As a background board, I want to pursue Dazai

Indeed, I only remember that Dazai told me to get a bread machine, but I can't remember why I wanted a bread machine on the spur of the moment.

Is it because the shopping guide lady is selling it to me?

My heart was in a mess. After putting away the notebook, I didn't go home, but went directly to the supermarket.I quickly found the shopping guide lady recorded in my notebook. She has a badge on her body, which is the same as the name recorded in my notebook.

I went up to say hello to her, and when she saw me, she asked, "Hi, do you have a point card for our supermarket? Now we are doing point exchange promotion..."

Judging by her posture, it should be the first time she saw me.

"Hello." I held up the notebook in my hand and asked her, "Are you talking about this activity of exchanging bread machines?"

She looked at my neat little print and said, "Yes, do you already know about our activities?"

I reconfirmed that she and I were meeting for the first time.

After reading her name tag and the name recorded in my notebook several times, I still couldn't straighten out my emotions, but it was hard to stay here all the time, so I bit the bullet and chose to exchange.

I bought other vegetables and other things. I really couldn't take the bread machine weighing more than ten kilograms back by myself, so I had to call for reinforcements.During the ten minutes waiting for Dazai to come over, I squatted in front of the toaster and stared at it, thinking about these two strange things in my heart.

Counting the saying that I forgot to meet the new students, and the two things written down in today's notebook, I forgot three things in total.It was extremely unnatural, and after I sorted it out, I found that it was precisely the people I had been in contact with that I had forgotten.

"First of all, the new student that Sekiguchi said, that child doesn't remember meeting me. Then there is Ms. Shiratori, we all thought it was the first time we met each other, but Editor Koyama said that we had met before, and even exchanged names... ..."

If these two things are coincidences, or it is indeed a deviation in the work, or a mistake caused by a connection problem, then how to explain the matter between me and the shopping guide lady?

We clearly don't know each other.

I don't think I will deliberately write down "must be exchanged at the xx shopping guide" in the notebook. Usually, in this case, the shopping guide is talking to customers in order to improve their performance, so that customers must stay with her. What happens when you do business.But she obviously doesn't know me either.

...why did I forget them?

Why did they forget me too?

Did something like this happen to me before I made a note, but I didn't realize it happened.

First of all, these people who I have forgotten, and who will also forget me, are people who have a very shallow relationship with me.If this symptom continues to deepen, it may gradually spread to those around me who have a deeper relationship with me.

The word forgetting is a scarier threat than anything else, my thinking has diverged——

Will I be forgotten by more people?

"Yi-kun?" Dazai's voice came from above my head just as I was worried.

Every time he walks into my life, he looks easy and pleasing to the eye, and I can't bear to show my decadent side in front of him.

So I forced a smile on my face and greeted him: "I got the bread machine. Although it cost a little more, it's still worth it."

I stood up and patted my skirt, because I didn't want him to notice my abnormality, so I suggested: "How about we go buy some materials now? Then we can have fresh bread tomorrow."

Dazai glanced at me, and just when I thought I was going to be seen through by him, he narrowed his eyes and smiled, and said "Hmm".

"Tomorrow will be a fine morning," he said.

I was a little surprised.

In my understanding, this sentence is like looking forward to tomorrow.

I seemed to be pushed into a soft cushion with plenty of fluff, but I was shouting a mouthful of coptis.Hearing his words that made my heart sour, my troubles became difficult to express—after all, when he was in such a good mood, my illusory troubles should be so disappointing.

My mood was also split into pieces, and I said: "Then let's go buy the ingredients, and the breakfast tomorrow morning will be soft and fresh bread."

We folded into the supermarket together and bought materials such as butter, flour, milk and yeast.Along the way, I tried to liven up the atmosphere, and kept asking him if he wanted this or that——

"This bread machine can feed automatically, Mr. Dazai, do you want raisins or dried fruit?"

"I think it's delicious without anything," he said, "butter or jam is enough."

Passing by the discount area, I said again: "Speaking of which, toothpaste is having an event, do you want to buy some?"

"Isn't there a lot of toothpaste left?" Dazai was as patient and gentle as he was answering a child who was clamoring for something after entering the supermarket.

"...Would you like some soba noodles?"

"You can buy a little."

Talking and talking, I feel that we have experienced this kind of scene several times—shopping together, one of them says he wants to buy whatever he sees, and the other has an attitude of not changing.

Our positions are reversed.

Almost every time I passed an area, I would chatter about it for a long time, taking everything in sight as a topic.He was not too annoying, and answered me seriously every time. His attitude made my uneasiness a little less.We still didn't end up buying too many things that were out of our budget.On the way back, I was still a little absent-minded. Dazai probably sensed that my emotions were not right. Instead of laughing and making trouble, he chatted with me peacefully and gently, saying something reassuring.

I was preoccupied with packing up my things and then making dinner.During the waiting period, I stared at the tiles in the kitchen in a daze, not daring to think about anything, for fear that if I thought about it too much, I would touch my emotions, and the extra emotions would bring great sorrow to everyone in this house .

When my gaze swept to the shadows and corners of the room, I wondered if a dark ghost would pop out of that gap when I turned my head, and catch me in a net, and let me leave silently. Uneasy thoughts are like a black veil hanging over my head, as long as I lower my head, it will completely cover me.

When one is alone, everything becomes scary.

"Yi Jun?"

When the dark cloud was about to touch me, I heard Mr. Dazai's steady voice in my ears.

He turned on the faucet and rinsed his hands with water. While drying the water, he asked me, "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Can you help me get a few eggs and beat them well?"

"Okay." After he finished speaking, he opened the refrigerator, and then moved around beside me.

I feel so much better with him around.

The restlessness in me has multiplied from one to ten, or even hundreds of thousands, and immediately becomes something that cannot be hidden. I have to hide them all with lush leaves, feed these leaves, and let them grow vigorously It is the love that I am still self-sufficient.

I peeked at him from time to time, and seeing his steady movements made me feel relieved.

Dazai said, "It's just cracking an egg, don't you need to look at me like that? Could it be that Yi Jun thinks I can't even crack an egg?"

"I don't know Mr. Dazai's cooking skills." I said, "Stand a little farther away, I'm going to fry something."

Holding the egg bowl in his arms, Dazai proudly said beside him, "I'm good at cooking."

"for example?"

"I named it 'Vitalizing Chicken Consomme.'"

"It doesn't sound like a Japanese dish..."

"Compared to these—" he said triumphantly, "this is a tonic that can keep people energetic for three days and three nights after taking it."

After being slightly stunned, I asked doubtfully, "... so powerful?"

He continued with a smile: "However, some people say that after eating, they will lose their memory."

I:"……"

I really don't want to hear the words "loss of memory" right now.

However, I didn't show it, but continued to follow his words:

"Speaking of memory loss... I like this element in movies and novels. Not long ago, there was a movie starring a popular idol."

He put the beaten egg liquid aside, and said: "I know, the heroine was taken to an incredible country after losing her memory, and was about to marry the prince of this country, but the male protagonist overcame many obstacles and took her to Come back, the heroine who lost her memory fell in love with the hero again... Well, it seems to be such a story, right?"

I didn't expect him to know all this, even the plot is more detailed than I know.

"But in my opinion, the plot is a hodgepodge." He stretched his waist, and complained: "The fairy queen that the hero meets tells him that he must never turn back on the way back with the heroine... There is also an incredible kingdom ..."

I laughed and said, "Are Orpheus and Alice in Wonderland?"

Dazai said: "There is another part, the trial of the Fairy Queen. She turns the heroine into various things, mice, crocodiles, red-hot irons...and tells the hero not to let go of her until she turns back into a human body, She promised to help the male protagonist find a way to leave."

"Well . . . I just know it," I said. "I saw a Scottish fairy tale mentioned in a novel. A girl named Jenny fell in love with a warrior named Tamrin, and Tamrin Taken by the Fairy Queen, Jenny is going to save him."

He listened with relish: "And then?"

"Jenny stole Tanlin from the horse, and the Fairy Queen angrily cast spells to turn Tanlin into various things..." I laughed when I said this, "turned him into a beast, a poisonous snake, and a red-hot An iron rod. Only Jenny hugged him tightly until..."

"until?"

"Until he's a, uh... 'naked man'—that's what the books say," I said, "and Tamrin will be hers forever."

"It's the first time I've heard this story." He seemed to be still recalling this wonderful story, "...is this a nursery rhyme?"

"The protagonist in the novel also expresses the same feeling." I said, "It's not the same as in nursery rhymes, lovers will eventually get married." I said, "The book also said that this nursery rhyme has a follow-up, I think It will be more interesting later.”

I put the tempura on a plate, knowing that he had been waiting for a long time to taste the still steaming food, so I cut a small piece and put it on the plate and handed it to him.Dazai bit into the crispy batter, and I watched him eat with satisfaction.

He stared at me and said, "Yi Jun hasn't said what will happen next."

"Oh... the follow-up is that the Fairy Queen said angrily: 'You took away the best warrior in my knight order. If I had known what happened yesterday, I would definitely gouge out your two gray eyes and put them in Mud, if I had known what happened yesterday, I would have dug out your heart and put a heart of stone in it.'”

I think, my original mood turned around, but after I finished saying this sentence, it sank a few degrees.This is due to the original content of the book. At that time, I couldn't understand why the protagonist in the book said this sentence was not just a curse of hatred, but also contained a kind of protection.

Eyes of clay and a heart of stone are the means by which a man can be shut out from all sorrows.

... If my disappearance will bring irreversible harm, it is better to be isolated from this undeserved misfortune forever.

Hearing this, Dazai frowned first, and then stretched his brows after slightly parting his lips.

He asked me: "Which book did Yi Jun read about this story?"

"I don't remember the title of the book very much," I said, "I'm thinking about the content of this book... The hero's wife fell from a tree and died. Their dog was the only witness. In order to find out why the wife Falling from a tree, he decided to teach a dog to talk."

"Did the dog finally talk?" Dazai said.

He, like me, wondered when I first picked up the book if the dog would end up talking—

"I don't remember." I said, "I just remember a sad story. Although the hero thought he had given all his love to his wife, they still couldn't fully understand each other. In the end, she still chose ended his own life.”

At this time, my mind is full of thoughts that should not appear.

Dazai draws out his voice: "Um—" he said, "Did Yi Jun say this is a tragedy?"

"For the male protagonist, he has lost his beloved wife forever... he can only look for her figure in his memory." I won’t be suffering any more, if this is a tragedy, whose perspective should I use to define it?”

Speaking of which, Dazai is actually on my mind.

Will he leave me?Would he still choose to end his life?

Following my example, Dazai cut off a piece of fried shrimp and handed the meatiest part of the head to me with a fork.

"Will you leave me?" he said, "as Tamryn was taken by Jenny from the Fairy Queen?"

I was startled.

I never expected him to ask me if I would leave him.

I complained: "How do you substitute yourself into the fairy queen..."

As a result, he acted coquettishly, "Answer me—"

I held his hand, pushed my hair back with the other, and ate the food he handed me.

I said, "I won't."

Dazai said happily, "That's really great."

Then say, "I don't want to have eyes of clay and a heart of stone. Obviously I hate pain, but I can't bear to not feel it."

"As long as this kind of thing doesn't happen, I don't need this curse-like blessing." He said, rarely changed his words, "I won't let this kind of thing happen."

"--do not leave me."

"Ah."

The author has something to say:

Nursery rhymes are stories of Tamlin.

Then this book is a book that I personally like very much. The title of the book is "The Dog of Babel", and the main content is what Ayi said.

Because this chapter is quite vague, so I will talk about my small paper:

The quick-witted Jae already guessed that Ayi knew about his problem.

Both put themselves on the "lost" side.

Ayi substituted himself as the male protagonist in the novel, and he could not understand why his wife committed suicide in the end.

Dazai substitutes himself into the fairy queen who lost her samurai (Shashou).

But what he said later was that he knew that Ayi had already noticed her own problem, and he had left a message on the phone before. According to his understanding of Ayi's character, he could easily know that in Ayi's view, "mud" "Eyes" and "Heart of Stone" are a seemingly cursed protection - protection in advance of the pain he might face in the event of Ay's disappearance.

His attitude towards this is: I would rather remember this feeling than lose it.

But, as long as this matter is resolved satisfactorily, everyone will be happy.

When I say change discs, I mean really change discs! (The priest changes the disc——!)

But the sugar will still be guaranteed, after all, I am not a devil.

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感谢在2020-10-0921:24:10~2020-10-1021:42:11期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angel who threw the landmine: He Lai Resonance, Silver Meow 1;

Thanks to the little angels of the irrigation nutrient solution: 10 bottles of Bei and Pursuit, He Lai Resonance; 5 bottles of an anonymous reader; 1 bottle of Xia Xi;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!