like drinking ice

I was woken up by noises outside.

"It's okay, you continue to sleep." Zheng Ao has already got up: "I'll go outside to have a look, probably someone is coming."

I just woke up, and my whole body was still a little blurry. I watched him put on his coat and go out. The moment he opened the door, Li Xiu was standing outside.Folding his arms, frowning, he stood at the door and looked at me.

I was probably a little hypotensive, dizzy, and looked at him too.

"Hey! What's the matter with you guys!" Li Xiu couldn't hide his words, and said very directly, "Why did you get together again!"

I leaned on the pillow and smiled.

"Why don't you say that we have gone through hardships and are happy with each other?"

"It's said that you have gone through hardships. Could it be that all the hardships you have suffered have been in vain? Now is not the time for you to burn to death alone in your own room? You are still in love with him, aren't you..."

It's hard for Li Xiu to take my mood into consideration.

But even if he stopped in time, I knew it was a "cheap" word.

The atmosphere was a little awkward for a while.

I glanced at the door.

"What's going on outside? So noisy?"

"People from the Guan family said that Guan Ying wanted to see Zheng Ao, so they ran to the hospital to look for them, and I asked the guards to stop them." Li Xiu didn't have a good word: "These people only come when my father is away."

"Where did your dad go?"

"Going to the scene of the accident." Li Xiu dragged a chair and sat down. He must have been busy all night yesterday, no matter how energetic he was, he couldn't handle it: "My dad must go to see it in person, or fly over."

Only Li Zhurong dared to fly on the second day after his best friend crashed.

But I guess it ended in the past.

I don't understand others, but I see Zheng Ao very clearly, and Zheng Yehu is probably the mature version of Zheng Ao.Take ten thousand steps back, even if I don't understand, I can see the clues in Zheng Ao's attitude.Li Zhurong hides his secrets, but Zheng Ao's score is a little lower.As for Li Xiu, I probably really don't know.

"It is said that the wreckage was found?" I asked Li Xiu.

"The DNA test is already underway, and my dad brought Zheng Ao's DNA sample over there." Li Xiu was a little impatient with sleepiness: "I guess the results will come out in the evening."

"Would you like to go to bed and sleep for a while." I got up and let him sleep.

Li Xiu waved his hand.

Being so sleepy, he still didn't have a good word to say.

"Who knows if you guys just fucked in bed."

I was choked by him, stunned for two seconds, and countered: "Did we mess around, you can't hear it outside the door?"

Probably when I was very unrestrained like this before, Li Xiu raised his eyes lazily and looked at me, a little admiringly.

"Who wants to listen to your corner..." He rested his head on the back of the chair, obviously well versed in the technique of 'how to fall asleep on a chair', and he was still that fierce little Hades when he was so sleepy: "I Let me remind you first, ask Zheng Yehu to go for a physical examination earlier, if he does that outside, he will be shot sooner or later..."

I waited for a while, and he really fell asleep.

I didn't dare to move him to the bed. When he fell asleep when I was a child, I wanted to cover him with a quilt, but he caught me and threw him over my shoulder, and I fell unconscious for a long time. Of course, it is not ruled out that he did it on purpose.Fortunately, he probably just rested for a while this time. In less than half an hour, a phone call came, and he was going to see Yuan Hai again.

Even Li Xiu knows that I won't forgive him so easily.

Zheng Ao took it for granted that as long as he apologized lightly and said a few sincere words, I would tolerate him as always.

Probably in his heart, I'm just that cheap.

Li Zhurong came back soon, bringing back several boxes of ashes, two of which belonged to Lin Wei and Zheng Yehu, and said they were for a funeral.Guan Ying didn't know if it was real or just pretending, but she had another heart attack, and the Guan family had even more excuses to stay in Beijing.Zheng Ao looks very leisurely, pretending to be sick in the hospital every day, pestering me to play.

Li Xiu can't understand us very much.I don't know how my dad taught him, but he always feels very responsible to me, so even if he sees us wanting to hit someone, he still comes over from time to time to give him a disgusted glance.

The funeral was arranged six days after the accident, Beijing also has the rule of being the first seven, and the preparations were perfect, even Lu Jiaming came back from school.Xia Zhifei and Xia Chen came to the Xia family, and even the sickly Lu Feixia came. The He family and the Wang family were both headed by the previous generation. For the sisters, and Zhou Xun of the Zhou family, I haven’t seen Ye Lanzi for a long time. She is also a very smart girl. Originally, she and Zheng Ao might marry. The relationship between the two families has always been very good, because the ancestors Are related by marriage.Later, Zheng Ao looked outstanding, and became more and more playful. She went abroad to study, and got engaged to Zhou Xun for some reason, which was regarded as a win for the Ye family.

The funeral was very loud.

Zheng Ao was wearing a black suit, his face was pale, his arms were in plaster, and the corners of his eyes were red. He looked like he hadn't slept well for several days. He stood alone in front of the coffin and bowed to the guests who came to offer condolences. It looked even more pitiful, and several female elders were moved with compassion, and took out their handkerchiefs to secretly wipe their tears.There were a lot of people who came to express their condolences, but fortunately the Zheng family has a big place, so they could also entertain them. The older generation gathered in the front hall to drink tea, and we younger generations played our own games in the back.

The juniors here are obviously divided into several camps, each playing their own way, I can't get involved as usual, so I took out the information to read.After watching for a while, Lu Jiaming came over to greet me: "Xu Lang."

He is like his father, with delicate bones, but he is actually quite tall, more than 1.7 meters, but he looks a bit small next to Li Xiu, not to mention that Li Xiu always blocks him from being seen.He is the youngest, still in college, also wearing a black suit, his eyes are very clean, he always reminds me of things like jade.

Li Xiu stood beside him, looking like an escort.The relationship between the two of them has been good since childhood, and Li Xiu's appearance in front of him is different from that in front of anyone.

"Hello, Lu Jiaming."

My dad has always been very sorry, because he and Lu Jiaming's father had a good time, and he always thought that if Li Xiu hadn't made trouble, Lu Jiaming and I would have had a good time too.He said that we all have good tempers and no one would bully anyone.

Actually not.Lu Jiaming has a good temper, the kind who is confident and principled. He responds positively to the world and judges everything with his justice.I have a good temper, sometimes it is more a kind of passive connivance, helpless to be kind to others.

What's more, good people never play with good people.

Every good person should be paired with a bad person, who is domineering, fierce, selfish, or too smart.

So Lu Jiaming and I have always been just nodding acquaintances.

After sitting for a while, I finished reading one document and put it away to read the second one when a person entered the room.

It was the first time I saw Luo Xi dressed like this.

Everyone in this room is wearing formal clothes, each with its own style, Li Xiu looks upright, Lu Jiaming looks clean, Zhou Xun is honest, and Zheng Ao standing outside is extremely beautiful.The rest are crooked melons and dates.

But Luo Xi is a very gentleman.

His temperament is very suitable for that kind of British literary film, the dimly lit cloudy day, the brook with flowers and branches pressing down on the water, the blue sky full of stars hanging from the porch, or a cup of coffee in a white porcelain cup.

There was something melancholy in his eyes. When he came in and saw me, his eyes lit up, but those melancholy things were still there.

He doesn't seem to belong to any of these circles either.

But he is the only son of the Luo family, and if he can't get in, it can only mean that he doesn't want to get in.There were quite a few people in the room greeting him, Ye Lanzi's attitude spoke volumes, she nodded towards Luo Xi.It not only maintains the reserve of a lady who does not initiate a conversation, but also expresses basic courtesy.

Luo Xi walked towards me.

Li Xiu didn't seem to have any ties with him, so after taking a look at him, he continued talking to Lu Jiaming.

"Roxi."

"Well, Xu Lang." He sat down beside me.

"Is your father not here?" I asked him.

"He'll be back in the afternoon," he said.

"You have something to say?" I asked him.

He glanced around.

Everyone seemed to be concentrating on their own affairs. Ye Susu was talking to Zhou Xun with an arrogant expression, Ye Lanzi looked at her gently, Wang Lang and He Lianshan were talking about the places they had been recently, and Li Xiu looked disgusted. Looking at these peers, Lu Jiaming was talking to him in a friendly voice...

I have always felt that the social circle is a very strange existence. When you talk to them, they don't see you at all.But no matter what you do, someone will know.

If Luo Xi and I chat here, it won't take long for everyone in this circle to know what we are talking about.

"Let's go out and talk." I said to Luo Xi, "There are beautiful cinnabar plums in the backyard. I'll take you there to see them."

Meet Zheng Ao in the corridor.

Probably something happened at the temporary work, he walked away in a hurry, followed by Zheng Yan with an anxious face, I was talking to Luo Xi, and when I got closer, I realized that the four of them bumped into each other.

"Where are you going, Xiao Lang?" Zheng Ao asked me bluntly.

"Luo Xi and I will go outside for a walk." Seeing that Zheng Yan was anxious like an ant on a hot pot, I quickly reminded him: "If you have something to do, go and do it first."

Zheng Ao glanced at Zheng Yan, probably the matter was really urgent, so he had to let me go first, and before he left, he said in a very uncomfortable voice: "It's freezing and snowing outside, what's the fun here."

Luo Xi watched Zheng Ao's back disappear at the end of the corridor.

"He has such a temper," I explained for Zheng Ao: "You don't have to worry about it, he's not targeting you."

Luo Xi looked at me.

His eyes are not very stern. After staying with Li Xiu and Zheng Ao for a long time, he is used to the aura of all kinds of proud sons of heaven, but he has no resistance to such silent eyes.

I lowered my eyes.

"Let's go, through this area, you can see plum blossoms."

In my impression, this plum blossom forest is very big, and I can't walk to the end. It is as beautiful as a fairyland.I haven't seen it for so many years, but when I grow up and look at it again, I find that it is far less elusive than when I was a child. No matter how beautiful it is, it is just a forest.

"What's wrong?" Luo Xi asked me.

I often doubt whether he is the only son and sole heir of the Luo family that others usually talk about, because he often has the kind of keen observation and empathy that only people who live under the fence have.

"It's just a memory of something from my childhood." I smiled, put my hands in my coat pockets, and exhaled a breath of white mist.

When I was young, I felt that the Zheng family was a fairyland, a good place that I dare not even dream about, because thinking about it would be a betrayal of my father.When I grow up, I see a lot of things, and gradually realize that some things are not as good as I thought.Perhaps some beautiful dreams and some lifelong goals are just illusions created by oneself, and behind those self-deceiving illusions are all bloody and sharp realities.

Luo Xi didn't smile.

"Actually, I've always wanted to know how you lived as a child."

"What do you want to know?" I smiled at him.

He didn't speak any more.

However, the plum blossoms are still beautiful.

A branch blooms on the branch, condensing into cinnabar red.Snowflakes accumulate on the branches, and the red plums reflect the snow is a scene only in the painting.It's the second time I've come here in this life. I don't know the road, and it gets narrower and narrower as I walk. I hit a branch, and the snowflakes fell directly into my neck. I was so cold that I shivered.

Luo Xi stretched out her hand and separated the branches for me.

I didn't know he was so much taller than me.

"Luo Xi." I stopped him.

"what happened?"

"What did you just want to ask me?"

I've come here, there is no way ahead, I can't sit down and have a peaceful chat, it's better to say it once, I don't want any misunderstanding caused by not saying anything.

Luo Xi stared at the plum blossom in his hand.

"You are with Zheng Ao again, aren't you?"

Even though he knew he was going to ask this question, it was still difficult to answer at this time.

"I don't mean anything else, I'm just worried about you." After all, he couldn't hold back, and hurriedly showed his hole cards.This is the case between people, whoever cares more will suffer more.

My grip on the inner pocket of my coat gradually loosened.

There's probably nothing to be nervous about in front of this man, and I'm not afraid to voice those dark, stinging thoughts, and I know he'll never condemn me.I don't know why, but I just believe him.

"Yeah, I'm with him again."

It's not counted as being together, but a unilateral forgiveness. In this so-called reconciliation, I don't know how much love is and how much dependence is.

Luo Xi didn't question me, he just asked: "Then what are you going to do?"

"If I say that I don't have a definite plan in my heart, would you believe it?" I asked him back: "I just know a general direction. Lawyer Su said that you should not embarrass yourself, you don't have to accommodate others, and do what you want. I just It’s just following your heart.”

"But Zheng Ao..."

"It's none of his business anymore." I looked at the snow under the plum tree: "Whether he is sincere or not, whether he is playing tricks or scheming has nothing to do with me, as long as I have a clear conscience. My thoughts are too messy now, and I am too worried. Duo, even if you don’t meet him, you can’t continue to live your life as if nothing had happened. It’s better to face it directly, reconcile and reconcile. It’s better to find nothing than to mess around with his words. He, keep on singing this play, until the last moment, who knows who will win or lose?"

Luo Xi looked at me in shock.

When I actually said it, I laughed instead.

"I think, it may be difficult for me to like other people in my life. My dad hasn't liked anyone since he was 21 years old. I think I'm similar." I said, "It's better to have nothing and be desolate for so many years. , why don’t you try again, whether it’s catastrophe or nemesis, you have to face it before you pass. You can’t lose without trying anything, it’s too bad to have no name or name.”

"Also, Luo Xi, have you heard of Nirvana?"

I lowered my head and looked at the trampled snow.

"You have to die thoroughly before you can reach Nirvana."

The saddest time is over for me.Those long nights of tossing and turning, and the bitterness that I couldn't figure out no matter how I thought about it, will never be there again.Those secret loves who trust wholeheartedly and look at him like my god will no longer exist.

He said to be together, just be together.

I've never been with anyone in my life.

Fall in love, hold hands, make a phone call late at night.Kissing, intimacy, sex.

Always give it a try.

Anyway, it will be difficult to be tempted in the future anyway, why not try this person.After trying it, whether it feels bad or good, it is an experience, and it is better than nothing.Zheng Ao is right. There are so many new things in this world. It would be a pity not to try them. I also want to know how cool his so-called coolness is. Is it enough to make him become another person? He left our foolish teenage years behind.

As I said, the old Xu Lang is dead.

It was Xu Lang in the past who thought he was dirty, but I don't think so now, things that everyone can use, why don't I try it too.After trying it, you will probably find that it is not a big deal, just like the plum forest that I thought was a fairyland when I was a child, but looking at it now, it is just a forest.

As Zheng Yehu said, everyone should be forgiven once.

As long as he is dead, the dead are the greatest.

He asked for a chance to be forgiven for Zheng Ao, it's not like I didn't give it.

It's a pity that his son doesn't cherish it.