throbbing for you

That night, Shi Yi acted as if nothing had happened. After Fu Sitian finished washing his clothes, the two of them reviewed their books for a while, then turned off the lights and went to sleep.

It was very cold, and the bed was cold at night, Fu Sitian would always help her warm the bed before she went to bed, and then moved to his place.Usually, when Fu Sitian fell asleep, if Fu Sitian was still awake, Shi Yi always liked to lie on his side, put his hands on her waist, face her, and sleep with his arms around her.Occasionally, Shi Yi would use hugs and kisses to start a sweet bedtime exercise with her.

But not tonight, she went to bed, said "good night" to Fu Sitian, and then lay on her back, wrapped her arms around herself in the quilt, closed her eyes, and looked extremely sleepy.

Fu Sitian was a little strange, but he didn't think too much about it. After all, Shi Yi's behavior was normal all night.She thought that Shi Yi was just too tired and didn't have this thought.The postgraduate entrance examination has entered the final sprint stage, and there are still a lot of messy things in their college this semester, and the defense is even more wonderfully arranged in the last semester, just three days after the end of the postgraduate entrance examination, so that recently, the tutors have frequently asked for interviews. The group meeting made the already insufficient time even more tense.It's really annoying.She could understand Shi Yi's pressure.

She didn't bother Shi Yi, but stretched out her hand to help her tuck the corner of the quilt carefully, and lay down on her side where her pillow was closest to her.

Her breath, warm and soft, seemed to linger in Shi Yi's ears, as gentle and lovable as her person.

When Shi Yi heard this, his heart was flustered.

She didn't want to believe, nor should she believe that Si Tian would shake their feelings in the slightest. She should know how much Fu Sitian liked her and how firm his feelings for them were, but the moment she should open her mouth to ask, She flinched.

She clearly felt her timidity.It's not in her character to escape, but she did.She found herself afraid.I don't know where the source of the fear came from. Maybe it came from the fact that the news revealed in the text message was too convincing, maybe it came from Fu Sitian's resistance that he never had a deep talk with her about family affairs, or more maybe it came from—they have tried to Enough life is not easy.

She already understood too well what her mother said, "Life is not as simple as you think".It is not impossible for people to change, become weak, and compromise under such a situation and pressure... After all, this is also human nature.

But there is still a voice in her mind telling her: Si Tian is not such a person.The person she loves will not be such a person.She should know how sincere and beautiful she is.

It's too much for her to speculate on Si Tian with such thoughts, and not even give her a chance to justify herself.Shi Yi condemned himself, but he couldn't completely convince himself.

In pain and hesitation, she lost sleep most of the night.

The night gradually receded, and when it was about to dawn, she felt that Fu Sitian was half asleep and half awake, and unconsciously reached out to touch the corner of her quilt, and helped her lift the quilt.

It was an almost instinctive love.

Shi Yi turned around to look at her, breathing heavily.She carefully traced her clean and soft facial features with her eyes, and began to feel guilty and regretful.

She should have confessed, should have believed her, should have talked to her.

She made a decision in her heart.

At noon the next day, when Shi Yi came back from her self-study in the library, Fu Sitian had already prepared two dishes and one soup for her as usual.The two sat opposite each other, eating and chatting casually while eating.

Shi Yi was thinking about how to ask her about text messages when Fu Sitian's cell phone rang.

The caller ID was "Grandma", Fu Sitian said hello to Shi Yi embarrassedly, picked up the phone and went to the balcony to answer the call.

Shi Yi took a sip of the soup, put down the spoon, stared at the bowl, and didn't move for several seconds.

It was like this every time, Fu Sitian would try his best to avoid her to answer all the calls related to his family.In fact, there is nothing wrong with this. From a polite point of view, it should be like this.For a long time, she didn't directly express anything to Fu Sitian about this.However, at this moment, Shi Yi felt strongly uncomfortable.She deeply felt the loneliness and anxiety of being isolated from Fu Sitian's world.

This is an emotion that she has always been able to suppress and resolve rationally.

But at this moment, she couldn't digest it.

She ate two more mouthfuls of food in a tasteless way. Seeing Fu Sitian hung up the phone and turned to come in, she thought, she should tell her this feeling frankly.

But when Fu Sitian sat down at the table again and looked at her tenderly, she moved her throat, but couldn't open her mouth, couldn't let go of her face, and said such words from the heart, which seemed fragile.

It seems that the closer someone is, the harder it is to say something.

After a few seconds of silence, she was concerned nonchalantly: "Is grandma okay?"

Fu Sitian said concisely: "It's okay."

Shi Yi could see that she didn't want to talk too much, if it was normal, she would stop here, but today, she didn't change the topic, and asked the bottom line: "Did she ask you to go back to see her on weekends?"

Fu Sitian gave a soft "hmm", paused, and added: "But I turned it down. In the past two weeks, if she is doing well, I will go back every other week before the postgraduate entrance examination."

Of course Shi Yi knew why.After a moment of silence, she said, "I'm fine here."

Fu Sitian smiled lightly and said, "For me, it does matter."

Shi Yi forced a smile, lowered his eyelids, and asked casually, "What do you usually do when you go back?"

Fu Sitian replied naturally: "Take care of her at home, accompany her, cook and feed her. But she doesn't have much time to talk energetically."

Shi Yi's heart was heavy and uncomfortable.She felt sorry for her hard work, but also felt uncomfortable... She still wanted to test her.But she still tried it, and she asked her: "Then what does she talk to you about when she is energetic?"

Fu Sitian was stunned for a moment, speechless, and his expression was obviously not as natural as before.

Before she could answer, Shi Yi half-jokingly continued to ask: "Will you care about your lifelong affairs and urge you to go on a blind date and find someone?"

Fu Sitian's heart trembled, and his breathing almost stopped.In the blink of an eye, many thoughts flashed through her mind, and finally, what she said was weak: "It's okay, it won't."

She knew how possessive and jealous Shi Yi was towards her, and she didn't want to add to Shi Yi's troubles and distract Shi Yi at this time.Right now, getting Shi Yi to pass the exam is the most important thing, and everything else can be postponed.

She can handle it.As if guilty, and as if to make Shi Yi feel more at ease, she added a superfluous sentence: "Besides, I don't want to, and she can't help it."

Shi Yi's heart turned cold for a moment.

she lied.

She really lied to her.And, swear by it.

Her heart was empty, her mind was confused, and suddenly she didn't know how to face Fu Sitian's face.

If she doesn't want to go, then she can not go, then she went and met, does it mean that she wants to go and is willing to go?

Shi Yi couldn't convince himself anymore.She felt as if a pillar of faith in her heart had collapsed, and she couldn't ask any more questions, nor did she have the courage to ask.

She wasn't sure if, to put it bluntly, that answer was one she wasn't ready to accept.She still looks like she loves her, or doesn't want to part with her?Could it be that if she didn't ask, there might still be a chance to maintain the illusion of calm like now, until... a turning point happened.

And so, unlike herself at all, she was silent again, evading, like a coward.

But there are some things, as they happened, they happened. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't force herself to be unconcerned and unaffected.Especially if she pays attention now, she will notice that Fu Sitian often avoids her to chat on WeChat.

Fu Sitian found that from an unknown date, maybe two days ago, maybe three days ago, in short, from a certain day, Shi Yi became more silent than before.It's not that she doesn't talk to her, and she will answer when you talk to her, but she just doesn't seem to take the initiative to talk to her or share with her.

No matter how cold it is at night, she won't hug her anymore.

She always turned her back to her, leaving her with a thin and indifferent back.Even if she leaned over cheekily and hugged her from behind with trembling hands, she would only pretend to be asleep.Not turning around, not giving her an iota of response.

Fu Sitian was in pain and at a loss.

She didn't know what happened, but she noticed that there was a problem between her and Shi Yi.Even if she was lying on the same bed, even if she hugged Shi Yi so intimately, she still felt that she couldn't feel Shi Yi's warmth anymore.

There seemed to be a deep gully between them. The icy wind poured into the quilt and filled their bodies. It was bitingly cold and painful.

Fu Sitian looked up at the pitch-black ceiling, and couldn't tell whether he had really slept at night or not every day.She is becoming more and more uncertain whether this love, persisting until here, has any meaning to Shi Yi.But no matter what, there is only one week left, so wait a little longer, bear with it, and wait until the exam is over.

She asked herself so.

So they pretended to be calm, and endured and suffered with each other.