soul probation

【35】

The sentence "Back to the origin" hovered over Wang Jue's head like a curse.

He was really frightened and stupid this time, and he didn't dare to move.

"You... perverted..."

"abnormal……"

He wanted to do his best to hide back, but his body didn't listen to him. He even lost control over his pupils, so he could only stare at the needles in the flannel box.His cheeks were held by him, and his already broken mind started a stress reaction after seeing the needle, and tears fell down in big drops, flowing into two lines one after another on his pale face.

"I've always been a pervert," Li Wei smiled upon hearing this, "Don't you know that?"

Obviously, the two have conceptual differences in psychology and biology.

Just like Wang Jue no longer knew whether the tears were physical or psychological.

"I..." He gasped out of breath, trembling all over his body, shaking like chaff.

"Are you afraid?" Li Wei asked.

"I'm... afraid." Wang Jue's psychological defense line had been breached, and he had no scruples, "I'm afraid..."

He absolutely couldn't go back to the execution ground where he would be cut to pieces every time he woke up.

"Are you afraid of needles?"

After finally hearing some leeway from his words, for fear of irritating him, he kept nodding his head quickly, and replied with a strong nasal voice, "Mmm...mm..."

No, I am afraid of you.

He wanted Li Wei to take a step forward, at least not to make himself look too humble.

Unexpectedly, he had surpassed himself and developed in a direction that his life could not bear.

He randomly grabbed Li Wei's hand that was placed on his face, and rubbed his face against his palm like a cat, uttering intermittent and illogical words, almost crying, "I don't want to ...I don't want to...uh...please..."

"You... you can ask me to do anything... don't... get an injection..."

Only after experiencing that kind of suffering, can I realize how ridiculous the mentality of seeing death as home for the first time is.

How tough the gray whale was, when I was in a vegetative state, I wanted to kneel down and beg him.

"I will try hard...I will try hard..." He twitched so badly that he was about to faint in the next second, "I, be obedient...I will listen to you..."

Li Wei stared at him quietly.

He was frightened by the sight, racked his brains to flatter and yelled weakly, "Doctor..."

"Okay." Li Wei couldn't bear it now, and gently stroked his head, "Then you won't be afraid of needles, okay?"

Wang Jue grabbed his hand and sobbed, nodding his head quickly, like a rattle drum.

"Take the medicine, calm down." Li Wei handed over a few small pills, "Your mood fluctuates too much."

Wang Jue dodged instinctively, hesitating whether to pick it up.

"Then you choose one?" Li Wei glanced at the needle.

When Wang Jue choked, he almost snatched the medicine and swallowed it without water.

Seeing his body gradually weakening and his eyes starting to doze off, Li Wei slowly hugged him in his arms and exhaled.

"So nice."

--

When Lao Zhang woke up, there was a security guard lying on the ground.He took a closer look and found that he was dressed in the same gray as him—a colleague who complained to him not long ago that his child was gnawing at the old man.

Someone stopped in front of the mailroom.

"Ah-ah-"

Facing the frozen corpse, Lao Zhang screamed hoarsely.

"Are you okay?" Li Wei stopped and knocked on the glass, "I heard that there are my things here, black box."

"...Are you... Master Gourd?" Old Zhang responded, "You are so young... No, this, this, this is someone who died..."

He stopped mid-sentence.

He saw Li Wei's indifferent and dejected face, as if he was born without joy or sorrow.

Feeling his gaffe, Li Wei smiled subconsciously, and immediately realized something was wrong, so he hurriedly put on a slightly surprised and regretful expression.

"He may have offended someone." Li Wei kindly helped to speculate, "I will be taken away later, don't worry."

In the distance, Xi Mian walked out of the building holding an urn.

--

The gray whale has not entered the headquarters building for a long time.In other words, he has not appeared in front of others for many years.

He went upstairs layer by layer, scanning the workstations of each killer.Stopping suddenly at a flight and a half of the stairs, a door opened from a white wall into a laboratory.

There are bottles and cans listed here, and every labeled result is a project worth tens of millions.This is the exclusive laboratory of GW's genius pharmacist Yanchen.

He sat down in his usual chair.

"I'm not here to mourn you, you cannot rest in peace."

"You fell in love with him," Gray Whale stroked the badge with his name on it, "this is the sin of intemperance."

"You commit suicide, committing a crime of tyranny against yourself."

The transformed tree is eaten by birds.

"Homosexuality is an insult to nature."

It is time to lie on your back in the desert of fire and rain.

"Children who have not been raised from an early age have low desire to survive." Gray Whale let go of the badge, "You should go to the seventh level of hell, kid."

He shook his head, opened his drawer, and found a suicide note.

When I opened it, it was in the format of an academic paper.

"Research on Suicidal Behavior"

Abstract: The youth suicide rate remains high and tends to be younger. ...This article will analyze the reasons of suicide and the psychological characteristics of suicide.

Key words: youth suicide rate; rising trend; seeing words is like seeing

……

I had persistent suicidal ideation as a teenager and attempted suicide in high school.In addition to my being the kind of child with a biologically depressive temperament, it is also closely related to my family and school encounters.In a highly stressful society, the parents passed down the alienated mental state, so that as a child, I internalized the strict and demanding requirements, and carried out the "high moral standard" superego, which made me extremely world-weary.

While in school, the climate of society still affects every child through the adults.Pure intellectual education is an overwhelming educational activity, while moral education may be reduced to empty moral indoctrination with slogans—expressed in the mechanization and proceduralization of "learning and examination" in behavior.As a result, adolescents who are in a critical period of psychological development have obvious emotional characteristics of indifference, withdrawn, and lack of empathy, and their personality development is seriously impaired.

……

In fact, a suicide is like a piece of rubber, no matter how much unilateral pressure is, it is not enough to commit suicide.What leads to suicide is actually the turmoil in the heart, and the rubber that is constantly pressed will break if you twist it lightly.When I committed suicide for the first time, I was in a half-fantasy, half-real mentality, and even had a strange idea of ​​​​making blood glow, which is very funny to think about.When I was a teenager, I probably looked at death like playing a video game, with the generosity and heroism of forcing a restart if I couldn’t pass the level.

In fact, I've been thinking that way for years.My childhood was over when I became aware of death.

It turns out that I have been gritting my teeth and walking for a long, long time.

……

Conclusion: Since the target audience of this article should only be able to understand academic papers, I try to bid farewell to you from a de-lyricized academic perspective.Among the four conclusions of suicide reasons mentioned above, one is self-inflicted suicide, the other is suicide for love, the third is suicide in order to keep time in one’s body and the most perfect self, and the fourth is suicide out of revenge .

You might think I'm number four, but I'm not.

I don't belong to any of the above branch ranges.

Over the years, I have made thousands of medicines, and at the end of the day, I made myself a medicine.

I hope you wake up from this, forget about me, and get well.

Forget it, since I can never escape your eyes in this life, it is only fair that you remember me.

——Then I hope that while you are thinking about me, you will live a long life and have both children and children.

references:

[1] International Federation for Suicide Prevention, Central Administrative Office: LeBaradé, 32330 Gondrin, France, iasp.info.

[2]...

[3]...