the other side of the fireworks

This kiss opened the glass door between the two.

Things were developing out of control. That night, on the bed of the Honest Inn, Xu An's words that you smell delicious gave her a shy dream.

The scary thing about first love is that when feelings come, you don't have any immunity, because you have never experienced it, and you can easily fall into a crazy mood.

She took Xu An to meet her mother and showed off her mobile phone to her mother. Tong Zhan also gave her the mobile phone. She didn’t want it. Zhan gave up, but she had no ability to resist Xu An's gift.

And Tong Zhan asked her out, in the name of the last time.

Xia Fengshu has gone, she can't be unfeeling towards Tong Zhan.

Tong Zhan didn't say anything about getting back together, but solemnly declared that he had lost money, and he didn't go to bed for more than a month after he recovered.

Xia Fengshu said: "What's the matter, I have to pay you back!"

Tong Zhan said solemnly: "I wanted to have an anniversary and a romantic night when I was [-] days old."

"Don't regret it, I won't give in for two hundred days." Xia Fengshu was patient.

"Why, these days, women's desire for men is no less than men's love for women."

Xia Fengshu thought for a while and felt something was wrong. Tong Zhan was clearly in this set of words, no matter what the content was, don't follow him down the conversation, let alone this kind of topic, "Then you will regret it, why didn't you Persist until one hundred days."

"Don't go, let's watch the last scene for a while longer!" Tong Zhan started acting coquettishly and playing with that child's fist again.

"What's so interesting, the more I look at it, the more I regret it." As soon as Xia Fengshu got up, Tong Zhan immediately sat next to her from the opposite side, blocking her in, "Sit for a while, just for a while."

"Aren't you annoying! Interesting?" Xia Fengshu pushed Tong Zhan, and Tong Zhan lay down on the table, refusing to move away.In the morning, there was not much business in this cafe, and the strange behavior of the couple attracted a lot of attention.

Xia Fengshu simply sat down, and the two sat without saying a word for two hours.Thinking that there was another person sleeping in the Honest Inn, Xia Fengshu's patience ran out, "Tong Zhan, don't waste it, okay!"

Tong Zhan turned to face her, "I don't want her, can I have you?"

"I knew you had a girlfriend a long time ago, so I'm still with you. Don't you think I'm cheap? Is it worth your cherishing?"

"I don't like her anymore, I like you!" Tong Zhan scratched his hair irritably, "If you say you're good to me, I'll break up with her."

"Anyway, you have to hold one in your hand, right? You're just a child's play house! Can you say something that matches your age?" Xia Fengshu couldn't get angry, she understood Tong Zhan's nature quite well. many.Smart, capable, unfocused, confident, courageous, spoiled too much.

Tong Zhan said: "I think you don't care about me, you don't feel bad at all if you leave me."

Xia Fengshu said this to the bottom of his heart, but saying that she is not uncomfortable at all is wronging her, "I knew you would say these sissy things, and the last side was your excuse. I knew you would do this to me. Still here, why do you say?"

Tong Zhan sat back opposite, looked at Xia Fengshu's face dignifiedly and asked, "Why?"

Xia Fengshu didn't know how to answer.

After sitting for a while, Tong Zhan paid the bill, and said sullenly: "I was tricked by you, Xia Fengshu, you ruined my sincerity."

Tong Zhan left, looking at his profile in front of the glass window, his lips were tightly pursed, his brows were furrowed together, Xia Fengshu felt sad, she liked Tong Zhan's laughter and the canine teeth he showed when he laughed.

It is impossible to live without abandonment and regrets. If it is not what I like, I will get it. If it is not completely mine, I will not want it.

Xia Fengshu is a person with such a perfect integrity complex.

She stood guard in front of Xu An's gate and pushed Tong Zhan away. She couldn't wait to pounce on Xu An and use her way to fully and firmly prove her self-esteem.

When Xu An came back, the two were still arguing, and then they kissed, a real kiss, a kiss where the soul was out of the body and the body was empty, it was different from a man, really different.

She regretted kissing Tong Zhan a little bit, it seemed that this real kiss was incomplete.In her bones, she still has some beautiful thoughts of life and life. Facing Xu An, this old idea that you are my only came out again, but after her intoxication met Xu An's heaviness, this thought was like a bubble It broke with one poke.

Xu An will not have [-]% love for her, because Xu An is afraid, afraid of this relationship.

However, Xia Fengshu was still unwilling to give up the wonderful mood at this moment, and lightly described this relationship as a game. Xu An still could not accept the playful kiss. At this moment, Xia Fengshu hated her for being serious.

They quarreled, and Xu An brutally tore away her most fragile writing self-esteem. She could not accept this kind of criticism. Even if what Xu An said was true, she would not listen to what Xu An said. Trampled tone.

She threw down more harsh words, not to play her temper, she really wanted to seal Xu An in her memory.

After graduating, my mother went back to her hometown without waiting to see her graduation certificate. Grandma had a stroke and was paralyzed without anyone to take care of her.Xia Fengshu refused to let her mother go, not only because that family was not worthy of her mother's sacrifice, but also because she was lonely, and the two intersecting relationships made her walk out of the school alone.Her mother is the last resort, but her mother only let her rely on that cold graduation certificate.

Xia Fengshu doesn't think she can be a lawyer. It is her ideal to work in newspapers and magazines. She likes to deal with words and hates rigid legal provisions.While planning for the future, her mother left her without hesitation, and Xia Fengshu felt abandoned.

With her own savings and the 2000 yuan left by her mother, she found a house and shared it with someone who was also a girl and worked in a beauty salon two years after graduation.Xia Fengshu didn't like to inquire and didn't care about other people's affairs, but this girl brought a man back every three days and it bothered her a lot.Once, I didn't shy away from doing that thing on the board chair in the living room.Xia Fengshu started looking for a house the next day. Before finding a house, she still had to endure the man's malicious gaze, which made her feel sick.So, she hurriedly found a house in an intermediary for 50 yuan a month, and the landlord was a woman in her 70s, with a very unkind look on her face.It is still a shared apartment, with two bedrooms and one occupant. The other resident is an old lady in her [-]s. She is the landlord's mother-in-law. Xia Fengshu feels at ease. It was enough to live a quiet life. Xia Fengshu spread her luggage on the hard plank bed, covered her head and cried without washing her face or brushing her teeth. That night, she curled up like that, crying, and fell asleep.

It's dawn, a sunny morning, a little bird squats by the open wooden frame window, chirping non-stop, as if arguing with a leaf sticking out of the window bars, pecking it with its beak while arguing, the leaf shakes Put it at the mercy of him, the bird flew away, the leaves swayed gently, and the green without sunlight seemed listless.

Someone knocked on the door, and before Xia Fengshu opened it, the old lady muttered in a very heavy accent: "Get up, go to school!"

Every day at six o'clock, the old lady would knock on the door and repeat this sentence.

Xia Fengshu who was woken up muttered a few words and continued to sleep. The old lady would knock again in 10 minutes. Xia Fengshu got up and opened the door. He wanted to say a few words, but the old lady knocked his head slightly and said: "Slacker Yo, how can I get married in the future?"

Xia Fengshu watched the old lady sit back on the rocking chair in the living room inexplicably, and said to her, "Cook for me."

Xia Fengshu tried hard to recall that when renting this house, the person who signed the contract was a woman in her fifties. She didn't say that she would take care of the old lady, and the contract didn't even mention it.Xia Fengshu decided to close the door and continue to sleep, the old lady said loudly: "I'm hungry, cook for me..." Xia Fengshu couldn't understand the rest, she spoke quickly and in dialect slang, In the end, Xia Fengshu could hear that she was swearing, and she was so excited that she was about to foam at the mouth after saying a few more words.No sleepiness at all, she went to the kitchen to cook a bowl of noodle soup for the old lady, thinking about going back to pour it for a while, the old lady insisted on pulling her to eat together, and gave her five yuan after eating, let her buy ice cream to eat.

Xia Fengshu felt something was wrong and called the landlord. The woman apologized and said that the old lady was a little demented, and told her not to take it to heart and ignore the old lady.

Xia Fengshu didn't want to talk about it, but the old lady came to knock every day, and she knocked endlessly. After a few days, she got used to it. Laying in bed is a habit that started after her mother left. After breaking up, I made breakfast for the old lady every day, and she would receive five yuan as pocket money. She had never tasted this kind of feeling. When she was young, where did she see such a large denomination bill, and where did someone give her money to buy ice.

She puts five dollars in a box, one a day, and it is hard to find a job. She sits by the window every day, and seeing these five dollars, she seems to feel a little relieved.

Finding a job is a complicated and simple matter. For a deciduous graduate like Xia Fengshu, he can go anywhere, and he has no roots.She has to live first, so she can't just sit and eat. In addition to submitting resumes and other news every day, she finds a job and works as a cashier in a supermarket.

Mom called and asked her to take the civil service exam and eat imperial food.It doesn't matter if you don't have a background, you have to rely on your ability to enter the officialdom. In fact, Xia Fengshu also has this plan. Before graduation, I heard many students discussing the civil servant test first, but Xia Fengshu is not sure at all, as if he has no confidence in the judicial examination. Similarly, her interest is in writing.Compared with the pressure of the college entrance examination, the pressure of employment is even worse. At that time, she only had the idea of ​​flying out, and she knew nothing about the outside world. Now, she has experienced the feasting and feasting of the flashy world. For this world, She began to desire more, after all, money.She wants to buy a house and take her mother to live. Every time she talks on the phone, she never asks about family affairs. In her heart, there is no house in the concept of home, only a mother.

All she has to do is build a house.

After moving, the 2000 yuan left by my mother was spent.But Xia Fengshu is used to being poor. When it comes to being thrifty, Xia Fengshu asks herself that she has no opponent. When it comes to loneliness, she has long been used to it. The air she breathes when she opens the window every morning is strange, as if she is experiencing this city again, this strange feeling Due to her unchanging life, the resumes she submitted fell into the sea, and she had to hold on to the reference materials for the civil service exam.

She never expected to meet Xu An again. In a big city with tens of millions of people, two people who are in a foreign land did not go home, but chose to meet here again.Indifference is born. When faced with emergencies, people who are naturally indifferent will always use indifference to cover up their bewilderment.

When passing by the bookstore, she was extremely indifferent.

Xia Fengshu strictly abided by what she said, and only let Xu An live in her memory, but Xu An flipped through the memory box again and again, and jumped in front of her alive. At the bus stop, Xu An just smiled at her like that. The maple tree was about to collapse, Xu An couldn't see it, only she knew it, she was shaking, her heart was shaking, her toes were shaking too, she desperately repeated what she remembered, and got on the bus like a spell.

However, Xia Fengshu finally failed. It rained heavily that night. The old lady was walking up and down in the living room, muttering something Xia Fengshu could not understand. Xia Fengshu wanted to close the door, but she refused to let it close. As long as it rained, she kept tossing about it. Xia Fengshu felt that it was enough, and closed the door at one o'clock in the middle of the night. When she closed her eyes, her whole body seemed to be slowly sliding into icy water. The loneliness began to freeze her, and when she was so cold that her teeth chattered and her consciousness was blurred, she saw Xu An. She didn't dare to move or take a deep breath. The appearance will disappear.

Early the next morning, she was still called to get up to cook noodles for the old lady. She secretly decided to call the woman who rented the house, and she wanted to change the place.

The woman came, and after explaining the situation, she yelled at the old lady without saying a word, half of which was dialect slang, which Xia Fengshu couldn't understand, and the part she understood didn't have a good word, and with a rough tone, Very aggressive.The old lady just listened with her eyes wide open, and finally fell asleep.

Xia Fengshu couldn't help asking, are you mother-in-law and daughter-in-law?

The woman said yes!

Xia Fengshu didn't know what it meant. She just said that the house could not be lived in and the rent had to be refunded. She had paid three months' rent and a deposit of 300 yuan before, and she said that two months' rent and deposit would be refunded.

The woman took the contract and said no. The contract didn't say anything about the old lady. Xia Fengshu couldn't cancel the rent because of the old lady. It would be better if she reduced the rent by 50 yuan a month, or she wouldn't refund a cent. What should I do? What to do.

Xia Fengshu is a law student, and she knows how troublesome such a trivial matter is.But she was frugal and couldn't afford to throw down more than a thousand yuan to find another place to live. She had no choice but to make the next best thing, reducing the rent by 50 yuan, and living for only three months.

The woman boss reluctantly took out 150 yuan from her pocket, threw it on the table, and said reluctantly: "What's the trouble, I just want to get some money back! Don't call the old lady anymore, call me!" I don't accept it either."

Xia Fengshu was so angry that she stared at the 150 yuan on the table for a long time. She didn't take the money, so she hurried to work.

This small dispute is not a blow, but it revealed Xia Fengshu's inferiority complex. The feeling of being under the fence has never left her. I never thought that I would still feel this way when I paid for the rent. When I got off the bus, I remembered yesterday and Xu. An reunited here, Xia Fengshu stood there for a while before going to work.

After returning to the rental room after get off work, she found that the 150 yuan on the table was missing. She asked the old lady, but the old lady didn't speak, and stared at her with sunken eyes, which made Xia Fengshu's heart shudder, but she didn't want to care about the money. It's just that my heart is getting more and more angry.

At this time, someone knocked on the door, and the woman on the first floor said that she came to deliver things to the old lady. This woman was running errands for the old lady. Give ten dollars.Today was no exception, the old lady took out 150 yuan for one hundred and four things, and Xia Fengshu could see clearly that this one hundred and fifty was the money thrown on the table in the morning.

Xia Fengshu couldn't help but get angry. Did the old lady do it on purpose?

The old lady divided the things carefully and put them in the refrigerator and the cabinet.Looking at her bent back, Xia Fengshu couldn't help but feel pity when she thought of the landlady's quarrel that made her drool all over the place in the morning.It turned out that the old lady, like herself, was also a poor person who depended on others.

She was in a bad mood and decided to go out for a walk. She walked for a long time in the alleys outside the community, and her mind faded away. She thought of Xu An again, and she couldn't hold back the thought anymore. The separation from her was not to prove her feelings, but to Separate for the sake of separation, this feeling has always been there, all there.

Xu An!

Xu An!