I am in love with myself

Jian Yixi had a dream, a dream so charming that she was ashamed to speak, she was so addicted to the dream that she couldn't extricate herself, even the piercing in her stomach didn't seem to hurt anymore.

It was in the middle of the night when she woke up from the dream. She opened her eyes in a daze, and felt that her body was cold, and someone was helping her to wipe her body.

The ward was dark, the curtains were drawn, the bed curtains were also drawn, the lights were not turned on, only the corridor light diffused dimly through the glass on the door.

Even though it was so dim, so dark that only the outline of the person who wiped her body could be vaguely outlined, Jian Yixi recognized her as An Mu at a glance.

An Mu...Why are you here?

Doesn't she hate her?

Didn't he know that she was going to die and still be indifferent, and even slapped her?

Does she not hate her?

No, no, how could she not hate it?If she didn't hate it, she wouldn't send that message, saying that she is doing great without her.

This must be a dream.

The stomach that was excruciatingly painful before, now feels nothing at all, it is even warm and comfortable, if it is not a dream, it cannot be like this.

But if it is really a dream, why is the feeling of being wiped so obvious?Even An Mu's breathing was so clear that he could touch it with his hand?

An Mu wiped it clean, helped her put on her trousers and covered her with a quilt, and lifted the curtain with a basin. Blooming and dissipating with the curtain of the bed.

An Mu's figure disappeared behind the curtain, leaving only the sound of slight footsteps and the opening of the bathroom door.

Is this... a dream or reality?

The distant memory and the reality overlap, and it seems that he has returned to the past in a trance. Jian Yixi wakes up from a serious illness, and Zhuang Zhou is confused like a butterfly in a dream.

Was she in the hospital with a broken bone in a car accident six years ago, and had a dream of being admitted to Tsinghua University, falling in love with An Mu, and getting a stomach piercing?Or was he in the hospital with a perforated stomach six years later, dreaming of being hospitalized with a broken bone and being taken care of by An Mu?

Jian Yixi couldn't figure it out clearly, and had no time to think about it. An Mu lifted the curtain and came back, gently put the basin under the bed, lifted the quilt carefully, and lay down next to her.

In the dark, Jian Yixi blinked, An Mu's warm breath sprayed on her neck, and her forehead scratched her cheek itchingly.

This... doesn't look like a dream, so it's six years ago?She's still broken?

Jian Yixi groped and pressed her chest, it seemed... a little painful, she pressed it harder, it really hurt a little.

All... was this really six years ago?

It should be, otherwise, how could An Mu help her wipe there, and even lay down beside her.

Jian Yixi felt that she should be embarrassed and ashamed, just like in her memory, but her mind was numb, and she really didn't feel ashamed at all, and she was even... very happy.

why?Just because she had a dream of falling in love with An Mu, and then she really fell in love?

Or did she love An Mu in the first place, but she didn't realize that the dream opened her heart, so she accepted it as a matter of course?

Jian Yixi was thinking wildly, and the hand on his chest was pressed down. An Mu suddenly raised his body and looked down at her.

"It still hurts?"

An Mu's voice was very soft, it was obviously not talking to her, but talking to himself.

Jian Yixi was about to say that she was not in pain, but An Mu turned over and got out of bed, and went out lightly. In the dead of night, An Mu's voice of going to the nurse's station to ask clearly entered Jian Yixi's ears.

"Excuse me, how long does it take for the painkiller to take effect?"

"Usually it takes half an hour to take effect. If it's quicker than ten minutes, of course there are also slow ones and pain that doesn't stop after the onset. This is based on personal physique."

An Mu didn't ask any more questions. He came back slowly, put the quilt back on the bed, and lay down next to her.

Jian Yixi took a deep breath, and was about to say, "Don't worry if I don't hurt you", when the side of her waist suddenly felt cold, and An Mu's hand pressed against her.

Jian Yixi was stunned, and his head, which had just woken up a little, turned into a mess again.

——What the hell is going on here?What is An Mu doing?

The question "What is An Mu doing?" was quickly answered. Jian Yixi felt An Mu's cold hands in disbelief. She didn't regain her senses for a long time. She fell into the question of "is this a dream" or "is it not a dream" again? infinite loop.

No, not a dream, this feels too real to be a dream!

Jian Yixi grabbed An Mu's hand, her breathing was heavy, her hand was strong, but her voice was as soft as a sheep.

"You, what are you doing?"

"I like you."

An Mu's voice was as flat as water, without the slightest ups and downs of emotion, but it seemed as if a wave of shock hit Jian Yixi's heart.

"What... what?"

In the dark, An Mu sighed, pulled out the hand she was holding tightly, raised it up, and turned on the small bedside lamp.

Warm white light scattered on An Mu's face, and the familiar amber eyes looked at her seriously.

Jian Yixi sat up and stared straight ahead. It took a long time before she turned over and got out of bed. Without answering An Mu, she went straight to the bathroom.

Washing his face with a splash, the cold water made Jian Yixi's mind sober that he could no longer be sober.

She propped the sink in front of the mirror, her thin arms stretched straight, her pale face in the mirror was almost the same as six years ago, but the bright sign of the Third Affiliated Hospital on the hospital gown was definitely not where she lived six years ago Weicheng Hospital.

Jian Yixi took off the towel and wiped off the water droplets on her face, and pressed her ribs, it hurt, but this is not a special case, as long as you press hard, anyone will hurt, it's ridiculous that she really thought she had done a test just now The dream of going to Tsinghua University.

Jian Yixi tried to curl her lips in the mirror, with messy black hair and a bloodless face, she didn't look like a normal person, but rather a fool.

No, it's not like, she's just a stupid ×!

She actually believed An Mu's nonsense for a moment just now!

An Mu likes her?Stop laughing.

How many times did she try to test An Mu back then?How many times did you ask An Mu?As long as An Mu had any different feelings for her, she would not go to this dead end today.

An Mu doesn't like her, even if he likes her, it's just a friendly liking. An Mu would say that, he must know the truth, sympathize with her, pity her, or feel guilty, coupled with the effect of past friendship, this is why he wronged himself Said "like".

She doesn't need her to do this. If she really wanted to do this, she would have compromised as early as at the gate of the Civil Affairs Bureau. Why wait until today?

Jian Yixi didn't think she was a great person. She chose to die silently by herself, not just for An Mu's sake. She admitted that she really couldn't see An Mu's death, but this was not the main reason for her suicide. .

She also impulsively wanted to tell An Mu everything and force An Mu to be with her. In fact, she didn't care whether An Mu loved her or not. As long as they could be together, it was enough. Excessive expectations would only make her suffer and life would be short. In just a few decades, why make yourself unhappy?

But she still didn't show her cards in the end, because she understood that there are some things that you can't just ignore if you don't want to.

An Mu yearns for a free life. This kind of freedom does not only refer to behavior, but the most important thing is consciousness.

An Mu, who is forced to bind herself, is not free. Not being free means being unhappy. She can ignore An Mu's unhappiness for one day, two days, or even three or five years. Can she ignore it for a lifetime? ?

She could not care that An Mu didn't love her, and she could spend the rest of her life around An Mu and live her life as a real love brain, but she couldn't face the unhappy An Mu for the rest of her life.

If you are destined to spend the rest of your life in pain, why not choose to end it early?

In this way, not only will her suffering be shortened, but An Mu's rest of her life will also be easier.

So, she is really not a great person, she is just avoiding the life she doesn't want to face, shortening her pain, and sacrificing herself for safety An Mu is intoxicated with herself, as if she really touched the world .

Jian Yixi closed her eyes, no matter how clear and rational her mind was, the warmth of An Mu's fingers still remained in her body.

Forget, forget quickly!You can be confused at any time, but absolutely not at this time!

Jian Yixi pushed the door out and walked towards An Mu with a blank expression. An Mu had already sat up, leaning against the head of the bed and looking at her. Her ice-white face was still beautiful, and her long honey-brown hair looked like galvanized under the light. After wearing Yinshuang, no matter how you look at it, it looks fascinating.

Jian Yixi restrained herself from looking at her less. She didn't know how many times she had sneaked a peek at An Mu in the past six months. Why did she still feel like she hadn't seen her for a long time?

Jian Yixi sat on the edge of the bed, her gaze was firm and firm, not looking at anything other than An Mu's forehead, she didn't dare to look into An Mu's eyes, she didn't have the courage to look at her.

Fortunately, there was not much difference between her forehead and her eyes. At first glance, it seemed that she was really looking at An Mu.

"That school girl is a member of the supernatural society, and she is always talking nonsense. Did you hear her talking nonsense?"

"Who? You mean Gu Shuofeng?"

"I didn't bother to look for her. You fainted suddenly and frightened us, so we took you to the hospital first. After that, you remained in a coma. I asked my second brother Mao Mao and the others to go back first, and said that I would look for her tomorrow. "

"Have you found her yet?"

Jian Yixi was slightly startled, she never doubted An Mu's words, she would believe whatever An Mu said.

"Then why...why..."

Jian Yixi was suddenly at a loss for words, but fortunately An Mu answered.

"I like you, it's true. That sentence is quite right. I know I miss you only when we are separated, and I know love after a long separation. After half a year of separation, I finally understand my feelings."

Jian Yixi's long eyelashes were like fans, with a faint shadow cast on his face, he whispered: "But you stayed in France for five years before, and I didn't see you figured it out..."

"That's because we keep in touch every day, I feel that you are always by my side, and I am used to it. In the past half a year, we suddenly stopped contacting, and I realized that I can't do without you."

"But you just sent a text message before, saying that I will be fine without you..."

An Mu's half-opened red lips paused, the brows slightly raised, her half-closed beautiful eyes dimmed, making Jian Yixi feel flustered, but she still stared at An Mu's forehead... Use actions to show that you don't believe An Mu's nonsense.

An Mu's half-opened red lips finally closed, and he only said lightly, "So you received it."

Why does this sound...a bit wrong?

Jian Yixi suddenly realized that she had long forgotten her stance of pretending to be ruthless, and subconsciously explained: "I didn't mean not to reply to you, I just..."

——I just saw that you said that I’m fine without you, and I felt uncomfortable. Besides, I just read a sentence and you withdrew it. I thought you didn’t want me to reply, so I didn’t reply.

"Okay, no need to explain, I understand, I'll give you time, you think about it, I know you won't wait for me where you are, if you really don't like me, I will never force you."

Having said all this, An Mu threw off the quilt quickly and got out of bed, picked up his woolen coat, walked to the sofa in the corner of the room and lay down, covering his body with the woolen coat.

"good night."

Jian Yixi lifted the bed curtain and looked at An Mu who was sleeping with his eyes closed. His eyes filled with star dust flickered several times, and he was just...a little confused.

——What's the situation?Didn't you say you like her?He even likes to touch her to the point where, how can he just leave?Don't you have all the acting?

- Why does she feel... An Mu seems to be angry?

Jian Yixi thought about it carefully for a long time, but she really couldn't remember which sentence she had offended An Mu.

——What did she say wrong?

The author has something to say: I really want to break my head but I can't figure it out!

I can grit my teeth to do [-] daily changes, why am I still late every day on the [-]rd? !

Why? ! why? ! ! !