on the ground. At that moment, I felt so painful that I wanted to die.

No wonder grandma used to say not to curse herself, and it came true in less than a day...

When I was groaning in agony, Xu Yifei heard the voice and walked in, saw me laying on the ground in a daze for two or three seconds, and reacted and hugged me up.

I went to the hospital twice a day, and I never dreamed that I would be so unlucky.This time it was already miserable without pretending, the cold sweat on the forehead and the broken leg bones could never be faked.

It was eleven o'clock in the evening when I returned home after repacking.

Xu Yifei didn't speak to me the whole time, his face was gloomy and he didn't know what he was thinking.

I was so sleepy, my legs hurt so bad and I couldn't keep up my spirits, I almost closed my eyes as soon as I was put on the bed.

This night was different from the usual Anwen. I had a nightmare. Xiao Ziqi was lying on the hospital bed, shirtless, looking at me with an empty heart. No, come here and give me a hug, okay?

I calmly rejected him, saying that there is so much blood on your body that it will stain my clothes.

Then he just looked at me, kept looking, kept looking... and saw me creepy.

After waking up from the dream, the first thing I saw was Xu Yifei. He was lying on his side with his arms around my waist, his sleeping face was peaceful and peaceful, and the corners of his slightly raised mouth were still childish.

I heard that people who fall asleep with a smile are very blessed. Although he experienced some things when he was young, he is now living a prosperous life through hard work, which is enviable.

He is rich and powerful now, he wants wind and rain, and no matter what wrong things he does, his elders will support him behind him. Compared with me, my childhood family suffered accidents, my life was hard as a teenager, and my love life was bumpy when I became an adult. ...

Li Xinlong?Xu Yifei?How can you who live in the clouds have the heart to trample on me who is already in the dust?What is the picture again!

"Xiaobai, don't feel bad, you still have me. I will take care of you in the future, better than grandma treats you..."

"Uncle and aunt, my brother is very good, please accept him!"

"Give me five years, and then I will let Xiaobai live in a big house and live a better life..."

"These years...you are the only thing I can do to survive."

"Isn't it great to be fucked by your own brother?"

"No one loves you more than me, we were born with the same blood..."

"noob……"

"Fang Yibai..."

……

Whose voices were constantly exchanging, I held my head with both hands, and squeezed the throbbing temples little by little, feeling that my head was already full, and something could not wait to burst out of it.

"Fang Yibai, what's wrong with you?" Xu Yifei opened his eyes and looked at me in a daze.

I have a headache, I can't speak a word, it's full of noises and quarrels, I really want to lift my skull to see what's inside!I bang my head against the wall, once or twice...

Xu Yifei held me back, with a look of astonishment, "Fang Yibai...what are you crazy about?"

I ignored him and shook my head desperately trying to shake all the noisy villains out.

He fixed my head with both hands, "Tell me what's wrong?"

I couldn't move, I struggled with my tongue out, "Head, headache...it's so noisy inside."

"That's an illusion, calm down now!"

"pain……"

He hugged me, and his voice was very gentle, "Don't move around, it won't hurt when you calm down."

"Xu...Yi...Fei," I called out his name with difficulty, "Don't make noise!"

"Okay, I'm not arguing."

"Xiao...Ziqi also...don't talk!"

"Fang Yibai..."

"Don't speak!"

"I won't talk, calm down, is it here?" He touched my forehead with his fingers, and pressed gently, "Relax..."

I closed my eyes and didn't speak, the voice in my head gradually receded, but the pain was still there, as if a steel needle was poking hard at the nerve, every time the pain made me shiver.

I want to cry, but my grandma said that a man bleeds but doesn't shed tears, and only worthless guys drop gold beans, but it really hurts!My head hurts and my legs hurt...

"Xu Yifei, are you happy to see me like this?"

"Stop talking nonsense!" His body visibly shook, and the words he scolded revealed an unusual tension.

I raised my hand to touch his face, and soon fell down weakly, "I've been pretending these days, in fact, I always remember you, but I'm afraid you'll beat me up for revenge..."

He didn't show a surprised expression, but hummed lightly, and said calmly, "I know."

"You know you didn't hit me, are you reluctant?"

Probably because my situation was miserable and the joke was too cold, he didn't say anything.

I asked again: "What did that brain specialist tell you today?"

He hugged me tighter, "I didn't say anything."

Seeing his reaction, I suddenly felt pleasantly surprised to have won the lottery. A year ago, the doctor told me about the possibility of amnesia, memory confusion, slow response, drowsiness... It seems that it has been verified now?No wonder the expert asked about insignificant things like eating and sleeping.

I was afraid before, because I was worried that I would forget Xu Yifei, and I prepared a lot of notebooks for recording, and I flew back to Jiangcheng to attend his engagement wedding, but now I am not afraid, because I have no worries in my heart.

There are some unhappy memories on the left and right. If you can forget them, it is best to forget them all. Maybe by then the head will be empty and the pain will no longer be there!

"Xu Yifei, if one day I really don't remember anything, what will happen to you?"