As a background board, I want to pursue Dazai

The moon is like water.

My confession is not a desire to ask him, but a plea to heaven and the goddesses in heaven.My brain does not have the slightest idea of ​​the future, that is to say, there is no success or failure.

"Well," he said, "I know—"

ahh-

My love is already like morning dew, so clear that he can see the bottom at a glance.

I clearly cheered myself up a long time ago, but at this moment, whether it is the sound of dripping water in the courtyard, or the rustling noise of leaves being blown by the wind, my courage is firmly surrounded by it.

"I know." He said it again, as if speaking to himself.

He said, "There's something more—"

"—something I have to deal with, not just about how my past and my future are reconciled, there are a lot of decisions I have to make, and besides that, there's something wrong with bringing them all to nothing. Harmony."

Dazai paused, and he said, "Can I give you an answer after I have dealt with all these?"

I feel my nose sour—

I thought it must be because of the pain from the wound on my leg.

On the bright side, at least I didn't get rejected.

Dazai-san just has things to deal with before that.

—He doesn't hate me, does he?

What has been the behavior that has given me strength and made me want to resist his loneliness?

Is it what he has been doing to me for so long?

Surely he wouldn't treat other people the same way he treats me?

I don't know if I'm comforting myself, I started to think wildly - for example, he has imagined that my life and his life will have more intersections, and he has to deal with things that will affect the future of both of us, or Obstacles he had to overcome.

I seem to be making a huge gamble. I would rather he simply reject me, let me give up, and let me miss him forever.

I probably cried, and fluid came out of my eyes.

"sorry, I……"

"Yi Jun." He interrupted me, "Do you still remember the two conditions you owe me?"

"……Remember."

"Now, I want to use one."

I am like a precision instrument, and he is the only operator, my tears are no longer turbulent with his words, Dazai's bright eyes are not inferior to the moonlight.

"First of all, you have to understand that Osamu Dazai is not the wonderful person you imagined." He said, "And on this basis, I will propose a condition that may be beyond your ability, and you can completely refuse me."

"Before I respond to you—"

His melancholy, the kind of melancholy that merged with the night, became trembling, and even a little begging.

"Yi Jun, can you...don't fall in love with anyone other than me?"

I got carried away in his answer, my tears stopped abruptly, and I couldn't give any reaction except to stare at his face.

Before I could respond, Dazai turned into a self-deprecating expression——

"Even if I can't respond to you right away, I hope that the only person you like is me--is it bad?" He said, "Just like what we agreed on earlier, if you think this request is unreasonable and excessive, you can refuse..."

"I see." I was afraid that he would regret it, and that he would say something demeaning himself, "Mr. Dazai is going to solve a very important matter, right?"

"……Um."

enough.

That's enough.

I also understand how difficult it is for him to take this step.

At least in Osamu Dazai's life blueprint, I am no longer "meaningless", but already has weight in his heart, as I said - I am very good at waiting and patience.

He just wasn't ready for others to set foot on his island.

"Mr. Dazai..." There seemed to be a bit of crying in my voice, but I knew it was different this time. My tears were not from pure sadness or disappointment, but a seed of joy was planted.

"Can I withdraw something early?"

"What does Yi Jun want?"

"Can I...can I give you a hug?"

The young man was obviously taken aback for a moment, then he opened his arms towards me.

The scene in front of me made me almost forget to breathe. I took two steps forward without even noticing that the hot towel tied to my leg slipped off.

I stepped forward and hugged him.

Mr. Dazai is very thin, and I can feel the lines of his body through the thin yukata, whether it is the waist and abdomen touching me, or his slightly undulating chest.Because of the even breathing, the temperature of the closer body that I accidentally put on was a temperature I never imagined, and I had no way of knowing his attitude. Just such an intimate contact made me almost forget the way of breathing.

He reached out and hugged me back.

I was made sensitive by his actions, every inch of my body felt evenly hot as if it was bathed in sunlight.

"Mr. Dazai...it's warm." I said, "It's human body temperature."

I felt a vibration in his chest, and he was laughing.

"Of course, does Yi Jun think I'm a monster from somewhere?"

"I will hand over the matter about 'Dazai Osamu' and the answer to Yi Jun." He said, "So...give me some more time."

so good.

I fell in front of him, letting the last bit of tears wet my cheeks.

——Let me hurry up to the future I dream of.

……

……

I woke up from my sleep and lay sideways on the bed. The corner of the quilt was lifted a little by me, cold air poured in through the crack, and slid upwards along the slit of the bathrobe.

"Well……"

I just remembered that I didn't set the alarm clock, and I slept until I woke up naturally.

As soon as he was about to get up, he felt the pain in his legs pulling his body. His unconscious mind could not control his body very well. In addition, he was delayed by the pain, and his movements of getting up were unstable, and he fell back to the ground in a panic. I stretched out my hand and grabbed the stool, but the stool was also pulled down by me.

There was a loud "bang--".

God, God—

I was completely awakened by the series of actions I made, and got up from the ground in a hurry.

"Yi Jun?" Dazai's voice sounded from behind, "Are you alright?"

I quickly fixed the stool, then turned my head and smiled at him: "It's okay."

He had changed his clothes, put on his own shirt, and seemed to have washed up.

I tried to say hello: "...good morning?"

"Good morning." He said, "I put the medicine for promoting blood circulation and removing blood stasis on the table."

I stared blankly at him, and it took me a long time to say: "Thank you Mr. Dazai..."

To my insensitive look, Dazai commented: "I-kun is like a battery that has been drained."

I got up from the bed embarrassingly, then grabbed my clothes, and without looking at him, I said, "I'm going to change first."

Walking into the bathroom and shutting myself in this completely closed room, I finally found myself from the anxiety.

Yes, last night I confessed.Recalling that the atmosphere last night was indeed very good, I was just being watched gently by his withered leaf-colored eyes, and I couldn't help myself, and made an unplanned move, but I know, if I do it again, I will still be like this choose.

I touched my eyes, it seemed that it was a little dry because of crying last night.I think it's funny, I'm not usually a person who likes to cry, I didn't expect to cry several times yesterday, all because of him.Looking back it was really embarrassing.

I was thinking wildly while changing clothes, and when I saw myself sideways in the mirror, I remembered the incredibly close hug last night—I felt him clearly.

Ahhh, don't think about these things!

After changing clothes, it's time to deal with the bruises on my legs.I was wearing a skirt, so it was convenient to apply the medicine.I didn't have the courage to look at him today, so I simply shut myself in the bathroom, and came out refreshed after applying the medicine and washing up.I still don't know what attitude to use to face Mr. Dazai... Or, before he responds to me, I don't know how to treat him. All I can think of is to let nature take its course.

Right now Dazai was standing in front of the TV watching the news.I drank water to moisten my throat and walked to him, when a strange news was playing on the TV.

I read it out: "A large number of residents in the same area have symptoms of amnesia..."

It seems that I cried a little hurt last night, and my voice is a little hoarse.

"Everyone in this area has different degrees of memory loss, and what they lose is a random memory in their lives, and they have no connection with each other." Dazai said, "People's memories suddenly disappear—just It's like pulling a brick out of a whole wall, it looks very obvious on the outside, but it doesn't immediately damage the firmness of the wall."

"Will such a collective report be accepted?"

"There will be a special department to take over." He said, "I personally tend to believe that people with supernatural abilities commit crimes."

Dazai cast a final glance at the TV, and pressed the off button.

"I'm hungry." He seemed to be in a good mood, even acting like a baby, and he proposed: "Yi Jun, let's go have breakfast, this hotel provides a buffet breakfast."

Feeling the emptiness in my stomach, "I happen to be hungry too."

We were on the way to the restaurant, and he suddenly said, "It's been a long time since I ate Tamagoyaki made by Yijun."

"Did I not put it in the bento for the sports meeting?" I asked uncertainly.

"No."

"By the way, the video of the sports meeting... Dazai-san hasn't given it to me yet."

Even he has already used this exchange condition, but I haven't seen the video as a bargaining chip.

Dazai-san is really cunning.

As we walked, we talked about the news just now.

"Mr. Dazai, what's the use of making people lose a certain memory?"

As someone who has also lost memory, I am very interested in this news.

Dazai said: "Has Yi Jun thought about another possibility? For example, instead of 'losing', but being 'looted'?"

"The criminal stole a memory from the victim?" The more I heard it, the more I felt incredible. "Memory is an intangible thing, right? How can an intangible thing be 'looted'?"

What's more, if you want to plunder, then the plundered thing itself must have some value or function.What is the need for a memory on a casual passerby to be plundered?

"This is what the police and related departments have to consider. Discussing this topic too deeply always makes me feel like I will be arrested and go to work..." He put his hands in his pockets and walked lazily in front, "Even if it is I do need some private time now and then."

I also thought he was talking about the work of a detective agency.

"Sure enough, I'm usually very busy."

Dazai is much better than me in controlling emotions. For example, now, I secretly looked at him, but I didn't feel the slightest embarrassment and discomfort after being confessed to him.

After retracting into the quilt yesterday, I suddenly remembered that there are still ten years of rocket launchers.

When I met Mr. Dazai ten years later, what he said to me at that time, if I understood correctly——

"What's wrong?" Dazai asked me, "Why are you looking at me like that all of a sudden?"

"No...it's nothing." Realizing that my gaze was too explicit, I quickly changed the subject, "I just suddenly remembered something..."

By the way, there is one more thing that I am very concerned about.

When Mr. Dazai visited the grave ten years later, the owner of the tombstone.

"Mr. Dazai, do you know a man named 'Iori'?"

The author has something to say:

This is a person who has too much to say but doesn't know what to say, but doesn't want to say nothing.

In fact, Dazai has quite a lot to deal with, not only his past that he has never confessed, but also what he is doing.

But this stage is the end.

Having said that, I think this hug is very astringent(.)

——————————————————————————————————————

感谢在2020-09-1323:46:36~2020-09-1422:48:28期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angel who threw the landmine: 2 Shanhuo; stop playing games, Gu Yu, Zhong Ye is such a good man, He Lai Resonance, Gan Sheng, Ban Sheng, Yin Miao, Li Zi and Alice 1;

感谢灌溉营养液的小天使：叶呦呦88瓶；阿Trap60瓶；月琉璃、花火缠绵50瓶；凝炎爱44瓶；千阳遗韵、锤34瓶；听风30瓶；蝶殇15瓶；狮子座SHERRY13瓶；P仔、典典、虾不演鱼、米哈什么维奇、25576928、珍珠奶茶不要珍珠10瓶；王不留行治痛经9瓶；徐静女、a安a、不想画眉毛5瓶；Livisia、阿琉3瓶；boon、长夜昭昭、柠檬精(ovo)、始皇1瓶；

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!