After wearing a sick and weak white moonlight, I collapse every day

Fu Younian really didn't come to the hospital for several days.

When he didn't come the first day, Yu Xi thought he would come the next day, but sat by the floor-to-ceiling windows and waited, watching the sky gradually darken, the street lights turned on one after another, and the familiar car didn't turn in at the hospital gate.

He tossed and turned that night and couldn't sleep.

But usually he is always lethargic, and he feels that time passes quickly, as if he was wearing a thick down jacket a few days ago, and it starts to get stuffy in a blink of an eye, and he is still alive.

Sometimes Yu Xi hates her tenacious vitality for no reason.

During this time, he had frequent infusions, and his skin was prone to bruises. The entire back of his hand was covered with bruises and tiny pinholes. You can only switch to the other hand and lose for a few days first.

Sometimes Yu Xi would sit by the bed and count the colorful granules in the medicine box, but it was true that he couldn't take any of them.

He has been waiting until Fu Younian will never come to see him or contact him again. At that time, he will throw away all these things, and then tear off the infusion needle on the back of his hand, and he will leave this pale and cold place , I don't want to take another step until I die.

But Fu Younian still sent him messages from time to time.

Most of the time it was just chatting, and occasionally I would naively ask him to complain.

[Fu Younian]: [picture] [picture]

[Fu Younian]: I can only eat these at night.

Yu Xi looked at those photos and ignored him.

It was a sloppy low-fat meal. At first glance, it was full of broccoli and cherry tomatoes, covering more than half of the lunch box. There was not even a little chicken breast or salad, and the portion didn't seem to be much.

Fu Younian was not discouraged when he didn't get a reply, so he continued to send him.

[Fu Younian]: I was scolded by the director.

[Fu Younian]: [Salted fish collapsed.jpg]

Yu Xi just picked up the water glass and sipped a little warm water, when he saw the message from Fu Younian, he couldn't hold back for a while, almost choked on laughter.

[. ]: Don't steal my emoji.

[Fu Younian]: [Depressed.jpg]

Yu Xi smiled, clicked on the transfer, and sent him a red envelope of 1000 yuan.

[. ]: You can go and buy something to eat yourself.

Fu Younian has received your red envelope.

[Fu Younian]: [kiss.jpg]

Yu Xi flipped through the message Fu Younian sent him with his fingertips.

Almost hated him a little.

He put down his mobile phone, lay on the hospital bed for more than half an hour, finally sat up, opened the drawer and found the medicine that was almost thrown away, and took it all with water, bitterness between his lips and teeth The smell of medicine, and the layer of sugar coating on the pills, is so sweet that it makes people sick and sick.

No matter how much water I drink, I can't hold it down.

Sometimes even after drinking sleeping pills, I still have dreams after falling asleep.

I feel that I have become a star in the vast and endless night sky, which cannot be more silent.

I don't know how long I'll have to wait like this.

Yu Xi secretly hid some sleeping pills and put them in an empty vitamin bottle. He had been saving them a long time ago, and now he has almost saved more than half of the bottle, and it is still a bit heavy in his hand.

After finishing the infusion in the evening, he took the bottle and sat alone in the corridor of the hospital.

Watching the people next to me come and go, I suddenly remembered my childhood.

At that time, his parents should not have passed away for too long. He always thought that they would come to pick him up. Every evening, he sat on the steps outside the orphanage and waited. He would stay there in winter, separated by a tightly locked door. Iron fence gate.

But he always couldn't wait for anyone, as if what he was looking forward to would never come, like he obviously couldn't bear it anymore, but he couldn't die.

The phone rang a few times in the palm of his hand, and it took Yu Xi a few seconds to recover and press the screen to turn on.

[Fu Younian]: Honey, I'm going to shoot a scene tonight, it will be over soon, and then I'll go to you, okay?

[. ]: Don't come here if it's late.

[Fu Younian]: I want to see you.

Yu Xi didn't reply him, until the screen of the phone went dark automatically, and the sky gradually dimmed. Finally, the corner was submerged in darkness, and the incandescent lights in the corridor suddenly turned on, and his tense shoulders relaxed.

He stood up, holding the bottle of medicine at his fingertips, found a mask to put on, and walked casually.

Passing by the consultation desk, I heard a patient chatting with the cleaning lady.

"I had the operation here more than ten years ago, and now it's a relapse, so I came here again." The patient lowered his voice and said to the cleaning, "It was a real mess at the time, and the hospital suppressed the news. It's useless, that child There are still a few people living in the ward, and they are almost frightened to death, where have you ever seen someone commit suicide like that."

"I just remember that bed of blood, sprayed everywhere," Bao Jie shook his head, "His brother is still a star, I didn't remember it at that time, but now I see it on TV all the time."

Yu Xi vaguely heard Fu Younian's name, and frowned.

Seeing someone passing by, they didn't talk any more. Those who should get off work packed up their things and went back to the ward when they should go back to the ward.

Yu Xi searched the Internet, but only found a few sporadic pieces of news, saying that Fu Younian's younger brother committed suicide.

At that time, Fu Younian's first movie hadn't won an award yet, and there wasn't much media attention on him. Yu Xi scrolled down and found nothing.

Do not know true or false.

But on the way back to the ward, he casually threw the bottle of medicine that he had saved for several months into the trash can at the corner of the corridor.

[. ]: Don't come.

Yu Xi replied to Fu Younian.

Fu Younian didn't know if he really didn't see it, or if he was pretending not to see it, and he never replied.

[. ]: I really want to break up.

Yu Xi mentioned it to Fu Younian several times a while ago, but Fu Younian always found various reasons to change the topic, or else he would prevaricate him, pretending that he didn't understand, and avoid talking about it next time.

Fu Younian called him directly.

"Is the infusion still in progress?" Fu Younian asked him.

Yu Xi was silent for a long time, his brows and eyes looked a little cold under the incandescent light, and said, "Let's break up."

"Why?" Fu Younian couldn't avoid it this time.

Fu Younian actually knew what Yu Xi was up to, but after a pause, he could only ask this question.

"Don't you like brother?" Fu Younian joked with him.

"Well, I don't like you anymore," Yu Xi sat back on the hospital bed, buried his cold feet under the quilt, and said to him, "I don't like you anymore, I don't want to see you, and I don't want to reply to your messages. I actually don’t want to answer the phone call, does that count as dislike?”

It seemed that someone from Fu Younian came to look for him, so he said to Yu Xi: "Let's not talk about this for now, okay? I'll find you at night."

When Yu Xi heard that Fu Younian had hung up the phone, he threw the phone at the corner of the bed.

The nurse came in to give him an infusion. He leaned against the pillow behind him and felt nothing when the infusion needle stuck on the back of his hand.

He scratched under the quilt near the knees and the heels of his legs were covered with red marks, some of which were almost bloody.As the night progressed, the pain in his legs became worse. It was densely packed like countless tiny needles stuck in the bones, and his back was covered with cold sweat. He could only divert his attention.

There is also a dull pain in the sternum, and it seems that breathing is being oppressed.

His ears are still buzzing continuously. In fact, the general leukemia does not have such complicated symptoms as him, but his years of illnesses seem to be gradually attacking, pulling his internal organs together, and tearing apart his entire body. Senses, determined to pull him into darkness.

After the infusion, I fell into a drowsy sleep for a while before I felt that the pain was not so severe.

When he opened his eyes again, it was completely dark, and the liquid in the infusion bottle had only gone halfway down. Yu Xi reached out to touch his mobile phone, and found that it was already past 09:30. He thought that Fu Younian would probably not be able tonight Come again.

After waking up, his vision was still a little blurry. After rubbing his eyes a little, the white fog in front of his eyes dissipated and he could see the screen clearly.

He didn't even get on the trumpet of that little rice cake y.

When I went online, I realized that someone had composed the birthday song for Fu Younian before transferring it to him.

Yu Xi flipped through Weibo aimlessly, and when he was about to quit, he suddenly saw a brightly posted item on the trending search - "Rong Ling" set fire.

Under the trending search, there are a few blurred photos posted by the marketing blog. The flames lit up the night, and there was thick smoke everywhere.

Some passers-by in the comments said that when they passed by there just now, they saw that the fire was extremely severe, and it took some time for the fire trucks to pass because of the traffic jam in the evening.

Yu Xi didn't look any further, and was about to turn off the phone, but suddenly caught a glimpse of the lighthouse not far away that stood out in the firelight in the photo, maybe it wasn't a lighthouse, it just looked alike.

He sat up suddenly and pulled the infusion needle on the back of his hand. Seeing that it was about to flow back, the nurse hurried over to help him hold his hand, but Yu Xi pushed her away.

"What's the matter?" the nurse looked at his sudden pale face and asked a little blankly.

Yu Xi didn't hear her words at all, and the buzzing in his ears suddenly became more intense, almost drowning out all his hearing, leaving only the ear-piercing noise.

He called Fu Younian five or six times, but none of them answered. At the end of the call, his fingertips were trembling, and he could hardly press the dial button. He called Li Yao again, but the result was the same, no matter how he called , there is no response at all.

Fu Younian never refused to answer his calls, even when he was filming, he would let Li Yao hold the phone.

The nurse was about to ring the call bell, and asked someone to look at his hands, only to see Yu Xi pressing the needle, pulling out the infusion needle with one hand, putting on his shoes, grabbing his coat, and taking the medical cotton next to him to press. Stopping the bleeding on the back of his hand, he ran out of the ward unsteadily.

I was stunned for a moment, and I didn't even have time to stop him.

Yu Xi ran out of the ward, glanced at the crowded elevator, turned around and went directly down the stairs holding onto the railing.

His legs were shaking violently with pain, and he could barely breathe, but he never stopped walking.

When I went to call a car on the street, several drivers saw his hospital gown and his pale face, so they didn't want to pull him.

Moreover, when he pulled out the needle, he was unsteady and bled a little. He pressed the medical cotton, but the cuff was still a little wet with blood.

The nurse hurriedly chased him out, Yu Xi only felt that there were people moving in front of him, people around him were pulling him to talk, but he couldn't hear a word, as if submerged by a sudden tide, his breathing became more and more rapid.

Regardless of the obstruction, he grabbed Zhou Xiaochi and got into the car, and told Zhou Xiaochi the location of the studio.

"Drive there, hurry up." Yu Xi said.

"Brother, I don't know if the fire over there has been extinguished, do you really want to go?" Zhou Xiaochi didn't dare to open it, "And your hand..."

Zhou Xiaochi still wanted to talk, but when he turned around, he saw Yu Xi's lips were tightly drawn, his expression was cold, his eyes were fixed on his steering wheel, he gritted his teeth and drove out.

There is a traffic jam along the way, and the evening rush hour often lasts until after ten o'clock.

Yu Xi kept refreshing the hot search interface, but no one said any new news.

A fire on the set is a terrible thing. There are crowds, props and shooting machines everywhere, and piles of inflammable materials. Even the nights in early summer are hot and dry, and a spark can spread into a sea of ​​​​fire that engulfs everything.

Fu Younian hasn't called him back yet.

I don't know if it was because he ran too fast just now, but Yu Xi felt that his eyes were blurred, his fingertips were cold and weak, and his breath was filled with a bloody smell, which made his mind dizzy, and his chest twitched and heaved like a broken bellows.

He remembered the last sentence he said to Fu Younian.

He said I don't like you anymore.

Zhou Xiaochi really panicked, he didn't dare not listen to Yu Xi, and he was afraid that something would happen to Yu Xi, he could smell the bloody smell in the car in a daze, and he took a shortcut and drove very fast along the way.

When they rushed to the set, the fire had already been extinguished, and firefighters were cleaning up the scene after the fire, and a cordon was pulled up around it.

As soon as he got close, he could feel the scorching heat in the air. Yu Xi got out of the car and looked up to see the thick smoke that couldn't be covered by the night, and it was scorched black everywhere.

"You can't come here!" Someone called him.

There were several crew members beside him, Yu Xi grabbed one casually, and the other party obviously recognized him with a look of astonishment.

"Is anyone hurt?" Yu Xi heard his own voice asking.

His voice was unbelievably dry and hoarse, as if he had just escaped from a fire.

The staff member was also dumbfounded, and answered him subconsciously, "Yes, there are a few who have a serious fever and have already been sent to the hospital."

"Where's Fu Younian?" Yu Xi asked again.

"Go too." The man said.

Also went.

Yu Xi only felt a gust of turbid blood overflowing from between his lips and teeth, and the scalding hot wind penetrated into his bones, and his chest was almost burned through.

He didn't know how he asked the address of that person's hospital, and when he rushed there again, his mind was in chaos.

When I got out of the car, I saw a crowd of people outside the hospital.

He pushed aside the people carrying the cameras and walked into the hospital hall. The glare of the incandescent lights fell, making his eyes sore that he could hardly see the road ahead.

He could smell the burning breath.

There were also doctors and nurses passing by carrying stretchers, all in a hurry, with cold expressions, and they were sending the injured to the burn department as quickly as possible.

Yu Xi walked in that direction.

There were burnt people everywhere, some were so burned that their faces were blurred, their eyebrows and eyes could not be distinguished, or their entire arms had turned into scorched black, their clothes were stained red with sticky blood, and they were moaning indistinctly.

He seemed to have completely forgotten human instinctive fear, and among those blurred human figures, he was trying to identify the person he was most familiar with.

A nurse saw that the blood on the back of his hand hadn't dried completely, his face was so white that he was still wearing a hospital gown, even though he didn't look like he was from this hospital, she walked over and grabbed him, "Excuse me, what help do you need?"

Yu Xi's lips moved a few times, and he said something in a low voice, but no one could hear him clearly.

His whole body was drenched in cold sweat, and he didn't know if it was because of the increasingly severe bone pain that made him shiver on such a summer night.

Seeing that he didn't speak and the back of his hand was no longer bleeding, the nurse didn't bother him too much.

The crowd in the hospital hall swarmed together, shaking people dizzily.

After searching for a long time, he finally saw a familiar figure in the corner.

The man was sitting on a chair in the corridor of the hospital, with his back to him, lowered his head for infusion, the exposed burned arm had been treated, and blood was still oozing under the gauze.

Yu Xi's leg hurt so badly that he couldn't move even an inch. He didn't know how he managed to walk, and walked over with difficulty. When he saw that person's face burned by the fire, it wasn't Fu Younian.

He had been ill for several months, and the organs in his chest and abdomen were twisted into chaos by the pain, and he was not more desperate than this moment.

When the phone rang, I felt like I was in a dream.

Yu Xi's fingertips were covered with thin sweat and wet blood. He leaned against the wall and connected the phone.

The moment he picked it up, he looked up and saw Fu Younian coming out of the emergency room at the end of the corridor.

Fu Younian also saw Yu Xi through the crowd, didn't expect him to be here, after a few seconds of stunned, he strode towards him, stretched out his hand and pulled him into his arms.

"How did you come here?" Fu Younian touched his cold cheek.

Before Yu Xi recovered, he stared into Fu Younian's eyes in a daze.

Fu Younian only wore a shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows. You could see traces of smoke and fire, but it wasn't serious. He didn't seem to be injured, but there were bloodstains on his arms and his trousers. He looked a little embarrassed.

Yu Xi grabbed his arm, and Fu Younian realized that his palms were covered in cold sweat, and his fingertips were still stained with blood.

"I'm fine." Fu Younian glanced at the back of his hand and found that he was no longer bleeding, so he was relieved, "It's not my blood, don't be afraid."

There was a trembling cry in his ear.

In the emergency room not far away, it is still clear through the noisy crowd and heavy walls.

Yu Xi seemed to wake up instantly.

After so many days, he woke up from the long chaos, the tinnitus faded away, and the surrounding sounds clearly pierced his eardrum.

He didn't cry all the way here, his eyes were always red, but he didn't shed a single tear. Even when he heard from the crew that Fu Younian had also come to the hospital, he just felt his eyes were dry.

But now suddenly, for some reason, tears welled up in an instant, and big drops fell down. After a while, the cloth on Fu Younian's shoulders was soaked, and then fell on his hands, diluting the blood stains .

He couldn't stand up because of the pain in his legs, squatted on the ground, and suddenly broke down and cried aloud.

Although it was only a small whimper, it was so faint in the hospital hall full of crying and groaning tonight, that even the people who hurried past him could not hear it.

But Fu Younian heard it very clearly, and his heart twitched suddenly.

He took his coat from Li Yao, put it on Yu Xi, reached out and hugged him directly, and walked to the parking lot outside the hospital.

The news of the fire spread too fast. After all, the location of the studio is not far from the city center, and there are usually many people passing by, and the fire happened just in time for the evening rush hour. People's attention, photographed and posted on the Internet.

Outside the hospital, there were many entertainment journalists who followed. They were blocked by the security guards and couldn't enter, but they still held up their cameras to take pictures from a distance, all wanting to get their hands on the report materials.

Seeing Fu Younian coming out of the hospital with someone in his arms, they all tried to catch up and take pictures, but they didn't dare to get close, so they could only press the flash a few times from a distance.

In fact, most of them saw Yu Xi entering the hospital just now, and they were quick enough to take pictures.

Fu Younian ignored those people and got into the car with Yu Xi in his arms.

He pressed Yu Xi's painful and trembling legs, but he didn't realize that his fingertips were also trembling a little. He took out a tissue and wanted to take off his coat to wipe Yu Xi's tears. He reached out and touched it, only to find that his forehead was hot and his face was wet. Scars, even tears are a little hot.

"It's okay." Fu Younian held him in his arms, patted his back lightly, and turned his head to kiss his cheek, "It's okay now."

Yu Xi cried for a long time, until the end of crying, her eye sockets were sore and sore, but she was still crying uncontrollably.

Fu Younian was at a loss, bowed his head and kept kissing his hair and ears.

He felt that Yu Xi was tightly clutching his wrist after getting into the car, his fingertips sunk deep and pinched into his flesh, but he didn't let Yu Xi let go, just let him hold it like that.

"Besides the legs, is there any other pain?" Fu Younian wanted him to talk to him, and kept holding his face with his fingertips.

Yu Xi shook his head, he wanted to speak, but he couldn't make any sound.

His throat seemed to be blocked by something, and the soreness spread all the way to his heart.

In fact, Fu Younian also had lingering fears. He almost arrived at the set. He was a few minutes late due to something on the road, so he just missed the disaster.

When the burning roof crackled and fell, he had just parked the car on the side of the road, and when he turned around, his eyes were full of flames.

The fire engine hadn't arrived yet, only the crew and the roadside businesses were fighting the fire, and there was a shortage of manpower.

He took off his coat and threw it in the car, and went to help meet a few people who had just escaped from the fire. He also left his phone in the car with his coat, and he didn't have time to receive Yu Xi's call.

Fu Younian suddenly remembered something, and when he saw Li Yao got into the car and sat in the driver's seat, he asked Li Yao to bring him the co-driver's things.

It was a very soft and fluffy Samoyed puppet, and Fu Younian put it in Yu Xi's arms.

On the way to the studio, he saw this Samoyed in the window of a store on the street from the corner of his eye while waiting for the signal light, so he stopped to buy it for Yu Xi, hoping to bring it to him at night.

Just a few minutes of delay.

In fact, he would go to the hospital every night, but Yu Xi didn't let him see him.

One evening, when the evening passed, I found Yu Xi sitting by the French window with a glass of water in his arms, looking out of the window, maintaining that movement for a long time.

He felt that Yu Xi was waiting for him.

So I began to wonder if I was really doing the right thing?Maybe he should stay by his side no matter what Yu Xi says.

Yu Xi pinched the pair of fluffy ears with her fingertips, her nose was sore, she managed to find her own voice, and found that her voice was unbearably hoarse.

Fu Younian heard what he said, but Yu Xi's voice was a bit vague, so he lowered his head and leaned closer to listen carefully.

"...I don't dislike you."

Tears flowed down again in an instant, Yu Xi couldn't feel any pain in his leg, he only felt his heart throbbing repeatedly, he didn't dare to think about what he would do if he didn't find Fu Younian in the end, and he might not be able to let Fu Younian go until he died. Fu Younian knew that he still loved him.

So finally abandoned all the insincere since so long.

"I miss you."

作者有话要说：感谢在2020-12-0420:19:30~2020-12-0616:55:06期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angel who threw the mine: 2 hand;

感谢灌溉营养液的小天使：我觉得可以停一停90瓶；曦滟21瓶；学习使我快乐20瓶；41648887、再也不熬夜、取什么破名字、雨花花、Sassylin10瓶；大风大浪回来的看、木头人、花样划水运动员5瓶；林深滩浅4瓶；36844845、Sparrrow3瓶；

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!