[Football] A man's paper with his own blush skills

LanguageLanguage

When it comes to language issues, I have to mention how Boa hooked up with the little expert back then, and how he used Portuguese to provoke the conversation, and then he got to know the big brother today.Leaving aside the issue of academic qualifications, just talking about languages, Baoer has already dominated the football world, including coaches and all staff.

Such a great advantage, the British media also took it out to boast about it.The famous people who come out now include celebrities. Once the information is released and they claim to know a few languages, the British media will definitely jump out and say in a casual tone, oh, what a coincidence, our British Boer can speak more than ten countries language!Don't think that you are proficient just because you can ask the way, we Bao'er can communicate proficiently!

I don't know if it's fake fans and real sunspots who pull so much hatred.But in any case, Bao'er also took advantage of this aspect.

For example, China, a big Asian country that can speak its own language, is particularly preferred.

During Manchester United's trip to China, every member of the team could speak a few words of standard Mandarin, except for Bao'er, especially Big Brother and Lu Fat.

At the fan meeting, players talked one by one, and when they came to the big brother, they began to change their style of painting.

"Hi everyone, I am the muscle man of Manchester United, the domineering president Cristiano Ronaldo!"

The fans died of laughter, and the host didn't hold back.Everyone on the earth knows that the Chinese teacher of Manchester United is Bao'er. Ask Bao'er, how did Ronaldo offend you? You are the overbearing president with muscles. We can talk about it in private. Ronaldo knows what you teach. what do you mean?

Bao'er is very calm, and the elder brother is also very calm.

The big brother thinks his muscles are very beautiful, what's wrong with Manchester United?He feels that he can represent the entire football world, and he is already very humble.Let's talk about the domineering president, he is the president in the first place, his company is running well, his whole body is full of domineering style, it couldn't be more accurate!

When the big brother said this, the fans wanted to laugh even more. Why does it feel more funny than Ronaldo being deceived by Baoer? !

Bao'er took the microphone and said lightly, saying that if I don't teach him to say domineering president, should I teach him to say Luo Daihua?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

The fans were dying of laughter. Many people couldn't sit still and slid directly on the ground. What a mess!

When it was Lu Pang's turn, the fans fell to the ground again as soon as they sat down firmly.

"Hello, I'm the Fuwa of Manchester United, Lu Pang, the heavy-handed player!"

What the hell is Fuwa!

What the hell is Fatty Lu!

With the senior brother in front, the laughter of the audience did not arouse Lu Fat's vigilance.But in fact, he was the one who was deceived, thinking that Rooney's pronunciation was Lu Fat...

The fans had already collapsed and couldn't get up. The host covered his stomach and pursed his mouth tightly, not daring to speak, and wanted to spray as soon as he opened his mouth. Mama Mia, the baby died of laughter!

Afterwards, will Lu Fatty have an idea to find out what Fuwa looks like, and will fans comment on the difference between Kopru Fatty and Rooney...

Baoer said that our friendship will last forever, and we will not be sadomasochistic because of a simple sentence!

married

If you count the time when Bao'er gave the ring, the couple have been engaged for more than ten years. Seeing that they are going to retire together, they didn't even have an engagement ceremony.Can't you just get married?

Bao'er doesn't care, but the elder brother is not reconciled, he always feels that every cell of his body is full of romance, and wishes for a century-old engagement, a cosmic wedding.

The engagement ring is given by the daughter-in-law, or it is ancestral, which is very precious.Even if there is only one person left in a family, as long as there are items that have been passed down for more than three generations, they are priceless.

Opened the safe, took out the ring full of history and looked at it again and again, the senior brother was worried.

How about using one ring for both wedding and engagement?

You can buy those with the same value, but you can’t buy those with feelings and inheritance. What should I do?I'm so worried about baby Luo!

Generally, engagement rings are luxurious and wedding rings are modest, since wedding rings are meant to be worn every day.

For C-local tyrant-love to swipe cards-overbearing president-Luo, the word simplicity is a galaxy away from him, and he never thought of it.He thought about surpassing the engagement ring in value, and surpassing the engagement ring in emotion, so as to highlight the sanctity of marriage and its supreme status in his heart.

After pondering and pondering, the elder brother has an idea!

He secretly asked Mendez for help, entered a university, and sat in on courses related to precious metal production and jewelry design.He has great ambitions in his chest, and he still wants to surprise his wife. If mining is not too difficult, he would like to start processing stones until the ring is formed.

Bao'er knew everything well, he threw aside the wedding planning he was planning, hehe, Ronaldo that fool, when he makes a ring with his own hands, it's likely that both of them will be in menopause!Other people's homes are 'marriage is the tomb of love', but to his home it is 'the ring is the tomb of marriage'!

neck

There are a lot of ribbons in the nightstand over there by the elder brother.

There are all kinds of colors, all kinds of patterns, hollow ones, lace trims, not to mention hundreds of pieces, there must be 99 pieces.

Because of the love for his neck, the big brother takes care of his neck more than his face!

Who made his wife love his neck the most!

?(????ω????)?

Whether it is hugging with arms, pinching legs, or kissing, the elder brother's neck is the object of special care.

So much so that the elder brother has a little fun that he is particularly willing to play, and it is also Bao'er's favorite little fun.

Whenever the atmosphere is right, the elder brother will romantically take out a ribbon, tie a bow around his neck, and give himself as a gift to his wife.Bao'er is also willing to enjoy the process of unwrapping presents.The prodigal couple can't stop and get tired of their flirting.A pattern can be played for several years.

Occasionally, Bao'er would complain, saying that you gave yourself to me yesterday, and gave it to me again today, what do you want to do?If you sell yourself like you, the traffickers will be Forbes in the morning.

The elder brother was very confident, saying that what I gave yesterday was my descendants yesterday, and what I gave today are today’s descendants!

Bao'er said: "Children and grandchildren are infinitely deficient" originally meant this! (sudden realization face)

The ribbon means that it also has something to say, if you send it to your children and grandchildren, do you want me to move a place to tie it up?On behalf of the majority of Ribbon compatriots, I really want to change to a finer place...

Opera Opera

When the elder brother was in Guoguoya, because of the hype and gossip, he met a certain girl named Yi Lianna, who was called Yi Ye by people in the Jianghu.The two have a compatible personality and soon became friends. The two sides have reached a friendly cooperation. I wish each other a successful career!

Under the arrangement of the agents of both parties, the two met to go to the opera.

What Mendes means is that it doesn’t need to be too much, just one time, and it will be over as soon as the media shoots it, and it will not be admitted if asked later.

The elder brother frowned and said that I understand your arrangement, and I have reported it to Bao'er, but I just don't understand why I went to the opera?Mendes, do you understand the truth?

Mendes said in his heart that I don't understand, but what's your business?With a clear cough, Mendes said that this is all to impress you!understand?Compelling!Why don't you mix in the fashion circle?Yesterday you went out wearing a pair of pink pants!The day before yesterday you celebrated your goal and danced in the square!

The elder brother frowned even tighter, saying, don't fool me, my wife will dance the square dance for me, pretend I don't know?I'm Brazilian pop, what do you know?

If you don't understand, and you can't resist, the big brother obediently accompanied his one-time girlfriend to the opera.

The two wore gowns as if they were walking a red carpet, and entered the theater, the atmosphere was still very harmonious.

The eldest brother took the time to send a message with his mobile phone, complaining to his wife about Mendes' unreasonableness.Bao'er understands the elder brother very well, and reminds him thousands of times, don't fall asleep, you will lose the chain when you fall asleep!If you fall asleep and get photographed, it can blackmail you for the rest of your life!Hold on, I'll get you two tickets to Beyoncé's concert later, and go to listen to popular songs again!

The big brother was Shun Mao, and he was ready to be an actor down-to-earth, and he must act like an opera lover.

Jelena is a beauty, a dedicated model and a smart person.If she said she didn't have any thoughts about the elder brother, she wouldn't believe it!

The big brother is so awesome now, all the cows in Spain have to go to heaven to express one or two.

He needs to be talented, good-looking, self-made, self-made, rich and inspiring, and he is in tune with himself when it comes to key chats. The more he thinks about Elena, the more tempted he is. Why don't you take the initiative?Fake come true?

Turning her head secretly to take a look, Yi Lianna's heart skipped a beat.

When the elder brother sent the message, his expression was soft and outrageous, as if he sucked the sunshine of Madrid into his eyes, and then warmed it to the other end through his mobile phone...

Smart women don't make fools.

Yi Lianna calmed down, and began to be like the big brother, a professional actor with upper body.It's just that the big brother plays the opera lover, and Irina plays the role of Ronaldo's ambiguous person.

At the end of the song, Yi Lianna wiped the corners of her eyes that were wet from being moved by the opera, looked at the same moist eyes of the elder brother, and sighed secretly, why didn't she call because of such a good time?

After the two separated, the eldest brother called his wife and said, baby, you don't know, I was so sleepy that tears almost came out!

......

Sometimes it's not that the fate didn't come, it's just that there is someone who is more in tune with you than you.

penny penny

The big brother is a local tyrant, a godly tyrant, and a prodigal.It's not that he only buys expensive ones, not the right ones.It's just that the ones he likes happen to be expensive.

For Baoer, who has been earning money to support his family, and has such a 'noble' vision for his own man, it can only be said that this is a sad story, a story of an inspirational young man working hard to succeed in his career and finally settle the bills... Bar.

But Bao'er didn't expect that the elder brother had spent half of his life, and when he was about 40 or [-], he turned into an iron rooster!

I still remember when Xiao Qiao got married for the first time... Bah!

I still remember that at the beginning, the elder brother vowed to make money with his wife, and eventually surpass his own father and become a rich generation, and he was determined not to be a rich second generation.Seeing that it was only a few thousand pounds short of the amount of property that his father entered into Forbes at that time, the senior brother was excited.

The specific performance is outrageous!

The day when the accountants of the two of them counted their property as usual, happened to be one month before Baoer's birthday.The two of them can't earn a few thousand pounds in a month?Unless it's hell!However, don't forget that the two still have expenses!

Because of his daughter-in-law's birthday, the eldest brother booked a private jet half a year in advance, and half of the payment was delivered.Just wait for the process to end, the final payment.

Because it is in the summer break, Manchester United wants to buy people. As the original prince and now the real boss, Boer still has to pay the club to buy people from his wallet.

Two things that are usually very ordinary, concentrated in one month, concentrated in one month when the goal of half-life struggle is about to be achieved, this is not an ordinary thing.

Fan Er, who is usually a domineering president, is carrying it. Even if he handles the company's affairs, he is basically a big brother who signs and signs. It is the first time that an accountant sits on the ground with a dozen calculators beside him. Crackling keys.

Counting my own business income, my daughter-in-law's copyright fees and so on, hey, the income and expenditure can barely make up a balance.

Now as long as the throttling is under control, it will be fine, and it will definitely be done before the daughter-in-law's birthday. At that time, this birthday gift should not be too good! !

~ (≧ ▽ ≦) / ~

Eldest brother is happy, Bao'er's hard days are coming!

Bao'er also lived for hundreds of years to realize that the difference between a local tyrant and an iron rooster is actually just a thought.

Resolutely don't drive when going out, save gas and money, and take the subway with all kinds of make-up, if it doesn't work, call Lu Fatty to ask for support.Poor Lu Fatty is completely bald and failed to get rid of this hooligan couple, and he is still being bullied.

What kind of imported food do you eat when you eat?What kind of steak do you want?What do you eat with foie gras and big snails?If you have bread, you can get it. How can you starve to death?

This is what the elder brother really thinks. Of course, he is being mean to himself. Bao'er still has preferential treatment. He has two more slices of ham than the elder brother...

The latest brand-name clothes of the month are delivered to the home, and the bill is settled at the end of the month according to the rules.It has been a habit for many years, and the elder brother is too embarrassed to tell others, I am now an iron cock, you should stop for a month...

It doesn't matter, the big brother has a magic weapon, the big brother called the little Chris, and said shit, it's time for Daddy to need your contribution!

Little Chris-Real player-Fake singer-Current Little Red Man-Son inherits his father's career-Ronaldo is at Manchester United in a daze, aliens have invaded the earth?My father actually changed his surname to Grandet?

Bao'er: That's where it goes, your dad is saving phone bills now!It's okay to send information on the Internet...

So many things to do.

After a month of liveliness and excitement, the iron rooster hadn't even lost its rust. At ten o'clock that night, the elder brother picked up the calculator again.

┭┮﹏┭┮

"Daughter-in-law, five pence short...┭┮﹏┭┮!!!"

Madam Grandet, who had changed her surname for a month, was chewing dry bread, and when she heard what the elder brother said, she slapped the dry bread on the elder brother's face very simply: I'm fucking calling you dead!

Thinking of the miserable life this month, Bao'er can't wait to knead her own man into bread crumbs, what a bear!

(Dad smiles in heaven: fivepence beats you! David Geffen is invincible!)

Religion religion, faith

After retiring from the military, there was nothing to worry about, so the elder brother became interested in learning foreign languages.The first thing to overcome is the Chinese language.Not for anything else, the main reason is that there are so many young fans in this country, and they are so enthusiastic that they want to give birth to monkeys for him every now and then.The elder brother felt that since he could not contribute his kidney function, at least he could learn the language of fans and communicate without barriers, so that he could express his heart to repay the fans.

Bao'er was busy with his new career and had no time to teach him at home, so he bought him a bunch of basic textbooks and let him fend for himself.

People are not as good as God.

Unexpectedly, relying on the language proficiency of the kindergarten class and the fluent English communication, the big brother just broke into the inside of the Chinese network and became a big Chinese netizen... There are still forums, IDs, and senior members...

It is a place for foreigners to communicate and learn Chinese. Of course, you have to understand that not all members are foreigners, and there are many "crooked nuts" played by native folks who watch the fun and jokes.

Just like the Chinese learn English by watching American dramas, I don’t know who is so blind, so I recommend a lot of Chinese TV dramas for foreign friends to learn in depth.What "Country Love Story", what "Huan Zhu Ge Ge", what "Pleasant Goat and Big Big Wolf", the most important thing is that there is a "Deer and Ding Tale" in Baoer's heart, and the most important thing is, big brother There is a good habit, to do something or not to do it, to do it well... So, he read it all...

all... see... see...

Shenlong Sect, Wei Xiaobao, Lichun Courtyard, all the wives who are big and small, fat, swallows and thin...

If Bao'er was present, he would not hesitate to expend his spiritual power to use the magic way to curse Dafa-----------Who the hell has that Martian time and can also translate bilingually! ! !

who!Come on!Master Dao cut you alive!

Bao'er, who was finally able to relax after a busy month, found out that it was too late.

Now change your mouth and say that it was all a joke before, okay? ---------- Bao'er has no face to love.

The big brother asked Bo'er expressionlessly.

"Great Dragon Cult?"

"Lord God Wei Xiaobao?"

"Doctrine is loyalty?"

Bao'er's expression remained motionless, unfathomable, and she cried like a dog in her heart.

The senior brother raised his brows, and the table trembled with a 'snap'.

"Where is the screenwriter, dare to slander our beliefs!"

"I know that our religion is a minority, but truth, goodness and beauty are true! You see, the older we are, the better our health is, and the kidney water is getting more and more abundant. The medicine I made is better than a booster!"

"This bastard's screenwriter is actually such a black god, I hate him so much!!"

Bao'er was overjoyed and filled with righteous indignation.

Grandpa Jin Yong, I'm sorry for you. Before going to bed at night, Bao'er prayed devoutly, hoping that the suzerain of the Great Acacia Sect would bless Grandpa Jin Yong to live a more energetic life and Wei Xiaobao to live forever.

The author has something to say: Oh my god, it’s [-] chapters, I’m startled, the stupid green onion thought there was a system error, there are so many chapters before I know it... I’m a little excited~~~~~┑ (￣Д￣)┍