calm to light

Although I know that I will inevitably suffer and suffer in the future, I don't think that when this day really comes, it will be so severe.Others’ cynicism towards me was nothing more than that, and my daily food and clothing expenses were deducted to such an extent that I was just a low-ranking person who promised me, but now I was deliberately made things difficult by the people in the respect room. There are no decorations, even the food is mostly cold, and it is even more difficult to swallow when it is cold. This treatment is much worse than my illness.I'm afraid they thought that I would have no chance of being liked by the emperor, so even with Zhen Huan and Mei Zhuang's care, they didn't want to restrain myself much.Fortunately, I have the money I brought with me when I entered the palace, but those servants treated me so harshly even when Mei Zhuang and Zhen Huan were favored.

But I am also a trouble-free person, and Meizhuang will come to see me almost every day. Although Zhen Huan has never been here, she always asks Liuzhu to send me something to supplement, and most of the days have passed like this.After Zhen Huan recovered completely, the emperor took him to Tangquan Palace. Such a beautiful thing as soaking in hot springs really made me envious. I'm afraid that other people in the harem might not be able to sleep well tonight.That night, it was rare for Mei Zhuang to eat dinner with me, although he was dissatisfied that the food in my palace was so bad, but he didn't mind seeing me, the two sisters also enjoyed eating together so they didn't say much.After the meal, Mei Zhuang and I chatted happily, and Cui Si was waiting beside me. She was a cheerful person herself, and she was also happy with us.Before I knew it, it was getting late at night, so I urged Meizhuang to go, the night road is difficult, it is better to go back earlier, but Meizhuang didn't intend to leave, "Rong'er, I'm not sleepy yet, I want to accompany you Accompany you." She looked at the starry sky late at night outside the window, the full moon was cold and her heart was cold, "I don't know what Huan'er is doing now."

"Sister Wan should serve the bed." It's just that she is so different even in serving the bed. The emperor took pity on her and only took her to Tangquan Palace alone. No one in the harem would be jealous of such a special favor.Sister Mei felt very uncomfortable and naturally, "Sister, are you worried?" There was something in my words, not only that she was worried about Zhen Huan, but also that she was worried about herself, worried about the disaster that would follow from Zhen Huan's favor, maybe Zhen Huan She can be avoided with the help of the emperor, but what about her, and me, so what?so what?

"Rong'er, I'm worried." Because of the presence of outsiders, Mei Zhuang could only say this, but I can somewhat understand the complicated thoughts in her eyes, "I didn't even think of such a feeling." Looking at her Look, she is ashamed of herself for having such thoughts, such eyebrows make my heart ache.If Mei Zhuang and Zhen Huan asked me to choose between the two, I would definitely choose Mei Zhuang without any hesitation. In my opinion, her thinking is very normal, and only she is too soft-hearted and thinks that she is sorry for Zhen Huan. , but I can't bear her feeling guilty because of Zhen Huan.

"Sister, don't think about it," she held Meizhuang's hand, and moved her forehead closer to Meizhuang's forehead, "You should find a way to comfort me. The emperor took sister Guan to the hot spring. I was so envious that I couldn't sleep. Got it! But I think everyone is like this, maybe my younger sister is jealous, but she is always better than others. But compared to my older sister, I must be more petty."

"You." Mei Zhuang smiled, as if she was amused by my intentional childishness, and also seemed to be comforted by my words, in short, she smiled, "Rong'er,... ".

After that, fortunately, the knot in sister Mei's heart was untied, and she became more comfortable, and she became sleepy, so we didn't talk much.She didn't want me to send her off, so I asked Xiao Lezi and Xiao Xizi to send her off together. When it was dark, she would go back with the maids, I was worried.Let the two of them go to send it off together, and have a companion when they come back.

After Zhen Huan and the emperor came back from Tangquan Palace, they only loved her in the harem. The emperor went to her whenever he was free. Meizhuang could only see the emperor at noon, and most of them were accompanied by Zhen Huan.I thought that apart from Zhen Huan and Mei Zhuang in the harem, only Concubine Hua could see the emperor a few times, but Zhen Huan was the only one serving in bed.The emperor's sole favor, the sky in the harem is probably getting darker, now it's the tranquility that is about to come.

This morning, I found Mei Zhuang and went to pay my respects to the Queen. Seeing how tired her eyebrows and eyes are, I thought she had something on her mind and couldn't sleep, but I heard Caiyue said that Concubine Hua always finds some excuses to find Mei Zhuang recently. She always has to be vigilant to deal with it, and it's rare to have a good rest.I wanted to complain that she didn't tell me, but I thought that even if I found out, I couldn't help her, so I didn't ask, leaving my eyebrows feeling a little uncomfortable seeing me unhappy.But I didn't want to get angry with Mei Zhuang, I just blamed myself for my incompetence and self-pity, and there was no reason for Mei Zhuang to be unhappy with me, so I opened my mouth to remove the unpleasant atmosphere between the two of us.

Morning greetings are mostly just for the queen. The queen mother has been ill since we entered the palace. I heard that she has been recuperating but always has ups and downs. She never lets us disturb her, so it saves a lot of trouble.After everyone paid their respects, the empress decided to visit the empress dowager, so we didn't stop there, and went out of Jingren Palace together to go back, and Zhen Huan was also with me.Since returning to Zhao that night, Zhen Huan and I have not seen each other. There are my intentions and her avoidance. Seeing her again feels like a world away. Looking at the busy and mischievous people outside.Although the same cleverness is beyond ordinary people, but there is a young woman's Huaichun's heart in her delicate red complexion, but she does not have the innocence and sincerity of a young girl.Hehe, she has changed, so have I, Meizhuang has changed too, and I don't know what's wrong with me, being so sensitive to her.Thinking of it this way, I was able to talk to her more or less without restraint, and it also made her less uneasy at first. The atmosphere was harmonious, but Concubine Hua came.

Seeing that the visitor was not kind, the three of us greeted the visitor in a polite manner, trying to avoid some troubles, but things backfired. Sure enough, Concubine Li, who was next to Concubine Hua, began to pick on Zhen Huan's thorns, sneering and sarcastic, but Zhen Huan has always been eloquent, almost Concubine Hua, who picked her up with just a few words, annoyed Concubine Li.As if she couldn't see Zhen Huan's pride, Concubine Hua said, "Guan Gui is both beautiful and beautiful, and it is reasonable to be favored by the emperor, but I am puzzled. Aren't you the same sister as Shen Guiren? Why don't you just favor her?" I will share a piece of the pie with my sisters. It’s fine for other people.” When she said “other people”, Concubine Hua looked at me who was silent sarcastically. My elder sister who grew up since I was a child, but I see the nobleman in Guan, as if I even enjoy the favor of my elder sister to myself, and I don't want to give up." Such a powerful sentence, said by Mei Zhuang and Zhen Huan Qiqi's face changed, it was Concubine Hua, she spoke differently from ordinary people, extraordinary, after Concubine Hua finished speaking, she left on her own, leaving the three of us somewhat embarrassed, Zhen Huan wanted to say a few words to Mei Zhuang I don't want me to be dissatisfied with her, but after all, Meizhuang and I are not the same kind of people who treat her with the same words, and even if Meizhuang wants to be honest with me, because of the difference between Zhen Huan It's a bit difficult to do, I saw this, so I asked myself to leave first, and I can talk to them if I keep them, and I have to avoid me first, Mei Zhuang's face is full of guilt, while Zhen Huan's eyes are dodging and dare not look at me directly, after all , They have grown up in love since childhood, but I have too many gaps with them.

After walking some distance, I looked back at Mei Zhuang and Zhen Huan who walked away together with their backs turned to me, and my heart was sore at that moment.That kind of sisterhood makes me envious, makes me jealous.

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In Jingren Palace, after the emperor and the empress had finished their lunch, the empress dowager was mentioned in the conversation, thinking that the empress dowager had been ill for a long time, and most of them were bedridden, the emperor was a little annoyed, "Is the empress dowager's illness still not improving?"

"The imperial doctor said that the Empress Dowager's illness cannot be cured by medicine and stones, but that she needs to rely on divine power." Seeing that the emperor's face was gloomy, Yixiu dared not speak.After a long time, Yinzhen finally said, "A group of idiots in the Tai Hospital, if they are not good at medical skills, they will blame the ghosts!"

"The concubine is so stupid that she actually believed it and used it to bother the emperor."

"I don't blame you, I know you care about the Queen Mother, so I'd rather believe it."

The empress is like this, and the emperor who is the empress dowager's parent and son must be like this too. He would rather believe it. Thinking of this, Yixiu said, "The lama came to see it this morning and said that the empress dowager has been ill for a long time. I need to get angry and get rid of the illness."

"How do you say it?" Yinzhen asked, since this was new.

"The meaning of Lama is to let pure and noble people serve the Queen Mother, pray for the Queen Mother, eat fast and chant Buddha, so as to pray for the blessing of the Buddha for the Queen Mother, so as to eliminate the ills and disasters."

"Who does the empress want?" If he wanted to serve the empress dowager, it would be inconvenient to attend the bed, so he wanted to know who the empress wanted to go. There were not many concubines in his palace, and one of them was a child at heart, so it was not suitable for her. take care of others.

"The concubine thinks that An promises to be well-behaved and sensible, and has a certain amount of advance and retreat." Feeling Yinzhen's gaze on her, she was somewhat nervous, thinking that the emperor was really annoyed by An and promised, no, he wouldn't, after all she He bumped into him so much in his palace, but he didn't even pursue it.Others only felt that he was indifferent to An's promise, but Yixiu saw how much he cared about An's promise, so he might as well ask, "What do you think, Your Majesty?"

Thinking of the pure and peaceful scene in Yimei Garden, the indifferent woman who smiled in front of him, her eyes were different from the tranquility of ordinary people, if she was kept in the palace like this, this unique charm would not be able to be maintained How long, it's just the queen's interference, who thinks she's smart to take precautions earlier, somewhat displeased him, "An promise is also considered gentle, and she can serve the queen mother well, but her status is not considered noble."

Yixiu didn't know what the emperor meant. As the emperor's daughter, even if her position was not high, she could be regarded as honorable. The emperor said so, maybe there was someone else in his heart, "But Chunchang is a child, I'm afraid I will offend the queen mother." .”

"The permanent position is not honorable enough, let's go with An's. In addition, I plan to promote her as a nobleman."

"But An promised to go to bed, and he has no merit or virtue, if he is promoted to two ranks..."

"I'm doing it for the safety of my mother-in-law. Besides, it's useless for her to serve the queen mother. Let the queen watch over the matter of Jinfeng."

"The concubine takes orders."

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I would have been happy doing some embroidery work in the palace, but I didn't expect Jiang Fuhai who was beside the queen to deliver the decree,

"Promise An's, gentle character, polite behavior since entering the palace, quite a sacred heart, discretionary title as a sixth-rank nobleman, and not to serve the queen mother around in the future."

This kind of news made the people in my palace overjoyed. Also, I thought that I would have no future, but I didn't want the emperor to make an exception and make me the next person who was promoted before going to bed after Zhen Huan. , I watched Baojuan and the others excitedly sorting out the rewards, and saw that there were no more or less things from the nobles sent by the respect room. Probably even those shrewd servants didn't know whether I was favored or out of favor, so they It's best to deliver things in a proper manner.

If it is said that it is out of favor, I have broken the status of a nobleman, but if it is said that it is favored, but I have to accompany the queen mother, and my future is bleak.Even I myself don't know what's going on and how to deal with it.

Because I was going to serve the queen mother, the queen gave me a day to take care of it, and asked me to move to the queen mother's palace to take care of me. However, Yanxi Palace is still my residence, but the queen mother's condition has not improved. Not likely to come back.I ordered Baojuan's chamomile and Xiaoxizi to take care of Yanxi Palace. They are prudent, so I can rest assured.I didn't plan to bring Cuisi, but I thought she was spoiled by me, and others couldn't control her. It's better for me to take care of her, so I took it with me. There are Juqing and Xiaolezi beside me, They are clever, and they will help me watch Cuicai.We were almost ready, so we planned to go to the Queen Mother's place. As soon as we were about to leave, Mei Zhuang and Zhen Huan came, presumably to come to see me after hearing the news, but judging by their expressions, it didn't look like they were here to say congratulations, Zhen Huan I don't know what she thinks, Mei Zhuang is probably more worried about me.

"I know you are in a hurry to pay your respects to the queen mother. Huan'er and I shouldn't have come at this time," Mei Zhuang said, seeing that I had almost taken care of myself, "but if you don't come today, you will go to the queen mother again. I don't know When will I see you again?"

"My sister cares about me, I know." I saw that standing and talking like this was not a good look, so I asked Mei Zhuang and Zhen Huan to sit down, and asked Ju Qing to take Xiao Lezi to put my things in order first, and tidy me up at the Queen Mother's place temporary residence.

"Rong'er, Huan'er and I are happy to hear that you have been promoted to a noble person, but I feel worried when I hear that you are going to serve the queen mother." Mei Zhuang said sincerely, "Serving the queen mother is a blessing, but it takes If you eat vegetarian food and recite Buddha’s name, then you won’t be truly favored..." Before she finished speaking, Zhen Huan interrupted, "Sister," Zhen Huan signaled Mei Zhuang not to say anything, even though she went down to my room first There are only the personal maids brought by the two of them, and Baojuan, but the disaster comes from the mouth, and Zhen Huan is polite in doing so.

"Sister, I'm very happy. You two serve the emperor, and I serve the queen mother. It's good for the sisters to take care of each other, right?" I think Mei Zhuang understood the meaning of my words, but he did understand, but his heart still hurts , "But you have been in poor health, and now you have to take care of the queen mother, and you can't eat more tonic..."

I know that she is wholeheartedly for me. Hearing her concern, I was naturally happy. Zhen Huan next to me said, "Maybe it would be better for Lingrong to serve the Queen Mother? It won't be abused by slaves like before, and it can also keep away from the gossip in the harem, sister." Stop worrying."

"I know, it's just that it's inconvenient to see you in the future."

"We sisters are of the same heart, are you afraid that we don't have time to get together?" I said with a smile, reaching out to shake hands with them, and the three of us shook hands again.But this time, we all wandered through the harem at our own pace.

Mei Zhuang is in charge of the Sixth Palace, Zhen Huan's family is on the verge of prosperity, and I will be with the Empress Dowager, seeking blessings.

When I arrived at the Empress Dowager's Palace, the first thing I met was not the Empress Dowager, but the lama who came to tell me about praying for blessings and gods.And his arrival gave me some confidence in what happened today.And I, following the lama's wishes, began to learn the etiquette of praying for blessings and the dance to be danced in front of everyone in the harem when I prayed to God at the end.

I heard that it was the queen who told the emperor that she begged the nobleman to get rid of her sickness for the empress dowager, and it was the emperor who chose me and promoted me. I'm afraid he favored me because of dancing.That night, the dance I danced in Yimeiyuan brought me the opportunity of today.

Soon, my day to show off in the harem will come.The whole process of praying for blessings is carried out in the Temple of Heaven, and the climax is my dance, which pleases the gods and prays for the possession of the gods.I was preparing to change clothes in the temporary room, and looked at the altar outside the house through the window. In front of the altar, a group of harem concubines stood in order. They were going to pray for the queen mother together. As the saying goes, there are more people and more power , It is also applicable to this matter, I just think that today's turmoil, so many people's participation, part of it is really for the Queen Mother, and part of it is to try to figure out me.

The emperor withdrew from the Hall of Mental Cultivation to preside over the overall situation with the queen, and his arrival indicated that it was time for me to appear.

White is the purest, and gold symbolizes nobility. I am wearing a pure white dress with a phoenix pattern embroidered with gold thread.My long hair is loose, I don’t wear any decorations, it’s the first time in this world that I don’t wear make-up, wearing such plain but luxurious clothes, to do the longest thing I did in my previous life, to confuse everyone with dancing on stage— —My dance is not to confuse the gods, but to let everyone in the harem know that I deserve it.

Walking from the crowd to the altar, I didn't look sideways. At this moment, I was a chosen woman, and those who serve the gods did not need to salute to others.Walking unhurriedly, I felt a rare peace in my heart, looking at the emperor and queen standing directly in front of me, I didn't have any extra expressions, and took the wishing tree from the emperor's hand, this simple action, I cherished the most Do it with a pious heart, because that will be the only place where I will listen to heaven for this dance.

In the middle of the altar, I started to dance, my white clothes whirled, and the golden light shimmered and flowed.Surrounding the altar, ghost faces cooperated, and Sanskrit murmured bells, suddenly circled an ethereal place in the mortal world.

When I really appreciate it, a dance always comes to the end very quickly. Now, it’s time for me to petition. I stretched out my long arms, thinking about some tips taught by the lama, and I moved my fingers slightly, listening to the petition. It landed behind me, separated into two halves from a whole, felt the breeze blowing, stretched out my arms, closed my eyes and raised my head, let me do my last act of deception for this prayer.

The black hair is attached to the falling wishing tree in the air, the white clothes are unfolded behind him, the golden phoenix takes off, the faint golden light faints in an instant, and returns to the cage in a blink of an eye, it is really like a god being attracted, bending over this place on the figure.

Sure enough, I heard the gasp of the people behind me. It was originally a subtle sound, but because there were so many people doing it, it became more obvious.It's just that I didn't notice the meaning in the eyes of the satisfied emperor who looked at me and smiled behind me.

·····················································································································… I don't know how many people have been fascinated.She never thought that An Lingrong would be so outstanding. She thought that even if she was promoted, she would not be able to do a good job, and she would not be able to find a job in her position, but she didn't want to... "Haha," yes I miscalculated.

"Empress, what are you laughing at?" Yixiu didn't know that he actually laughed out loud, although his voice was small, but Yinzhen who had been paying attention to her found out.

"The concubine is inappropriate," Yixiu said to Shang Yinzhen's questioning eyes, "It's just that the concubine is really surprised by Mr. An's appearance and dancing."

"She dances well." Compared to the astonishment of the night leaning on the plum garden, today she is more independent from the world. If it is really what I think, it won't be pretending for her to do this kind of thing.

"Isn't it?" Looking at the satisfaction in Yinzhen's eyes, Yixiu continued, "Mr. An Gui is really amazing today, I don't know how compared to sister's "Jinghong" dance..." She After all, he didn't finish his sentence, and because of the chill in Yinzhen's eyes, he swallowed back the second half of the sentence.

"There is no comparison at all." With a faint tone, only he himself knows the meaning of the words. How can different people and different dances be compared?There is no need to compare.

"It's the concubine who made a slip of the tongue."

·······After the sacrifice, Mei Zhuang took Zhen Huan to see me, smiled and said that I am charming without makeup, that my dancing posture is amazing, that I should show this book earlier, and I will not go like today Taking care of the queen mother, it is difficult for the sisters to meet each other.In her words, she didn't really complain and dissatisfaction, but she was relieved to see me so beautiful, I just laughed and didn't answer.From that day on, I really started my life next to the Queen Mother.

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"My lord, An's Jinfeng nobleman has come to serve the Queen Mother."

"Queen Mother? Hehe, it's much better than her serving the emperor. You go to Songyang County yourself."

"Master, what happened in the palace?"

"This master will take care of it personally, and let you go to Songyang County for more important things." Let her accept the favor of the master again, such important things should have been done by the master himself.

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