the other side of the fireworks

When you like someone, it often starts with disgust. When you discover the advantages of the other person, the gap from bad to good is the most moving.

Xia Fengshu likes Xu An, but he likes it at first sight. When Xu An smiles, his whole body glows. This luminous body walks around in front of her every day, unaware of Xia Fengshu's affection.A few times, Xia Fengshu secretly breathed Xu An's breath, her blood flowed more intensely, and the love and passion silent in her chest moved like before a volcano erupted, carefully looking for the eruption port.Xia Fengshu didn't dare to confess, she felt that it was right to be depressed, and like all girls in a crush, she was afraid of being discovered, and afraid that she would never be able to get along with her after she found out.In throbbing again and again, Xia Fengshu gradually became convinced that Xu An was unique, and she was secretly obsessed with Xu An until Xu An became an indispensable part.

We met at the bus station, Xia Fengshu hated this coincidence, and let Xu An see how embarrassed he was when he had no money to take the bus.She could only maintain her self-esteem with indifference. Xu An left, and she could see that Xu An was very sad. Xia Fengshu was in a trance. Concern rushed towards her face, Xia Fengshu could no longer hold back the shoulders that had already leaned towards Xu An, almost for the first time in her life, she asked for help.

She got it, Xu An's chest is so hot, how can a girl be so kind-hearted and care about a same-sex friend so meticulously.That kind of tender care was never given by her mother. Seeing Xu An holding a hamburger and looking at herself at the entrance of the cinema, Xia Fengshu admitted for the first time that she was happy.

Part of her savagery towards Xu An was well thought out, and she seemed to want to stimulate more feelings of happiness. She knew that only omnipotent love could make a person tolerate herself to such an extent.She needs this love, but dare not tell Xu An that this is love, she loves her.

Xu An has a boyfriend, she is heterosexual, and she lives in the mainstream society with a bright future.

Xia Fengshu reminded himself all the time.Over time, she even hopes that she can enter the mainstream society and become a heterosexual, so that she can maintain a long-term and stable friendship with Xu An and help herself out of the predicament.Marrying a beautiful girl to a rich man is the fastest and most effective way out of poverty.That way the responsibility on her shoulders will be as light as a feather, and my mother will have fewer sighs for many years.

She met Wan Yonghong, a boy who studied fine arts. He didn't have much of an artist in him, but he looked like an anti-fashionista.Rebellious things have a special attraction to Xia Fengshu. She likes to be different. Since she was a child, she has survived with the belief that she is different. Now, being unconventional still attracts her.Wan Yonghong was very attentive to her, helped her mother a lot, and became friends with her.Xia Fengshu was the first friend of the opposite sex in his life. Before Wan Yonghong expressed his intentions, they got along very happily. , Wan Yonghong still couldn't help confessing, Xia Fengshu shook his head.The other party asked why, but Xia Fengshu didn't answer.

Wan Yonghong didn't give up, and his pursuit became more and more enthusiastic. When his mother found out, she asked Xia Fengshu what she meant, and Xia Fengshu said she was boring.Mom said it was okay if it was boring. Although the child is good, his family conditions are average, and there is nothing he can do well by studying art.A woman's vision must be accurate, one choice is a lifetime.Xia Fengshu said what do you like?My mother said that the family environment is better, it is too difficult to start from scratch, as a human being, just follow the rules, don't look for a man who is too beautiful, it is unreliable.

Xia Fengshu drew a frame in her heart, she knew she would have to choose one sooner or later.

On the other hand, Xia Fengshu finally convinced her mother that tying Xia Fengshu to the stall would affect her employment. Xia Fengshu gained the long-awaited freedom. She entered the law firm through Chen Guang's network. .This job is very respectable, and my mother always smiles when I mention it, as if her daughter has become a barrister and mother is more expensive than her daughter.Xia Fengshu knew that the road was still far away. The lawyers only talked nicely, and there were very few people who had achieved both fame and fortune. Based on what he had learned so far, he was just eating porridge.Whether he can pass the judicial examination after graduation is still unknown, and it is not easy to find a place to stay on his own.

Xia Fengshu is considered a person who knows how to restrain, even the most basic hunger and desire, but she rarely restrains her dislike of men. From another perspective, her mind is full of cynicism, because she not only dislikes men, but also dislikes women , She dislikes anything that is ugly, vulgar, or hurts her sensitive self-esteem in her eyes.Perhaps for her, nothing left but a little personality.

Everyone has personality, but not everyone can use it. You must have enough energy to attract others to experience your personality. The energy of Xia Fengshu is beauty.Sometimes, the more white eyes and sarcasm she encounters, the higher her head will be held up. Behind the loneliness, she relies on aloofness to support her.

It doesn't matter if you underestimate me, I won't underestimate myself.

It doesn't matter who underestimates me, Xu An, you can't underestimate me.

Fighting with Xiao Guo, quarreling with Xu An, life is in a mess, Xia Fengshu can't tolerate Jie Chu and can't stop him, so he can only vent his jealousy and depression in this way.Then, the relationship between her and Xu An completely collapsed, and the reason for the collapse was that she gave up.She didn't want to destroy the relationship between Xu An and her boyfriend like the underground party, and she couldn't fight Jie Chu openly.The contest at Christmas made Xia Fengshu lose confidence. Even though she could understand Xu An's difficulties and affirmed her position in her heart, she still set goals for herself after the quarrel.

find a boyfriend.

I can have what Xu An has, I am not a poor ghost who pesters you.

She has never tried to be so responsive in her life. She met Tong Zhan just as soon as she had this idea. The law firm she worked in had business dealings with Tong Zhan's bank, so they met.Tong Zhan was a handsome man who would be admired by anyone who saw him. Xia Fengshu felt attracted to him, and this feeling made her ecstatic. If she fell in love with a man, life would be much simpler.

Crush is OK too.

Xia Fengshu's means of getting close to a man is not very good, she has never approached anyone proactively, the maximum she can do is to smile when passing Tong Zhan.Moreover, there are not many opportunities for them to rub shoulders, just two or three times.And Tong Zhan is not a youthful college student, nor is he a drooling sex embryo.He is a merciful man with an obvious sense of superiority. Xia Fengshu couldn't understand his thoughts, and she was not in a hurry to understand. She felt that she could always get along with men happily before they confessed.In other words, she has no desire to conquer men.

It's hard to get because you want it.

It's easy because you don't want it.

Once to send documents, she went to Tong Zhan's office. The noon sun heated up the small room. Tong Zhan was wearing a snow-white shirt and neatly knotted tie, working intently at the desk.Xia Fengshu stood at the door for a while, watching with admiring eyes, yearning that one day, she could also sit in such an office, work with such a calm attitude, and live with a sense of superiority.Tong Zhan saw her and motioned for her to come in. "Finally sent you here." Tong Zhan reached out to take the briefcase and looked at Xia Fengshu.

"what does it mean!"

"What do you mean, waiting for you to come." One sentence clearly told Xia Fengshu that I am interested in you.

Xia Fengshu was stunned for a moment, "Wait for me or for the documents?"

Tong Zhan laughed, the man had a canine tooth, and when he laughed, his age suddenly shrank a few years, "You little girl reacts quite quickly, it seems that beauty and wisdom are both important!"

The two-minute meeting lasted more than ten minutes. Xia Fengshu said, "It's okay, I'm leaving." Tong Zhan said, "I'll see you off." Sending her back, Xia Fengshu didn't stay in a daze, she could smell the rising hormone of Tong Zhan next to her without opening the window.And she flinched a little. When she got off the car, Tong Zhan said, "What time do you get off work at night? I'll pick you up."

"Huh?" Xia Fengshu was completely stunned.

Tong Zhan said impatiently: "Ah, what, I'm chasing you! Don't say you can't see it." While speaking, the expression of Brother Gongzi was unmistakable, and Xia Fengshu was actually attracted by this expression. Seeing that the man in front of me completely meets the requirements of the mother, and even exceeds the imagination of the mother because of his good looks, which can cause side effects.But this meets her requirements. There is no girl who does not love handsome guys, let alone an extremely narrow-minded appearanceist like Xia Fengshu. Tong Zhan is not only handsome, but also very fresh, without the stale air that disgusts Xia Fengshu.

"Where are you going to take me?" Xia Fengshu responded with an open answer. If she said no, it means that she closed the door tightly, and this question means that the door is half open.

"Send you where you want to go." Tong Zhan was serious as if he was talking about a very serious job, and he himself was sitting upright.

Xia Fengshu didn't respond, but she understood that what she said was just right, and it would be a disgrace to leave a good or bad sentence bluntly, not to mention that she has never been a person who can talk endlessly, and she always said half to Xu An and kept the other half. , Tell this man that it's not bad to leave three points and seven points.

Tong Zhan chased him out of the car and followed into the office. Xia Fengshu thought he was on business, but he didn't expect him to ask what time he got off work when he entered the door, and left after getting the answer.

Others were puzzled, but Xia Fengshu knew very well that her love battle had begun, and the other party was an outstanding man.

Tong Zhan sent her back to school, walked her to the dormitory, and told everyone that Xia Fengshu was in possession.After going back and forth like this for more than ten days, Xia Fengshu was slowly immersed in this comfort, and her infinite yearning for falling in love with a man made her feel light.

The feelings in ambiguity are the least burdensome, and also the most imaginative.

Finally, Tong Zhan confessed, "Student Xia Fengshu, do you think we are suitable?"

"What do you think?"

"I'm not sure."

"Me too." Xia Fengshu's wandering eyes flicked over Tong Zhan's face, over the leaves of the sycamore tree, and towards a certain window. The sun shone on the glass window, but the light was not dazzling, just a dazzling The warm orange, the desire overlapping in the heart has also turned into orange, warm, exuding the fragrance of fruit.The fragrance is fascinating, but it is as far away as a dream.

Tong Zhan was perplexed by Xia Fengshu's bewilderment. Perhaps, in his eyes, it was a kind of expectation for him.Tong Zhan kissed Xia Fengshu, and in the corridor in front of the dormitory, he kissed her like no one else was around.Xia Fengshu's narrow body was tightly bound, Tong Zhan's chest was not thick, and he was also lean, but it was too easy to wrap Xia Fengshu.Xia Fengshu didn't resist, and she was also curious about the taste of the kiss. Tong Zhan's body odor was very clear, but his strength was the toughness of a man. Xia Fengshu felt his kiss calmly.

She thinks that she might fall in love with Tong Zhan.

Tong Zhan said, "We are suitable."

Xia Fengshu said: "It's not suitable." Xia Fengshu turned around and left, Tong Zhan asked: "Hey, what's the difference?"

"There's no reason to hate you." Xia Fengshu quickened his pace, but he heard Tong Zhan's hearty laughter.

Losing her first kiss like this was a blow to Xia Fengshu. The paradox was that she clearly wanted this, but she couldn't accept it emotionally.

The next day, Tong Zhan's gray Mercedes appeared at the door of the office as usual, but Xia Fengshu didn't want to talk to him. Thinking of his relationship, she was a little annoyed.The director reminded her: "Xiao Xia, she has a girlfriend."

Xia Fengshu was stunned, and the director lowered his voice and said, "And it's the daughter of xx, and she's a classmate with him. You know that Tong Zhan's mother is the deputy mayor, right? The two of them have a certain relationship."

"Really?" Xia Fengshu didn't want to see this kind of reminder.

"You are young and beautiful and easy to attract love, but you must be cautious in everything, girl, the greatest wealth in life is reputation." A woman in her 40s seems to be particularly convincing when she says this kind of words, but it is a pity that her preaching target is Xia Fengshu .

Xia Fengshu walked towards Tong Zhan's car with square steps, and looked out of the car window after getting in. The director left with a livid face, Xia Fengshu turned to Tong Zhan with a sullen face and said, "Didn't you reject you yesterday?" ? Why are you here today?"

Tong Zhan said with a look of surprise: "Why did you come up? You thought I was waiting for you?"

It was Xia Fengshu's turn to be surprised, and he opened the car door and left without saying a word, while Tong Zhan's car drove past her slowly, leaving behind a cloud of mocking exhaust.

Xia Fengshu scolded herself as she walked, and she ran out of words when she scolded at school, but at this time, she saw Tong Zhan's car and honked at her from a distance, she naturally ignored him, and Tong Zhan walked beside her, " It's so boring to be so unreasonable to return the body in the way of others."

Xia Fengshu quickened her pace, she thought the most powerful weapon was ignoring her.

Tong Zhan said: "I really don't want to talk to you, don't talk to me and call someone!"

As if Xia Fengshu didn't hear it, Tong Zhan grabbed her hand and said, "It's a kiss to make love, it's so boring to pretend that we don't know each other."

Xia Fengshu withdrew his hand and moved forward indifferently.

Tong Zhan shouted, "Xia Fengshu!"

Xia Fengshu stopped, and she remembered that Xu An had called her to stop like this, and then held her hand, clasping her fingers tightly.

Tong Zhan came over, "I know I was wrong, girls like you have very strong self-esteem, I won't compete with you in the future, don't ignore me."

These few words were sincere, and the hollow formed after thinking of Xu An was filled with sincerity, Xia Fengshu looked at Tong Zhan in confusion again, when the wind blew, the sound of sycamore leaves swaying was like blood flowing in blood vessels With the voice, more and more distracting thoughts flowed in Xia Fengshu's mind, and Tong Zhan couldn't help hugging her, "I love you."

It started like this, falling in love with a childish man, giving in is also childish, reconciliation is also childish, just like children will do things they don’t want to do for toys and candy, compromise without any principle.Xia Fengshu is deeply immersed in this pure emotional world, avoiding utilitarianism, and with Tong Zhan's hearty laughter, she lives freely and does whatever she wants.

This kind of life realm is the dream of many people.

But get bored quickly.

Because of the void.

Tong Zhan was very willing to spend money. The money gave Xia Fengshu an unprecedented enjoyment of life. Famous brands, food, cosmetics, and everything that complemented her beauty Xia Fengshu got. In just two months, she was called Tong Zhan's man brought another world. The 1000-yuan jeans and the 50-yuan wrapped body are the same, but they look very different. Although Tong Zhan is not a prince, but for Xia Fengshu's barren material life Said, he is a prince, besides, he still has a very handsome face.

To put it simply, the greatest satisfaction that Tong Zhan brought to Xia Fengshu was decency.

Then, she met Xu An again. At the job fair, Xia Fengshu wanted Xu An to meet the kind Xia Fengshu. She did it. When Tong Zhan took her away, she saw Xu An who was lost. , Thus, this empty relationship with Tong Zhan was overthrown.

At this time, Tong Zhan's legendary girlfriend appeared, and it turned out that she was indeed there.The rich girl who traveled in Europe turned out to be a painter. Xia Fengshu had never seen it before, and it was said that she was very temperamental, according to Tong Zhan.

In Xia Fengshu's eyes, Tong Zhan has three major advantages, rich, handsome, and honest.Any question, as long as Xia Fengshu asks, he will answer honestly, which is commendable.In fact, Xia Fengshu didn't know that being honest with her was something everyone who fell in love with her could do.Facing her, one couldn't tell a lie, so Xia Fengshu had to face many cruel truths.

After Tong Zhan explained the situation of the painter's girlfriend, he said in his usual childish way, "What should I do!"

Xia Fengshu was furious, "Are you asking me what to do?"

Tong Zhan was slightly stunned, and immediately raised his hands and said, "I didn't mean that, I was talking to myself, don't be angry, I will find a way to solve it."

"How to solve it? Let me listen."

"Solve it on the principle of not leaving you."

"Principles? Do you know what a principle is?"

"Don't mock me like that, it hurts your self-esteem!"

"Let me help you find a way!" Xia Fengshu would always be moved by the childishness in Tong Zhan's eyebrows, and then softened his heart.

"it is good."

"Dump me, go with her." Xia Fengshu said flatly.

Tong Zhan's eyes grew longer and his face became redder and redder. He was not shy but angry, "Xia Fengshu, you just don't take me seriously. Another woman appeared, and you didn't even have the courage to fight for it." No?"

"What's so arguable about seeing a man who loves another like this, who likes to take it away quickly."

Tong Zhan was really angry, and he thumped the table heavily, drawing sideways glances, "Why didn't I realize that you don't care about me so much?"

Xia Fengshu looked at his nose, nose and heart, with a heart like still water.

After breaking up like this, Xia Fengshu didn't spend much time adapting to the poor material life again, and focused on finding Xu An's trace.

She saw her, by the lake.

She knew she broke up with Jiechu.

In order to stop her pain, Xia Fengshu sat beside her, said a lot of things she didn't want to say, and even kissed her.