After wearing a sick and weak white moonlight, I collapse every day

Yu Xi was even more embarrassed by what he said, and felt that Fu Younian had too much filter on him.

He looked at his pale face in the mirror, without a trace of blood, with sunken eye sockets, he was so different from before, he almost couldn't recognize him, yet Fu Younian still praised him against his will.

In a few months, we don't know what will become of it.

"It's almost nine o'clock," Yu Xi saw in the video that Fu Younian seemed to be in the car, with a rug he left on the back of the back seat, "Why don't you go home?"

Fu Younian doesn't go home very much now, and he just feeds the cat when he goes back.

When Yu Xi left, he cleaned up his things very cleanly. He didn't even forget the half of the toothpaste in the bathroom, as if he deliberately erased his own traces. He thought that by doing this, Fu Younian would slowly forget about him. , because he was forgotten in that family in his previous life.

But this is actually of no use to Fu Younian.

Sometimes when he was drunk, he would sleep on the sofa directly after returning home. When he woke up in the middle of the night, he would hear some movement in the study, and he would think that it was Yu Xi who was hiding in the study with the cat in his arms and fell asleep.I got up and went to look, only to find that only the cat was scratching the drawer secretly.

Yu Xi really left.

He was forced to confirm this fact over and over again.

"I'll go back later," Fu Younian found that Yu Xi had quietly removed a little sticker, exposing his forehead and a pair of eyes. For some reason, he wanted to laugh, but he was afraid of alarming him, so he held back, and continued, "You really don't want to come with me for supper? I can buy quicksand bags or small wontons for you."

His tone was a little gentle, and it sounded like he was cajoling.

Yu Xi whispered: "You lie to me with food, and I won't go with you."

As soon as he finished speaking, he heard Fu Younian chuckle in the earphones, as if he was laughing at him, he suddenly became a little annoyed, found a few more stickers, and completely stuck his side without leaving any gaps. show him.

"I'm sorry," Fu Younian apologized to him without sincerity with a smile in his voice, "Then I'll buy it for you, okay?"

Yu Xi didn't speak.

He inadvertently glanced out of the floor-to-ceiling windows, only to find that there seemed to be a familiar car parked in the shaded corner.

He didn't know that Fu Younian was really waiting for him outside, and he thought that Fu Younian was talking about coming here to pick him up later.

"How long have you been here?" Yu Xi asked suddenly.

"Huh?" Fu Younian hadn't recovered yet, the alcohol made his reaction a little sluggish, and he said after a few seconds, "I just arrived when I called you."

Fu Younian would often drive over at night, and he didn't tell Yu Xi. He just parked the car there and looked at the light in Yu Xi's room by the car window. When it went out, he would sleep in the car. , and the only way to sleep well.

But he really just arrived tonight.

Yu Xi struggled for a long time, but finally softened for a moment, and said to Fu Younian: "Then just wait."

Fu Younian was stunned for a moment, and when he saw that the video was suddenly hung up, he hurriedly opened the car door.

As soon as he got out of the car, he heard Yu Xi's footsteps behind him. Before he could see clearly when he turned his head, he instinctively reached out to catch him and hug him tightly.Yu Xi ran too fast, failed to stop, almost hit his arms, Fu Younian put his arms around his waist, rubbed the back of his neck with the other hand, lowered his head to kiss him .

It turned out that something was wrong after kissing her, and Yu Xi wore a mask.

Yu Xi blinked at him innocently, Fu Younian hooked the edge of his mask, and Yu Xi pushed his fingertips away again.

"What are you wearing this for?" Fu Younian patted his forehead.

Yu Xi didn't say a word, he tiptoed to hug Fu Younian, smelled the strong smell of alcohol on his body, and said to him: "Why are you drinking again?"

"...Occasionally." Fu Younian whispered.

Fu Younian hugged him very tightly, Yu Xi felt a little out of breath, but didn't want him to let go.

Sometimes Yu Xi couldn't help but look at the phone to see if Fu Younian was looking for him.

Fu Younian would send him a message almost every morning.

Ask him if he wants to go to the hospital today, or if he is going to start a game live broadcast, and then Yu Xi goes online, and he will see the reward Fu Younian gave him.The rewards can be named by themselves, and Fu Younian always teased him with that and gave him a lot of little goldfish.

In the morning, he was getting infusions or going to the hospital for reexamination, so Fu Younian seldom sent him messages. When he woke up after taking a nap after three o'clock in the afternoon, he would see a few new messages from Fu Younian.

Yu Xi gradually knew when the phone would ring, he started to wake up very early, he could receive the message at eight o'clock, he often woke up after seven o'clock, and then picked up the phone and flipped aimlessly , but he could never admit what he was waiting for.

Until the chat box suddenly jumped, he clicked in, and then clicked on the voice message Fu Younian sent him.

I heard him ask him, is the baby going to wake up?

Yu Xi also found a recording pen, exported all the voices Fu Younian sent him and moved them into it, thinking that one day in the future, he would make a joke of Fu Younian's nastyness, but he did not admit that he himself always Feeling alone, wanting to take a little of his voice with me when I leave.

"Then why haven't you eaten so late?" Yu Xi asked him again.

Fu Younian let go of him a little, took off his mask while he was not paying attention, and saw his pale to transparent cheeks as if he lacked pigment.

"I forgot," Fu Younian said to him, "the company has a meeting."

Yu Xi felt that what he said was a lie, and there was no evidence to expose him.

They went to a nearby restaurant and sat down for a late-night snack.

Yu Xi has no appetite, and he hasn't had a good meal for a long time, and every time he vomits up after eating, the doctor can't do anything about it, unless he stops chemotherapy, otherwise it will be difficult to improve completely, but this is not the case at all. possible thing.

So I had to infuse him with a little nutrient solution every now and then.

"You eat this crab roe bun." Yu Xi didn't eat it himself, and kept holding it for Fu Younian, and then propped his chin to watch him eat.

Fu Younian saw that he piled a bowl full for himself, almost overflowing, so he smiled and said, "I don't like it."

"I don't hate it." Yu Xi picked up a piece of fish, carefully picked out the thorn with the tip of his chopsticks, and pushed the plate to Fu Younian's side.

"You have to go home early and go to bed," Yu Xi whispered beside him, "You can't drive by yourself after drinking, and remember to eat at night."

Fu Younian stopped his chopsticks and asked him, "I can't remember so much, what should I do?"

"...I can't help if I can't remember." Yu Xi shrunk his fingertips slightly and grabbed the tablecloth.

Yu Xi didn't move his chopsticks much, he barely ate a few mouthfuls, and felt a little nauseous again, so he quickly stopped and didn't eat any more.

Fu Younian ate a meal with great taste.

After leaving the restaurant, he held Yu Xi's hand and sent him home.

Yu Xi didn't allow him to stay downstairs, so Fu Younian had no choice but to leave. Before leaving, Yu Xi stuffed something into his palm, like a small note.After Fu Younian got in the car, he opened it and found that it was a note that Yu Xi tore from the restaurant just now, with a few lines written on it.

drink less.

remember to eat.

sleep earlier.

Concise and concise, full of straight male atmosphere, just write a drink more hot water at the bottom.

But at the end of the signature, a chubby little goldfish is drawn, which suddenly looks innocent and silly.

Fu Younian looked at it and smiled for a while, pasted the sticky note on the car where he could see it when he looked up, and then pressed his slightly sore eye sockets.

Yu Xi has been ill for so long, from winter to early summer.

It was less than two months away from the six months the doctor said.

Even Mr. Yu felt that there was no hope. Instead of urging Yu Xi to get an infusion or go to the hospital for treatment every day, he followed his heart and saw where he wanted to go and what he wanted to do without stopping him. he.

Yu Xi felt that connivance, but he still went to the hospital on time every day without missing a single medicine.

Even though his stomach keeps acid reflux, the medicine he has been taking for many years makes his liver hurt a little.

The number of times Fu Younian sent him messages has also gradually decreased. Almost every day, he will only send him a few sporadic words in the morning, noon and evening, and will no longer send him many messages at once like some time ago.

At the end of this month, Yu Xi had to go to the hospital again.

Fu Younian accompanied him to go through the hospitalization procedures.

Yu Xi actually wanted Fu Younian to stay here with him for one night. Every day is very long now, and he feels that the last time he was hospitalized seems like a long time ago. Lying on the hospital bed, he smells that there is nowhere in the air. I was not used to the smell of disinfectant when I was away, and the pale color in the ward was also very glaring.

But he couldn't speak.

Fu Younian didn't take the initiative to stay with him either, and went home after having dinner with him in the evening.

Yu Xi was thinking about when to break up with Fu Younian.

I was also afraid that Fu Younian would still not agree.

He is too lazy to move now, unlike when he was first hospitalized, he would drag Fu Younian to go out for a walk every day.

Even lying down felt exhausting, his whole body was dry and hot, his breathing was scalding hot, the blood spread and flowed along his veins like magma, it was so hot that he couldn't touch his skin, his internal organs were almost burned through, like It was blood flowing out, overflowing the entire abdominal cavity and chest cavity.

There are not a few hours in the whole day when you are fully awake.

When I opened my eyes, I occasionally saw Fu Younian was there, and occasionally I was not there.

The footsteps beside him came and went, but he sounded like they were separated by a thick membrane, and he couldn't tell who it was.

For the first time, he realized that death is such a feeling.

In the afternoon, I went for bone piercing again. At this stage, after chemotherapy, I usually need to do another bone piercing every ten days or so to observe the curative effect. After each treatment, it will take nearly a week for Yu Xi to recover, so it is almost impossible. The pain of interruption.

He walked slowly to the ward alone, and when he saw doctors and nurses hurrying into the ward at the corner of the corridor, he stopped and took a look from afar.

It seemed to be resuscitating, and vaguely heard the words 'complications'.

When the patient was pushed to the operating room, Yu Xi accidentally saw his closed eyes and gray face, blood was still spilling out of his mouth uncontrollably.

Fu Younian waited for the doctor to issue a bill, and after paying the fee, he went to buy dinner before returning to the ward to look for Yu Xi.

Yu Xi was still lying on the hospital bed, sleeping very drowsily.

Fu Younian found that he was sleeping longer and longer. The doctor told him to take Yu Xi out for a walk to bask in the sun, but it was also difficult for him to wait until Yu Xi woke up.

"Get up and have something to eat first," Fu Younian leaned over and touched his slightly hot cheek, pulled his bony wrist, and said, "Go to sleep later, or you won't be able to sleep at night."

Yu Xi didn't hear it, and even his eyelashes didn't tremble a bit.

Fu Younian immediately reached out and picked him up, let him lean into his arms, and pinched the tip of his nose.

Only then did Yu Xi open his eyes in a daze, and looked at his face out of focus. After a few minutes, he finally came back to his senses, and said a little dullly, "Yes."

In the evening, I bought cod fish porridge and a few side dishes, and Fu Younian made the rest at home and brought them over. Yu Xi liked to eat the pancakes sprinkled with minced meat for a while, they were fragrant and crispy, I don't know how Fu Younian did it.

But this time Yu Xi picked up a small piece and tried to bite a little, but he couldn't swallow it for a long time.

"It's okay if you can't eat it." Fu Younian gave him a tissue, "Just spit it out."

Yu Xi shook his head, drank some water, and finally managed to finish the small piece of pancake.

"Don't come tomorrow," Yu Xi said to him, "and don't come in the future."

Fu Younian paused and said, "Don't you want to see me?"

Yu Xi nodded.

The gray and dismal face and the skinny limbs flashed before his eyes, and he looked down at his slender fingertips again.

"I don't want to see you." Yu Xi said.

Fu Younian was silent for a long time. After watching him drink the bowl of porridge, he opened his mouth again and said, "I'm getting used to it."

Yu Xi looked up at him.

"...I will cook for myself when you are not at home, and I recently received a new announcement." Fu Younian continued, "Do you still remember the lighthouse you asked me about before? The studio is near there, It takes ten days to make a guest appearance, so I can't come to see you in these ten days. Take care of yourself."

Listening to his words, Yu Xi thought she would cry, but she couldn't shed a single tear.

He seemed to close the gate in front of Fu Younian, not daring to let Fu Younian see his tears, for fear that Fu Younian would be ruthless and reluctant to leave him, so in the end tears flowed into his heart, drowning The whole heart was full of the saltiness of tears, only he knew it.

"Go," Yu Xi said, "don't... worry about me, when you come back next time, I will still be here."

Fu Younian wanted to smile at him, but he couldn't move the corner of his mouth.

Finally, I said to him, "Okay."

作者有话要说：感谢在2020-12-0321:20:47~2020-12-0420:19:30期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angels of the irrigation nutrient solution: 36 bottles; 18 bottles with a broken name; 10 bottles of Yinmao and Lin Qiushi; 5 bottles of synchronized paddlers;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!