throbbing for you

"Si Tian, ​​can you get up?" Jian Luhe's voice seemed to come from far away.

There was a sharp pain in the tailbone and back that spread to all the limbs and bones, and the whole body seemed to be falling apart.For a moment, Fu Sitian even wished that he could lose all consciousness.

Maybe this will make you feel better.

But the consciousness is sober and sober.

After all, time is still going on, and everything is not a nightmare, it is not that if you close your eyes and then open them, they will disappear.

"How about calling 120?" An enthusiastic male voice sounded next to him.

Jian Lu and Liushenwuzhu immediately rummaged through their bags to find their cellphones.

Fu Sitian pulled her throat and made a weak voice: "I'm fine..." She blinked vigorously, blinking away all the moisture in her eyes, and gritted her teeth to support herself to sit up.

Jian Luhe immediately reached out to support her back, and helped her sit up slowly.

"Oh my God, your elbow..." Jian Luhe saw clearly that Fu Sitian's right arm was covered with scratches, especially the elbow with a big scratch, blood and flesh oozing red, mixed with the dirt of rainwater , looks very hideous. "Let's go to the hospital, do you still have any pain? What about your head, did you hit your head?"

She looked anxiously.

Fu Sitian said in a low voice, "It's okay." She raised her arms and folded her arms to cover her wet chest.Jian Luhe quickly reacted, leaned forward to block Fu Sitian, and said loudly: "It's okay, it's okay, let's go."

The people who had stopped dispersed tactfully. Xia Ke and Jian Luhe nodded their heads and turned to leave.

Fu Sitian watched his back, and couldn't help imagining Shi Yi standing shoulder to shoulder with him.She has seen many times that men are talented and women are beautiful, and they are made in heaven.From now on, Shi Yi will hold his hand, hug him, and kiss him...

belongs to him...

As if the last breath of air in his chest had been taken away, Fu Sitian couldn't breathe, his chest trembled rapidly, his lips were horribly pale.

"Si Tian, ​​Si Tian!" Jian Luhe was afraid: "No, we'd better go to the hospital. Can we go? Otherwise, I'll call and ask Shi Yi. If she's at school, I'll ask her to drive over to take you to the hospital."

She said she was about to make a call.

Fu Sitian reached out his hand to stop her movement, suppressed his sobs, and refused in an unsteady voice: "No need, don't... trouble her."

Tears flooded her eyes again, and she tried hard to open her eyes wide, not daring to blink.

Jian Luhe opened his mouth and wanted to say something, but seeing her weak but firm appearance, he sighed and compromised.

Fu Sitian stood up, Jian Luhe wanted to help her, she forced a smile, shook her head and said: "It's okay."

Just walking a little slowly, she walked back to the dormitory gracefully like a normal person.

Yin Fanlu was playing a game in the dormitory, and when he saw Fu Sitian entering the door with a pale face and a messy body, he lost his mind and ran to the door to help Fu Sitian: "What's wrong? How did it happen?"

Before Fu Sitian could speak, Jian Luhe answered for her first, "It rained after our rehearsal, and Si Tian slipped and fell directly from the steps of the gymnasium."

"How could you be so careless. Where did you fall?" Yin Fanlu dragged the chair to the aisle for Fu Sitian to sit down.

Fu Sitian was afraid of soiling her chair cushion, so he just supported the back of the chair with his hands and comforted her: "It's just a little skin injury, it's okay." She turned to Jian Luhe and asked, "Luhe, can you please help me take it out?" The clothes in my closet, let me take a shower."

Of course Jian Luhe did not refuse.

She took her clothes and went into the bathroom to take a shower like a normal person. The moment the faucet was turned on, tears flowed down with the water.She slid slowly against the wall, curling up her knees, sobbing uncontrollably.

The sound of running water covered everything.

But she still didn't dare to cry aloud.

There is not an inch of this world that belongs to her, and there is no inch that allows her to cry weakly.Tears would only make her more annoying.

She was taking a shower when she heard the creaking of the dormitory door and people coming in and out.After washing, the staff in the dormitory really changed.

"Tiantian, are you alright?" Chen Xizhu rushed forward with red eyes, and walked around her nervously to check.

Fu Sitian's eyes darkened slightly, but his heart was still warm, "It's nothing, why are you here?"

"Fan Lu told me. Now she is out of school with Lu He to help you buy fall medicine."

Soon after, Jian Luhe and Yin Fanlu came back with the medicine.Fu Sitian thanked them, but Jian Luhe said hesitantly, "The bottle of medicine written in Japanese was brought by Shi Yi by car."

Fu Sitian looked at her in astonishment.

Jian Luhe explained: "I happened to be on the road with Fanlu, she called, and I told her about your fall, and she said she had medicine at home, so she sent it downstairs in the dormitory."

Fu Sitian's heart sank in the deep sea, even if he floated up, the scriptures still did not see the light of day.She didn't know whether she should be happy or sad.Shi Yi seemed to still be willing to care about her, but she was willing to send her downstairs in the dormitory, but she still refused to come up to see her.

Did she hate her, or... or was she afraid of her?

Why give her a little hope after making her completely desperate.It's a relationship, so don't you mind anymore?

"What does she mean?" Chen Xizhu was instantly annoyed.

Jian Luhe was puzzled, and also a little angry: "What do you mean by that? What's the point of sending medicine with good intentions?"

Fu Sitian quickly went to press Chen Xizhu, "Xizhu, don't say that." She thanked Jian Luhe and Yin Fanlu: "Thank you and Fanlu, I will trouble you to go out at night." Her voice was dry, "Help me too Thank you, Shi Yi."

Jian Luhe said angrily: "Why should I be your microphone, if you have anything to say, you can say it yourself, and if you want to thank you, say it yourself."

Fu Sitian bit his lip and said nothing.Yin Fanlu eased the atmosphere and changed the subject, "Hey, disinfect the broken skin on your hands. I have povidone iodine and alcohol in my medicine cabinet. Which one do you want?"

"Alcohol."

"Alcohol hurts more."

"fine."

Sure enough, from the beginning to the end, Fu Sitian didn't even utter a sound of pain.On the contrary, Chen Xizhu watched with tears in his eyes, and Yin Fanlu laughed at her: "I didn't even realize that you are such an emotional person."

Chen Xizhu was so ashamed that he put away his tears in an instant.

It was getting late, and Fu Sitian was worried that Chen Xizhu would stay back to the dormitory alone until too late. As soon as the ointment was applied, she urged Chen Xizhu to go back quickly.Before Chen Xizhu went back, looking at her pale face, he was still a little worried: "Are you sure you don't want to go to the hospital? Don't worry if you check it out."

"No need, it's really fine." Fu Sitian vowed.

However, I don't know if it was because I got cold from walking all the way with wet clothes.On the second day, Fu Sitian started to have a headache, cough and low-grade fever. The fever lasted intermittently for two days. On the third day, it directly turned into a high fever.

In the evening, there are public elective classes. Shi Yi's classes this semester are in the classroom next door to Fu Sitian, Yin Fanlu and Jian Lu.Before class, when she passed by Jian Lu and their classroom, she involuntarily took a look inside.

Jian Luhe and Yin Fanlu sat together, surrounded by unfamiliar faces.

Shi Yi's eyes dimmed.

When she entered the classroom, she was restless. The class was almost over, and she didn't even pay attention to whether the teacher called the roll.

Fu Sitian asked for leave from class all day today, did he also ask for leave tonight?She didn't want to know, but she just knew.

Did she fall so badly?

A message came in from the phone, and it was the group secretary of another class who asked her: "Shi Yi, do you have a channel for chartered cars with a discount? Can you help me introduce it? Our class is planning to go on a trip in a while."

have.She looked for the contact information in the phone address book, but she couldn't find it no matter how hard she looked.It may have been deleted last year.

There is a business card, and the business card is in a card case, and the card case is in a drawer in the 1510 dormitory.

Suddenly, she became restless.

I want to go back to the 1510 dormitory to get the card pack.In fact, there are quite a lot of important cards in the card bag, and sometimes it is quite inconvenient to use.

It's okay to go back and get it.She convinced herself.

The teacher saw that it was going to rain outside, so he announced the end of get out of class early.

Shi Yi followed the crowd to the outside of the classroom, down the stairs, to... the dormitory of the sophomore School of Business Administration.The pace became more and more urgent, and the mind became more and more chaotic.

She hated feeling out of control like this.

The hot and anxious air before the heavy rain filled her nostrils.Along the way, she thought of stopping countless times, but her footsteps brought her back to the 1510 dormitory step by step.

The door of the dormitory at 1510 was not locked, and Fu Sitian... was indeed in the dormitory.

I just take the card pack.Shi Yi convinced himself over and over again in his heart.it's necessary.I take it and leave.This is normal.

She pushed open the door.The dormitory was dark, and the electric fan was turning round and round on the roof. Except for the noise of turning, the room was dead silent.

Shi Yi's throat tightened, and his eyes fell on the upper bunk in front of the French window on the balcony.

The bed curtain was partially opened, fluttering slightly with the fan.She could only see a small section of shiny legs.

Under the moonlight, the knees were faintly black and blue.

Shi Yi forced himself to retract his eyes, pressed his lower lip tightly, and stepped into the dormitory.She unconsciously breathed lightly, walked to her desk in the middle of the dormitory, and stretched out her hand to pull the drawer.

Don't look at her, don't care about her, just take it and leave.

But Fu Sitian was so quiet, so quiet, she was afraid for no reason.

She tilted her head uncontrollably.

Under the dim light, Fu Sitian's cheeks were so small, it seemed that he had lost weight again.She bent her elbow on her lower abdomen, and a layer of red scab formed on it. Just looking at the size of the scab, one could imagine how painful it must have been when she fell.

Shi Yi's heart seemed to be pulled by something.

"Shi Yi..." A soft call suddenly sounded.

Shi Yi's heart trembled.

Fu Sitian didn't know when he opened his eyes, and his misty eyes were looking at him softly.

Shi Yi didn't know what he was panicking about.Almost instinctively, she turned to run away.

Fu Sitian flipped over desperately.

Just before he grabbed the lock and opened the door of the dormitory, Fu Sitian grabbed her hand.She seemed to have a fever, and her hands were so hot, as if they were going to burn into her heart and burn something.

Fu Sitian's limbs were weak from the fever, and he was out of breath after walking a few steps.She was barefoot, leaning on the wall for strength with one hand, and clutching Shi Yi's wrist with the other.

Clenched tightly, as if holding a dream that will become empty in an instant.

Are you dreaming?

Even in her dreams, she rarely came to see her.

But why even Meng, she refused to look back at her.

"Shi Yi, are you here to see me?" She was so weak that Shi Yi felt sad.

But after the sadness, it was more panic.

She's crazy, what is she doing, why on earth is she coming back tonight.And why, she has to be so soft-hearted and feel so uncomfortable for Fu Sitian's words.

"No." She forced herself to answer calmly, turning her hands to shake off Fu Sitian's.

Fu Sitian's strength was surprisingly great. "Shi Yi, don't go, okay?" She didn't have much strength, she leaned against the wall, and begged her with both hands, crying.

"Shi Yi, don't go."

"Don't like him."

Shi Yi knew that as long as she tried harder, Fu Sitian couldn't hold her back.

Obviously she hates stalkers the most.But against Fu Sitian, she couldn't do anything.

After hesitating for a second, Fu Sitian took a step forward, trying to hug her entire arm along her wrist.

The moment the heat was about to hit, Shi Yi stepped forward in fear, trying to withdraw his hand. With a loud "bang", her forehead hit the door panel.

The sound was too real, and Fu Sitian's red eyes gradually cleared up.

not dreaming...

She panicked, "Shi Yi, are you okay?" She supported her weak legs and wanted to move forward and get closer.

"Don't come here!" Shi Yi stopped in a tense voice.

Fu Sitian stopped on the spot helplessly.She stared at Shi Yi's beautiful and indifferent back, feeling a sense of sadness in her heart.

She loosened Shi Yi's hands weakly, and asked Shi Yi in a very soft voice: "Shi Yi, can I ask you for an answer?"

Shi Yi's loosened hand fell back to his thigh, empty-handed.She ignored the question and grabbed the door lock to go out. Fu Sitian yelled hoarsely: "Shi Yi, why are you so afraid of me? Do you hate me?"

"Shi Yi...give me an answer, please."

So humble, so low profile.Like a knife piercing into Shi Yi's heart.Shi Yi was in so much pain that she parted her lips, but she couldn't say a positive answer, nor could she say a negative answer.

Her mind was too confused to think.How did everything become like this?What exactly went wrong?

"I don't hate you." She tried to state the facts in an objective tone, "I just can't accept you."

"Remember my dad? I only half-spoken that day."

"I'm disgusted that he cheated. But there's something even more disgusting. The person he cheated on was a man." She still feels sick when she recalls that scene.

She couldn't accept that her father never loved her, that her father was gay, that maybe...she herself was too.

What about her mother?

She can't and can't be.

Fu Sitian felt as if he had fallen into an ice cave.

It seemed that only a second had passed, and it seemed that a century had passed. She asked Shi Yi: "So, do you think I'm disgusting too?"

If you look at it more than once, your eyes will be dirty.

No.She never thought about it that way.She didn't know how to describe her feelings.She even disgusted herself, but she never disgusted Fu Sitian.

"No," she said, "but don't like me."

This is good for her and good for Fu Sitian.To make it clear, long-term pain is worse than short-term pain.She hardened her heart, and sent the knife into Fu Sitian's body, and also into her own heart.

Both ends are dripping with blood.

She can be understood as: If you like her, she will disgust her, right?

Fu Sitian staggered and supported the wall, retreating a little bit, leaving a safe distance for Shi Yi.

"I'm sorry." The few short words exhausted all her strength, "I have caused trouble for you."

For the first time, she was ashamed of her sexuality and sorry for her liking.It was as if the soul had been completely pulled out of the body.