The Handmade Blogger's Guide to Salvation

There is a saying that goes like this.

The smell of poop is caused by the wafting out of poop molecules, so when you smell the smell, it is equivalent to... eating poop.

Well, this example seems to be a bit disgusting. After giving the example, even Edogawa Ranpo himself couldn't help but pause for a while with the hand holding the snack.

Not to mention Akutagawa Ryunosuke himself.

At this moment, he especially missed the air conditioner owned by Hiroshin Shema, and even couldn't help but casually said it to Edogawa Ranpo.

"Oh, air conditioner? What air conditioner?" Edogawa Ranpo seemed to be quite interested in the air conditioner that Akutagawa Ryunosuke said, "Is that Mr. Hiroshin's invention again?"

Ryunosuke Akutagawa shook his head slightly, "It's still the same batch of air conditioners that Mr. Nakahara Nakaya ordered before, but Mr. Hiroshin sent us an upgrade package half a month ago, which added a professional drain function and cold drink making function."

Edogawa Ranpo was surprised, "I bought an air conditioner and regularly maintained and upgraded it... I have only seen this operation in mobile games."

"...It's like this. After the maintenance and upgrade are completed, the server is opened... I mean, after the air conditioner was turned on, the vents dropped 200 yuan, which is said to be compensation during the maintenance period."

They actually paid back money! ! !

Wait, there is also the fact that the air conditioner can be professionally connected to the water just now, did I forget to complain? !

Is it too late to complain now?

Isn't the most important thing to do now is to apply to the president for the air conditioner in Hiroshin Shema's room?

Edogawa Ranpo's eyes were blank for 20 seconds. He made an exception and used his brain dedicated to thinking about the case, and instantly conceived 20 kinds of rhetoric, which were specially used to persuade Fukuzawa Yukichi to buy him an air conditioner.

And Akutagawa Ryunosuke has already sat upright, ready for the next case... What, you ask how to deal with the talking daddy at the end of the last chapter?

Ryunosuke Akutagawa would never dig out excrement, the dignity of Hong Kong gangsters would not allow him to do so, and Ranpo Edogawa would never dig out excrement. How could a great detective go to a cesspit to play with poop? !

So when the two of them combined, they blocked the sewer toilets of the residents of the whole town.

That's right, the toilets are blocked by pouring cement from door to door, and the toilets in the whole town are blocked. The only place that is not blocked... is the viscera theme amusement park opened by the head of the Savage Park. Everyone can actively buy tickets to go to the viscera amusement park... ...go to the toilet~

Don't ask, the question is that Edogawa Ranpo must have reached some dirty and mysterious consensus with the director of the wild man.

Besides, what kind of toilet does the small animal use? It can't be solved on the spot, but it can also provide nourishment for the flowers and plants.

Without further ado, the second person who came to the police station to report the crime came. This was a woodpecker with a strange painting style. He had a very prominent status and was the director of a hospital.

"Well... two gentlemen, you may not believe it, our hospital is haunted." Doctor Woodpecker's expression was solemn, as if he had said something extraordinary.

Of course, this is really a big deal.

Akutagawa Ryunosuke and Edogawa Ranpo looked at each other, then retreated tactically at the same time.

"The haunting you are talking about... What is the specific situation?" Edogawa Ranpo asked. He has assisted in handling cases at the police station for many years, which made him look good.

The woodpecker cleared his throat, "That's right, our hospital purchased a corpse specimen, soaked in formalin, it was dead."

The woodpecker doctor made a point of emphasizing that the corpse was "dead." Then he continued.

"Then this corpse actually spoke this morning. Do you think it's miraculous or scary?" The woodpecker doctor looked scared.

Then he found that the two people in front of him, who should have been trembling with fright in his imagination, looked very relaxed.

"Great, really great..." Edogawa Ranpo and Akutagawa Ryunosuke looked at each other, then turned to ask Dr. Woodpecker a question.

"So, did this corpse in your family eat the meat buns from the nearby bun shop this morning?"

The woodpecker doctor was stunned for 20 seconds, and then flew into a rage, he slapped the table with his wings, "I repeat, I am not joking, although it is very unbelievable, but the corpse really talked just now gone."

Akutagawa Ryunosuke supported his forehead, "We believe in you, after all, we have seen talking stuffed buns this morning, and..."

Talking poo.

cough cough.

This time it was Dr. Woodpecker's turn to be dumbfounded.

"Then please repeat what the corpse said. These words are clues for our judgment." Edogawa Luanbu pretended to pick up the pen, looking a little lazy.

Although it is very likely that the corpse will say something about the murderer, Edogawa Ranpo is not interested.

Only corpses that can't speak are interesting. Edogawa Ranpo believes that with his own ability, he can use clues to make corpses speak... instead of really speaking with rotten vocal cords.

It's not fun anymore, you don't play like this.

"This corpse in our hospital always talks nonsense." Doctor Woodpecker recalled honestly. He thought for a while, and then began to repeat what the corpse said from memory.

"Miscellaneous cultivators! Let me go out quickly! You lowly creatures dare to imprison me? If it weren't for the advice of Dr. W, this king... open the cage quickly! Otherwise, within three days, you will be killed, and your spirit base will be given to you!" You've been ground to ashes..."

After the woodpecker finished speaking, he recovered from his hideous and distorted face in an instant, and said in a flat tone, "My imitation is over, anyway...that's how it is."

The imitation is quite good. This woodpecker may have parrot blood on his body.

But this corpse looks... very irritable.

"The vocal organ is the vocal cords in the throat." Ranpo Edogawa began to come up with an idea, "Why don't you try to make this corpse into a skeleton?"

After all, in the first case, the rabbits and hedgehogs who had turned into minced meat could still talk, but the bones seemed unable to speak.

"This..." The woodpecker doctor was a little moved. This method is really good. It can not only solve the problem of the corpse talking, but also allow the corpse to be used as waste. You must know that it cost him a lot of money to buy it.

Besides, if you put a skeleton somewhere, it won't be able to speak. It's impossible to speak dumb anymore, right?

"What you said makes sense, but what should I do with the meat of this specimen?"

Edogawa Ranpo waved his hand nonchalantly, "The bun shop downstairs... Ryunosuke Akutagawa, please take him there."

Akutagawa Ryunosuke: "..."

Why is it a steamed bun shop again, and it is a steamed stuffed bun shop again!Akutagawa Ryunosuke decided that after returning to the real world, he would never eat meat buns in his life.

but……

Akutagawa Ryunosuke pulled Edogawa Ranpo around, and asked eagerly, "Did you forget about the toilet?"

What if, after eating this talking corpse, the townspeople pull out talking poo?This time, they sealed all the toilets in the town!

So, isn't that—

Thinking of this scene, Akutagawa Ryunosuke felt that he was not well.

"Don't worry, Akutagawa Ryunosuke, don't worry about it so much." Edogawa Ranpo still said in a calm tone, "It's okay for small animals to eat weird things, besides, this corpse looks It is stronger than that rabbit and hedgehog, maybe it can fight fire with fire."

In newspapers and news, there are often similar methods of using natural enemies to solve the flood of locusts or rats.

For example, ducks are used to solve the flood of locusts, or spiders are used to solve pests.

So this corpse mince making the sound of Gilgamesh might be the natural enemy of rabbit and hedgehog mince!

Akutagawa Ryunosuke was convinced, he felt that Edogawa Ranpo's words... made sense!

"Forget about Akutagawa Ryunosuke, the worst result is that we all go to the viscera paradise to have poop together." Edogawa ranpo patted Akutagawa Ryunosuke, "They will never pull out a slime, or Something like the Venetian Lake Monster, right?"

The savage curator of the Viscera Paradise probably didn't give enough money... Otherwise, he wouldn't be cheated by Edogawa Ranpo.

Next, the skeptical Akutagawa Ryunosuke took Doctor Woodpecker to find the steamed stuffed bun shop.

Edogawa Ranpo, who had solved the problem, sat leisurely in the office, as if waiting for something quietly, did he look up and glance out the window.

Until... Poe walked in through the window.

He was forced to be a roommate with Matsukaze Mikuni Hero for a month, and he really looks more and more like his roommate, with long and messy hair flying around like a horse's mane, and the little raccoon in his arms is also staring at Edogawa. , opened his mouth and let out a loud horse cry.

"Shh, be quiet."

At this moment, Edogawa Ranpo is receiving the next town villager who comes to the police station.

"I'm a farmer, you can call me a cat lady." Obviously, this farmer is a cat head and an aunt, so he is more difficult to deal with.

"I used to raise cattle, but there will always be wild matadors growing out of the grass, and finally snatching all the calves... What do you think should be done?"

Aunt Mao asked Edogawa Ranpo, she got a hint from Miracle Papa today, and she thought it would be okay to ask Edogawa Ranpo.

Sure enough, Edogawa Ranpo gave him the answer without even thinking about it, "Why don't you stop raising cows, you should raise chickens and ducks instead." Edogawa Ranpo gave Aunt Mao a flat look, Obviously gave a very nonsense answer.

"Wild bullfighters, don't catch chickens."

Standing on the windowsill, Edgar Allan Poe was stunned. After thinking about it for a long time, he couldn't figure out what the relationship between the matador and the chicken was. In the end, he could only give Edogawa Ranpo a look of admiration.

As expected of a boss, this divergent thinking and leaping thinking are great.

But Edogawa Ranpo's expression was very disgusting.

"Stay away from the window, the smell of horse dung is killing me." Edogawa frowned, "How did you get in? Could it be..."

Poe nodded, "That's right, as long as you choose to take a step here... you will enter my script."

Hiroshin Shema told him that as long as he solved the plight of Natsume Takashi and these people, he would be free... It was a good deal.

Besides, if he had known that Edogawa Ranpo was also trapped inside, even if he didn't give conditions, he would have come to save people!

But... Poe looked at the biscuit crumbs under Edogawa Ranbu's feet, and felt that there was something wrong with the word "trapped".

This state is clearly on vacation.

The next moment, a biscuit was handed in front of him, and Poe was taken aback for a moment, then his eyes followed the hand holding the biscuit and fell on Edogawa Ranpo's face.

"It's quite timely...here, I'll reward you for this."

Edgar Allan Poe's eyes covered by bangs suddenly lit up. He took the biscuit a little flattered, thinking that in this situation, he should say something to express his emotions... But this is for people with social phobia too difficult.

thank?Isn't it too embarrassing.

Confess directly?No, this article completely implements no CP.

Then let's reciprocate.

Poe cleared his throat.

"thanks……"

"Also, the smell of rabbit droppings and hedgehog droppings on your body is also very strong."