between men and women

One hundred and fifteenth post

In order to satisfy Chen Fang's wish to let her appear in this story in a legitimate way, I began to continue to recall.Although the memories of the past ten years are chaotic and time can't be straightened out at all, when I really opened the door of memory, I found that there is a lot of astringent happiness hidden behind the door. in the previous ten years.

Probably only when people are recalling can they truly understand whether they still love the person next to their pillow or not. The world is too complicated, and life is far more exciting than novels. Only when you close your eyes and feel with your heart, will you ignore everything in front of you. Understand your heart.

Recalling the first decade seems to feel slightly different than recalling the most recent decade.When I started to recall, I realized that the reason why I remember every quarrel so clearly is because the happiness of the next ten years was too trivial, so trivial that there was no concrete, but the quarrel was actually an outbreak of something , so it is extremely clear in memory.

The Shawshank Redemption said: The pain you have experienced today, you will laugh and say it one day.When I watched this film in [-], I couldn’t understand it. This kind of feeling may only be understood after a certain age. Some things that tortured you back then may be recalled again after many years, and it may be magically with a little bit of difficulty. The sweetness of words.

It's like someone saying that the most beautiful love is when the window paper is not pierced. I didn't understand this at the beginning, but now I completely agree.

Looking back on the first ten years, the sweetest part in my heart is not the years when the two stayed together, but the feeling when I loved him but had an affair with him, how tortured the years were, but in the end Like cotton candy with a slight sweetness, soft and sweet, people will show a shy smile when they recall it.

But ten years after the memory, there is a bit of helplessness in the sweetness that can only be experienced after adulthood.People around me came and went one after another, the close ones became strangers, the strange ones became best friends, the ones that I thought would never change were subverted overnight, and the ones I hated slowly learned to accept and understand.This is probably the meaning of life. None of us can escape the traces left by the long river of time on the road of our lives.Regardless of age.

So I began to recall in detail, to find our trivial happiness in the next ten years, and reassemble the bits and pieces of sweetness scattered in my memory into a piece of chocolate, so that the bitterness on the tip of my tongue today can be laughed at many years later. speak up.

However, in retrospect, I found that the happiness and insights of the next ten years were not all trivial, and they also once attacked me very concretely.

One hundred and sixteenth post

In my memory, before the age of 30, my relationship with Peng Zhiran seemed to be known only to both parents.

It is difficult to maintain this state. If it is the younger generation who likes to show their affection, they may not be able to endure for so long. Even we at the beginning needed a strong restraint to not show off in front of others.

I am not a person with strong willpower and control. Sometimes it is inevitable that I will naturally show some intimacy. Peng Zhiran would give me a glare at that time, and then cover it up quietly, but I will inevitably be taught a lesson when I go back. pause.He always said: Xiu Enai dies quickly, do you know what it means to make a fortune in silence!

Over time, we even developed a special habit of walking, almost never walking side by side, because walking side by side would make me want to hold his hand involuntarily.Usually when we go out that day, if the two of us are in a good mood, I will walk a little ahead of him, and he will smile and follow me about a body, occasionally reminding me that there are steps or dog poop ahead.Generally, when he talks about steps, he really reminds him, and when he says there is dog shit in front of him, it is half and half. He always says that I don’t look at the ground when I walk, and occasionally lies to me that I stepped on dog shit, and then he looks disgusted. Avoid me, I'm Naobudi, and I often feel so uncomfortable at that time that I really stepped on something. I have to chase him and step on his feet a few times, but often I can't step on any.This is the state when you go out happily.

But there are also times when I am not happy to go out.When I'm unhappy, it's usually Peng Zhiran who walks in front with a dark face like a soldier, and I follow behind with a cautious face.He was very strange, I never knew what kind of response he wanted me to give when he was angry.When he gets angry and I retort, he will lose his temper even more, but if I follow behind with an aggrieved face, he will look at me with that kind of "you know how to pretend to be aggrieved" eyes, full of impatience.

So after more than ten years of getting used to it, until now we still walk in tandem, and only in the dead of night when there is no one on the road, we will occasionally hold hands side by side.

Perhaps on the one hand, we are more careful, on the other hand, we are old classmates for many years, and our friends all know that we are close, so we never thought about it until my 30th birthday.

Don't do it at thirty, don't do it at forty, so on the 30th birthday, it is necessary to have a drink and invite friends to have a good time.

Thinking about it now, when I found out that I was almost thirty, I felt so old, but in the blink of an eye, many years have passed.

I don't have any friends, it's funny to say, except for the good friends I made because of Peng Zhiran, now I have a very good female friend who I met when I was learning Korean.

People say that a brand can tell a person's character, but I don't know if the loyalty to the game also reflects a person's loyalty to love.For so many years, Peng Zhiran only likes one game - StarCraft I, not even II.He doesn't play online games, whether it's Warcraft, Fairy Sword, or even LOL, he doesn't play any of them.Until now, one of his few hobbies is watching interstellar videos.I don't play much anymore, and I don't go to Haofang's platform, but I still watch PLU videos.But anyone who has played StarCraft knows that Koreans were crazy about StarCraft after 2000. At that time, the videos of Korean professional players were basically overwhelming. Makes people crazy.So at that time, I secretly went to learn Korean in a whimsical way, hoping that one day I would be able to roughly translate the explanations for him.

The fact is, of course, that Korean is not that easy to learn. After reading it intermittently for about a year, I only learned some basic expressions, asking what kind of food is delicious and where is the toilet, although it will be helpful to us when we go to Korea for a self-help trip later. To understand the interstellar video commentary is simply whimsical.

But I met a female friend in the Korean class.Probably there are always some similarities between Sagittarius and Sagittarius, and this girl is also a Sagittarius.She is not tall, but her temper is very straightforward, like a boy, and she can't beat around the bush when she speaks. When I met her, she was working as a finance company in a luxury company.She sat next to me in class once, and when we got to know each other a few times, sometimes I would help her grab a seat.

Her name is Ivy, she may be working in a luxury company, and she usually deals with a lot of gays.We must know that the fashion industry is always the place where there are the most gays. I don’t know if it’s because most of the gays are quite tasteful, or because gays cannot be recognized by the mainstream society, so a flawed life needs to be filled with beauty, so I am more sensitive to art and beauty. Ivy's sense of smell is just like Michelangelo Da Vinci Wilde Andersen's. In short, Ivy's sense of smell is very sensitive to gay, so she didn't shy away from it after getting acquainted, and asked me if I was.

When she asked me this question, I thought she was a rotten girl.I don't know when the creatures like rotten girls came into being. It seems that being gay is a very happy thing in their world, but the fact is that most people who are gay are not very happy.But to my surprise, Ivy is not a rotten girl.She said that she asked me about my sexual orientation just to understand if I could be treated as a best friend, that's all, she said that she didn't have any pink bubble fantasies and curiosity about sex.I don’t know why, but at that moment, I was so relaxed. I like her attitude towards me very much. Excessive attention and excessive contempt can cause harm to people. I am very grateful that she treats me like an ordinary person.So she became the only person I could confide in when I quarreled with Peng Zhiran.

So on my 30th birthday, I called Ivy to my birthday party.I thought it would be a normal party.

Among those invited, only Ivy knew about my relationship with Peng Zhiran, and the others were all friends of Peng Zhiran.There are Bai Rong and his senior brother, Luo Feng, Yu Luoshan and his girlfriend at that time, Lin Fan and his girlfriend at that time and his current wife.It happened that ten people gathered at a table.

The party is like this, first sing at the cash drawer, and then go to Tianhua for dinner.The cash drawer ordered a VIP package, which is super big with a small room and a long dining table, the kind where there is a special person to provide kneeling song order service.

When Peng Zhiran and I arrived, the private room was already full of people.The birthday boy was the last one to arrive. I was quite embarrassed, but it was obviously arranged by Peng Zhiran. As soon as I entered the room, I was covered by Lin Fan and Yu Luoshan, who were wearing pointed birthday hats made of shiny paper. Brainstormed a few special fireworks for weddings, and everyone in the room clapped their hands happily and said it was coming. Everyone was wearing that cute birthday hat, and each of them even had a masquerade ball. The masquerade, the whole scene is very dreamlike.I was a little dazed for a while, it's just a birthday party, so don't make it like this.But there was more than expected. As soon as I entered the room, Peng Zhiran pushed me to sit on the coffee table in front of the sofa, and he put a hat on my head. Then I told the waiter to start, and then I went The VCR started to play on the large projection screen.

The first one to appear was Peng Zhiran, he said in front of the shaking camera, dear little Jiajia, today is your birthday, so I prepared this for you, please don’t cry after watching this, you will be a 30-year-old man after today, Then he pushed open the door behind him under the shaky camera.Behind the door were Bo Rong and his senior brother. They said with a smile, Chen Jia, that you are 30 years old, and you will be more sensible when you are [-]. Do you know, and we wish you and Peng Zhiran well.Then the camera cut, it was Luo Feng, Yu Luoshan and Lin Fan, Yu Luoshan screamed in front of the camera with a mean face, and said "Oh, Chen Xiaojia, I thought you two were too nice, so it turned out to be like this Oh, it's really hard to hide from us, not enough friends not enough friends.In the end, Liang Mingchuan appeared in the camera, touching his nose and laughing in front of the camera with significantly worse pixels than before. This video was probably recorded by a webcam and then uploaded.He said that Chen Jia, so I won't say too much, I watched you all the way, and I only hope that you will be well forever.

Behind me, Yu Luoshan and the others scolded: Liang Mingchuan already knew about this!Damn, the tone is so tight!

I was so shocked that I didn't know why, I looked for Peng Zhiran with my wet eyes, he stood beside me with his arms around his shoulders, looked at me and smiled, pointed to the screen with his chin, motioning me to look down.

The last thing that appeared on the VCR was Peng Zhiran's face. He straightened the camera again, then smiled and said a lot to the big screen, thanking all friends for celebrating me. Finally, he looked at the camera and said: Xiao Jiajia, I wish you a birthday hapiness.Then he smiled dotingly, grinned and mouthed: I love you.

Seeing this, I pouted and wanted to cry.

The whole room was booed, and I didn't have time to pay attention to the expression of the waiter who played the VCR.Yu Luoshan, an unscrupulous psychopath, was still asking for kisses. Fortunately, Peng Zhiran stopped him and immediately asked the waiter to order a song, and then he smiled and dragged me to the toilet to calm down.

That was really the best 30th birthday gift I ever received, because everyone wants their relationship to be blessed by others, especially family and friends, and Peng Zhiran gave it to me that day.

When I calmed down and walked out of the bathroom, Ivy smiled and said that she thought my group of friends were cute.I nodded and gave her a hug and said yes, you are all my best friends and you are all cute.

Then a group of people started a battle to grab the wheat.After singing for two hours, we moved to Tianhua.

A group of people took three cars and rushed to Tianhua, each holding the masks they wore when they sang K.As soon as the car stopped, Peng Zhiran took a look at me and took the lead to put on the mask. I also put on the mask and got out of the car, followed by Yu Luoshan who arrived and they also put on the mask arrogantly. Come in to Tianhua under the ceremony.The waiter who came to Tianhua was also very involved that day. As soon as he saw a group of us, he immediately stepped forward and asked for the box number. Bao's guests have arrived!" It's like a celebrity visiting, it's really impressive!

Looking back now, it was really a dreamy 30th birthday, so dreamy that I thought all my friends would accept us.

However, the fact is that Luo Feng gradually stopped coming out to parties after that time, and finally after more than a year, he married his current wife after more than 70 blind dates, and after giving birth to a son, he stopped seeing us at all up.

I still remember Peng Zhiran's gloomy expression at that time and his sighing tone when he occasionally talked about Luo Feng. Anyone who lost a friend of more than ten years would feel a little regretful, but he never blamed Luo Feng, nor did he blame him. pass me.

I didn't blame Luo Feng either.Looking back now, Luo Feng only made fun of me and Peng Zhiran to ease the atmosphere when he was caught by the police and fined the money. He really never thought about the two of us in that direction. If you say a few rotten words to Lin Fan, he will still be scolded as boring.Maybe for him, it would be really difficult for him to accept that two good friends ended up with that kind of relationship.So I don't blame him.

Everyone has the right to choose their own worldview and moral bottom line. Yu Luoshan can be so unscrupulous that he can make jokes about the base, Lin Fan can make friends with us just because of our loyalty, Liang Mingchuan can also tolerate us with great love, Luo Of course, Feng also has the right to stick to his own worldview, not to mention that he never hurt us with words or actions from the beginning to the end, he just chose to leave.It's so much better than those who insult us with the word pervert, isn't it?

So Peng Zhiran and I are still very grateful to have met Luo Feng as a companion on the road of life. He accompanied us through a period of green years. Although he did not go to the end, he is still precious.

We cherish each other what is lost, and cherish what is still around.

When I think of this paragraph, I can't help but think, even treat friends like this, how about treat lovers?