After wearing a sick and weak white moonlight, I collapse every day

Yu Xi soon entered the observation and isolation period again, and even Fu Younian couldn't stay with him in the ward all the time.

Leukemia is often accompanied by low immunity. Yu Xi is not in good health, so he is more likely to be infected by various viruses in this situation.Now he can only try to avoid contact with too many people, the number of visits is limited every day, and he cannot go to public places, even if the crowd is not particularly crowded.

Fu Younian was afraid that he would feel bored.

Although it was summer, the wards were still spacious and bright with floor-to-ceiling windows, but in a place like a hospital, it was all blue and white, which always gave people a very cold feeling.Yu Xi stayed alone in the ward, with no one to accompany him, and no patient companions.

His energy was low, and he began to tire within an hour of anything he did.In addition, it was difficult to walk, and most of the time was lying on the hospital bed in a daze.

Fu Younian still stayed outside his ward, and went to see him through the glass window on the side of the corridor from time to time.

Yu Xi got up and sat down there to look at the things he brought over.

The sound insulation in the ward is still very good, and none of them can hear what the other is saying, but the strange thing is that even such a difficult communication seems to be very interesting. Occasionally, they can't tell each other's meaning, so they pick up their mobile phones to send messages.

[Fu Younian]: Baby, let me ask you if you want crucian carp soup for lunch.

【. 】: Then you should search for a recipe and show it to me, I can't understand the gestures.

[Fu Younian]: Besides this, what else do you want to eat?

Yu Xi thought for a while, looked up at Fu Younian, then lowered his head and typed.

【. 】: I want the kind of pan-fried chicken drumsticks from last time. [Suck slip.jpg]

Fu Younian saw that he sent a list of dish names, so he wrote them down and planned to buy them later.

Just a normal day.

Fu Younian also promised Yu Xi that if the doctor agreed, he would take him for a walk in the small park behind the hospital in the afternoon.

But when he bought the fried chicken legs that Yu Xi wanted and was about to go upstairs with the lunch box, Fu Younian suddenly received a call from the bone marrow bank, telling him that there was a new donor who was a match with Yu Xi. It worked.

Fu Younian sent the lunch box to Yu Xi's ward first, and then rushed to find the doctor.

The treatment team is already discussing the next surgical plan.

"When will the surgery be possible?" Fu Younian thought he was in a calm mood, because he had been looking forward to it repeatedly, and he had rehearsed this day in his heart. Occasionally, when he dreamed at night, he would dream that Yu Xi would recover after the surgery.

But when he opened his mouth, he realized that his voice was still a little unstable.

"The current condition of the patient is relatively stable, and the operation can be scheduled early next month if there is no accident," the doctor said to him, "During this period, we must pay attention to nursing care, so as not to have infection allergies, and other problems that disturb the blood picture. "

The doctor hesitated to speak again.

When Fu Younian was about to leave, Yang Queming's mother left the meeting room with him in a white coat.

"You still have to be mentally prepared," Yang Queming's mother raised her hand and patted him on the back. "The success rate of the operation is not high. His body... is too prone to problems after surgery, secondary malignant tumors and so on, or whether there will be sudden heavy bleeding during the operation, are unknown.”

After Fu Younian returned to the ward, he told Yu Xi about the surgery, but he didn't mention the success rate.

Yu Xi just finished eating by himself, he was taken aback when he heard it, and then smiled at him.

Yu Xi actually thought of it.

He knows his own body best.

He has never been as persistent as Fu Younian in finding bone marrow, because occasionally he feels that this is not bad, he cannot have surgery, and has spent more than half a year relying on daily treatment.But if he had surgery, he would probably die straight away in the operating room.

Maybe there was no time to say a word to Fu Younian, and they separated suddenly like that.

But he also wanted to try that hopeless possibility for him.

After the operation plan is determined, the family members need to sign the consent form for the operation.

When the nurse came over with the thin sheets of paper, Yu Xi leaned over and looked at them with Fu Younian, and then asked hesitantly, "Sister, can my boyfriend sign it?"

"This...may not work." The nurse looked at him in embarrassment.

Fu Younian is not qualified to sign for him.

The nurse first left the operation consent form for them, and asked Yu Xi and other family members to come and sign.

Seeing her go out and close the door, Yu Xi sat down next to Fu Younian, wrapped his wrist around to hold Fu Younian's hand, and squeezed together on the narrow sofa with him, turning his head Leaning on Fu Younian's shoulder, playing with his slender and strong fingers.

It was not the first time that Fu Younian accompanied his family members to undergo an operation, but it was the first time he saw the consent form for the operation.

After all, he hadn't even started high school when his parents had the surgery.

He lowered his head and carefully read all the precautions again.

Then suddenly a little wet on the fingertips.

Looking down, he found that Yu Xi suddenly burst into tears, his eyes were red, and he secretly wiped his tears with the cloth on his shoulders.But every time he cried, he couldn't hold it back, so the tears still flowed down, all falling on the back of his hand.

"Baby, why are you crying?" Fu Younian kissed the wet marks on the corners of his eyes, and wiped away his tears with his fingertips.

Yu Xi also knew that it was against the regulations, even if he and Fu Younian had their own wedding and got married, Fu Younian still couldn't sign the surgery consent for him.

But he really wanted Fu Younian to sign it for him.

I don't know why the more I think about it, the sadder it becomes. Before I realized it, tears suddenly fell down.

Holding those few pages, Fu Younian felt that every type on it was dazzling and hot to the touch. He scanned all possible accidents during and after the operation, and the more he looked at it, the more shocking he became.

Finally understood why he saw his mother sign the surgery consent form outside the operating room many years ago, why she cried so much that she couldn't even stand still, every word she signed was trembling and blurred, and several copies were ruined before she finally put down the pen .

Fu Younian stretched out his arms to hug Yu Xi, hugged him tightly, rubbed his hair, then lowered his head to kiss his forehead, the corners of his eyes, and his wet cheeks from crying.

"Obviously it's the same for my husband to sign for me." Yu Xi sniffed and said in a low voice, and shed a few more tears after speaking.

Fu Younian kissed him forcefully, held his hand and bowed his head and said to him: "Then my husband will ask again, okay?"

Fu Younian wiped away his tears before picking up the consent form for the operation and walking out.

It is the hospital's policy to require family members to sign for major operations. Fu Younian didn't want to embarrass the hospital, so he just asked Yang Queming's mother.

"Auntie, can I sign a copy too?" Fu Younian knocked on the door of the consulting room a few times and asked her, "Then show Xiaoyu what I signed."

After hearing the news that the bone marrow had been found, Mr. Yu rushed to the hospital, and Yu Xi's grandma also came. They ignored each other and sat far apart in the consultation room.

Yang Queming's mother is not easy to talk to, after all the biggest shareholder of this hospital is Yu's family.

Mr. Yu was reluctant, but he knew that since Fu Younian came here, it must be Yu Xi's idea, so he acquiesced after hesitating.

Yu Xi felt that he was a little unreasonable, but he couldn't leave the ward casually now, so he could only wait anxiously for Fu Younian to come back.

He didn't expect Fu Younian to sign for him, and he was a little happy.

Although he also understands that he is probably lying to him.

But still couldn't help laughing.

Before the curve of the corner of the mouth fell, tears fell down again, wet the thin pages, and almost blurred the name written by Fu Younian, Yu Xi quickly wiped it with his fingertips.Holding the consent form for the operation, he felt inexplicably holding a marriage certificate.

During the two weeks of preparation before the operation, Fu Younian could only accompany him outside the isolation ward. The daily visit time was very short, and he often felt that he was urged to leave by the nurse not long after entering.

Yu Xi wanted to leave something for Fu Younian.

He went to the doctor several times, and he never lowered his head in his life. It may be the first time he had a little pleading in his tone, and the doctor told him that the success rate of the operation may be less than [-]%.

If it fails, the time they can stay together will not add up to one day.

Yu Xi asked Zhou Xiaochi to come over and give him the notebook, and then went up to search it every day when he was free.

One week before the surgery, Yu Xi applied to go home for a day.

"Want to accompany grandpa?" Fu Younian thought at first that Yu Xi wanted to go with him, but Yu Xi said that he wanted to go back to grandpa, "Can I go with you?"

"I can go by myself, and I will come back at night." Yu Xi said to him.

Fu Younian didn't insist anymore, and Yu Xi also has family members, so it's understandable that he wants to stay with them for a while.

"Then be careful, don't bump into it." Fu Younian told him.

If injured, firstly, Yu Xi's platelets are too low, it is difficult to stop the bleeding, and secondly, it is easy to cause infection.

"Got it," Yu Xi heard him say it many times, before leaving he kicked his calf and complained to himself, "You are so annoying."

Fu Younian heard it anyway, reached out to grab him by the back collar and carried him into his arms, messed up his hair before letting him go.

Yu Xi stayed home for a day.

He was in a hurry, except for eating, he almost never went downstairs, and kept the door closed.

Old man Yu swayed upstairs several times with his hands behind his back, leaned over to listen through the door, heard him talking all the time, but couldn't make out what he was saying, and ignored him.

In a blink of an eye, it was the day before the surgery.

Many people came to the hospital to see Yu Xi, Fu Ying and Fu Le also came, but only Fu Ying entered the ward.

She talked to Yu Xi for a while, and when she was about to leave, Yu Xi reached out and grabbed her sleeve.

Yu Xi hesitated about whom to trouble, but finally decided to find someone from Uncle Fu Younian's family.

But he didn't dare to look for Fu Younian's uncles and aunts, for fear that they would be upset, and Fu Le seemed unreliable, so he could only ask Fu Ying.

"Sister, if I...do not succeed in the operation tomorrow," Yu Xi's face was pale, his fingertips were cold, and he could see the conspicuous light blue blood vessels on the back of his hand when he lowered his head. , can you give this to Fu Younian for me?"

Fu Ying took it and found that it was several CDs.

"This is a backup." Yu Xi was worried that there would be a problem with the disc, so he saved a few more copies in the USB flash drive.

Fu Ying took everything away.

She guessed that it was probably the last words, put her hand in the pocket of her jacket, touched the cold edge of the disc, her eyes suddenly filled with mist.But she held back and didn't cry, she couldn't shed tears in front of Yu Xi.

"Thank you." Yu Xi said to her.

Fu Ying wanted to speak, but her throat felt sore, she finally didn't speak, but just shook her head.

Fu Younian sent Fu Ying and the others downstairs.

Fu Ying was the last to walk. She saw her parents and younger brother got into the car and was about to pass, but was stopped by Fu Younian with her head bowed.

"Did he give you anything just now?" Fu Younian asked her.

Fu Ying was very hesitant. She felt that it should not be given to Fu Younian. After all, Yu Xi told her that the surgery was not successful. If it was successful, of course these things would be useless.

"I want to see it." Fu Younian said to her almost pleadingly.

Fu Ying still handed it to him.

Family members can't stay at night, there will be doctors and nurses to observe Yu Xi's condition throughout the whole process, and make sure that his indexes in all aspects have been kept at the baseline before tomorrow's operation.

Fu Younian went home first.

In total darkness, he inserted the disc into the player.

Until he leaned over to do this action, he didn't feel very uncomfortable in his heart, it was more like a blank, all thoughts and emotions were settled deep down, but when the screen turned on, even though he Before he could see anything clearly, the sockets of his eyes suddenly became sour, and tears almost fell down.

Yu Xi should have recorded it in Mr. Yu's room. The curtains in the background look familiar to Fu Younian.

There are hundreds of small videos on that CD, and there is an audio at the end.

At the beginning of recording the first one, he was still a little shy, hugging the snow-white plush puppy Fu Younian gave him, covering half of his face, only showing the tip of his fair nose and a pair of eyes.

"Hmm...brother," Yu Xi seemed a little confused about what to call him, and paused for a few seconds at the beginning, "Today is your birthday, but I can't spend it with you this year, I'm sorry. I bought you a gift, it should be soon It will be delivered home."

Fu Younian just saw that each video had the year, month, and day marked, but now he noticed that most of them were his birthday, and the rest included New Year's Eve, only the last audio was not marked.

"Before you said that you would go climbing snow-capped mountains together in the future, I bought a pair of hiking shoes. I don't know if you like it or not." Yu Xi was a little apprehensive, but after he finished speaking, he was a little fierce, "There's nothing you can do if you don't like it, anyway. I gave it to you, you want to wear it."

Yu Xi lowered his head and talked to him a lot again, asking him to remember to eat well at night, not to drink all the time, to go home early after drinking, and not to drive by himself.

Finally said to him: "Happy birthday, brother, I hope you are happy every day."

Fu Younian chose the automatic play mode.

Next came the New Year, and Yu Xi went out of his way to find a cotton padded jacket that he wore in winter. In the hot summer, he wore so many clothes that his cheeks were flushed with boredom.

"Happy New Year, brother," Yu Xi said to him, holding a few boxes of handmade chocolates in his hand, "Have you bought any candy for the New Year? I asked someone to make chocolate for you. It's a bit bitter. Hei Qiao, I remember you like to eat."

Fu Younian felt a little helpless to watch it anymore, it was the first time he could feel the beating of his heart so clearly.

The more vigorous and rapid it was, the more his chest seemed to be split open, and warm blood flowed back into his heart.

He used to sit on the rug, leaning against the sofa behind him, with one knee raised and his wrist resting on it.The little black cat kept pulling his arm with the meat pad, but Fu Younian remained motionless.

"Brother, it's your 30th birthday this year. I've been thinking about what gift to buy for you for a long time, but I didn't think it was good, so I just bought one." Yu Xi said to him with some embarrassment, "Then I will give If you sing a song, it may not sound very good."

Yu Xi reached out and took the guitar from the bed behind him, and sang him a birthday song.

Yu Xi was really worried about what gifts to buy, and he became more and more entangled as time went on, after all, there were too few things that could be kept for ten or even decades and still look like new.

But singing every year is nothing new.

In addition to these gifts, he also entrusted a flower shop to give Fu Younian a bouquet of white camellias and a bouquet of roses every year on his birthday.Usually, you can also send some small green plants, such as geraniums, baby's breath, or succulents that are easy to feed. After all, Fu Younian is always away from home.

He prepared dozens of years for him, flowers all year round.

Then he asked Solo to find a friend who is good at computer programs, put a small program into his account, tied it with a card, and sent Fu Younian a birthday red envelope every year on this day.

"Do you want to make a note of something?" the friend asked Yu Xi at that time.

Yu Xi thought for a while, and only asked him to note a small blue fish.

"Brother, I don't know if the weather is good today. I guess you are going to the film festival again." Yu Xi was a little tired after sitting for a long time, moved the camera a little lower, and then propped his chin and said to him, "When you come back, you have to take care of yourself." Rest, I bought you a very soft polar bear puppet, the size of a snowball, I don’t know if you like it, but because I saw it and liked it, I bought it for you.”

Fu Younian's eyes were blurred, and he felt something wet dripping down his cheeks.

"You have to hug it, don't put it aside and leave it alone, just like hugging me." Yu Xi said.

Yu Xi was very conflicted, he didn't know whether he should give Fu Younian these things, no matter what he did, he was afraid that he would be sad, afraid that he would really wait so stubbornly for him all his life, for such a long time, that he would feel alone.

He couldn't even give him a sound, or even an ordinary hug.

But he was also afraid that Fu Younian would miss him when he saw these things. He was afraid that he had already left and became a memory that would gradually fade, but would occupy his life in every possible way.

Fu Younian couldn't give up.

He couldn't make a choice, and in the end he was somewhat selfish and cruel, and left this choice to Fu Younian.

As long as Fu Younian no longer needs it, everything he pre-ordered can be terminated at the same time, whether it is a gift that has already been bought and is just waiting to be delivered to Fu Younian, or those swaying and rooting flowers, or the flowers with his name on them. Remarks red envelope.

These discs can be destroyed or put in a corner, never to be pulled out again.

Let Fu Younian decide for himself, he can choose the least painful way.

Yu Xi's remaining time is extremely short, he can only do this step.

"It's New Year's Day again, happy new year, brother." In the second half of the video, Yu Xi also found an exaggerated fake beard, and he talked next to him, and the snow-white wisps followed the slight airflow when he spoke Shaking back and forth, looking silly.

Yu Xi may have noticed it himself, but he raised his beard and looked even more wrong, and finally he could only bite the bullet and continue talking angrily.

"I bought you a new pair of frames. I think you might like them. They are the kind that can be hung up and don't have to be worn all the time." Yu Xi even held them in his hand to demonstrate to him, but he didn't know that Fu You Whether the prescription of the eyes will increase after getting old, so Fu Younian has to adjust the lenses himself.

This was probably a gift from Fu Younian when he was six or seventy years old.

There are many more videos later, Fu Younian didn't watch any more.

He played it almost from beginning to end, as if Yu Xi had really been with him for the rest of his life, even though it was in such a way.But at least he didn't leave him, Yu Xi didn't lie to him, no matter when, as long as he is willing to look back, he will always be there.

Fu Younian clicked on the last audio directly.

"Brother, I don't know which year you saw the video and which year you received the gift," Yu Xi said, "I think you can keep it, remember me all the time, and want you to forget me earlier, Get rid of those things.

"If you have forgotten me, I am really happy, whether there is anyone around you now. I hope he can treat you as well as you used to treat me. You are the best I have ever met People. If no one takes care of you yet, you have to take care of yourself. You can think of me once in a while, and I will miss you too."

Yu Xi originally wanted to record these few videos, but his eyes were already red and swollen, and he couldn't get rid of them no matter how much he applied them, he didn't want Fu Younian to see them.

Even for the audio, he recorded it many times repeatedly. In just a few minutes, he spent almost the whole night, staying up until the sky was bright.As long as there is a slight vibrato or hoarseness, I delete it and record it again. Finally, I chose this one among the dozens of recorded versions.

His tone was very calm, and even a faint smile could be heard in his words.

It's like reaching the end of everything, that kind of ease and relief.

"If it's really the end and you haven't forgotten me, then I have one more thing to tell you."

Fu Younian leaned back on the sofa, raised his hand to cover his eyes, the back of his hand was soon wet.His shoulders trembled imperceptibly, scaring the little black cat next to him. After a long jump, he hid behind the sofa cushion and observed him vigilantly with those amber cat eyes.

Yu Xi repeated these few words hundreds of times that night, without feeling bored.

他 说:

"Fu Younian, I love you.

I love you. "

The author has something to say: I decided on this paragraph when I was writing the outline in August, and I pushed it to this place from the beginning, and finally wrote it

感谢在2020-12-1000:44:14~2020-12-1122:03:56期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angel who threw mines:. 1;

Thank you to the little angels who irrigate the nutrient solution: 5 bottles of synchronized paddling athletes, who want to eat meat;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!