throbbing for you

Although the actual displayed Weibo content has not changed, she read it once at eleven o'clock, and the number of all Weibo posts at that time was 205.It's just 206:[-], and the number of Weibo posts is [-].

At such a coincidental time, Fu Sitian posted another Weibo that only he could see.

Could it be about her?

Will it be a birthday wish for her?

Shi Yi stared at the line, his throat moved, and he let out a helpless sigh of relief.At least, it can be.

A heart, ups and downs, capricious.Shi Yi laughed at himself, more and more times he was deceiving himself and being sentimental like this.It's not like her at all.Is it like this when you like someone? Reason often doesn't work, and emotions are completely out of control, always ups and downs with the other person's reaction.

It's a little uncomfortable.But I couldn't give birth to rejection, and even slowly began to get used to it.

She stroked the starry sky instrument in her hand, her eyes gradually softened.Maybe Si Tian didn't really care about himself at all.

She is not good at such things as showing favors, and she has never done things like being rejected repeatedly and leaning forward to show favors with a shy face.It's not that I don't know how to do it.It's just that I'm too afraid of becoming a ridiculous and entangled person in Fu Sitian's eyes.

Shi Yi turned on the screen again and took a look at Fu Sitian's Weibo, making a decision in his heart.

Try again in person.As long as Fu Sitian gives her a little hint of affirmation, she will throw away all her self-esteem and reserve, confess to her, and entangle with her to the end.

She locked the screen, put the astrolabe back into the distance, went back to her room with her arms around the rabbit, tried to fall asleep, and waited for the dawn.

After dawn, it is Friday, when there is no class in the morning of the fortnight.After a restless morning, she finally waited until the weekly physical education class in the afternoon.

This class is the annual standing long jump and 800-meter physical test.

The physical education teacher was marking the long jump one by one according to the student number. Fu Sitian was dragged by her volleyball partner Zhang Qingyu to stand in the front row waiting, and Shi Yi stood calmly at the right rear not far from her.

While waiting, Jian Lu and Shi Yi casually joked: "It's so fast, a year has passed like this. Hahaha, I still remember how you looked like you were going to rest after running last year. How is it? Are you okay today? I Should I be mentally prepared in advance?"

Shi Yi used his peripheral vision to locate Fu Sitian, wondering if Fu Sitian could hear him.She endured the unnaturalness, did the whole trick, and replied in an uncertain tone: "It should be fine."

Jian Luhe was surprised, and then said nervously:

"What's the matter? Are you uncomfortable?" Normally, Shi Yi should have dismissed his jokes and retorted.

Her voice was not low, and the students who had a good relationship with her turned their heads and looked concerned, but Fu Sitian didn't seem to hear her at all, and stared at the students in the long jump in the field motionlessly, without any fluctuation at all.

Shi Yi was disappointed, narrowed his eyes and said calmly: "It's okay, I just have a cold."

Soon, all the long jump tests were completed. After a 15-minute break, the physical education teacher announced the transfer to the 800-meter test.

Like last year, the 800-meter test was divided into four groups of nine people each.Fu Sitian and his partner stood next to the referee's stand where things were placed, not intending that the first group would be on the stage.

Shi Yi knelt down to tie his shoelaces, calming down the inexplicable tension in his heart.After tying up her shoelaces, she stood up and walked towards the start of the runway with Jian Luhe with a solemn expression.

When the nine people were all together, the physical education teacher blew a whistle, and everyone raised their legs in unison and rushed out of the starting point.

Jian Luhe ran second, and Shi Yi followed behind her.She didn't have a fever this time, but she didn't know if it was because she hadn't slept well for a long time, and she didn't feel much easier when running than last year.Her eyes fell on Jian Luhe's back in front of her, and her mind was completely wrapped around Fu Sitian.

Turning the corner, she looked towards the referee's platform as if naturally, and Fu Sitian was still standing there.It was too far away, she couldn't see Fu Sitian's expression clearly, she could only see her beautiful little face facing her direction.

The breathing was already short, and the heart suddenly felt like beating a drum.The running route was a little crooked, she retracted her gaze, stabilized her mind, and repeated the rehearsal in her heart, how she would naturally pretend to be dizzy, uncomfortable and unable to stand for a while.

It's too contrived.She was ashamed to think about it.

But when she ran into the curve on the second lap, she still moved her body casually, adjusted her expression, and was about to enter a weak state.

Turning the corner, she turned her head and looked again at the position where Fu Sitian was standing just now.

Fu Sitian turned his back to the direction she was running, and left towards the indoor track on the right.

His breathing stopped suddenly, like a bucket of cold water poured down his head, Shi Yi's heart was mostly cold - Si Tian didn't care how she ran.

Her chest was so stuffy and painful, all the strength in her body was taken away, she couldn't sprint at all, staggered, reluctantly, and fell to the third place in the group, barely crossing the line on the passing time.

She was really uncomfortable, and the feeling of wanting to vomit came to her throat again.But being weak can no longer get the love of the person she wants, so she doesn't want to show it at all.She refused the kindness of other students, clenched her molars, and with a pale face, she struggled to move to the railing of the stand next to the finish line.She held the railing tightly with her right hand, supported her body, stood upright, breathing heavily, and her face was very ugly.

Jian Luhe stood next to her, gasping for breath, worried: "Are... are you okay?"

Shi Yi closed his eyes, and replied lightly: "It's okay."

Jian Luhe had never heard such a weak tone from her, and he became more and more worried.The two stayed by the railing for a few minutes, and Jian Luhe recovered a little, and suggested to Shi Yi: "Are you still feeling uncomfortable? Can you go? Otherwise, let's go inside, and don't blow the wind here."

As soon as the words were finished, Shi Yi saw Fu Sitian coming out of the indoor track from the corner of his eye.She walked towards Zhang Qingyu, probably ready to play in the next group.

At the end of November, the wind in Shencheng was not strong during the day, but Fu Sitian's thin figure made Shi Yi feel that a gust of wind could blow him down.

She frowned, unable to resist her own heart, she still said: "It's okay, I'll rest here for a while."

She turned around, facing the playground, her eyes were empty.

Two minutes later, the physical education teacher blew the whistle again, and Fu Sitian's figure passed her eyes as she expected, and moved towards the front of the track.

Shi Yi's eyes locked on her uncontrollably.

From this direction, she could only see the outline of Fu Sitian's silhouette.Fu Sitian ran past her eyes, leaving only his back facing her, with his ponytail swaying, and his fair and slender neck. Every time he ran and every sway of the ponytail was like the wings of a butterfly fluttering in her heart.

Suddenly, Fu Sitian shook and slowed down.

Shi Yi's heart skipped a beat, and he raised his foot and was about to run towards her, but Fu Sitian staggered, and fell down in her sight.

Shi Yi's legs gave way and he almost fell.She balanced her body and ran towards Fu Sitian quickly.

Fu Sitian had already been helped up by a classmate who was closer.

She was sitting on the runway, her face was as white as paper, and the tip of her straight nose was covered with cold sweat, as if she was trying to stand up.

Before Shi Yi had time to think about it, he knelt down on one leg, supported her thin shoulder with one hand, and grabbed her right hand that was still bleeding but was still propped on the ground with the other, and said in a low voice, "Don't move."

Fu Sitian stared at her blankly, his dark eyes were dark, his lips trembled, and he almost murmured: "Shi Yi..."

As if with grievances, but also as if with tenderness.Shi Yi's heart trembled when he heard it.She opened her mouth and was about to answer when Jian Luhe rushed over: "Is Si Tian okay?"

Fu Sitian's eyes regained clarity, and he shook his head weakly.

It was clear that Shi Yi was right in front of her eyes, but she still withdrew her hand from Shi Yi's hand, and turned her head to ask the female classmate next to her, "Can I trouble you to lend me a little help?"

The gesture of resistance is so obvious, the trace of nostalgia that I just noticed seems to be my own illusion.Shi Yi clenched his empty palms tightly, his eyes sank.

Fu Sitian was supported by his female classmate and Jian Luhe to stand up, Shi Yi looked at her weak but indifferent face, and suddenly felt that his attentive posture was too ridiculous.

She straightened her kneeling leg, and followed suit.She drooped her eyelashes, her eyes fell on Fu Sitian's bloodshot palms, and she still felt distressed, "My car is right at the door, and there is alcohol and Band-Aid in the glove box, let me bring you here?"

"Thank you, don't bother." The girl's voice was very soft and polite, "I'll just go to the bathroom and flush with water."

"Let me help you there." Seeing that the situation was wrong, Jian Luhe gave Shi Yi a wink and volunteered.

But Shi Yi didn't have the energy to distinguish Jian Luhe's meaning at all.

She didn't speak any more, just watched Fu Sitian smile at Jian Luhe, didn't refuse Jian Luhe, and walked away with Jian Luhe's support.Little by little, he completely disappeared into his own world.

Throat choked, disheartened.

Shi Yi walked to the highest and corner stand with heavy steps, and sat alone until dark.The street lights outside the fence were turned on, and the familiar warm light blurred in, illuminating the sparse running figures on the playground track.

How I wish I could still find the girl's face, meet those almond eyes that shyly peeked at me when I ran past.

Never again.

Shi Yi closed his eyes, his face itchy.She tasted her own tears.

No one will wait for you in place.Don't bother her anymore.She convinced herself thoroughly.

When the time enters December, it seems that it is no longer a day, and the footsteps of the New Year are inadvertently approaching.

Jian Luhe tentatively invited Shi Yi: "Let's go to the school's outdoor New Year's Eve party together on New Year's Eve. After the party, we just go back to the dormitory together to celebrate Si Tian's birthday?" She still wants to help ease the relationship between the two of them occasionally , but Shi Yi has obviously lost interest.

Sure enough, Shi Yi refused.

Although Jian Luhe regretted it, he couldn't figure out the specific entanglement between the two of them, so he didn't dare to persuade him any more.

On the night of December 12st, Fu Sitian dragged his exhausted body to the school New Year's Eve party with Chen Xizhu, Yin Fanlu, and Jian Luhe.

Amidst the deafening music, laughter, and bustle, Fu Sitian smiled gregariously.

Thousands of people shouted the countdown, and the first moment the New Year's bell rang, everyone shouted "Happy New Year!", but Chen Xizhu, Yin Fanlu and Jian Luhe shouted to her in her ear: "Si Tian, ​​birthday! hapiness!"

They were afraid that she wouldn't hear them, so they yelled again and again, with sincere and lovely smiles, and the shouts echoed in the gradually quiet square, and the host on the stage also echoed in surprise: "I seem to hear a classmate just happened to Birthday?"

Jian Luhe raised Fu Sitian's hand and cheered: "Here, the birthday star is here."

All eyes are focused.

Fu Sitian blushed.

The host laughed, didn't say anything, just turned the microphone to the audience, and the students' happy birthday wishes sounded from the audience: "Happy birthday!"

The sound of blessing resounded through the sky, Fu Sitian bit his lip, and water vapor gradually appeared in his eyes.She had never been celebrated with such hilarity, let alone so much kindness from strangers.

She thought she would be content, would be extremely happy.

But looking at the thousand smiling faces of blessings, she smiled and smiled, but there was a place in her heart that was getting more and more empty, more and more painful, very painful, very painful.

There was no Shi Yi in the blessings and smiling faces.

At the age of 19, the life started by Shi Yi's gentle "Happy Birthday" came to an end.

20 years old, 21 years old... Every year since then, there will be no stars, no Shi Yi.

Where is Shi Yi?Who are you with again?

That place, like a sore that rots and never really heals.Accidentally poke it, it is heart-wrenching.

On the night of New Year's Day, when Jian Luhe went home, Yin Fanlu was called to play werewolf by Lei Yilin and the others in their dormitory, and Fu Sitian was the only one left in the dormitory.

At 1:1, January [-]st was declared over. Shi Yi sat on the edge of the bed, put his forehead on his forehead and gave a wry smile, and stuffed the gift that he had been looking at all day and would never give away into the innermost drawer of the bedside.

She lay down and tried to fall asleep. At [-]:[-], she resignedly grabbed her mobile phone and did the last thing before going to bed every night—watching the dynamics of Fu Sitian's trumpet.

Poke into the homepage familiarly, and slide to all Weibo pages.The number of Weibo entries shows that one more has been added.As usual, she dragged down to see if there was any news of likes. Suddenly, her fingertips froze, and her whole body held her breath.

At 1:1 on January 23st, Fu Sitian posted a Weibo, which is visible.

she says:

lh said that if a wish is spoken, it will not come true.

101, then I can make a wish, can I not like you in the future?

In an instant, Shi Yi's heart seemed to be hit by something, it hurt and went soft.It was like thunder hitting her ears, and like fireworks blooming in her heart.The uncontrollable distress, joy, and love overwhelmed all rationality.

She rolled up and got out of bed, even forgot to put on her slippers, eagerly put on a pair of pants, put on a long down jacket, went to the living room, grabbed the car keys and went out.

I ran into no one all the way down to the garage.When I got into the car, stepped on the accelerator, and drove for a while, I gradually felt something wrong with my feet.She lowered her head and saw that she was barefoot, only then did she realize what a stupid thing she had done.

I don't want to look back.Don't want to waste any more moment.

He couldn't bear Fu Sitian to suffer any more.

It was cold and cold, and in the dead of night, she drove to the gate of the campus, stopped the car, slammed the door, barefoot, with loose hair, and ran wildly on the campus at midnight like a madman.

Panting, she ran into the dormitory building, into the elevator, and ran to the door of the dormitory at 1510, facing the astonished eyes of the dormitory auntie.

The dormitory door was actually ajar.

Shi Yi's heart was beating wildly, and there was an unconcealable tension on his usually calm and indifferent face.

She pushed the door open with trembling hands, the iron door creaked heavily, and in the clear light of the room, there was the rustling sound of bed curtains being turned, and then, Fu Sitian's little face that she had been thinking about day and night poked out.

As if he never expected it to be Shi Yi, Fu Sitian was obviously stunned.

Shi Yi's heart suddenly settled down, and a smile appeared on the corner of his lips unconsciously.Under the girl's ignorant gaze, she stepped into the dormitory that had carried their most painful memories.

The girl murmured: "Fan Lu and Lu He are not in the dormitory."

Shi Yi pushed the door behind him, and said softly, "I'm looking for you."

She stared at her, approaching step by step.Under her implicitly scorching gaze, Fu Sitian's breathing was completely disordered, and his long-dead heart seemed to revive in his chest in an instant.

She unconsciously gripped the quilt tightly, and asked tremblingly, "Is there... what's the matter?"

Shi Yi walked to her bedside, looked up at her, his eyes were brighter than the stars, softer than the water of the lake.She stretched out her hand to pick up Fu Sitian's left hand that had fallen on the quilt, and took her hand, sticking it to her face, with a soft voice:

"I'm here to make a new year's wish for you."

Her face was so cold, but the kiss she put on her palm was so hot.

"Don't dislike me, always, always, like me, okay?"

Like a passionate kiss on the soul, Fu Sitian's blood boiled.Fu Sitian was dizzy like his brain was congested with blood, and for a moment he couldn't tell whether he was dreaming again or it was real.

The author has something to say: The little rabbit can't hold on any longer, and Shi Yi hugs the glowing red rabbit, feeling contented.

From now on, don't look at the trumpet at night, but look at the one hundred and eight moves of eating rabbits.