red dust under the lamp

Ning Jue and Xie Yichen ate around a table, Aunt Shu was as quiet as a gust of wind, Xie Yichen ate while Ning Jue moved his chopsticks.Ning Jue suddenly wanted to say a few words of thanks to Xie Yichen, because of the one, two, three, and four items from last year to now, not all because Xie Yichen promised to help her and ask if there was anything he could do for her—but without the beginning of the words, there was no way out. Speaking of which, she chewed the leaves of vegetables and the bones of beef, grinding them finely with her teeth to prevent any one without eyes from getting stuck between her teeth.

She lives close to Xu Liwen now, and the details can reveal a lot of information. She is a villain, not a gentleman. She often infers who hugged Xu Liwen through the long hair on the neckline, so she is also careful and eats delicious food secretly. Yes, if she accidentally put it on the table between her teeth, it became a means for her to break up with Xu Liwen.

Although she made plans in advance and used Xu Liwen as a one-time ticket to Haijing, Xu Liwen seemed to gradually reveal her worth. One day before she took a serious look at Xu Liwen's thing last time, he gave her a surprise. Served her a cake to celebrate her birthday.

The birthday is real, but Ning Jue only feels that it has nothing to do with her. She is watching a group of girls with silly smiles and crooked eyebrows clustered in front of the cake like in TV dramas, pretending to wish on a certain comet, and then blowing out the candles. Never thought that one day she would have to play such a silly role, Xu Liwen happily took out eighteen candles and poked them on the cream, because the candle lighting skills were not good, they melted like eighteen candles ready to go. Bronze man.

Ning Jue put out his own face in front of the eighteen bronze figures, and solemnly blew out a gust of evil wind to subdue them all.At some point, she turned into a girl with brain problems who could only giggle, but there was an unprecedented countercurrent surging in her chest, and there was a surge of blood and emotion, and she almost thought it was love.

But this love lasted for a few days. When she saw the braised pork from Xie Yichen's house, she suddenly understood that she didn't love Xu Liwen, so much so that she didn't even think about whether Xu Liwen had good food when she saw the table full of food. Instead, she wanted to hide what she had eaten. Traces of meat.

Aunt Shu, who was cooking, didn't even think about breaking up a possible marriage while cooking by herself, and shuttled around peacefully.

Before leaving, Aunt Shu asked her to come and see her often, Xie Yichen didn't say much, and killed a game of chess with her, but when he started playing, Xie Yichen found that she didn't understand the rules of chess, and both the horse and the bishop started to walk in a straight line, swallowing the sky Blinding the sun and heading towards the base camp, Xie Yichen didn't point out Ning Jue's mistake, allowing his general to be eaten without any rules, then put away the chessboard on his lap, and let her go back.

She just had nothing to do in the afternoon, and she had nothing to do in the afternoon. She relied on the map of Haijing that came with the printed travel advertisement when she got off the bus to identify the east, west, north, south, north, south, and walked around a few streets. With Xie Yichen's residential area as the center, she got familiar with the terrain everywhere. The law and order is much better than usual, there are very few gangsters on the street, and the word civilized is written on everyone's face.

Ning Jue wandered the streets for a long time, but Xie Yichen lived in a bustling place, and there were few people she was familiar with, so she returned with little interest and went to a nearby bookstore, but was kicked out because she only read but didn't buy.

On the way back, she suddenly wanted to impress herself, pretending that her heartless love for Xu Liwen was actually her heartless love, so she detoured to the vegetable market, bought celery, carrots, shallots, and cut some meat When he came back, he chopped up everything and fried it together, and made a big bowl of rice for Xu Liwen.

After cooking, her emotion disappeared completely. Once she thought that she would wait for a man to come home for dinner like this in the future, she still had to find a reason to touch herself. For this reason, she ruminated on the candlelight on her birthday, which made her feel faintly disgusted. Before she came back, she ate half of it herself, but it was too much, so she gave Xu Liwen the rest.

She ate a lot of greasy food, woke up at night and vomited, and more and more things gushed out of her throat into the smelly toilet.

Then her eyes were foggy, and when she came out of the toilet, she saw her own soul floating in the middle of the gray-black curtain, constantly floating with various body odors, just like Qin Keqing saying goodbye to Wang Xifeng, floating faintly, only herself was left alive on the earth people.

She went to the rooftop covered with puddles, searched all over her body and couldn't find a cigarette to smoke, so she squatted on the top of the building overlooking the earth. The blackness and the flickering fireworks in the distance made her forget that she was on the earth, the world was turned upside down, and the roof of the building It is the deepest part of the [-]th floor of hell, and she sees the world through here.

Her eyes were suddenly wet, and she wiped her tears with the back of her hand but for some reason she couldn't wipe them away. There were tears all over her hands and face, and she silently wiped her snot and tears, turning up her collar and blocking half of her face.

She doesn't know what she wants like Xie Yichen.But she knew that she wanted someone to love her, unconditionally and with all her heart.I love her like I love my life.

But she has lived for 18 years and knows that what she wants is the most impossible thing in the world. If her thing can come true, then Xie Yichen will be able to stand up on the spot—all miracles cannot compare to her miracle, what she wants What is it?It is an endless fantasy.

It’s not as dignified as Xie Yichen, she just wants someone to love her, a humble heart wrapped in a cold and innocent appearance - she knows what this kind of desire is called in the world, a girl like her, People call them whores.

And she also hates herself for being a bitch with high standards and strict requirements. Xu Liwen may love her, but she doesn't love Xu Liwen, so she forced herself because of this, and suddenly found that she couldn't force herself. She tried to force herself, but the result was that she found that She didn't love Xu Liwen, so even Xu Liwen's so-called love became contemptible.

She was full and supported herself, and it was her own fault.

It's cocooning oneself, it's moaning without illness, it's seeking fish from a tree, it's fishing for a moon in water.

Not reconciled.

She took a deep breath of the cold air and exhaled a cloud of white mist. The moon hadn't come out yet, and the sky of Haijing was like a huge black cauldron, pinned on the city in the round sky.

When she got up the next day, after sweeping the street, she suddenly realized that she forgot to tell Xie Yichen how to contact her, and when she went to Xie's house again, she met Ms. Xie.

Ms. Xie went downstairs wearing a coat with a pair of suede gloves stuffed in her pocket. When she passed by, she seemed familiar, so she looked away a little. In the narrow stairwell, she raised her head and said hello: "Ms. Did you leave early?"

As soon as she spoke, Ms. Xie remembered: "You came to Haijing too? Come to visit us, Xie Yichen?"

"Well, long time no see to see her."

"She's going to the doctor this afternoon, I'm afraid—"

"It just so happens that I'm fine this afternoon, so I'll go and have a look, too, okay?"

When the doctor and Xie Yichen were in the room, Ning Jue was waiting outside. Ms. Xie panted anxiously, sat beside her for a while, then stood up and paced.

Ning Jue leaned on the back of the chair to catch up on sleep, her eyes were drooped, and she seemed to be asleep.

Xie Yichen suddenly called her: "Ning Jue—"

At that time, Aunt Shu went to the bathroom, and Ms. Xie seemed unable to help her. Ning Jue woke up with a start, stood up, but almost hit Ms. Xie's chin.

Ms. Xie kept her head down and looked at Ning Jue, until Xie Yichen called out, and she suddenly dug out the name from the dust of memory.

Caught off guard, he recognized her without any drama: "Ning Jue?"

Ms. Xie didn't think there was anything wrong with the name at first, so she called it plain and straightforward, but when the voice changed at this moment, the meaning behind the words was immediately revealed.

Ning Jue understood, and suddenly broke out in cold sweat, and froze in place.

Xie Yichen stretched out his hand towards her through the crack of the door, she got up and held that hand: "What's the matter?"

"The doctor said that if I don't stand up and walk around, my legs will shrink. If this continues, I may have to amputate." Xie Yichen said.

"Ah? Why don't you tell Ms. Xie?" She lowered her voice, feeling that she couldn't bear such a big news.

Xie Yichen suddenly said: "Because I can't stand up, maybe she will directly make me amputate."

Ning Jue suddenly felt that he could bear it, and sighed: "Then what can I do to let you go? Give you an alloy skeleton, and drag you away as soon as you plug it in?"

Ms. Xie coughed a few times outside the door. Xie Yichen looked pale. Ning Jue patted her on the shoulder thoughtfully, then greeted the doctor with a smile on her face, dragged Xie Yichen out, and thundered at the beginning: "The doctor advises She amputated."

Xie Yichen almost passed out.

Ms. Xie also showed panic, and after a little pressure, she became calm: "Um..."

"But the doctor said there is a way to avoid amputation. It is to keep her legs moving so that the muscles will not atrophy. When the medical science is more advanced in the future, the two legs are preserved, and she may be able to walk around." Ning Jue told Xie Yichen to her The words reversed the order in her own way, and Ms. Xie pondered for a moment: "How can I get her to exercise? This is a problem."

"Aha, I have a solution. It's still 700 yuan a month. Can you hire me?" Ning Jue blinked.

The question goes back to the moment when Ms. Xie recognized her.

Ms. Xie just looked at Ning Jue from head to toe with deep eyes, to see what she looks like when she grows up - the last time she paid so much attention to Ning Jue, it was because Ning Jue always jumped very high in front of opportunities, Ning Jue Shouting "Choose me, choose me".