After filming this section, Yu Xi pushed Fu Younian away, raised the back of his hand and rubbed his slightly hot lips.

Fu Younian was a little dissatisfied, and when he followed him to the locker room to change, he grabbed his collar from behind, lightly as if he was carrying a small animal, pulled him into his arms, bowed his head and kissed him, and held him tightly. He was not allowed to rub his wrists.

"Let me go." Yu Xi tried to struggle, but Fu Younian's hand remained motionless, holding his wrist in his palm.

Fu Younian didn't say a word, afraid that someone would come in suddenly, so he pushed him into the narrow cubicle of the dressing room, then pinched his chin and lowered his head to kiss him, feeling that he had kissed him enough , and finally let go.

Yu Xi found that there was no way to reason with the hooligans.

He rubbed his wrists, and whispered while changing his clothes, "You are finished, if I become a ghost, I will squat beside your bed every night to scare you."

He took off his shirt, revealing a thin and cold back.

The small lights in the compartment are not very bright, but the slightly sunken curvature of the spine can be vaguely seen, like an arc of moonlight.

Fu Younian saw that he had put on a thin sweater, went over to help him straighten his hem, leaned into his ear, and whispered to him: "If that's the case, I wish you could come every day."

Yu Xi paused for a moment, remained silent and did not speak again.

In fact, every day that passes now, hope fades away.

Fu Younian went to the nursing home before and asked Yu Xi's attending doctor what was the best time for surgery, and the answer he got was half a year.

If you were an ordinary person, you might be able to wait a little longer through treatment, and some people can still recover from surgery after waiting for a few years to match, but Yu Xi's body may be at the end of his strength by that time. It's hard to wake up.

Apart from these, the torment of the long-term treatment in the middle is probably in vain.

"I don't want to be cured anymore, Fu Younian." Sitting on the sofa beside him, Yu Xi bowed his head and put on his shoes, and suddenly said something very calmly.

It was a rare truth for him during this period of time, and it seemed that his heart was empty when he said it, but it was also a lot easier.

Fu Younian saw that he was struggling to bend over, so he squatted down to help him tie his shoelaces.

Halfway through the tie, Fu Younian took his hand and put it on his neck, saying, "You're not here...I can't live well by myself."

"Just... it's still the same as you were before," Yu Xi said to him, "How did you live before, and it will still be the same in the future, just treat it as I broke up with you, so we didn't see each other again."

Going around and coming to this topic again, but staying in this narrow space, surrounded by surroundings, seems to have a secret sense of security, so I can speak the truth frankly.

Sometimes Fu Younian thinks that if someone has to get sick, he would rather get sick himself than Yu Xi get well.

But in that case, he may also want to break up with Yu Xi, he is reluctant to let Yu Xi suffer a little with him.

Finally, there is no solution.

Occasionally, Fu Younian wondered if he was too selfish. He clearly knew that Yu Xi was suffering and how much it hurt him, but because he couldn't bear it, he pulled Yu Xi and refused to let him go, and let him suffer. Torment with no end in sight.

After more than ten days of continuous filming, Yu Xi suddenly developed a fever again, and went to the hospital to hang up with salt water several times at night.

But there are not many other problems, and there is no need to go back to the hospital.

But in the follow-up, the intensity of shooting has to be reduced a little bit, and I can only go to the set for three or four hours a day.

In this way, there is no need to live in a hotel near the studio. With plenty of time, Fu Younian wants to take him home to live.

As a result, Yu Xi did not agree.

"I can go to my grandfather's place," Yu Xi said, "it's not far from the hospital, and it's also close to the nursing home."

"...What about your puppy? Do you want to take it to Grandpa too?" Fu Younian turned around and asked him.

They were still in the car going to the studio, Yu Xi picked the cushion of the back seat with his fingertips, and said, "It's okay, it doesn't need to stay on the first floor with me."

"When shall I see you?" Fu Younian asked him again.

"No need," Yu Xi said softly, "We'll meet you on the set."

Fu Younian didn't speak anymore.

Yu Xi has always been decisive, but Fu Younian did not expect him to leave so completely and suddenly.

Yu Xi picked a day when Fu Younian was not at home, and took all his belongings, even Snowball's, and put them in the car, leaving nothing behind.He also returned the house next door to Fu Younian and did not renew the lease. Anyway, it has been vacant for a long time, and he probably won't have the chance to live in it again in the future.

When Fu Younian came home at night, he felt that the house was much empty.

Even the little dog that usually rushed out when the door opened was gone, and the little black cat was lying alone on the back of the sofa, chattering, its tail wagging unconsciously and becoming sluggish.

He took the key to open the door next door, but found that the lock cylinder could not be inserted.

Fu Younian stood in the corridor for a long time, the voice-activated lights were all turned off, and he stood in the complete darkness, only the faint moonlight shining through the corridor windows.

Standing a little numb, he went home, sat down on the sofa, and sent a message to Yu Xi.

[Fu Younian]: When did you leave?

[. ]:afternoon.

Yu Xi's news came back very quickly, and Fu Younian felt the blood flowing through his fingertips warm up.

[Fu Younian]: Why didn't you wait for me to come back to help you pack your things?

[. ]: Don't bother you, I don't have much to take.

Yu Xi really didn't have much to pack. Putting it in the trunk, except for the clothes brought by the brand, the rest of the things he bought were all bought by himself, and the sum of them was not as good as Xueqiu's.

[Fu Younian]: Shall I pick you up to the set tomorrow?

[. ]: No, I asked my assistant to drive me, and you have to wait a long time to come.

Fu Younian sent Yu Xi a few more messages, but Yu Xi didn't reply.

After all, the male lead of "Blind Friend" is Song Xigu, and he has a lot more roles than Jiang Chao. Fu Younian has basically finished filming, but he still goes to the set every day, and has nothing else to do, just watch from the sidelines Yu Xi is filming.

Yu Xi went to shoot a session almost every afternoon, and left in the evening when the shoot was over.

As a result, he seldom eats on the set, and the shooting time is very tight, and he has no time to talk to Fu Younian. Often, the two of them stay on the set for an afternoon, and at most, their eyes meet unexpectedly for a moment.

Fu Younian didn't know what Yu Xi was thinking.

He just thought he was going crazy.

He began to suffer from insomnia for a long time, and he couldn't fall asleep at night. He drank sleeping pills and it didn't seem to work, so he could only take out his mobile phone and read the sporadic messages that Yu Xi had sent him over and over again.Or just get up and drink. He was sitting on the carpet at home, leaning against the sofa behind him, smelling of alcohol. The little black cat was unwilling to approach him when he smelled that smell.

Sometimes he couldn't control himself, so he kept sending messages or calling Yu Xi, like an addict in seizure.

Yu Xi would occasionally reply him with a sentence or two.

Only then did Fu Younian gradually understand what Yu Xi meant.

Now Yu Xi will still reply to his messages, even if it is only a few short words, or an emoticon package, and he will answer his calls, although most of the time he unilaterally pulls Yu Xi to talk, and Yu Xi is separated from others. It took a long time to reply.

But at least Yu Xi will respond to him.

Maybe one day, all the messages he sent will disappear, and no one will answer the calls he made.

In the later stage of shooting, the plot of the movie reached the most depressing stage.

There are still two lines. One is that Jiang Yan went abroad to study in his third year of high school and broke contact with Song Xigu; the other is that Jiang Chao’s cancer has deteriorated to the limit. Lying on the bed waiting to die, and he did die in the end, unable to overcome disease and fate, leaving Song Xigu alone.

When Yu Xi went to put on makeup, the makeup artist asked him to roll up his sleeves to melt the scars left by electric shock treatment and self on his arms, mainly near his wrists.

In the end, I saw the traces of his chemotherapy tube, subconsciously gasped, and quickly apologized to him, "I'm sorry, this...may have to be covered up a little, otherwise it will be very conspicuous on camera."

"Well, it's all right." Yu Xi was easy to talk, and played around casually, and didn't care about her eyes and gaffes.

Jiang Yan has gone abroad.

Before leaving, he found Song Xigu and said to him, "You take the college entrance examination well. After a year or two, I can return to China, and I will go to Yanda to find you."

Song Xigu was full of expectations. He had never studied so hard in his life. He was almost painstaking. He even memorized formulas when he slept and dreamed at night. Occasionally, he would whisper Jiang Yan's name in his sleep.

However, not long after Jiang Chao left, the last semester of senior high school ended and the holidays just started, his parents suddenly said they wanted to take him to see a doctor.

Song Xigu didn't know what kind of illness he had at all, so he was forcibly taken away and treated for more than two months, before returning to school to resume classes in April.

His grades plummeted, and he finally touched the edge of Yanda University, which suddenly became out of reach again.

He was in a trance during the days of the college entrance examination.

He couldn't get into Yanda, where would Jiang Yan go to find him?

What Yu Xi wanted to shoot today was after the results of the college entrance examination came out. Song Xigu was destined not to enroll in Yanda University and could only go to an ordinary undergraduate school, so he did everything possible to get Jiang Yan's current overseas number from his classmates, and the one who called him part.

His arm was clearly healed, and the scars from his parents had also healed, but he still felt a dull pain, as if there was an electric current.

That summer was so sweltering that I feel sweaty when I think about it years later.

The small shop's phone was old, and the handset had been held by many people, and it was sticky with sweat, but Song Xigu didn't feel it, and he waited anxiously for the other party to answer the phone.

Yu Xi tugged at his sleeves uneasily, trying to cover the scars on his wrists. Wearing long sleeves in this weather and covering them tightly, he looked like a monster. Many people looked back at him strangely, so his head became more and more serious. Low.

No one answered the phone, no matter how he called.

That little hope gradually faded.

He was about to give up, but suddenly he heard a familiar voice from the microphone. At that moment, he almost burst into tears.

Months of withdrawal treatment made him feel pain when he heard this voice, but he couldn't help but listen carefully, unwilling to miss even a small ups and downs.

"...Jiang Yan." As soon as he opened his mouth, his voice trembled.

"Well, I'm Jiang Yan." The boy on the phone seemed to be more mature and stable than half a year ago. After the voice change period, his voice was no longer hoarse. "Who is it?"

Song Xigu never expected that Jiang Yan would not be able to hear his voice, even though the microphone was really not clear and would blur the tone.

"Why don't you talk?" Jiang Yan was a little impatient.

He was still having a party with his classmates in the villa, and a boy leaned hard on him. Jiang Yan patted his lower back, looked at his reddish cheeks, and thought of another person in a daze.He glanced at the unfamiliar number again, and asked uncertainly, "Song Xigu?"

His parents divorced, and after he went abroad with his father, no one cared about his sexual orientation anymore. He breathed the free air in this place, and only then did he realize how depressing the time he was with Song Xigu was, as if in Do something shameful that makes him unable to lift his head and look directly at him.

He is much more relaxed now, he can walk down the street holding the hand of any boy at will, without worrying too much about strange eyes.

So he also gradually forgot that he had agreed with someone to take the same university exam.

It's always like this when I was young, it's easy to fall in love vigorously, and forget it as soon as I turn around.

But he looked down at the water-blue eyes of the boy beside him, and felt suddenly stung again.

But Song Xigu suddenly hung up the phone.

He paid the phone bill, looked at the gradually darkening sky, and walked home along the Manshui Bridge.

Su Qing lives nearby. His family owns a small shop, and he is helping to clean up the tables at the barbecue stand in front of the shop. When he looked up and saw Song Xigu, he waved at him vigorously, "Xigu! Didn't have dinner, come over to grill skewers together. !"

Song Xigu looked at him blankly, tears streaming down his thin jaw, he finally remembered that Jiang Yan never seemed to say that he liked him.

A dream of falling in love when I was young was shattered like this.

Yu Xi's tears were about to be stopped when the record was slapped.

Fu Younian saw that he was about to change his clothes after wiping him casually, so he followed him and grabbed him, and then used the hot towel in his hand to apply to his red eyes from crying.

"Crybaby." Fu Younian said.

"I didn't cry." Yu Xi denied it, it was obviously necessary for the filming of the drama.

Yu Xi saw Fu Younian's face through the gap between the towels, Fu Younian just covered his eyes seriously, without any other expressions.It seemed that he hadn't hung up on so many of his phone calls, nor ignored his messages, and deliberately left him alone to let him understand the feeling of separation in advance.

After this scene, Fu Younian was completely wrapped up, but this time, no one in the crew was in the mood to celebrate.

Jiang Chao survived to the end and died of stomach cancer.

Before he died, he signed a donation letter and asked his colleagues to exchange his cornea with Song Xigu, but don't tell Song Xigu.

"Okay, I'll help him with the operation." I have worked with Jiang Chao in this hospital for several years, and I still have some feelings. Jiang Chao got sick, and the whole department was very sad. The colleague couldn't help asking, "Song Xigu is your relative?"

Jiang Chao was so sick that he was almost speechless.

His lips parted, tears flowed from the corners of his eyes, and he said, "...he is my very good friend."

The rest are a few scenes where Song Xigu goes to Jiang Chao's funeral.

Yu Xi went to change clothes.

When the shooting was about to start, the assistant took the bouquet of flowers used as a prop and handed it to him. Yu Xi caught a glimpse of it from the corner of his eye, but was stunned for a moment, "Why is it a white camellia?"

He reached out to take it, and when he touched the soft and white petals, his fingertips trembled a little.

It was so heavy that he could hardly hold it.

Zhou Xiaochi scratched his head and said, "Director Zhang asked me to bring it over. He said that the flower language of white camellia is very suitable."

—How can you despise my love.

Yu Xi didn't ask any more questions, and walked towards the camera with the bouquet of flowers.

Fu Younian specially came over to accompany him to shoot the last scene, instead of sitting behind the monitor with Zhang Feiran and watching, he found a corner on the set that would not block his view.

He didn't stare at him to make a good scene like he did when he was filming "Youth Delinquent", but he just came to accompany him.

Song Xigu didn't know when Jiang Chao died, and he didn't see Jiang Chao for the last time.

It was only when he went to the hospital for a follow-up examination that he occasionally heard Jiang Chao's colleagues mention his death.

Song Xigu asked Jiang Chao's colleague for the time and address of his funeral.

At first, Jiang Chao’s colleagues didn’t want to give it. After all, Song Xigu is a patient here, so it’s best not to involve too much between doctors and patients. Leaving the cornea to him, this must be a very good friend, so I still told Song Xigu.

Song Xigu went to Jiang Chao's funeral alone.

At the funeral, Jiang Chao's parents saw him and wanted to drive him away, but they didn't want to ruin their son's funeral and make people laugh, so they finally endured it.Fortunately, Song Xigu didn't make any noise, and stayed quietly among the crowd.

Jiang Chao's friends and colleagues are here, as well as friends he met when he was studying abroad.

Most people had never seen Song Xigu, and Song Xigu was still leaning on a blind stick, which made them even more curious.

Someone went over to him and asked him, "Are you Jiang Chao's old classmate?"

Song Xigu didn't notice that he was talking to him at first, but when he came to his senses later, the other party had already left, but he didn't know it, smiled a little at the open space, and said softly: "He is mine... …friend."

Song Xigu's surgery was very successful. After five months, his eyes were fully recovered. The moment he took off the gauze covering his eyes, he saw the long-lost light and almost shed tears.

But he endured it and went back, just facing the mirror and reaching out to touch his eyes.

Next up is the exterior, the last few shots of the movie, in a suburban cemetery.

Yu Xi took the bouquet of white camellias and walked on the way to Jiang Chao's tomb.

He seemed to be numb and couldn't feel too many emotions, but he couldn't help but wonder if Fu Younian would bring a bouquet of white camellias to see him one day in the future, maybe he would stay in Jiangchao like he is now. Looking down at the faded black-and-white photo on his tombstone, he said a few words to him.

But got no answer.

Song Xigu looked at Jiang Chao's photo and fell into a brief silence.

He once kissed and hugged Jiang Chao at his home, did more intimate things, embraced and danced a dance on the balcony, but he was not familiar with Jiang Chao's face.

Jiang Chao hasn't changed much in these years, but after all, he has faded from his youthful youthfulness and has become sharper.

Through such a photo, one can vaguely glimpse the shadow of publicity, like the face and figure that Song Xigu saw countless times in the classroom, on the playground, or in the sweaty and noisy boxing ring .

It is already the season of spring.

Song Xigu leaned over to put down the bouquet of flowers, but did not say a word to Jiang Chao in the end.

There was also a grave-sweeping person next to him. Seeing Jiang Chao's youthful features on the tombstone, he sighed with some regret and asked Song Xigu, "Is this your...?"

A slightly dazzling spring light falls on Song Xigu.

He stood in that soft light and shadow, like a frozen shadow that was about to dissipate in the blink of an eye.

"He is my friend," Song Xigu raised his head, and continued, "and also my... lover."

The last time the scene was played, "Blind Friend" was finished.

Zhang Feiran also didn't hold a wrap-up banquet, and it was boring to do it, even the leading actors couldn't come, so he just sprinkled a few big red envelopes in the work group.

Fu Younian felt that this group was targeting him, and every time he was the worst.

But this time, no one passed on the red envelopes they grabbed to him.

After wrapping up, Yu Xi seldom went out, and stayed at home all day, occasionally playing the piano by himself, or using the account with the id'Niannianyouyu' to broadcast games live.However, he can't live broadcast for too long, and he will go offline after playing a few rounds at most.

Fu Younian would ask him out every now and then, or ask if he could come and find him.

Yu Xi would occasionally agree to have a meal outside with him.

When they met, each other felt a little out of shape.

But for a while, Yu Xi vomited badly after chemotherapy. He felt that he was a bit ugly, so he didn't want to see Fu Younian, and he didn't meet him for half a month.

Fu Younian sent him messages but no one responded, and he was always very uneasy, so he called him again.

Yu Xi only picked it up this time.

But after picking it up, no one spoke the first sentence.

After a few seconds, Fu Younian said to him: "Didn't you see the news just now? Last time you said you liked the glutinous glutinous glutinous rice balls on the East Street, do you want to eat together? I'll wait for you downstairs at your grandfather's side .”

"...I won't go," Yu Xi looked down at the back of his hand, which was bruised from frequent infusions, and his wrist, which was too slender, "I'm not hungry."

"Then can you stay with me?" Fu Younian's voice was naturally low, and it was really not suitable for acting like a baby, but he drank, leaned on the car seat, lowered the car window and looked at Yu Xi's lighted window, the night breeze didn't even bother He was sober and insisted on playing tricks on him, "I haven't eaten yet, I'm very hungry, and I want to eat with you."

"You can go by yourself, or ask Luo Chen and the others to go with you." Yu Xi lay on his side on the bed, holding the plush puppy Fu Younian bought for him in his arms, rubbing his soft ears.

"But I haven't seen you for a long time." Fu Younian pulled up his collar and smelled the smell of alcohol on it. He wondered if Yu Xi would dislike it. He was not sick and didn't need to take painkillers like Yu Xi, but he seemed to be suffering from the deepest part of his body. There was a dense pain everywhere, so he could only use alcohol as his analgesic drug, so as not to keep him awake, "I want to see you."

Yu Xi was a little tangled, he got up and changed his clothes, but he couldn't hide his thinner figure than half a month ago.

He stretched out his hand and pinched his cheek, but he couldn't swell any flesh.

"Then...then," Yu Xi heard that Fu Younian was still on the other side of the phone, and hesitantly said to him, "Can we video?"

Fu Younian reluctantly agreed.

Yu Xi went to pick a sticker that could cover her face, and opened it during the video.

So as soon as Fu Younian picked it up, he saw the fat orange cat with a small flower on his head on the screen, and couldn't help laughing.

He drank too much wine, his normally cold voice was softened by the alcohol, and he said to him, "Honey, I don't want to see the cat, I want to see you."

"I don't want to show it to you." Yu Xi moved the sticker with his fingertips, just enough to cover his face, and said a little embarrassedly.

"Why?" Fu Younian asked him.

Yu Xi sat on the bed hugging her knees, "Because it doesn't look good."

"How could it be?" Fu Younian looked at the part of his finger that was accidentally exposed, his eyes almost fixed on it obsessively, and said, "You look good everywhere."

The author has something to say: It is estimated that there are five or six more chapters, but it depends on how much you can write every day during this period, it should not be too much difference

感谢在2020-12-0220:00:05~2020-12-0321:20:47期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

感谢灌溉营养液的小天使:ds.hua34瓶;篛手、祖曼、1979528020瓶;deepfish、Mammoth、就不吃葱、再也不熬夜、阿世和音10瓶;雨花花、花样划水运动员5瓶;Sassylin4瓶;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!

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