you're nothing but scum

"Mom" is an unfamiliar word to me, and it has never left a good impression in my heart.

And Song Xiuming never mentioned his family when we were together, I almost forgot the existence of his parents.

Hearing what Lin Yan said, I was at a loss for a few seconds before asking, "What's wrong with his mother?"

"It seems to be a heart attack. It's nothing serious, but when he was sent in, he looked horrific. Song Xiuming was frightened."

When he said that, I was even more worried.Lin Yan said that there was nothing wrong there, Song Xiuming might not have answered my call because he was in a hurry.After hanging up the phone, I hesitated and heated up the food and went to the hospital.

As soon as I got off the car in front of the hospital, I received a call from Song Xiuming.

His voice was a little hoarse, and he said a little tiredly on the phone: "Xiao Le, I can't go back today, my mother is in the hospital."

I went into the hospital and looked at the guide sheet, went up to the second floor, and said, "I'll come to the hospital to look for..."

"No, I probably won't be back today. You should eat something by yourself and go to bed early."

"I'll accompany you..."

"Xiao Le," Song Xiuming said with an accentuated tone, "Hey, I'll spend the night with my mother, don't come with me."

I walked up to the second floor, just as I was about to say that I had arrived at the hospital, when I suddenly saw the backs of Song Xiuming and Lin Yan in the corridor not far away.

Song Xiuming was holding the phone, and Lin Yan was walking beside him, with both hands in the pockets of his white coat.

My footsteps stopped abruptly.

Song Xiuming asked doubtfully, "Xiao Le?"

"..." I squeezed the bag in my hand and whispered, "Have you had dinner yet?"

"I was going to eat," Song Xiuming said, "By the way, you asked me to go back early just now because..."

"Nothing," I asked, interrupting him, "are you spending the night alone with your mother?"

"Well, don't worry about it."

The two of them walked around a corner and disappeared.

I stopped at the stairs, feeling sore, I twitched the corners of my mouth and said, "That's fine, don't be too tired."

"it is good."

I looked at the untouched food in my hand, and my emotions suddenly became very complicated.

Spend the night alone with his mother?Impossible, Lin Yan will definitely accompany him.

It's true, if I go to spend the night with him, how will Song Xiuming introduce me to his mother?his boyfriend?It must not be time yet, his mother just had a heart attack, and his son pushed a disabled person in front of her, so it would be strange not to be scared to have another heart attack.But Lin Yan is different. He was Song Xiuming's classmate in college and now a colleague.What a normal character.

I felt that I was about to be drowned in acid water, and I despised myself a little bit, and finally went home alone.

Song Xiuming did not come back that night, but he still sent a text message when I was about to go to bed, telling me to go to bed early.I wanted to write something back to him, but after thinking about it for a long time, I didn't know what to write, so I turned off the phone.

The next day, Liang Liang and I were busy until eight or nine in the evening, when Lin Luo came to see us.

I got on the bus with both of them.

Liang Liang talked about Tang Qilin, and heard that he beat Qi Ling's friends once after seeing Qi Ling's friends after that night, but he was caught by the same police again and taken to the police station.

I twitched the corners of my mouth, and I was not as excited as I was when I heard the news.

Seeing that I was not in a good mood, Liang Liang asked me, "Why haven't you seen Song Xiuming in the past few days?"

I said, "Fucking mother went to the hospital yesterday and didn't come back all night."

Liang Liang was speechless: "Ah? Is his mother okay now?"

Thinking of what Lin Yan said, I think there should be no problem.

But when he got home, Song Xiuming called again to say he couldn't come back today.

I frowned and asked, "What's wrong?"

"My mother's heart is sick again," Song Xiuming sighed, "Her heart has always been bad. The doctor said that if it continues like this, it will be serious..."

I was startled and said, "So serious?"

"Yeah," Song Xiuming's tone was a bit self-deprecating, "She has been busy with work, and when she gave birth to me, her heart suddenly failed, and it was because of this disease that she couldn't continue working in the hospital. .”

I comforted: "It's okay, your mother is also a doctor, it will be fine."

Song Xiuming laughed and said, "If you are a doctor, you won't get sick?"

I was at a loss for words and didn't know what to say.

"Hey, forget it, I won't make fun of you."

I thought about it and said, "Do you want me to accompany you?"

Song Xiuming chuckled and asked, "Did you miss me?"

"……No."

"I miss you too," Song Xiuming said quickly, ignoring my objection at all, "I should be back tomorrow, don't worry."

When I hung up the phone, I was somewhat lonely facing the empty room.

Song Xiuming did not come back until late at night the next day.

As soon as I was awakened by his voice, he had already hugged me up and down, and kissed me gently on my neck.I muttered in a daze, "Song Xiuming?"

He turned over and pressed on me to kiss my lips, sticking his tongue in, breathing hot.

I hugged him subconsciously, and couldn't help crying out in pain when his buttocks were squeezed tightly by his hands.

Song Xiuming stopped, lightly pecked the tip of my nose, and said, "Xiao Le, I'm back."

I asked, "Is your mother okay?"

"I'm fine for now, but I'm still observing in the hospital," Song Xiuming sighed, lying beside me, and said, "I haven't been home for a long time, and I didn't expect such a thing to happen this time."

I wondered: "Then why did you move out of the house?"

"Because my home is too far away from where I work now." After a pause, Song Xiuming said, "Of course there is another reason... After she found someone to stare at me, I always wanted to stay away from home."

I was stunned and fell silent.

Even family members would still feel a little nervous about being followed.I stroked his hair as a reassurance.

Song Xiuming stared at the ceiling in a daze for a while, then slowly said: "I never told you about my parents because I didn't want to mention them. I actually admired them when I was young, otherwise I wouldn't have been admitted to the doctor's office." In this business, it’s just what happened back then, and the distance between me and them is quite a bit.”

I didn't know how to comfort him. After thinking about it, I said, "...then you plan...how to tell your parents about me?"

Song Xiuming turned his head to look at me, and said with a smile, "Let's wait for this time to pass."

Two days later it was time for me to go for acupuncture again.

After entering the hospital elevator, I just wanted to press the floor number, but my eyes moved to "2", and I hesitated.The people around me urged me, and I pressed it in a panic, and I was stunned for a moment.When the elevator went up, I couldn't help but tense up, and my palms were slightly sweaty.

I don't know what I'm thinking, Song Xiuming's mother doesn't know me at all...but she just wants to take a look.

No matter what she did to Song Xiuming, it was his mother after all.I always feel that I should take a look, I can't be completely indifferent...

I sighed, thinking when did I become such a mother-in-law.

When I got to the second floor, I felt that my IQ had dropped a lot, and I didn't know what Song Xiuming's mother looked like, so I might not be able to recognize it even if I looked around.

Just walking in the corridor on the second floor without a word, just thinking about going directly upstairs to find Lin Yan, when I turned my head by chance, I saw a familiar figure and stopped.

In the ward, a thin woman was lying on the hospital bed, with some wrinkles around her eyes, but she didn't look old.Her eyebrows and eyes are very similar to Song Xiuming's, and she has a gentle feeling when she smiles.Lin Yan was sitting by the hospital bed, peeling an apple in his hand.Song Xiuming stood by the bed, chatting with her.

The windows were open, and the people in the room did not deliberately lower their voices, so their conversations more or less reached my ears.

"...Xiao Yan, you see that you are the same as our Xiu Ming, why don't you just try with him?"

"Mom..." Song Xiuming said helplessly.

"I'm serious, what do you think? Xiu Ming is not bad, right?"

Lin Yan raised his head, probably smiling at Song Xiuming's mother, but he did not say any rebuttal.

I pursed my lips tightly, and I could see my own face imprinted on the glass window was expressionless.

Suddenly, a suspicious voice came from behind: "You are..."

I turned around and saw a middle-aged man holding a thermos in his hand.

I lowered my head and walked away without saying anything.

When Song Xiuming came back at night, I was watching TV, adjusting the channel, but my head was in a mess.Song Xiuming came over and put his arms around my shoulders, and was about to bend down to kiss me, but I blocked him.

Song Xiuming was stunned.

I turned off the TV, remained silent for a few seconds, and said bluntly: "Song Xiuming, do you know that Lin Yan likes you?"

It is true that I have no idea to say this sentence without communicating with Lin Yan, but as someone who likes Song Xiuming, I can still see what he means.I thought a lot about it, and figured out how to tell Song Xiuming that Lin Yan was indeed interested in him. I really minded seeing the two of them like that, but after seeing Song Xiuming's expression, my heart sank completely.

I asked in disbelief, "...you know?"

Song Xiuming looked at me silently for a few seconds, opened his mouth to speak, I interrupted him, stood up and said in astonishment: "You...you know he likes you and you introduced him to me for acupuncture...you Knowing that he likes you, let him stay by your side like this?"

"Xiao Le!" Song Xiuming frowned.

I think this is too ridiculous. I wanted to explain it clearly to Song Xiuming so that he and Lin Yan could draw a line.

I'm not a petite person, and I wouldn't say that Lin Yan was a little ambiguous to him and let them cut off contact completely, after all, Lin Yan didn't do anything.

What Song Xiuming's mother said made me a little uncomfortable, but I thought it would be fine if I made it clear to Song Xiuming, but I didn't expect that Song Xiuming always had a bottom line in his heart.

For a moment, I felt that this man was strange.

Song Xiuming was startled, frowned and said, "Xiao Le, things are not what you think!"

I stared at him for a long time, a little speechless, just asked: "Did Lin Yan stay with you during the two days you were with your mother in the hospital?"

Song Xiuming was silent for a few seconds, and said, "Yes, I asked him to go back, but he didn't go."

I don't know what to say, for example, why can he be with you and I can't, why can he sit beside your mother's bed and be pulled by your mother's red thread, and I can only finish a table of meals and send them to you. You don't even want to eat.

After thinking about it, I felt that these words were too unreasonable.

I calmed myself down and asked him, "What are you going to do about this?"

"I'll make it clear to him," Song Xiuming frowned, "but things are really not what you think."

"What am I thinking?" I laughed.

"I..." Song Xiuming looked a little frustrated, "I only found out today that he likes me."

"today?"

"I really didn't know before, but I realized something was wrong today, Xiao Le, I..."

"Then what did you say to him?" I asked staring at him.

"...I haven't talked to him about this matter yet." Song Xiuming said helplessly.

I was silent.

"Xiao Le, how did you know about this? What did Lin Yan... tell you?" Song Xiuming asked with a frown.

why would i know

...Because I like you, and because I feel a little inferior compared to Lin Yan...that's why I noticed it.

I suddenly felt a huge gap. The negative emotions from the previous two days seemed to return to me all of a sudden, and my whole body became powerless.

Yes, the difference between Lin Yan and I is not only the superficial things, but also the psychology.I am known as a sharp-tongued person, but I am afraid that I am extremely humble in my heart.

I was a little embarrassed, and I didn't even know how to face Song Xiuming's gaze.

These emotions have always been buried in my heart. If I hadn't met Qi Ling and those people in "Night" that day, I'm afraid they wouldn't have been dug up and exposed to the sun.I'm afraid I'll avoid it all my life, and perhaps wait until much later to discover what's really wrong with me as a person.

I was at a loss for a while, and I just felt that it was out of place for me to stand in this place.

Song Xiuming stretched out his hand and softly called out, "Xiao Le?"

I took a step back reflexively, and looked up at him, his expression was a little surprised.

I was silent for a long time, and found a way out for myself: "I...I'm not in a good mood these two days, and I want to stay at Liang Liang's place for two days... You can come to me after you figure out what happened to Lin Yan."

"Xiao Le!" Song Xiuming shouted, but I opened the door as if I was running away, and rushed out in embarrassment.