hate time

It was you who gave it new life.

April [-]

My decision to rewrite "Death" has been agreed to by the publisher.

"Death" was something I wrote more than ten years ago.After only writing three books, it ended in a hurry.

In the past few days, I have been discussing the plot with you and Zhang Qi.After studying for so long, I came to the conclusion that the plot is basically unchanged, and the only thing that needs to be revised is the wording.

However, my ultimate goal this time is not to rewrite, but to continue writing, to finish the unfinished story and give it a real ending.

April [-]

Even if it's not the day of the review, you still like to go to the hospital to visit the child who sang with the statement last time.

You call him Big Fat.

I checked, Da Fei's family is poor, and his medical expenses are a huge expense.The whole family depends almost entirely on the part-time work of his sister who is still in college.A rather special part-time job - car model.

In addition to the forums of her university, nurses are also spreading rumors that she actually does sex work, otherwise, how could there be so much money.

May [-]

The new version of "Death" (three parts) is released.At the same time, I started to write "The Passing 4"

May [-]

As usual, at night, I tucked the quilt for you, and this time I couldn't help but touch your face with my hands...the tentacles were cold.So he put his hot face on it.

In your sleep, you unconsciously rubbed your nose against mine.

June [-]

"The Passing 4" has entered the final finishing stage, and you are seriously making revisions and comments.

You said: "I heard from my father that when my mother used to be an editor, she read the whole article word by word, and she had to pay special attention to whether the word "de" and "de" were used incorrectly." I retorted : "All editors do this, not just your mother." The intention is to tell you that Mama Xia is Mama Xia, you are you, and you don't have to live as another Mama Xia.

You stopped talking, just still smiling.

July [-]

"Death 4" appeared in the bookstore.

August [-]

I took you to a restaurant, but you said that the weather was hot and your appetite was bad, so I could only take a step back and say, "Sure, let's not eat vegetables. But you must finish this bowl of noodles." "Why?" "This is Longevity noodles."

I chuckled and said, "I really don't remember? Today is August [-]th." "Birthday?" "Yes, your birthday is also my birthday."

The Buddhist scriptures I have been copying a few days ago, I bound it into a thread-bound book and gave it to you as a birthday present.

But you said: "I never celebrate my birthday. Because my birthday is also the anniversary of my mother's death."

"You don't have to live in your mother's shadow."

"It's not that I want to live in the shadows," you said lightly, "but I can't escape at all. Because I am her child, this cannot be changed."

You finally smiled: "But, thank you for the gift."

The author has something to say: I put the detailed plot of "Death" in "Wu Sapin"

☆, four, 34 years old, 27 years old

August [-]

You said you were going to the bookstore.

"The Passing 4" is a new book, and it is also a bestseller, so it is placed in the most prominent place.You smile when you see it.

And I froze.

Those beautiful eyes, overflowing with radiance, finally regained their spirit.

I decided to tell you about that.

I asked, "How much do you remember about your childhood?" "Why do you suddenly ask this. I have a very poor memory. When I was young, I only remember being hugged and hugged by someone, and I tightly grasped that person's collar with my hands. "

I asked again: "Do you remember when you were eight years old?" "I don't remember." "Then, were you in Yiwu when you were eight years old?" "No, I was in Suzhou. Because my grandma was in Suzhou. I was She was taken back to Yiwu by her father when she was ten years old."

"I was 15 years old that year. My hometown is Gaoyou. In the summer vacation after the high school entrance examination, I had nothing to do, so my father asked me to go to my uncle in Suzhou. My uncle is the vice president of a children's hospital. My father is a doctor, and he hoped that I could become a doctor, so he planned to put me in my uncle's children's hospital for an internship for a month or two. Relying on my uncle's relationship, I worked in the hospital in the name of a social volunteer Helping the nurse take care of the child. Among the noisy children, I found a very beautiful and quiet child."

"Could it be me?"

"Guess right. You were small and thin like a doll at that time. You liked to read books and eat lotus root noodles, but you just didn't like to talk and didn't fit in with others. When you didn't know what to say, you always smiled silly. However, laughing When I was there, there was a twinkle in my eyes, very beautiful."

"I worked as your special caregiver for a month, and then I went back to my hometown, Gaoyou, to study in high school. We haven't seen each other since then, until now, you have been my editor, allowing me to sigh hypocritically: The world is so small."

"I don't remember at all"

"I don't know what happened after your dad brought you back to Yiwu. It made your eyes dim. I tell you this to tell you that there is no need to hide it in front of me. Expressed in the eyes."

You didn't answer me.

After you got home, you had a fever, probably because the air conditioner in the bookstore was turned on too much.

Taking too much medicine is not good after all, so I only use alcohol to physically cool you down, and eat tofu by the way.

September [-]

When I was discussing the plot of "The Passing 5" with you on the sofa, you suddenly had a nosebleed.I'm worried, but you don't care much: "Maybe it's rhinitis. I have medicine, just spray it later and it will be fine."

September [-]

I got a call saying you passed out in the publishing house.

When I hurried to the hospital, I found you sitting on the chair in the hallway, and the statement pulled Dafei to stand beside you.

"It's just anemia, don't make such a fuss." The statement said.

I took you home.

After seven o'clock in the evening, you fell asleep.

I put my forehead against yours to test the temperature.

You moved suddenly and rubbed my nose with your nose.

September [-]

I went out to buy pears, and when I came back, I found you lying in the living room.

Although you wake up quickly, and there are no other problems except low-grade fever.But I feel very uneasy.

October [-]th

I sat in front of the computer for almost a whole day, and finally got the ending of "The Passing 5".

At this time, you walked in and asked, "Is this thermometer broken?" You fell down while talking.

October [-]

You have to be hospitalized this time, and the next bed is that fat kid.

October [-]

Fatty's car model sister appeared.She is a pretty girl and well dressed.She seemed to love her little brother very much.

October [-]

The statement suddenly became nervous, saying that he wanted to record a song "Cang Hai Yi Laugh" with Da Fei, and dragged me to play the flute accompaniment.

Afterwards, he still took the recording pen and chattered around, saying that they would release records in the future.

I really, really regret knowing this guy.

October [-]

You told me that Da Fei can see stars that others can't see.I don't think it's surprising, children, naturally you will see more things.

November [-]

As the weather got colder and colder, Da Fei's condition suddenly took a turn for the worse, and he became sickly.Suddenly the ward became much quieter.

November [-]

"Historical Shu" deadline, you quarreled with the statement because of work, and you were discharged from the hospital.

If the statement can't even bother you, then I have nothing to do, I can only take the initiative to help you with part of the work.

November [-]

You have no problems other than a low-grade fever.

You fiddle around like this, but nothing happens.Fatty lay there peacefully, but his condition deteriorated for no reason, and he was recently admitted to the ICU, costing tens of thousands a day.Big Fat Sister, seems to be very rich, and can always pay the money on the same day.The nurses began to spread rumors again, saying that she was taken care of by a rich boss.

November [-]

You called me and said that you came back from the supermarket with big bags and small bags, but the elevator was broken.I tell you to stand still and I will go downstairs to fetch you.

When I was about to go downstairs, I bumped into you walking up with a bag.

When you saw me, you fell down in relief.

"Xia Han! Xia Han! Xia Han!"

I heard my voice echoing in the corridor.

November 21

The statement said it was just a false alarm.Even so, you were still in a coma for a whole day.

After waking up, you smiled softly at me and said, "When I just fainted, I could hear you calling me, but that voice was far away from me."

I rumpled your hair with a wry smile.

November 25

That night, Fatty passed away.

The statement found you sleeping soundly in front of the operating room.

November 26

In the morning, the statement will stand by your hospital bed.I didn't argue with him this time, but stood outside the door consciously.

With my back against the wall, I could clearly hear the regular sounds of the instruments inside.

After you wake up, the first thing you say is to ask Da Fei.

The statement is silent, take out the recording pen from the pocket of the white coat, press the button, and put it on your bedside.

"There is a laugh in the sea, and the tides on both sides of the bank are surging. The ups and downs follow the waves and only remember the present."

"The sky is laughing, and there are tides in the world. Whoever loses and who wins, God knows."

"Jiangshan laughs, smoke and rain are far away, and the waves wash away the mundane affairs of the world, how delicate."

A writer, a doctor, a bad boy,

"The breeze smiles, which actually provokes loneliness, and there is still a night photo of the pride."

The song was recorded half-jokingly, half-seriously.

"The common people smile, no longer lonely, and the pride is still smiling foolishly."

December 28

It has been more than a month since Da Fei passed away.You are still in a trance.

The statement said that your illness is not very bad, but you are not optimistic. Anyway, you still have to stay in this hospital.

December 31

"Death 5" was published.

January [-]rd

You finally confessed to me.

I get it, you had a not-so-happy past, not-so-happy childhood.

It's just that it's time, it's time to get out of your mother's shadow.

Your birth was bought by your mother with her life, and it is the most beautiful gift that God bestows on the world.

Remember, you did not take your mother's life, but your mother gave it to you.

January [-]th

Your condition is getting worse.

"This winter is a juncture. Whether he can get through it depends on himself."

January [-]

It rained heavily in Hangzhou.

The heaviest thing is winter rain.

February [-]

After the Chinese New Year, the weather gets warmer, but your illness does not improve.

Your father and brother took you to Shanghai and had an operation.

The operation was not successful and caused many complications.

March [-]

Your father and brother took you to Beijing to seek medical treatment. Unexpectedly, due to sandstorms and other weather conditions, they returned to Hangzhou.

March [-]

I finished "The Passing 6".

April [-]nd

You are finally discharged from the hospital.Xia Yu took you back to Yiwu to rest.

May 25

You go back to work in Hangzhou and still live in my house.

May 28

In the early morning, I stripped you from the quilt and took you to Xiling Yinshe.

I brought you here under the pretext of buying ink pads to introduce Lao Wu to you.Lao Wu lives next door to our house, he is a very interesting person.

While eating the Yunpian cake served by Old Wu, you teased his fat cat.

Old Wu and I were playing chess on the sidelines.

Maybe it was because you got up too early in the morning, or maybe it was too boring, and you fell asleep after a while.

I fought with Lao Wu for three or five rounds, but I lost all of them.

Just when I was about to get up and ask you to leave together, he said: "Your chess skills are not inferior to mine. You lost to me, not because of chess skills." "Where did you lose?" "You lost because of mistakes." Up. Playing Go is when two people make mistakes one after another, the one who makes the big one, or the one that makes the most, loses." "Are you saying I'm absent-minded?"

He smiled and looked at you who was sleeping soundly beside him.

July [-]th

"Death 7" is finished.It's the end.

July [-]th

I packed my bags and planned to live in Inner Mongolia for two or three months, both to hide from the reporters and to clear up my mood.

But the only thing I'm worried about is you.You are alone at home, what should you do if a bad person comes?What should I do if the gas leaks during cooking?What if the elevator breaks down again?What should I do if I feel uncomfortable?If possible, I really don't want to leave you half a step away.But I am worried that being too close to you will deprive you of your minimum personal space.

Fortunately, Lao Wu is here to help take care of you this time.

Speaking of which, you are really amazing, you have become so familiar with Lao Wu in just over a month.

August [-]rd

During this time, I have been living in a yurt in the prairie of Inner Mongolia.This family is very hospitable and treats me with good wine and meat every day.

During the day, I help them ride horses and herd sheep.In the evening, I will learn Matouqin with my host.

There are many similarities between Matouqin and Erhu. I was very good at it and learned it in a short time.

In the evening, I started to code, not forgetting to work.

☆, five, 35 years old, 28 years old

September [-]

We bid farewell to the prairie and eagerly got on the plane back to Hangzhou.It feels so good to have someone waiting for me at home.

I bought a matouqin in Inner Mongolia.After packing the luggage, I took it out, put on a posture, and played "Gada Merlin".

"Little swan geese flying from the south, don't fall into the Yangtze River, don't take off. If you want to say that the uprising Gada Meilin is for the land of the Mongolian people."

"I'll teach you how to sing," I said, "Gada Merlin is much easier than "Jasmine Flower". It only took you ten years to learn "Jasmine Flower". meeting."

Why do I have to learn "Gada Meilin"? "" This can be used to practice Qi, which is good for people with lung disease. "

"It takes more than ten seconds to sing a sentence, and sings to the end in one breath. It's very breath-taking. Come on, let me sing a sentence and you follow it. The little-hong-yan from Nan-fang-fei- Now, take a breath." "Nan-fang" "No, it's Nan-fang-"

September [-]

After autumn, you start to cough and have fever.

I have prepared a full set of heating artifacts and various commonly used medicines at home.I also bought you a set of pajamas.It is made of special fabric, once the body temperature exceeds 37 degrees Celsius, the pajamas will change color.

January [-]

This winter, although you have been suffering from minor illnesses, fortunately, you have never been seriously ill.All my hard work has paid off.

January [-]

I plan to take you to my hometown Gaoyou tomorrow and play there for a few days.

You have a childish nature, and you were so excited that you couldn't sleep tonight.I wanted to make fun of you, but as soon as I thought about it, the time you followed me to Yunnan in pursuit of the manuscript was the first trip in your life...

January [-]

On the way, you asked me: "Is there any special product in Gaoyou? I'll bring some back to my elder brother."

"Salted Duck Eggs"

When I returned to Gaoyou's parents' house, I had already missed my lunch.To my surprise, my sister Zhong Yanming was still waiting for me to eat.She is now seven months pregnant.

"Ah, Xiao Xia, we meet again." Sun Duqian walked out of the kitchen holding a fruit plate.You have only met him once, and you have obviously forgotten him.

Let me recall it for you, and I will introduce it by the way: "His name is Sun Duqian, and he is my brother-in-law. He and my sister are classmates in junior high school. They have been in love for 12 years and got married when they were 24 years old. He and my sister My sisters are all photographers. When you met him in West Lake last time, he had just gotten married not long ago."

After eating, we sat and talked for a while.You're starting to look unwell.I will take you back to your room to rest.

After you fell asleep, I moved a chair and sat by your bed, took a book and read it, and looked at the dead branches outside the window from time to time.

I heard you turning over.

"Are you awake?" "Yeah." You also looked out the window and asked, "What kind of tree is that?" "Sycamore tree"

I asked: "Do you know the flower language of Chinese parasol tree?" "I don't know."

"The Beginning of Love"

You smiled and said, "Is that so?" "You should know the flower language of jasmine, right?" "I don't know."

"you are mine"

You covered your mouth with a quilt, and said sullenly, "I always think you made this up." I smiled and rubbed your hair, and asked, "Do you still want to sleep?" You shook your head. "Get up then, it's time for dinner."

Yanming was watching TV with a yellow doll in his arms. When he saw you coming out, he talked happily and gave you the doll in his hand.

You just woke up, holding the doll and turning left and right, you were startled by a wretched smiling face that suddenly caught your eyes, and you suddenly woke up.

Yanming's taste is still so...special.

My parents came back for dinner.After dinner, I asked my mother to take your pulse and prescribed some medicines to nourish your body.

At night, we both share the same bed.You sleep very well, and you don't move when you fall asleep.

January [-]

I'll take you to Zhenguo Temple to pray for blessings, and I'll also be your guide by the way.But you are only thinking about the salted duck egg specialty.

January [-]

Zhang Qi's family of three returned to Gaoyou for the New Year.His father and my father are old friends for many years, and the houses of the two families are also close to each other.

January 24

You seem to be very attractive to children. In just a few days, you have become acquainted with Zhang Qi's son. "What's your name?" "Zhang Liangyue" "How old are you?" "Six years old"

I also imitated your tone and talked to Liangyue: "How about going to Uncle's house to play? Uncle will teach you how to play the erhu." He ignored me.

Liangyue is a musical genius with absolute pitch.And he himself especially likes the pipa.But Zhang Qi is not in a hurry to let him learn basic music theory. He said that after graduating from elementary school, the main job of children is to play.

I know that because of his grandfather's death, Zhang Qi aspired to be a doctor, but because of his color weakness, this dream was shattered.

I know what he wants to do.He let Liang Yue continue his dream.What he can't do, let Liangyue do it.

I didn't want to worry about their father and son's troubles, but now that you and Liangyue get along so well, I feel that there may be room for improvement.So I told you the whole story, and you immediately accepted the job with integrity.

February 29

I worked diligently on the Chinese medicine prescribed by my mother.The taste of traditional Chinese medicine is obviously not strong enough to describe it only as unpalatable.I was afraid that you wouldn't want to drink it, so I went to buy a big box of white rabbit toffee, and let you have one after you drink it.

Such considerate service, I am afraid that there is no other place in the world.But you still have many opinions: "I don't want a white rabbit, I want dragon beard candy."

You said you want dragon beard candy, then I will buy it.As long as you are willing to take medicine, other problems are not a problem.

March [-]

Yanming successfully gave birth to her son Sun He.

I am an uncle.

Yanming also said proudly: "I will spend the rest of my life watching a boy grow into a man."

March 23

Sun He was diagnosed with congenital heart disease.

He is still young and his physical condition has not yet reached the standard. Radical surgery will have to wait until he is at least three years old. The only way at present is to delay.Yanming brought Sun He to Hangzhou in the hope that he would have a good medical environment.

May 26

In two months, Yanming received five critical illness notices.

☆, six, 36 years old, 29 years old

December [-]rd

In early winter, the bitter north wind has already blown to Hangzhou.The tree outside the window has only dark branches left.

Sun He quietly left this world in the cold wind.

You accompanied me to Sun He's funeral with a bad cold.I looked at Yan Ming who was crying bitterly, and what came to my mind was her slightly proud expression that day: "I will spend the rest of my life watching a boy grow into a man."

After the funeral, Sun Duqian took Yanming on a trip to change her mood.

I haven't played the erhu or practiced calligraphy these days, and often sit on the sofa in a daze.I don't even know what I'm thinking.

December [-]

I said I'm going to West Lake to relax, and you want to go with me.

"Brained and confused? Obediently lie down at home." You pretended not to hear, and got up from the bed with difficulty. "Okay, okay, I won't go, I'll just sit here with you."

You sat up, looked into my eyes, and said seriously: "Perhaps, watching all this happening quietly is not indifference, but a person's respect for life."

December [-]

I slowly returned to my original regular life.

I wrote a eulogy for my little nephew - "Six Regrets".

December [-]

You can't afford to be sick.

The doctor said that the viral myocarditis caused by a cold is not optimistic. It is likely to develop into dilated cardiomyopathy after the acute phase, and heart failure will occur repeatedly.

December [-]

You are asleep most of the day, and when you are awake you talk to me and smile at me.At this time, I will have an illusion.In fact, you just have a small cold, sleep well.

However, you, who were still smiling one second, will suddenly have heart failure the next second.

The instruments in the ward made screeching noises.

Doctors and nurses pour in...

Seeing you lying between the white quilts wearing a breathing mask... For some reason, I always think the worst.Sun He's death is enough to shake me, if I lose you too, what will happen to me?

December [-]

You need prolonged infusions every day, needle holes in both hands, and patches of bruises form around them.

I wrap your hands with hot towels every day, and do what I can to relieve your pain.

December 31

Maybe the Buddha still has pity on me, he didn't take you away from me again.

In the past two weeks, your condition has gradually improved, and the cases of arrhythmia and heart failure have gradually decreased.

January [-]rd

You can leave the hospital.However, the doctor told me to stay in bed for at least six months, otherwise there will be sequelae, and I need to go back to the hospital for regular checkups.

January [-]

Because you have to stay in bed for a long time, it is impossible for you to return to Yiwu this Spring Festival.In this way, your sickness will be known to your father.You are very distressed by this.

Xia Yu came to Hangzhou and brought news that your father is going on a business trip abroad, and the new year will not be over.And Xia Yu promised to keep this matter a secret from your father.

Xia Yu came this time and brought his daughter Xia Wen with him.

The father and daughter were afraid of disturbing your rest, so they sat for a while and then left.

Then I came to ask you: "When did he have a daughter? Why didn't you tell me about it?" "Xia Wen was born two months later than Sun He. At that time, you were worrying about Sun He. I didn't tell you. I also went to eat Xia Wen's full moon wine secretly. By the way, there is one more thing I didn't tell you. Zhang Qi has already asked Liangyue to learn the pipa. I have a super sense of accomplishment."

During that time, you were living so hard and doing what you could, while I was living a decadent and negative life, and kept saying to myself: You can’t do anything.

I'm such a ridiculous rotten person.

January 24

The sun in winter always looks lazy, hanging low and sleepy on one side of the sky, making the shadows very long and long.

Sunlight slanted in through the floor-to-ceiling windows.You stretched out your hand from the quilt and looked at it in the sunlight.

That hand was pale and weak, but it tried so hard to grasp the hope of life.

February [-]th

"Historical Shu" deadline, after the full power to Zhang Qi to do.

Although you have nothing to do, you still like to worry about here and there: "You write so slowly, when will you finish "Shi Shu"?" "I don't know, maybe I can't finish writing in this life, but I can write How much is it?" "No, you have to finish it from the beginning to the end when you do something."

"What good is it for me?" "I will accompany you to finish it. When you finish writing it, I will accompany you until that time." "The good thing is that you have a red sleeve to add to the fragrance? I am not a womanizer. What's more, when I finish writing, I will be at least eighty years old." "I will definitely live until then." "Really, you are so weak." "Human potential is unlimited." " That's it, hook."

february [-]

Discussing publishing matters with Zhang Qi.It was originally a very serious occasion, but Zhang Qi suddenly looked at me and smiled gratifiedly, which made my hair stand on end.

"Don't look at me like you look at your son."

Zhang Qi shook his head with a smile, and said: "You used to be depressed, like an old man who sees through the world, looking down at the surroundings with a disappointed look all day long, as if nothing in the world can arouse your interest in living. Well, death or not, it doesn't matter to you. After meeting Xia Han, you slowly became cheerful and learned what life is."

I said, "Turn your face to the sun, and there will be no shadows."

Zhang Qi picked up the dictionary at hand and threw it at him: "What kind of literature and art are you pretending to be in front of me?"

March 21

The weather is slowly getting warmer, and the doctor said that you can increase your activity a little.I will help you get out of bed and walk around every day.

June [-]

You're healed, you can stay out of bed all day, and you can go back to work.

August [-]

We had birthdays together.I gave you a string of Xingyue Bodhi, and you gave me an erhu.

☆, seven, 37 years old, 30 years old

May [-]

Living with two people has become an ordinary but essential thing like breathing.

June [-]

The weather is getting hotter and hotter, making people drowsy every afternoon.There is a recliner in the study. After lunch, you lie on it and read a book, and fall asleep after reading it.I basically stay in the study during the day, either working or practicing calligraphy.If you fall asleep in the study, I'll put down what I'm doing, take a towel and cover it for you.

You sleep poorly on the couch, and after a while, you wake up, read a book, fall asleep again, and repeat the cycle until dinner.

Sometimes when you get tired of reading, you will run to the living room to watch TV—either holding watermelon or mung bean paste.Watermelon has a sweet, watery taste, while mung bean paste is ice-cold, and the electric fan is shaking its head, which makes people feel like summer is coming a feeling of.

August [-]

At night, I will take you to the West Lake.

Because today is the seventh and a half lunar month, the Hungry Ghost Festival.In ancient Hangzhou, people had the custom of visiting the West Lake at night to enjoy the moon.Zhang Dai of the Ming Dynasty wrote in "July and a half on the West Lake": "The moon is bleak, the east will be white, and the guests will disperse. We rowed a boat and slept soundly among the lotus flowers for ten miles. The fragrance is touching, and the dream is very pleasant." Modern It is indeed difficult for people to appreciate the fun here.

Zhang Dai, like me, lives in Hangzhou.

I like his writing style, which is clean and tasteless.I even think that among the literati in the Ming and Qing Dynasties, only his articles can be read.I have also read his "Tao An Meng Yi" and "West Lake Dream Search" repeatedly.

August [-]

I plan to express my love to you on our birthday, but I am struggling with the words-how to express my love in a tactful and romantic way.

Speaking of love words, the ancients are still the best.A little story.One's surname is Hu, and the other's surname is Cen.When taking a walk under the moon, Cen was touched by the scene and wrote a couplet: "Ancient times are partial to the moon." This is to disassemble "Hu" into "ancient" and "month".Hu then checked the couplet: "Now I only love mountains."

August [-]

I took you to Kunming.On the way, you joked: "Why don't you go to Jade Dragon Snow Mountain this time?" I answered you seriously: "People who have had pulmonary edema once should not go to places above 3000 meters above sea level."

The World Horticultural Expo Garden is not far from downtown Kunming, so we went there.You also sarcasm him: "Gardening? An old man is an old man."

I made a plan and took you to the rose garden, trying to create a romantic atmosphere.Unexpectedly, the rose garden is not open today.You say you want to visit the herb garden.

Herb garden...

I am desperate.But after entering the garden, it was bright again.The medicinal herb garden is like a three-dimensional landscape painting, with the traditional Jiangnan garden style.

There is nothing wrong with such a beautiful scenery.I cleared my throat, put my hands on your shoulders, and made us look at each other: "Are you willing to be my responsible editor for life?"

"You writers are really troublesome to talk, and you can't get around."

"I love you"

You smile: "I love you too"

The author has something to say: Zhang Dai, a native of Shu, was named Tao An.He is less a playboy, he loves prosperity, he likes fine homes, beautiful maidservants, child prostitutes, fresh clothes, gourmet food, horses, lanterns, fireworks, pear orchards, advocacy, antiques, flowers and birds. Tea obscenity and tangerine abuse, book beetle poetry devil, half a lifetime of toil, all become dreams.From the age of fifty, the country was destroyed and the family was destroyed, and they took refuge in the mountains. The survivors had broken beds, broken tripods and sick pianos, and countless books and inkstones.Clothes and vegetables are eaten by commoners, and they often stop cooking.Looking back 20 years ago, it was like a lifetime away.

☆, eight, 38 years old, 31 years old

March [-]st

Shrubs, new buds emerge from the old purple-black leaves, which are extremely tender green, bright but not ostentatious, beautiful from a distance or near.

The willow leaves are also smoked, changing the decadence of winter.It was a vibrant yellow-green.

March [-]

Continuous rain shrouded Jiangnan in March, and the patter was heartbreaking.

May [-]th

I don't know why your father is here, or why our layer of paper will be punctured so quickly.It's been less than a year since we officially got together, and we're about to come out.

Your father was very calm at first, telling you to go home with him with no expression on his face.You have no choice between your father on one side and me on the other.Seeing your hesitation, your father started to frown and repeated his order.

"He won't go back with you now." I said.

I know the consequences of saying this sentence.

May [-]

The major media began rushing to report on Liangxiang’s coming out, but they consistently avoided the hot topic of “Who is Liangxiang’s colleague?”No need to guess, it must have been written by your father.

I have been under a lot of pressure from public opinion, and readers are also very disappointed in me.

House seemingly endless rain.It just so happened that my contract with the publishing house expired.Under the pressure of your father, they didn't dare to renew my contract.As for other publishing houses, no one is willing to sign me, a perverted writer.Zhang Qi traveled between various publishing houses for my business, but to no avail.I'm probably a vagrant now.

May [-]

After my parents heard the news, they immediately severed ties with me. They didn't react too much, and they didn't say anything to me.He (she) has always been so indifferent, I have long been used to it.

Yanming and Sun Duqian still have contact with me, they can accept the fact that I am gay.

It has been more than a year since Sun He passed away, and Yanming is slowly coming out of the gloom.He (she) no longer travels all over the country, but chooses to settle in Wenzhou.

When speaking with Sun Duqian, I said, "Wenzhou has such a poor environment and the quality of its citizens is not good. Why did you choose this place?"

"We just got so close that we couldn't walk anymore. And ... it's not that cold in winter here," he said.

Yes, why did I forget.The winter when Sun He left us was very cold.

May [-]

I sat in front of the computer all day and couldn't type a word.

Since that day, you neither cry nor laugh, and don't say unnecessary words to me, and you are cold all over.

July [-]nd

I took you to Suzhou, in this jasmine blooming season.

Suzhou is the place where you and I started. I want to take you here to rectify your mood.

No matter what happens, I will always love you.

July [-]th

Get on the city and country bus.

In the afternoon, the slightly hot air in early summer makes people drowsy.Most people in the bus leaned their heads on the backs of their seats.I put my arms around you and sit in the corner of the last row.

I opened the window a crack.The breeze came in with a special fragrance, sweeping away the laziness in the car.You straightened up and said softly, "It's Jasmine."

This art school is on the outskirts of the city, surrounded by jasmine trees, and there is an old pear tree in the middle of the yard.

In addition to writing articles, I can also write calligraphy.Although no publishing house is willing to take me as a writer, there are still art schools that are willing to take me as a calligraphy teacher.

I said, I've done the math, my savings is not enough for us to live the rest of our lives, and the blockade of me by various publishing houses is not enough.