you're nothing but scum

When I got to the elevator, the door just opened, and I walked in directly.

The elevator door closed, blocking out Song Xiuming who was chasing me up.

My head is completely messed up and I have no idea what I'm doing.Isn't it good?Why run away?

My headache started to hurt, and as soon as I closed my eyes, I saw the scenes of Song Xiuming and Lin Yan getting along, and my ears were full of what Song Xiuming's mother said to Lin Yan.

These things should not have affected me.I like Song Xiuming, Song Xiuming likes me, the things between the two of us have nothing to do with Lin Yan, even if he likes Song Xiuming, so what?

But I can't convince myself.

Lin Yan liked Song Xiuming, but never played the role of destroying us both.Instead, it was me who kept comparing him with me, which was extremely ridiculous.

He and Song Xiuming are people from the same world...

Song Xiuming didn't know Lin Yan's feelings for him before, but after knowing it?

I still have some ideas in my mind...

Lin Yan and him are from the same world, but I...

I twitched the corners of my mouth, recalling the look in that man's eyes when he looked at me that night again in my mind.

When I got in the taxi, I was trembling subconsciously. The phone rang, and the caller ID was Song Xiuming. I hung up without thinking.

I looked at myself in the rearview mirror, and I was so embarrassed, my whole face was pale and pale.

It was raining outside, and the driver asked aloud, "Sir... are you okay?"

I froze, and shook my head silently.

We drove all the way to the place that Liang Liang and I shared before, and I went upstairs and knocked on the door.

After the door opened, Lin Luo appeared. He looked at me in surprise and asked, "Mo Le? Why are you here?"

I took off my wet coat, walked in and said softly, "Aren't you afraid of what your parents will say if you stay here all day?"

"What... what, my parents wouldn't think of such a thing..." Lin Luo's voice was a little guilty.

Liang Liang sat on the bed and froze when he saw me.

He put down the potato chips in his hand and said in surprise: "Xiao Le? You, why did you look like this..."

I was so cold that I wiped my hair messily with a towel.The phone rang again, I glanced at it, and turned it off.

Liang Liang frowned and asked, "Did you quarrel with Song Xiuming?"

I was silent for a few seconds and said, "No."

"That is how the matter?"

I do not speak.

The room was silent for a few seconds, Liang Liang pouted at Lin Luo and said, "Go back first."

"Oh..." A reluctant voice came from behind.

After the door closed, the world became quiet again.

I took off my trousers, walked over and climbed onto the bed, covered the quilt, and Liang Liang kept looking at me without saying a word.

His cell phone rang suddenly,

He glanced at it and said, "I took it?"

I nodded and lay down and turned my back to him.

Liang Liang's voice sounded behind him.

"Well, he just came to my place."

"What's the matter with you? Haven't you been fine all the time..."

"Huh? Who?... oh oh..."

"Hey, it's okay, I will persuade him."

"Enn, okay, okay, let's talk about it after you have settled your affairs."

After he hung up the phone, Liang Liang's voice sounded after a few seconds.

"Mo Le, you're really living and going back, and you can come to me with such a small misunderstanding? Think of me as your mother's family?"

I closed my eyes and didn't speak.

"Song Xiuming doesn't like that Lin Yan, why are you sad, Lei Bulei?"

Probably seeing that I didn't respond, Liang Liang rushed over, maybe he wanted to turn me over, but when he touched me, he paused, and then asked in a surprised voice: "Why are you shaking? "

"Liangliang..." I called his name, my voice was hoarse.

"What, what's wrong?" Liang Liang's voice was a little panicked, "Could it be that Song Xiuming didn't tell me what he did to you?"

I shook my head.

"What is that? Don't keep silent, tell me, hurry up!"

I was silent for a long time before I opened my mouth and said, "Actually, I don't know how to face Song Xiuming after Qi Ling brought his people here that day."

Liang Liang stopped talking.

I turned to look at him and said, "This matter has nothing to do with you. I have done so many wrong things before, and I can't hide from them no matter what. Even if Song Xiuming didn't meet them that time, there will be a day in the future will meet."

Liang Liang looked at me and asked softly, "Do you feel sorry for him?"

"Probably, I just feel ashamed to see him," I said with the corners of my mouth twitched, "Look at me, I used to be a broken pot, and after being raped by Tang Qilin, I simply became an MB. Then I met Yao Jiu, and I broke up again." One leg. My personality has never been very good, and you and Song Xiuming are the only ones who can tolerate me... What's wrong with me? I've ruined everything..." Not only did I lose everything, but I also lost everything. Dirty is not acceptable.

I am like a creature that has been living in the shadows. When I meet Tang Qilin and Yao Jiu who are very similar to me, I know how to deal with them, but once I come into contact with the sun, I immediately discover everything that was hidden in the shadows before. dirty stuff.

Those things were so heavy that I couldn't breathe.Obviously, it was something that I was extremely disdainful and never cared about in the past, but now it makes me panic for no reason and makes me at a loss what to do.

"Xiao Le..." Liang Liang frowned, as if he wanted to say something, but he didn't say it.

I know what he wants to say and why he doesn't say it.

"If I could do it all over again, I would definitely not choose that path again," I finally said this sentence, "Even if I have no money to study, I will not go to that kind of place."

"But this way you won't be able to meet Yao Jiu or Song Xiuming," Liang Liang said, "I didn't mean to refute you on purpose, but what happened just happened, and it can't be changed... Since Song Xiuming doesn't If you care about it, don’t you care about it, can’t you?”

I saw him avoid my eyes, smiled and said: "Just pretend nothing happened? Does Song Xiuming really not care? Impossible... just can't care about it."

Once you care about it, what will happen between me and him?

If Song Xiuming wants to love me, he must tolerate me like this.But I couldn't take him for granted.

But what to do?

So people like me shouldn't get in touch with people like Song Xiuming.I knew from the beginning that he and I were not suitable.Because once you stand with him, you will find how unworthy you are of him.

This is a dead end. Once I really think about it, I have to find a man who can make me not feel inferior. Then that person can never be Song Xiuming.

Liang Liang also stopped talking.

I know that what I said may have hurt him too, but if he is really with Lin Luo, one day he will have the same thoughts as me.

I had a fever the next day, probably from the rain the night before.

My cell phone was always turned off, so Song Xiuming could only call Liang Liang.

Liang Liang didn't go to open the shop, and Lin Luo only said that he wanted to take care of me when he came to him, but I could tell that Liang Liang was also in a low mood.I don't want others to be influenced by me, but this time there is really nothing I can do.

That world is like a swamp.

Liang Liang was younger than me when he entered this world. At that time, neither he nor I were able to think clearly about the consequences. We only made this decision for a moment of pleasure, but never thought that one day we might want to return to the world. Getting to shore is very difficult.

I have been lying in bed, taking medicine, my head is dizzy thinking about the solution to this problem.

I want to work hard to stand beside Song Xiuming, even the past and prosthetics are not enough to pull me down.But on the other hand, I kept thinking about those licentious behaviors in the past, and what happened in "Night" that day.

I was also afraid that Song Xiuming would really choose Lin Yan.Even though I wanted to have the thought of "It's okay if I dump me", but I couldn't deceive myself in my heart. I was really worried.

In the evening, Liang Liang went out to buy dinner.

I lay on the bed for a long time, looked at the phone that had been turned off for a day, and wondered where Song Xiuming was at this time.

It suddenly occurred to him that with his personality, he probably still worried about me at this time, right?

... I always seem to be like this, once something happens, I just take care of myself and don't consider other people's feelings at all.

I stretched out my sore hand, took the phone from the bedside table, and turned it on.

After turning on the phone, dozens of missed calls were displayed on the screen of the phone, and there were many text messages.

I felt a little guilty, and when I opened my inbox, the text messages were all explaining things about him and Lin Yan.He only found out about Lin Yan's liking for him yesterday, so he didn't want to hide it from me.He also said that he would go and explain it to Lin Yan today, and let me stop thinking about it.

I thought about it and called him, but the phone was turned off.

I hung up the phone and lay blankly on the bed for a moment, suddenly not knowing what the hell I was doing.

If you really want to be worthy of Song Xiuming, then don't make him pay for me all the time, I should do something for him too.Always make him worry about me, what else can I give him besides making trouble for him?

I sighed.

Liang Liang just came back from outside, carrying a packed meal in his hand.

I asked him where the thermometer was, and wanted to take his temperature again, but the fever couldn't go away.

Liang Liang stood there for a few seconds, then hesitantly walked over to the bed and sat down.I saw that he seemed to have something to say, so I waited patiently for him to speak.

Liang Liang said in a low voice: "Xiao Le, I used to think that Song Xiuming and you were a good match because I was sincere...but I just speak based on my feeling."

"...What do you want to say?" I frowned.

"I just passed by their hospital when I was on the bus," Liang Liang's voice became smaller and smaller, "I seem to see the two of them...kissing."