memory castration

After opening my eyes, I saw a strange yet familiar Xiao Ziqi.

In ancient times, a man named Zhuang Zhou dreamed that he turned into a butterfly and flew through the flowers. He was very happy about it, but after waking up from the dream, he began to wander between the dream and the reality, and could no longer tell the difference. Is he Zhuang Zhou transformed into a butterfly, or is Zhuang Zhou transformed into a butterfly in his dream?

I dreamed that I lived again, experienced a failed first love, met the young Xiao Ziqi, fell in love with Xu Yifei but was disheartened... Those episodes seemed to be real experiences, but they were clearly unfamiliar.

I raised my hand and spread my five fingers, and covered my eyes to block the bright light. Like him, I began to have doubts about the world.

At breakfast, there were only me, Xiao Ziqi, and Xu Yifei's wife Shen Xiwen at the dinner table.

Today Xiao Ziqi wore a pair of rimless glasses and a white shirt with a very bookish look. His face looked more refined and handsome, his manners were elegant and decent, and he looked like a well-bred prince.

And Shen Xiwen is also bright and generous, even if Xu Yifei is not around, she is not restrained by others, she calmly gets up after breakfast and goes out for a walk.

I was unresponsive and muddled, and the exquisite and rich Western-style breakfast tasted like chewing wax.

"Xiaobai, you don't seem to be in a good mood today, do you feel uncomfortable somewhere?"

"Maybe the jet lag is not reversed." I put down the fork and wiped the corner of my mouth, and couldn't help thinking of the scene of being humiliated by him in my dream.

Xiao Ziqi said gently: "Then don't go out in the morning, stay here and have a good rest."

I nodded, looked at him, and confirmed: "Xiao Ziqi, we have known each other for many years, right?"

The corners of his mouth froze for a moment, but he quickly recovered. Instead of answering my question directly, he asked slyly, "Did Xiaobai remember something?"

Very good, I think I have understood that last night was not only a simple dream, but a past memory that I had lost.

"No," I shook my head at him, "it's just that I suddenly feel an inexplicable familiarity with you, as if we've known each other before."

"If that's the case, it would be great." He said nonchalantly.

The autumn sun is very warm, and the beautiful manor is scattered like gold, with white houses and red roofs, and hedges covered with roses. Everything is as beautiful as in a fairy tale.

I lay on the bamboo chair and watched the big clouds in the sky rapidly change into various shapes, and I also thought about a lot of things in a mess.

Xiao Ziqi didn't go far away, but stood not far away, whispering something to the butler, and occasionally glanced here subconsciously.

I'm not in the mood to guess what this animal in human skin is thinking at the moment, that long dream almost took all the strength out of my body.

I don't know if it's too late to escape now... After I looked around for a week, I was finally dismissed by a few garden guards who looked like bodyguards.

Forget it, let's recharge our batteries first, anyway, this time I took the initiative to deliver it to my door, so I'm not afraid of losing anything.

Why not imagine what my life would be like if I never knew Xiao Ziqi?

Xu Shi works as a clerk in Ninghai, has a stable and harmonious family, and lives an ordinary and happy life from nine to five every day.

Or maybe he found a good job in Jiangcheng and took root, and he is still a lazy single nobleman.

Or make a group of donkey friends, travel around the world with a backpack on a bicycle, and sweep the street food all over the world...

So many beautiful dreams and fantasies were all destroyed by this person in front of him. Now things are not going well and he is humiliated and abandoned. He is defeated and lives like a bereaved dog. There is no one more hateful than this person in the world .

When I was gnashing my teeth at the Ministry of Culture, Xiao Ziqi came over with a plate, on which were placed two bunches of plump and round grapes, the almost transparent emerald green color looked pretty good.

He sat down next to him, peeled the grapes and brought them to my mouth. His fingers were long and slender like jade, and each finger was smooth and clean. His complexion was as fair as porcelain, which seemed more attractive than grapes.

God really loves this person, not only gave him a high-quality and extraordinary appearance, but also gave him a wolf-snake heart and insidious cunning, and he lived up to everyone's expectations and brought these innate advantages to the fullest.

"Open your mouth," he reminded me gently, the fresh flesh barely touched my lips.

He also said that in the dream, but at that time he vented the most manly filth into my mouth.

Thinking of this, my stomach began to churn endlessly, and my throat felt faintly nauseated.

When I went to bed with Xu Yifei, although it was intense and I was often injured, I was never forced to do such a thing that hurt my self-esteem. Xiao Ziqi, a pervert... What kind of mentality does he have to get along with me now?Still such a calm look!

Xiao Ziqi leaned over, "Xiaobai, are you alright?"

I wanted to vomit but couldn't vomit anything, I pushed him away with red eyes, "It's okay, I'll be fine after sitting for a while."

He smiled lightly, put the pulp that had touched my lips into his mouth, and said slowly: "This is a new variety I cultivated by myself. It is called Shiyueqing. The yield is not high. You can’t taste these two strings anywhere else.”

"October Green?" I tentatively picked one and ate it without peeling the skin. It was not as sweet and delicious as I imagined, but rather sour and unpalatable.

Xiao Ziqi seemed to enjoy this taste very much, he bent his eyes to look at me, and asked, "How do you feel?"

I said sincerely, "It's too unpalatable."

"This is the same as my love. Ordinary grapes are ripe in July and August, but they are still raw in October. Even if I irrigate with mountain springs brought in by air and take good care of them every day, their taste is so bitter."

My heart twitched, and this pervert started playing the bitterness card again. He did this every time, letting people put down all guards and embankments and then catch him by surprise.

I have known him for almost 11 years, and I have never been an opponent in terms of scheming.

All I can sit now is silence, silence all the time, sitting in silence in twos and twos.

The sun gradually rose to the top of his head, Xiao Ziqi slightly closed his eyelids, with a lonely and sad expression on his face.

When it was almost noon, Xu Yifei turned around and saw me sitting with Xiao Ziqi with a gloomy expression on his face, but he kept it secret because of his face.

He went straight to me, with an attitude like a benevolent emperor, and ordered: "Fang Yibai, go and pack your things now, I have already booked a room at the hotel."

Seeing me lying still, his tone became colder, "Why are you still sitting there?"

"I'm thinking about how to answer, should I kneel down and say "long live" to thank the Lord Long En, or should I kowtow to the ground to sacrifice to the eight generations of ancestors?" I grabbed the grapes from the plate and stuffed them into my mouth one by one.

My love is only fucking like this October green!The first death, the second torture, all the sweetness and happiness are fantasies, nonsense!fart!

Xu Yifei raised his eyebrows, "Fang Yibai, you have the ability to repeat what you just said!"

I looked at him, but barely swallowed the words. He was always fierce to me, and coupled with his unrecognizable fiery temper, it was hard to predict whether he would beat me up in front of Xiao Ziqi.

He has practiced boxing and Sanda, coupled with regular fitness, ten squares and one white are not enough for him to punch three times and kick two kicks.

If you can bend and stretch your man, what are you afraid of if you lose face?I shrunk my neck, and was about to get up and run away, but Xiao Ziqi protected me, "Yifei, you scared Xiaobai."

Xu Yifei put his hands in his pockets, and said arrogantly: "Get out of the way, I didn't talk to you."

Xiao Ziqi frowned slightly, took out his phone and pressed it twice, calmly said: "Miss Shen, Yifei has returned, now Huateng is waiting for you."

Xu Yifei said angrily, "Why did you call that woman over?"

Xiao Ziqi said: "As a friend, I have to remind you of the wording. If I remember correctly, she should be Mrs. Zun now. She is very anxious about your disappearance yesterday, so she wants me to inform her as soon as I have news."

Xu Yifei sneered, "Che, do you think I'm afraid of a woman?" His hand passed through Xiao Ziqi and passed it to me, "Fang Yibai, come with me."

I watched dumbly as his hand stayed in the air, and then slowly retracted my fingers into a fist.

"Sorry, I have to visit Xiao Ziqi's ranch this afternoon."

I'm really fed up with his always condescending attitude, what am I in his eyes?A slave at his feet?A lunatic who abandoned his self-esteem because of his obsession?Or as he said, free bitches and dogs?

Xiao Ziqi looked at me unexpectedly, an incredible light flashed on the glass lens, he hesitated for a while and put Xu Yifei aside, "Xiao Bai, let's go there now, we will eat roasted pigeon in the pasture at noon."

Under Xu Yifei's astonished gaze, I passed him by.

In the past, I watched him leave in the same place with a heartbroken heart, and walked further and further away, but this time it was him who watched me.

I just don't know, is he in the same mood as I used to be?

"Fang Yibai, you can get out!"

"You say you love me?"

"Fang Yibai, wait for me, I will come back to you after divorce!"

Xu Yifei, the domineering Xu Yifei, the arrogant Xu Yifei, the Xu Yifei who always disappoints and saddens me... I should not be able to continue loving you.