you're nothing but scum

Song Xiuming's perspective

I don't understand why things turned out the way they did.

Everything was fine before, so what step went wrong?

Probably from birth to now, I have never been so afraid.Watching that person fall down the stairs, I seemed to fall into the abyss with him. I felt a terrible sense of despair at that moment, and I am afraid I will never forget it for the rest of my life.

Xiao Le's head is covered with blood...

It's all blood...

I removed my hand from the back of his head, looking at the blood red right hand, trembling uncontrollably.

When the medical staff sent him to the ambulance, Liang Liang who was waiting downstairs also followed with a pale face.I was about to follow up when the man's voice came from behind: "Mo...Mo Le!"

I turned around, grabbed his right arm and punched him with a fist!

He was beaten to the ground by me and looked at me blankly.

I know that this person used to be violent to Xiao Le.I don't use violence, I always feel that as long as I ask Zhang Qi to keep an eye on this bastard, he will know how powerful he is after a long time and restrain himself.I can't change their past, as long as he doesn't hurt Xiao Le again.But it seems I was wrong.

I'm not from the same world as them, so our rules will never match.

For this guy, just being taken to the police station is too cheap for him.

I knew I was out of control, and I didn't dare to look back at the motionless person lying in the ambulance, I just wanted to beat the person in front of me to the point of bleeding.

Someone stopped me, and when I heard Liang Liang's voice, I woke up a little bit.

He begged me with a crying voice, "Song Xiuming, come with us, Xiao Le is going to die, what's the use of beating him!"

I was dragged into the ambulance by him in a trance, thinking, yes, if something happened to Xiao Le...

After Xiao Le was sent to the emergency room, Liang Liang and I sat on a chair outside.

I propped my forehead with my hands, closed my eyes, and recalled the scenes since I met him.

What went wrong?Which step am I doing wrong?

Probably... It started when I met those people in "Night"...

When I rushed there that day, what I saw was Tang Qilin beating that man to death.

At first I didn't understand what was going on, but when I saw Xiao Le standing beside Liang Liang with a swollen face and gloomy expression, I almost understood what was going on.

The anger at that time was indeed uncontrollable, but Tang Qilin had already beaten him like that, what else could I pursue?

And looking at Xiao Le's appearance, I kept regretting in my heart, if I could arrive earlier, I would not be by his side every time he encountered such a thing.

I didn't know him when he got into a car accident at first, but after that?After that, he obviously stayed by his side, so why did he get into a second car accident and suffer such insults in the "night"?

I couldn't sleep that night, and I knew that Xiao Le was the same as me.I thought about how to comfort him and let him think about things, but I didn't expect that he who had been lying quietly for a long time suddenly got off the bed, rushed to the toilet and vomited.

I rushed over and saw him spitting acid water in pain. I knew that this incident had hit him hard.

I hugged him and just wanted to tell him that no matter what, I would be by his side.

In the next few days, I thought that this matter had disappeared, but I didn't expect Lin Yan's accident to happen.

That day when my mother held Lin Yan's hand in the ward and said she wanted him to be with me, I didn't care.My mother always likes to pull the red thread for me like this. If I didn't like men, I'm afraid her mentality of being a matchmaker would only be more powerful.I originally thought that Lin Yan would expose this matter as a joke, but I didn't expect that he didn't say anything, but just raised his head and looked at me.

That look left me stunned, and I realized that things were not quite what I thought.

At that time, I watched Lin Yan walk out of the ward with a smile, and didn't chase after him. I realized for the first time that this matter might be troublesome.I have always regarded Lin Yan as a friend, and never had other thoughts about him, let alone someone I already like.

I kept thinking about it when I went back.

I know I can't let Xiao Le know about this, otherwise with his personality, he will definitely think too much.He was silent a lot during that time, and I don't want to let this matter hurt him again.

But when I got home, when he asked me if I knew Lin Yan liked me, I realized that I was too slow.

I'm afraid this is the so-called sense of powerlessness.

He obviously wants to get the person he likes back, but he knows that there is an element of instability in his heart.I didn't make him feel safe, or I didn't notice those parts of his heart that were shaking.In any case, it was my neglect that created the situation.

I thought about it all night before I almost understood what Xiao Le had always been concerned about.With his personality, he obviously wouldn't take Lin Yan to heart, but why did he run away because of this matter?

I'm afraid it's not because "Lin Yan likes me"...but because compared to him, Lin Yan has a healthy body and a past that he can never have...

I never thought that Xiao Le would have an inferiority complex in her heart.He has always been tough in some ways, and he has always been very free and easy in my heart.He did lose a leg because of Yao Jiu, but after waking up, he never wavered from the idea of ​​leaving Yao Jiu. The wound in his heart should have not healed, but he always had a strong aggressiveness and did not allow himself The real appearance falls into the eyes of others, and others are not allowed to sympathize with him.

Yes, he really has nothing to do.

He is obviously a guy with a bad temper, who used to let himself go down... But there are certain qualities in him that really attract me.

He is strong, but also a little fragile.The appearance of this contradictory opposite will only make me feel sorry for this person who has suffered too much, and I want to help him, help him stand up, and help him smile again.

Xiaole, I like you.

What I love is when you lose a leg and try to get back up.What I like is the way you opened your arms to embrace the breeze in the park that afternoon. What I like is that you can show such a simple smile even if you fall to the ground. In the store, that cute look when you face a strange job... I like you.

I can't change your past, I don't deny that I mind, but I also want to completely erase the past that made you regret and cast a shadow on you from your mind.

Xiao Le... I love you...

So please don't get into trouble, don't...

When the lights in the emergency room went out, I stood up silently.

Liang Liang looked very flustered, staring closely at the opened door of the emergency room.The doctor who performed the surgery came out and said to us: "It's fine. The patient may feel a little nauseous after waking up, but he will be fine after a day of rest."

I breathed a sigh of relief, and wanted to follow Xiao Le to the hospital bed, but Liang Liang stopped me.

He looked at me with hostility, and I froze.

"Song Xiuming, tell me what's going on? Why does Xiao Le look like this when she goes to your place to pack her luggage?!"

"... Pack your luggage?" I tightened my hands hanging by my side.

Liang Liang was silent for a few seconds, and said, "I saw you and Lin Yan kissing outside the coffee shop on the corner."

I frowned.

"Xiao Le feels sorry for you. He probably thinks that the things he did before made him dirty and he is not good enough for you," Liang Liang said, pulling the corners of his mouth, "I didn't believe in these bullshit theories, but if If Xiao Le really likes you, it’s not surprising that he would have such thoughts. In the past, Yao Jiu was from the same world as us, but you are different. I told Xiao Le before that you would be very suitable for him. At that time, I really felt that You are a good person, but now I feel that a good person may not be suitable for Xiao Le..." After a pause, Liang Liang said, "At least the person who is suitable for him, you can't make him so sad."

After finishing speaking, Liang Liang turned around and wanted to leave, but I stopped him.

I don't know how I feel right now.

The words "The person who suits Xiao Le shouldn't make him so sad" made me feel chills all over my body.Yes, I made him sad.If he could have noticed the inferiority complex in his heart earlier, he should have eliminated his worries earlier instead of letting the situation develop into this situation.

Are you packing your bags?

Xiao Le, I won't let you go.

Letting you go would be just another mistake. I would just let you get rid of all your worries, stay by my side, and start life again.

There is no difficulty that cannot be overcome. I have told you this sentence a long time ago.

I said to Liang Liang: "I don't know what you saw, but I wasn't kissing Lin Yan at that time. If you stayed to see what happened next, you would know that I pushed him away."

After speaking, I walked towards Xiao Le's ward.

When I ran into Lin Yan in the hospital this afternoon, I thought of Xiao Le.I knew that no matter what kind of influence Lin Yan had on him, I should at least speak clearly.

So I called him out and bought two coffees.He said to me: "I do like you, I have liked you since college."

I was silent for a few seconds before responding to him: "If I remember correctly, you had a boyfriend when you were in college."

"It's just that it's too boring to be alone, so I just want to find someone to accompany me," Lin Yan said lightly, "I always liked you at that time, but I didn't want to get involved among you and make you hate it because you had a man. .”

I said, "Now that I have Xiao Le, why do I still say such things?"

"You are really selfish...you always think about the person you like, and you can't even tell you how others like you." Lin Yan sighed.

"Lin Yan, I entrusted Xiao Le to you as a friend, and I can't take everyone's feelings into consideration. If you could have told me earlier..."

"If I could tell you earlier, would I have a different ending with you?" Lin Yan asked, "Impossible."

Yes, impossible.

Few people can be unselfish. If I had known Lin Yan's feelings for me earlier, I'm afraid I wouldn't have asked him for help.

"Oh, forget it, say you are selfish, and so am I, otherwise I wouldn't tell you this kind of thing at this time." Lin Yan turned his head and said softly, "I have endured it for so many years, It's not that I can't bear it any longer..."

I frowned.

"When your mother said that to me yesterday, I just thought that you could follow your mother's wishes and agree to it," he said with a smile, "it's just a fantasy."

I was silent for a long time, and finally said: "I'm sorry, Lin Yan, I already have someone I like."

Lin Yan turned around, looked at me for a few seconds, and murmured, "It's really a formal rejection...Why can't you try it? Why can't it be me?"

Pulled by him, I took a step back. I was stunned when his lips touched, but I pushed him away in the next second.

Lin Yan took a few steps back and leaned against the wall, licked his lips and looked at me with a smile.

I looked at him and said, "Lin Yan, if you still want to be friends, stop doing excessive things."