calm to light

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Don't worry that I didn't let Lingrong sleep, but Yazi thinks a sentence makes sense, "You can endure loneliness for a long time."

I was put on the dragon couch, and I was the only one in the Hall of Mental Cultivation. When the palace people retreated, someone told me that the emperor was still reviewing the memorial, but it came in a while, so I waited patiently.What I saw when I opened my eyes was not the bright yellow roof, but the white sheets.I was tightly wrapped up, and the breath I exhaled was always blocked back to my face, and the fluff from the quilt was on my nose. It was itchy, and I couldn't help it. It's really uncomfortable to push it away.However, after a while I didn't feel the itching was uncomfortable, just because I tasted more painful sensations.

Originally, the tingling pain in my stomach disappeared when I was placed on the Longtao, but my stomach was warm and swollen. I thought it was the effect of the medicine, so I ignored it, but I didn’t want my lower abdomen to start ache.It was only faint at first, but it didn't take long before it gradually turned into a severe pain, as if a hand was wreaking havoc in my abdomen, trying to mess me up and destroy me from the inside.The pain made me clench my teeth, gave me chills, and blurred my vision.I didn't dare to make a sound, I didn't know why I was so panicked, I just covered my stomach with my cold hands, resisting the thought of curling up and crying, hoping that this pain would pass sooner, and that the emperor would come later, so that I could Let me whitewash the peace.

Maybe I was lucky, the pain finally passed before the emperor came. When I heard footsteps, I felt someone lying down next to me, and those hands, which were warmer than mine, were covering my body. When my cheeks were lifted up by my feet, I couldn't adapt to the bright yellow bed curtain that suddenly appeared in front of me, and my vision was a little hazy.

"Why is it so cold? Are you afraid?" I shook my head subconsciously, and the slight movement made the person next to me chuckle, "If you're not afraid, why don't you dare to look at me?"

By my side is the emperor, at this moment, I dare not look at him at all, yes, I am afraid, even a little bit of timidity cannot conceal the essence of my fear, but running away is not my style.

Turning my head slowly, I slowly opened my eyes and saw the emperor's hand, a man's hand, generous but like jade, is more beautiful than a woman's, this hand once pulled me to prevent myself from falling to the ground.Further up is the chest of the emperor's acquaintance, on which the golden dragon can soar through the nine clouds.Neck, Adam's apple, this is the emperor, and he will be her man tonight. Thinking of this, she feels chills all over her body. She doesn't know whether it's because of fear or nervousness. There is no trace of age on her chin. Her thin lips are slightly curved, and her smile has warmed up. Sharp, with a straight nose that is indescribably good-looking, and his eyes are also smiling. He is looking at me, but I don't think he is. With a smile, I hesitate to say, "Your Majesty."

The smile remained undiminished, and he slowly approached me. His condescending aura made me close my eyes subconsciously, not daring to look at myself who was getting clearer and clearer in his eyes. I only felt that the bridge of his nose was touching mine. The breath I exhaled sprayed on my face, which was very similar to the feeling I had when I was lying alone in the quilt just now. It was itchy, maybe it was a psychological effect, and I began to feel my stomach twitching again, and my heart was even more stuffy. panicked.

He took a few deep breaths from the corner of my mouth, as if smelling something nice, he exhaled with satisfaction, and said, "Your scent is very unique, have you taken the medicine?" I didn't look back for a while. God, I didn't understand whether he was asking or making a statement, but before I could answer, he asked again, "Is there something wrong with your body?" Was he asking if the medicine would do me any harm?His question reminded me of the pain just now, and I felt even more uncomfortable now. Although I disliked his meaningless pretense of Guan Hua, I still pretended to be flattered and replied, "The concubine is fine."

It's okay, it's just a psychological effect, I'm fine, but the bad premonition in my heart is too strong, is it really just an illusion?Why do I feel like it's a little slippery between my legs?really all right?Why is the cramping in the lower abdomen getting worse?Is it really just a psychological effect?Why do I feel a heat gushing out of my body, and there is also a smell of blood?

I was in so much pain that I couldn't even hide it, but he noticed it, "Are you bleeding?" I was really bleeding!The continuous flow of heat out of my body seemed to take away my strength bit by bit, and it was considered to be bleeding. With this amount of bleeding, plus the fact that the emperor can still smell the fragrance of medicine in the strong smell of sesame oil With a keen sense of smell, he probably already smelled blood.It must be that I have my menstruation, but for some reason, my menstruation has always been on time earlier.And the pain in the abdomen, this feeling is too familiar, it is not dysmenorrhea, very severe dysmenorrhea, but I didn’t expect that I could not sleep on the dragon bed because of early menstruation, I don’t know what will happen to me... "What's the matter?" His voice sounded so far away when he was in pain, but the coldness in his words was so obvious that I could still hear a few traces of clarity. When I opened my eyes, I saw the coldness on his face, His eyes stared straight at me, his thin lips parted slightly, "What medicine did you drink?"

It's a good thing he didn't wait for my answer, otherwise I really wouldn't be able to say something like "Your Majesty, my concubine's confinement is coming." It's just that he asked what medicine he took?Isn't it the medicine he rewarded?He himself is not the clearest.I was so painful that I went crazy, and I was really a bit crazy when I heard him say that, and I laughed out of spite. I didn't have much strength, and I laughed softly and intermittently, whether I was laughing at him for asking what he knew or I didn't know what to say , But it's really strange that he wasn't as angry as I thought, didn't even blame me, or just didn't want to pay attention to me, got up and left by himself, and gave me the bed instead.After a while, the maid came in and put on my inner clothes casually, gave me a robe, and perfunctorily helped me up, saying that the emperor had already gone to Suiyuxuan and let me go back by myself.I looked at the bright red blood on the bed through the maids who were busy tidying up. It turned out that I had shed so much blood. Although it was not my intention, it was also disrespectful. I'm just going back.Also, the bed is dirty, no wonder he is going to Suiyuxuan, Suiyuxuan, such an elegant place, and there are beauties waiting, Zhen Huan must be very surprised... But, where are my shoes?The maids didn't give it to me. Seeing that they probably don't have time to talk to me, they just forget it. Finally, there are still sedan chairs outside.The coldness of walking barefoot for a while can still be persisted.

The blood was still bleeding, and I slipped and fell to my ankle and somehow stopped. I endured the pain and walked alone, and all the palace people turned a blind eye to me.Only the fathers-in-law who carried the Fengluan Chunen car outside the door saw me coming out and said, "My lord can't sit in this Fengluan Chunen car now, I can't bear the crime of dirtying this sedan chair, so I'd better leave." Go back." Before I could respond, they carried the sedan chair and left.Watching them go away, I thought, yes, I am almost in the same state of blood collapse now, I am afraid that the sedan chair I sit on will not be usable, what should I do for the person who will sleep in the future?Oh, I was lucky, I came out and saw them before they left, otherwise I would not know where the sedan chair went, and I might be confused and delayed. Fortunately, now that I know, I just walk back.

Walking on the road, it was still a winter night, I was really cold, my stomach hurt, and the blood started to flow again, I wrapped my clothes tightly, thinking that these clothes could absorb some blood, I don’t want to go where I will walk tomorrow The bloodstains along the way made people's eyes dirty. It was too bad, and my head started to hurt. If I didn't go back soon, I was going to be sick again.If I'm sick... Sister Mei will be worried...she will definitely be worried, I have to go back quickly, go back quickly and take care of it, I can't get sick anymore.

Along the way, the air-conditioning is transmitted directly from the floor to my heart through the soles of my feet. The strange thing is that I don’t feel very cold anymore. I just feel that my feet are a little dirty and my body is a little dirty. I really want to take a bath. It’s best to take a cold shower, otherwise I still don’t feel cold. I was a little afraid that the hot water would scald my already cold self. Fortunately, I live in Yanxi Palace, which is not as remote as Suiyuxuan, but if I live in Suiyuxuan, it will not be like me. Most of them are passed by the emperor himself. .When I entered the palace gate, I saw Cuicai, her face was full of anxiety, and she cried when she saw me, what are you crying for, could it be that my appearance like a ghost scared her to cry?Baojuan, Juqing, Ganju, Xiaoxizi, and Xiaolezi ran out of the house again, and a group of people stayed up late at night. It was a waste of my chance to spare them from serving.

However, their anxious look, worried look, and distressed look made me feel a little cold outside.Probably because my heart was relaxed and numb, I felt the heavy frost and dew in the night.

The caring girl has already prepared the bath water, and they are also being served to take a bath. They make me feel comfortable and enjoy it, but if they don't serve me with red eyes and tears all the time.

The careful girl, knowing that I don't have much strength, helped me dress and take care of it, which made me feel refreshed and better.

Capable little Xizi, thinking that I might be hungry, I don’t know where I got the food I like on weekdays, I just came back after seeing him go, the food was cold, I must have spent a lot of thought, but I ate joy, feel delicious.

The sensible little Lezi is very active tonight, talking and singing, as long as it is funny, he learns to do it, and he learns it vividly.

They all tried their best to serve me, no matter how uncomfortable they felt, I felt tired without knowing it, squinting my eyes, feeling that someone covered me with a quilt, and listening to their whimpers in the room, I just felt the pain in my heart, but it felt warmer, "Don't cry, I... I'm fine." I don't know if I said this when I was awake or in a dream after sleep.I remember thinking about a sentence that the young master said at that time, "If you insist on staying in the palace, the master will make the place where you are a cold palace." My palace is so warm, I am afraid it will be difficult for him.

"I should have invited the imperial physician to take a look at it last night, but..." I heard Cuisi's voice in the mist, "Miss Juqing, have you been to the imperial hospital? Which imperial physician came to replace the little one?" Lord, see?"

"No one in the Tai Hospital is willing to come." It was Ju Qing who spoke, with complaints in his words, "They are all powerful people. Seeing what happened to the little master, the emperor didn't care about it, so they neglected each other. .”

"Then what should I do, the little mainstream has so much blood, what can I do if I don't see the imperial doctor, my sister has gone to see the imperial physician," Cui Si whispered, "I see that the imperial physician Wen is different from others, and I have also taken care of it. Little master."

"Physician Wen went to Suiyuxuan early in the morning, and heard that the emperor sent an order to feel the pulse of the nobleman in Guan."

"Your Majesty Guan is well, she usually has a deep affection for the young master and sister, but now I don't see her caring about the young master, she just cares about herself!" Cui Si was a little bit aggrieved.

"Keep your voice down," Ju Qing on the side persuaded her excitedly, as if she was afraid that she would wake me up, but I was already fully awake when I heard this, "Let others hear the trouble, and Bao Juan will know It's time to talk about you again."

"Did I say something wrong? I heard Sister Baojuan say yesterday that when she went to find the young master, Guan Guiren's face turned dark when she heard that the young master was serving the bed, and she didn't look happy for the young master at all." Last night, I robbed the emperor by myself, not to mention, today I still occupy the doctor Wen, our little master treats her as a sister, and we are still thinking about her when she is sick. Good things are constantly being sent to Suiyuxuan, but she is like this. !"

"Okay, okay, don't make the young master feel uncomfortable for nothing." Ju Qing was also a little moved by Cuisi's words, "How is the young master now, the low fever is gone?"

"The fever has subsided. Sister Baojuan felt that the young master was about to wake up, so she went to the small kitchen to see how the food preparations are going." Cuisi probably didn't want me to be sad, although her tone was still uneven, but in the end it was true. mentioned.

I got up by myself, and felt that the cramping pain in my lower abdomen was not obvious. I thought that the most uncomfortable period of dysmenorrhea had passed, but I was so hungry that I called two people to help me get up.The little girl Cui Si saw that I was in good spirits, she smiled with confidence but her eye circles were red, I wanted to tease her with Ju Qing when I saw me, but I didn't want Ju Qing to be wiping the corners of her eyes in a hurry behind my back, seeing the two of them like this , I feel warm in my heart, so happy.But this kind of happiness didn't last long, and I heard the movement outside:

"Yo! Sister Baojuan is holding Dong'e Ejiao Longan Soup? It just so happens that my nobleman got up, so let's take it for breakfast."

"This is used by our young master to make up for himself, how could I give it to your nobleman." Baojuan's voice was very atmospheric, and she was right, she was the maid in charge of our house after all, but now she was taken by Fucha. The little palace lady next to the nobleman made things difficult, and she was inevitably angry, but because of my current loss of power, she had to swallow her anger, "If your little master likes it, I will ask Chamomile to make another copy and send it to you later."

"Oh, what I said just now is just to flatter my sister. You should save some of the things I saw for your little master. I'm afraid you won't have this chance in the future. But it's okay, even if your little master is If you mend your body, you won't have the chance to face the saint, so don't waste these precious things for nothing."

"You are bold, how could you insult my young master like this," Baojuan said angrily, "Be careful, I told your master to make you look good."

"Forget it, sister, stand up for the first person in the palace to return to Zhao, my little master can't afford to lose face."

"Presumptuous! Talking about the little master behind her back," it was Mei Zhuang. I heard her voice, and I smiled lightly. I saw Ju Qing and Cui Si, who were annoyed by the movement outside the house just now, looked puzzled. They naturally didn't understand. You will understand that I don't care about the attitude of other people in the palace.What I care about is their considerate care, and the arrival of Mei Zhuang, standing up for me, they make me feel that I am not alone in this palace, even if something happens, there will be someone to help bear it.

Mei Zhuang dismissed the court lady with a few words, and threatened the other palace servants, "If I hear you talking behind your back again, see if I don't tell the queen, I will send you slaves who are below the level of the criminal to the Punishment Department." .” Listening to her majestic words, I thought she must be as heroic and charming as a female general when she spoke.It didn't take long for me to see the woman who defended me. She was not as vigorous as she was outside the house just now, her face was full of worry and pity. What surprised me was that Doctor Wen came with her.Sister Mei sat directly beside my bed, carefully looked at my face, and combed my forehead and hair for me, then asked Doctor Wen to feel my pulse, "What happened to you yesterday, but I fell asleep peacefully by myself , I didn’t help you with anything, I hurried over when I heard about it this morning, and happened to meet Dr. Wen. How are you?”

"I'm fine, really." I'm fine, you don't have to worry.

Mei Zhuang didn't believe what I said, and just asked Doctor Wen with his eyes, which made me feel aggrieved by my own character, "My lord is fine, it's just that he lost a lot of blood, just take care of him for a while." Listen. When Imperial Physician Wen said this, Mei Zhuang was relieved, and ordered Caiyue and Imperial Physician Wen to go back to grab some tonics, and even served Baojuan's breakfast in person, ignoring my stop, and feeding me personally.It can't help but remind me of when I was a child, when I was sick, my mother also took care of me like this. I didn't expect that I could be treated like this in this palace.

"Rong'er, Huan'er doesn't come to see you, but she doesn't know how to face you, but she also cares about you, otherwise she won't let Doctor Wen come to investigate." Mei Zhuang said while feeding me, "Can you Willing to understand her?"

Mei Zhuang regards Zhen Huan as her sister and me as her own. If Zhen Huan and I don't get along well, that's what worries her the most.Last night, I was supposed to serve the bed, but the emperor went to Zhen Huan's place. It is inevitable for anyone to be angry and resentful. It is normal for her to worry, but she can clearly show her worry, which is also her trust in me. I am very happy .As for myself, although I am not attached to holy grace, I can't ignore that kind of insult. I know that it is not Zhen Huan's fault. If I want to blame, I also blame the person who gave me the bowl of medicine. The one who embarrassed me was the emperor who made the final decision. Zhen Huan has no responsibility at all.But when I see her now, it's still somewhat unnatural, and I believe Zhen Huan is the same.It's good for both of us not to meet now.

"Rong'er, what happened last night?" Mei Zhuang asked others to remove the utensils, and asked me seriously. Seeing that I was hesitating, she said, "If you don't want to tell me, it's up to you. I'm just worried that you got caught by someone else I don’t know it yet.” Even so, I clearly saw the sadness flashing in her eyes, and I was entangled in my heart. I didn’t want to tell her so that she wouldn’t worry, but I didn’t want to make her sad.Ju Qing, who was beside me, led the people down with a wink, and closed the door for us, so there were only two of us in the room.

"Sister, I drank a bowl of medicine before going to bed, a bowl of contraceptive pills rewarded by the emperor." I said it plainly and naturally, but Mei Zhuang was shocked when he heard it, "There is such a thing? Then you... "All affection cannot be expressed through words. She didn't explain it to me, but I felt her distress and worry for me.

"It's okay if it's a contraceptive pill." I don't care what attitude the emperor has towards me. If he doesn't want me to have a baby, I can save unnecessary troubles. Having a child has the benefits of having a child, and there is also the convenience of not having a child. , but I didn't expect that this was a trick, "It's just that there are too many things in the medicine that make my menstruation come early."

"You mean someone harmed you?" Mei Zhuang was very surprised, maybe she thought it was me who had no intention of serving the bed, but she didn't want to have such a thing, "Who do you think it is?"

who is it?I originally thought it was the emperor, but afterwards I thought that his anger was too suspicious, as if he didn't know about it, could it be that the medicine given by the emperor was tampered with?

"The fragrance on your body is very unique, have you taken the medicine?" The emperor said so in my ear last night, isn't it because of my cooperation?Afterwards, he seemed to ask how my health was. He didn't want to know whether the medicine he rewarded had any aftereffects on me, but he wanted to know why I took the medicine, and whether it was because I was not in good health.I was short of breath at the time, but now that I think about it, I understand that there were too many suspicious things last night.Maybe that medicine was not rewarded by the emperor at all, but someone else specially prepared it for me, in order to turn the place where I was into a cold palace.And my own performance last night, sneer, must have made the emperor think that I don't want to be favored, and my menstruation is premature after drinking medicine. Thinking of this, I broke out in a cold sweat. I really walked through the gate of hell once. , It's rare that the person didn't let me down. I didn't realize that my hands were getting colder and colder, and I was still trembling involuntarily. On the contrary, Meizhuang was startled and asked with concern, "Ronger, What’s wrong with you?"

I felt the warmth from her, and said, "I don't know, I don't know what to do..." Maybe it was because I said it too softly later, Meizhuang just thought that I didn't know who was trying to harm me, that I was Afraid, "Don't be afraid, no matter who it is, Huan'er and I will be with you, don't be afraid."

How can I not be afraid, I didn't expect his methods to be so powerful that he dared to use the name of the emperor to trip himself up.

How can I not be afraid, I didn't expect that some plans are so perfect that they are so intertwined that people can't escape.

How can I not be afraid, I didn't expect that I would be calculated by others so defenselessly, and I even made a effort to push myself to a worse situation.

Fortunately, I'm fine, and it's really suspicious that the emperor didn't pursue it, but at least I got a blessing in disguise, and I can have a safe limbo.At the same time, I also feel hatred, hate the people who play me around, hate myself who has no ability to resist.

Looking at Mei Zhuang who is sincerely giving for himself, I hesitated, do I really want to protect myself from competing for favor?Living in one place, passively accepting help from sisters, passively being calculated by others, and using others' neglect in exchange for peace, can it really last long?

······What I didn't know was that after preparing the medicinal materials for me, Imperial Physician Wen went to Suiyuxuan.

"Lord Wen, how about Ling Rong?" It was Zhen Huan who spoke.

"Ann promised to be fine, it's just that her menstrual disorder was caused by taking medicine, and she just needs to take care of her."

"Drugs? Are you saying that she designed it herself to avoid Grace?"

"I can't guarantee this, but it's very possible."

"If that's the case, then I will treat her..." She didn't want her sisters to have a rift in their relationship, and she could risk the crime of deceiving the emperor and avoid favor with medicine, but she never believed her, and couldn't be really happy for her. I always suspect that her city is too deep.Among other things, I would never be able to do what she did in the same situation, Ling Rong, how on earth would I face such a person.

Sometimes misunderstanding a person is never because of lack of understanding, but because of trusting another person more.If Wen Shichu hadn't guessed that I was more likely to take medicine to avoid pets, Zhen Huan would not have believed it without the slightest doubt.Even if the person who told her about it was Mei Zhuang, she would guess whether I had any intentions.Therefore, to a certain extent, Zhen Huan trusts her rejected admirer Wen Shichu more than her sister Shen Meizhuang who grew up with her.