through those heavy years

Some older workers jokingly said: "Young man, it's time to find a girlfriend to play with, otherwise there is no place to vent your anger. If you think about it every day, how can you have the heart to go to work!"

Whenever we sit together, the topic will always go between sex.This is already a common phenomenon, like the sun rising from the east and going back and forth day and night.My first knowledge has been taught day and night, but I am not ashamed to call myself an expert.

This was said to Luo Feng, who is already 22 years old.The seniors present were probably married when they were seventeen, so they thought it was too abnormal for Luo Feng not to have a date so far.Unexpectedly, Luo Feng remained silent, a blush instantly appeared on his face, and he felt ashamed easily.This is very abnormal, as usual, he would fight back verbally, and would never be shy easily.What is the problem? I cheered up, all kinds of abnormalities showed that something was wrong with Luo Feng!

The workers continued to talk about the age of marriage.They said that in their village, children at the age of sixteen or seventeen rushed to get married, and became parents at the age of seventeen or eighteen.The grandparents in their thirties are very proud and show off everywhere (after all, in the countryside, those who can marry a wife have some family background. Many rural parents are poor, and it is difficult for their sons to marry a wife, which is a joke).Marrying a wife and having children early has created a culture of comparison in the countryside. Still single at the age of 22, for the parents at home, it is already a major problem, and they are restless.

Speaking of these older workers, most of the children are fifteen or sixteen years old, and they are very sure of this in their hearts. They feel that if they don’t study and get busy with their marriage early, it is also a matter of worry, so that they don’t have to worry about others. gossip.Besides, the parents are young and can earn money to provide financial help, and even help with grandchildren.If you can't walk when you're old, it's definitely useless to rely on the current generation of children who become parents when they are still young. They can't even take care of themselves, and their grandchildren will be tortured to death.

At that time, I didn't know what it means to be a father, and I didn't know that it was the responsibility of adults to marry a wife.Thinking of people like me who have no father and no mother, according to the common sense in the countryside, wouldn't it be that I have to be single for the rest of my life.But having said that, it is very good to make a bill in my situation.It must be worse than death for me to marry a woman.But I dare not say that I will never get married in this life.Just thinking about it gives me the creeps, at least for now.

Luo Feng's parents are disabled, and the family situation is not much better.The money he earned hard outside in the past few years basically subsidizes his family, and there is not much left.Looking at Luo Feng's blushing side face, he was thinking that his parents must have had a lot of headaches and their faces were full of sorrow when it came to the important matter of marrying him.Luo Feng looked restless, maybe he was also worried about his marriage, afraid that he would not be able to marry a wife.If I were a woman, I would marry him even without the dowry.He is so outstanding that there is no need to worry about not being able to marry a wife.Facts have also proved that there is indeed a woman with an upside-down post who has already come to her door.

Workmates quickly turned the slightly orthodox topic to pornographic content.Because Luo Feng didn't say a word, the phenomenon was abnormal, and I focused on his expression most of the time.In some ways, he was indeed a bit of a puzzler today.Occasionally he would look at me with complicated messages.He smiled, then looked into the distance, and his body got closer to me.I really want to chat with him about marrying a wife, and want to probe his thoughts.However, after a while, I found that his expression immediately became serious, and he stared intently at the staircase.I followed his gaze and saw that it was a girl with a sky-blue down jacket tightly wrapped around her body, long black hair draped over her shoulders, taller, and was turning around to ask a welder beside the boiler.

The welder stood up, knowing the lair where we gathered together to be lazy, he raised his hand and pointed in our direction.The girl followed the welder's hand and looked over, suddenly showing ecstasy.Then he nodded and said thank you several times, then trotted over.

I was still wondering who was the girl's acquaintance, but Luo Feng got up immediately, and walked towards the girl shyly.The chatting workers suddenly fell silent.Who is this girl to Luo Feng? I was worried and held my breath.The girl is cleanly dressed, with clear facial features, a little dark skin, and two small canine teeth when she smiles. She just feels like a special village girl when she smiles.They stood at a distance of seven or eight meters from us. The girl looked very excited, showing the joyful look of missing the final reunion. She took Luo Feng's arm at once, and all of them acted coquettishly, familiar with each other. It seems that the two are a couple who have been separated for a long time.

Luo Feng kept his back to me, it was difficult to see his appearance clearly, but he seemed to be smiling very sweetly.

The overall image of the girl and Luo Feng is a good match, they are classmates in junior high school, the girl took aim at Luo Feng very early.They came over, arm in arm.From what I saw, I knew they were boyfriend and girlfriend without guessing.

The chatting workers got to know the situation for a while, and immediately made a fuss.They clapped their hands and shouted: "Okay, it's hidden deep enough, and Meijiao Niang is here to do it secretly. Fortunately, we still have an idea to introduce our daughter to you, the young man is now a failure!"

The workers burst into wild laughter, and in the atmosphere that seemed to be full of festivities, I was the only one who understood reluctantly, my face was as pale as snow, and my whole body was lost.In a state of confidence that I thought I could win and grasp happiness, I suddenly fell into a state of despair where I couldn't see my fingers.The gap between them made me feel that my heart was torn apart, and my whole body was in severe pain.Have all expectations become ridiculous, lowly, and vulgar strokes?I was so naive, thinking that after reading a book, I would confidently want to have love.However, when did the god of luck take care of me? People like me are doomed to be accompanied by tossing pain for a lifetime!

Luo Feng and the girl came over.He pointed to some people and said, "This is my colleague who went to work with me!"

The girl smiled and waved shyly and politely: "Hi everyone!"

Luo Feng turned to me, and at that moment, I saw his eyes dodge a little.He ended up smiling, and our eyes met.I couldn't hide my tearing emotions, and my eyes were frosty.He pointed at me and said, "This is my good brother, the one from the same place as us!"

"Oh!" The girl seemed to realize it suddenly, and her smile became brighter, "You are Xiaodong, Luo Feng often mentions you!" She imitated the people in the city and stretched out her hand for a handshake.

mention me often? !Ha ha, a bit ironic.Could it be that you have been together for a long time before you have time to mention me often.What am I? I’m just a good brother. Do you mention it often?I didn't even want to take a look at this girl, I just continued to stare at Luo Feng with eyes that were about to collapse, the atmosphere at the scene was chilled by my abnormal performance.But I'm already doing my best to restrain myself.My sensitive nerves and violent blood were jumping, and there was no sign of wanting to kill someone.I have changed, the easiest way to lose courage in front of Luo Feng.I'm useless, I dare not say it clearly, and I don't have the heart to face it.I'm complaining, Luo Feng, how could you be so cruel to me suddenly, why didn't you tell me earlier.Yes, you don't know how I feel, so you don't have to.Even if it was all my wishful thinking, it still hurt me to be betrayed.

"This is my girlfriend, Wang Caixia!" He said hastily, thinking that I didn't hear his introduction, so I didn't reach out for a long time.

He couldn't wait to say it, for fear that others would not know.The distance from heaven to hell is really only one second.My humble seed of love was initially placed in a dead corner, impenetrable, withered and rotten, unable to see the sun.Later, I naively wanted to give it vitality, so I buried it in a fertile soil, willing to carefully fertilize it and take care of it with my body. Even if it does not develop and bear fruit, I still hope to have some sprouts.Now, it's a bad seed, a rotten seed, a cancerous seed that will never sprout.

"Xiaodong!" Luo Feng called me awkwardly.His girlfriend has already retracted her hand embarrassingly, showing a forced smile.

On the verge of tears, he turned and left.It's been a year since I haven't tasted tears, so I know it's more bitter than ever.Everything was wrong because I had expectations, and it hurt my heart when I was disappointed.I'm going to blame this damn perverted emotion again. I don't even have the courage to pursue it openly. It's so humble and dirty.I hid in the quilt and cried for a long time.It is mourning my love and burying my happiness.I was beaten back to my original shape, back to the world where I had only myself before, and I began to hate again, hating everything around me.

Lying on the bed, I don't know how long it has passed, as if in a daze, as if falling asleep.When I was about to open my eyes, a person pushed me gently and called my name softly.I wake up and look at him, his hand resting on the bed, his head hanging over his arm, watching me with his big eyes all night long.

It was getting dark, and the workers rushed to the cafeteria one after another after get off work.The air was cold and the room was dark.

"What's wrong with you, your eyes are swollen, aren't you feeling well?" Under Luo Feng's warm voice, there was an unusually concerned face.It's a pity, if this was yesterday's picture, it would make me feel warm and moved.But today he has a girlfriend, and all my emotions here are empty.Because the essence has changed, everything is meaningless.

I just looked at him and didn't want to say anything.I thought about the future, and thought about what kind of relationship we should continue to get along with.What could be the relationship? If you can't love, then you will be like a stranger.Isn't that the way things are going.Well, now I want to remember his appearance well.When recalled, it will not be so vague.In an instant, I had already made a decision.

"Why don't you talk, do you have a cold?" He stood on tiptoe and reached out to touch my forehead, but it didn't feel hot.

He felt powerless, looked at me blankly and said, "Are you blaming me for not being the first to tell you that I have a girlfriend?"

His hair is short and clean; he has thick eyebrows and big eyes, his eyes are dark and flickering; his nose is straight, and his lips are red and thin.He has a bright smile and a warm voice.He is heroic, fresh and handsome.He is good-looking, but not easy to remember.