through those heavy years

In the evening, continue to take the bus to go back, watching the dazzling city night view, rushing off-duty crowd, continuous traffic flow, and the cool breeze mixed with strange smells, feeling quietly.

After getting out of the car, walk down that alley.On the wall on the left side of the alley, there is an overly painted red door. There is a woman standing at the door as usual. A thick layer was painted on the wall and it was completely unrecognizable. No matter what angle you looked at it, you couldn't tell what kind of facial features she was.

She realized that I was looking at her, and laughed stiffly at me, beckoning in a shrill voice: "Handsome guy, handsome guy! Come on, come on! It's 50 yuan, 50 yuan!"

I didn't have the slightest resistance to sex, but I didn't like the feeling of soliciting customers to do business.I quickened my pace and hurried out of this alley.Behind him, he didn't continue to yell, but just sighed slightly.

According to the sign I remembered, I quickly found the house I rented yesterday.I bought some daily necessities in a small shop nearby, and started to live a simple life with a home.I carried a few big bags and opened the door with the key that Zuo Wanyu handed over to me yesterday.Zuo Wanyu was still lying on my bed, playing with her mobile phone, she was surprised and at a loss when she saw me for a moment.

"Hey, you didn't leave?" She immediately got up from the bed and watched me walk into the room with a little joy.She thought I was going to go, like other men, get a free night's sleep and never come back, it was a total tease.

"Where are you going?" I deliberately asked back, "I'll be back after get off work!"

"Oh, hehe." She was even more delighted, and whispered, "I thought you would leave and not live here!"

"why?"

"I don't know!" Zuo Wanyu thought for a while, rolling her eyeballs, "Probably some men I've met are like this, they pat their butts and leave after having sex. Besides, you don't have any luggage!"

I didn't speak, went to the toilet and put away the emerald green plastic bucket with shampoo and shower gel I just bought, rubbed a new towel with water a few times to wash off some of the color, and hung it on the tied towel at both ends. In dark red packaging.Use a brush to clean the bamboo mat that still smells like fresh bamboo, and put it on the window to drain.Then he went to the room, arranged the slippers, put the pillows on the bed, washed and cut the bought fruit, put them on a plate, handed them to Zuo Wanyu, and invited her to eat.

Zuo Wanyu looked at me with a smile on my face, saying that it was the rhythm of my life.She is eating fruit and is in a particularly good mood.Her hair was disheveled, and she was still wearing yesterday's clothes. She seemed to have stayed in the rented house all day and never went out.

She said, "Have you had dinner?"

“Ate here at work!”

"Oh!" She asked curiously, "Where do you work and what do you do!"

"Tea meal, stir-fry!"

"Chef!" she laughed, "Good job!"

"It's not a chef!" I said, "Because I didn't get any red book, so I can't prove my identity as a chef."

"Fried dishes are delicious and you are a chef. Why do you care so much? Do I have to get a red book to prove my identity?" She giggled after she finished speaking.

She said: "I haven't eaten yet, I haven't eaten all day, a plate of fruit is not enough! Hehe, you are a chef, can you cook something delicious for me?"

"Okay!" I thought it was nothing, "but I don't have anything here, what should I do!"

"That's not easy, just buy it. Anyway, you have to cook sooner or later, don't you. For example, when you rest at home, don't you just cook for yourself!"

She took me downstairs to go shopping in a large supermarket.Lulu met a young landlord, joked with each other a few words, and then went in their respective directions.She looked happy and very happy, and she went shopping.It looks like a young couple living their lives.

When he walked out of the supermarket, his hands were full of things again.She hid her hands behind her back, and suddenly two objects dangled in front of my eyes, and she said in surprise, "Look!"

I took a closer look, but it was two chocolate-flavored ice creams.She said, "Here, it tastes good!"

Staring at the ice cream in a daze for a while, the familiar picture seems to come back to me.I remember the first time I ate ice cream, Luo Feng's surprise smile was placed in front of my eyes like a magic trick, the taste is still wonderful and very moving when I recall it.Sadly, now that the object is gone, it feels very different.After the inexplicable move, only a deep sigh was left.

Zuo Wanyu saw my dignified expression, and asked: "Why, don't you like food!"

I came back to my senses and smiled slightly: "No, I just remembered the picture of eating ice cream for the first time!"

"Oh, hehe!" Zuo Wanyu said with a weird smile, "Eating ice cream with your first girlfriend will make your memory deep!"

"Really!" I smiled noncommittally, and took the ice cream from Zuo Wanyu's hand.

Back at the residence, I soon made a big dinner.Zuo Wanyu praised her endlessly, saying she was so happy, she had never eaten such a delicious meal in her life.

After that, she often came over at night, bought good food and asked me to cook it for her.

After dinner, she sat next to me and talked while I listened quietly.Words such as sex and men usually escaped her words.After speaking, he looked angry and vented his hatred.

Every now and then she would ask me out of the blue, "You must hate sex?"

Many times, I tried to explain it to her.She didn't believe it, and always refuted it in an affirmative tone.The two get along (we can say get along for the time being).One party attaches great importance to the other party, and the party who values ​​it feels that he is very humble and has no self-confidence.Many obstacles will be built in life, resulting in a generation gap.Later, there were more and more words like this, and I found that the more I explained, the more words I had to say.So he simply didn't speak and didn't respond.She found that I didn't even have a basic explanation, so she was even more affirmed that I discriminated against sex, and often sulked in my life.

Once, I really couldn't help asking her because she was in my room every day for more than half a month and seemed to have never been anywhere else. Part of the reason was to change the subject.I said, "You stay at home every day, don't you have to go to work?"

She was suddenly furious and said, "Why, you are tired of me pestering you all day, and you plan to drive me away and let me pick up the guests?"

It dawned on me that her work was very sensitive.Asking her about going to work is exposing her old background and hurting her self-esteem.I want to explain, but I have said everything that needs to be said, and now I can only say one sentence, which has no meaning.She trembled with anger, and tears fell down one by one.Then he said a series of words.

She said: "I am a slut, yes, but not the kind of filthy slut who accepts all customers. The lady boss of that shop is nice, she doesn't force me to do things I don't want to do, she will often ask me to stand The platform, support the scene, and give me a corresponding salary. In that kind of shop, it is not necessary to sell the body to make money.

"Of course, working in that kind of place, my body is not very clean. Just like I was someone else's mistress, I had to give in to tough customers, and I was often raped by others. I just paid five It’s nothing more than laughing at ten steps. Only ridiculous people try to explain that they are half-new. This kind of person’s character is quite disgusting, isn’t it!”

As she talked, she realized that she couldn't get rid of her identity as a prostitute, and gradually fell into a situation she couldn't extricate herself from.For this reason, she fought with me for three days.Even if I say some good things, it will not help.

After she came back to her room, I had never felt so empty in the room, and I was a little flustered.I don't know when, since I have become a little dependent on her existence.People who have always been alone, since they also have an eagerness for warmth.

Every day when I come home from get off work, I will still prepare meals for her.Then serve it to her.She didn't answer the knock on the door at first, but when she saw my insistence, she would open the door, look at me aggrievedly, and then bring the food in.

Maybe it was my sincerity that touched her. On the third night, when she opened the door, she hugged me and cried bitterly.We stood at the door, maintaining a hugging posture for a long time.Later, she reconciled with me.

She said: "I don't do sex anymore, let's be together. Are you willing to put aside my identity as a gangster and be with me?"

I nodded and said, "Okay!"

"Really?!" She was overjoyed with joy.

"En!" I continued nodding my head.

Afterwards, I made a conscious effort to watch my words.In a month, they got along somewhat harmoniously.Although she also intentionally ignores her own identity, she still can't help but talk about some of the sex sisters in the store.The one she talked about the most was a man named Wang Xiaowen.Wang Xiaowen is a pseudonym, his real name is unknown, and he has been engaged in the sex industry for four or five years.

She said that Xiaowen came from the countryside, had been hurt by a man, and became quiet.Xiaowen always looks pitiful, which makes people feel distressed.It is precisely because of this appearance that Xiaowen has become very attractive, and there is an endless stream of customers coming and going. Many big bosses are her regular customers. In the shop, name her.

The length of the text is okay, but the skin is a bit dark.But she has a pure demeanor, no matter how long she has been in the sex industry, and how much bad smell she has been contaminated with, she will not be able to tell that she is a sex at all when she stands among the crowd.Xiaowen seems to be very short of money, and her daily life is very tight. She works hard to receive customers to earn money every day, but there is still not enough money to spend, and she does not know where she spent it.

Once, Xiaowen wanted to borrow money.This is the first time Xiaowen and I have lived together in the same place for more than a year, and it is the first time that Xiaowen asked me to borrow money.She only spoke to me, and no one else would speak.

I don't know why, but I immediately nodded and agreed to lend her the money.Xiaowen said thank you gratefully, and took all my savings.

Xiaowen has not been able to pay off the money she owes me so far. Every time she sees me, she always apologizes guiltily.Seeing her pitiful appearance, I really felt sorry for her, so I said it's okay, it's always the same.After speaking, Xiaowen burst into tears.Make people stand by and feel helpless.I think it's no wonder that men like her, even I, who is an asshole, want to hold her in my arms impulsively and love her for the rest of my life.